The grey haired boy proudly stood amongst the fuming black creatures scratching at the ground in anticipation with razor claws that made sparks fly between the splashes of blood. The daemons empty grey eyes burned with cold fire and they moved as one, one army filled with loyalty and ambition.
Koby's daemon leapt to the ground and stood in front of him in an aggressive stance. In turn Voice's eyes narrowed at seeing the unexpected and he leapt beside Phil, growing a few inches and sliding out the claws and showing his rows of gleaming teeth.
Phil's necklace began to glow and another dark shape jumped down from out of nowhere and growled at the army of shadow and blood, her hackles raised. She looked like a small fox. Voice blinked and dipped his head at her. She nodded and lashed her tail in anger.
Clawd grinned. The look on his face said 'I've won, got it?' His own daemon leapt onto his shoulder, blood leaking out of his mouth and dripping onto the boys arm. Koby backed away, his eyes wide with new fear.
"Back off, okay bitch" he snapped, his daemon nipping at the teen's heels. The army parted to let him through and he bolted, and not in the direction of school. The raw of blinding light above them disappeared and the army of shadows thinned out to just one.
"Don't thank me just yet" he smirked, his daemon disappearing for no apparent reason. Voice growled at him. "Why can you see me!?" he fumed. Clawd looked bored. "I just can, always have done" he answered simply. Phil shuddered. "Y-you c-can see V-voice?" he asked.
Clawd blinked. "Voice? Your daemon. Yeah, and the other, I don't know who's it is though" he explained. Voice snarled and stood in front of the fox like figure.
"Leave, get out of here, you shouldn't have that many daemons at your command" he ordered, his voice dangerously low.
Clawd rolled his eyes. "You can't touch me, I don't belong to you" he challenged. Voice just glowered at him and turned his back. "Phil!" he snapped. Phil jumped and nodded.
"Get out of here" he ordered him. Phil bit his lip. "I w-want to t-talk to Clawd…" he mumbled. Voice leapt forward and bit his arm, spilling a small amount of blood. Phil gasped and put his hand over the wound.
"Fine, just don't disobey me again" he growled, and walked away. Phil saw him mutter something to the fox and then watch as it disappeared.
The two boys walked to school with both their daemons next to them in physical form. "Uh so…w-what was that?" asked Phil, breaking the silence and rubbing his arm. Clawd looked at him. "I can see them to. Our daemons, our shadows, our self esteem, whatever you want to call them, I also see shadows" he explained.
Phil mulled that over. "How c-could you t-tell I could to?" he asked. Clawd smiled. "Just can" he said, allowing the breeze to play with his hair. "But I couldn't t-tell you could?" Phil commented. Clawd promptly ignored him. "Loads of people can actually see them, they just don't say"
"B-But that's stupid" he cried. "Were you prepared to tell everyone about yours?" Clawd asked, raising his eyebrows. Phil sighed and shook his head. "Guess not" he agreed. Clawd nodded to close the case and they walked in silence to the school gate.
They awkwardly parted once they got to the building and Phil sat alone on a bench at the back of the school, not really being able to process what just happened. Voice sat next to him. "That Clawd is a dick face" he said out of nowhere.
Phil blinked at him. "Shut up" he snapped. Voice frowned. "He s-saved my ass b-back there, so shut up" He growled. Voice sniffed and turned his head away. Phil bristled at his attitude. Was this because Clawd could see him?
"Also!" Phil began, ignoring Voice's claws unsheathe. "Why didn't you help me when Koby pinned me down?" he asked, anger sparking from him. Voice's empty eyes filled with hatred, his tongue swiped round his teeth.
"Because you need to learn to fight your own battles, your pathetic! When will you learn!" he jumped off the bench and growled, his flat fur spiking up and making himself look twice his size, his back arching. Phil glared at him. Why was he always such a cunt! Always! Voice disappeared and left Phil on his own.
"Fuck!" he yelled, punching the wall next to him. He winced in pain, as when he brought his fist back it was bloody and bashed up. He cursed again before he heard footsteps behind him. Surprised, he jumped and turned around quickly, but relaxed once he saw it was Alex. Now he could ask about the confusing text.
But his boyfriend looked anything but happy to see him. In fact he looked grave, and there were tears in his eyes hidden by the hair he let the wind blow in front of his face. His hands were in fists and he was staring at the ground, biting his lip.
"H-hi" he mumbled. Phil felt filled with worry as he saw a tear fall from his dark eyes onto his cheek. He quickly wiped it away and sighed.
"You okay?" asked Phil timidly. Alex looked at him, his eyes filled with pain. "I..I…fuck" he swore, looking away. "I…I want to…I…" Phil's eyes grew wide with worry. Now he was scared. "I want to break up" he got it out.
The walls pressed in on him, the ground rose up and sky smashed down on him. He felt like he'd been shot in the chest. No. Surely not. N-no. Please no. Why. Out of all the things god could do to him, out of how many…from…from everything that had happened. Why out of so many people was he chosen to suffer?
This wasn't happening…right?
Alex flinched at Phil's shocked face. A few more tears dropped from his eyes. He stepped forward and brushed his hand against Phil's face as they both began to cry. Phil let him for a few seconds. As he was trying to process what was happening. Alex. His Alex. His dramatic warm dark eyes, his soft golden hair, so soft. His gentle voice, the way he sounded when he was joking, the way his hands gently touch his skin and way he protected him. The days in the field away from school. The way he felt safe. All ripped away. Was it all a lie? Maybe he didn't deserve it. Maybe he deserved nothing good. Nothing like this. Anything that brought him happiness was destined to crumble and burn. But that was just part of being Phil. Everything good had to end. Nothing lasted.
"B-but…I. I'm i-in love w-with you Alex" he chocked out, tears splashing onto his cheeks, wetting his eyelashes. The thing was though. Alex looked as upset as he did. "I- I love you" he whispered. Alex dragged his hand away. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I love you to, you just don't understand. I'm helping us…you, I'm so sorry…" he trailed off. Phil felt like screaming. That made no sense. Jesus fucking Christ.
"Fine" Phil said flatly. "Fine" he made no effort to stop the tears falling. "I w-wont touch your s-skin again, I w-wont sing with you, o-or hear you sing. I w-wont feel your lips o-on mine again. I'll l-leave you alone" It took much of his strength to turn his back whilst he saw his now ex boyfriend break down in tears behind him.
But he did. He ran to the boys toilets and locked himself in a cubicle and cried his eyes out, feeling another shard of his half healing heart break away in splinters. He thought of Alex's lips, they way he held him close. How he had fought to keep Phil safe. He let out a shout of frustration and sobbed quietly, leaning against a wall. "Alex" he groaned between sobs. Why did this happen. What could happen next? What could be worse.
"Dan could be gone" Phil jumped as Voice appeared next to him. He sighed. He knew Dan came first. At least he was still…alive. But not here. He wanted the old Dan. He missed the old Dan. He needed him here. So badly. Alex had kept him more or less sane…sort of… whilst Dan wasn't there for him. What did he have left? Voice and Sam. And they didn't even have hearts or blood or…they weren't even alive.
Voice's smile was almost sympathetic. He nuzzled Phil's face, wiping the hair away from his watery ice blue eyes shining with sadness. "I'm sorry" he whispered. Phil sniffed. "No your not". Voice grinned, hiding his teeth. "You're right. I'm not. I'm not sorry for my actions. I'm sorry for your loss" he agreed. Phil sighed a shaky breath. "I fucking hate him" he said, frustrated. "No you don't" Voice said. "You're right. I don't hate him. I hate his actions" he agreed. They smiled at each other, a mutual peace between them. For now.
More of his shoulder length black hair flopped in front of his face. "My fucking hair!" he exclaimed. He had a sudden thought. Maybe it was time to stop hiding. Maybe the fight with Koby and the breakup with Alex had proved that. He unlocked the cubicle door and rummaged around in his pencil case for the scissors.
He peered into the mirror and began to snip. His long lank black hair fell a little past his shoulders, it had for so long. Dan still had long hair but it was a lot shorter. Maybe he'd have it a bit like Dan's. He snipped and felt a little adrenalin as great handfuls of hair fell out onto the floor. He'd clean it up when he was done. When he was done his ears were still partially covered and so was his neck but it was now more like boys hair. It was so short and it felt weird but good weird. Although it was a little uneven he was pleased with the results.
Voice nodded as Phil scooped his chopped off now dead hair into the bin. "Looks good" he commented. Phil nodded back. More tears started to come and he wiped them away. He was planning to say 'Fuck Alex' but that turned into more sobs. Maybe he'd go to class. That'd distract him.
He sighed and nodded. Yeah. He left the toilets, smoothing down his new haircut and heading towards the classroom. There were a few mutters when he entered without knocking.
He managed to get to his seat and unpack his bag quickly as the teacher was out of the room.
Maybe that was a bad thing.
"Hey, got a haircut L-L-L-L Lester!" He instantly looked up. It was some popular girl named Grace. He rolled his eyes and looked back down at his book. She frowned that he didn't retaliate and was suddenly up in his face, the whole class watching. He looked away, not saying a word. "Can you even speak?" she taunted him, strutting around in front of everyone.
"You're too mean, I don't like you. Fuck you anyway" he yelled, now addressing the whole class. "Fuck all of you" he growled, easily pushing Grace aside. The class stayed in a stunned silence. A few people nervously laughed. But they were surprised. Clawd was in that class. He felt a little bad and hoped he wasn't offended.
He trotted outside and sat behind the building next to the steps, hidden. He breathed in and out, in and out, in….in and out. Breath deep. Breathing, it's pretty useful. He wasn't sure what for the most though. Yelling insults, defending himself, or hurting others. And keeping alive. The last wasn't so important though.
"No shit" It wasn't Voice this time. Clawd hopped down to join him and sat next to him, followed by his daemon. It rolled over and lay draped across his shoulders. He stroked its head. Phil stared enviously, wishing he could be so connected with Voice like that.
"No shit what?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Clawd smirked. He wasn't used to this new boy being like this.
"You said breathing was good for living, I replied no shit" he explained like it was nothing, shrugging his shoulders and almost causing his daemon to fall off. Phil blinked in surprise. "No-n-no I didn't. I thought it!" he exclaimed. Clawd shrugged again, earning a nip from his daemon. He just grinned and patted its head confidently.
"Like the hair" he nodded. Phil nodded. His mind kept wondering back to Alex and he felt tears sting his eyes. He breathed more and reminded himself to grieve later. Now was not the time. "Alex broke up with you today?" Clawd commented. Phil stared at him. "He didn't completely want to though" he went on.
Phil threw his hands up in the air. "How d-do you kno-know this!?" Clawd smirked. "I just know things. I'm creepy like that" he explained like he was proud of it. "Mind if I take my contacts off?" he asked, turning away whilst his daemon clung onto his back and dug its paws in between his shoulder blades.
Phil shook his head before realizing Clawd couldn't see him when his head was turned. "Uh sure, I w-wear them to" he mumbled.
Clawd dipped his head and turned back around, his eyes no longer blood red but watery river blue, reminding him of a stream. Phil leant his head on his hands. "How d-do you know Alex?" he asked. Clawd shuffled around in his bag and took out a small bag which smelled of food. "Want some?" he asked as he took out a sandwich. Phil shuddered at the idea of eating in front of anyone.
"N-no t-thanks" Clawd shrugged and took a bite. "I told you, I just know stuff" Phil rolled his eyes. And then began to cry. Ashamed he turned away. Normally he'd hide behind his hair…No more hiding.
Clawd look sympathetic. "Hey, its ok" he reassured him. "I won't judge. I want to help you" he told him. Phil shook his head, flicking away his tears. "Really?" he asked. Why would anyone wonderfully weird like Clawd want to help him? "Because you need it" Clawd answered. "Would y-you stop doing that?!" Phil protested. He found it strange the boy knew what he was thinking. "You're one to talk about strange" Clawd said, taking another bite.