Chapter 36: "'Accept it'"

Shadow was closer to the Predacon base than he had ever been before, but he was not going to let that stop him. Tail twitching, he looked back and forth across the broken ship that sat above an active volcano. He remembered Caitlin saying something about them liking heat because of their alt forms, which were mostly bugs and reptiles. It would make this a little difficult, because he remembered that some parts of the ship were inaccessible unless you could pilot a hovercraft-thing. He was reliant on the ground. And he had no thumbs... Made typing things difficult. He knew enough about technology to use the mechanisms in the most basic way, but he would not say he understood them. Rhinox had tried to teach him, but he did not possess the patience for it.

Gaia had transformed into a white lion with one blue, one green eye. She seemed more fitted to its form than a human, but there was something unnatural and alien about her despite how much she appeared like a lion. However, to his surprise, Sam had transformed into something reptilian – and large. Almost as big as Megatron, but a lot meaner. His face was long and filled with teeth and upon his back was a fan of spikes. A dark brown with lighter stripes across his scales and yellow eyes, it made the hunter within him tremble.

Shadow did not like it, but Sam would be the distraction while he and Gaia slipped inside.

As Sam shook himself and stretched every available muscle, he lowered himself down so they were in his eyesight. "Why is the blood more important if we can't get both?"

"Because the blood carries Caitlin's DNA and it cannot be merged with the corrupted soul of her twin."

"So why not just kill the soul?"

Gaia's response was a fierce growl that made Sam step back. "Corrupted it may be, it can be healed given time. It is Caitlin's sister and you would destroy it so casually?" Sam shook himself again, but did not reply as he straightened up. Shadow could tell he had been reprimanded into silence on the matter. Gaia knew it too, because she did not speak to him again. Instead, using her tail to tell Shadow it was time for them to move.

Shadow found himself settling into a hunter's prowl, a grin on his face that was very similar to Dinobot's and an air of playfulness similar to Caitlin. He was silent and stealthy as Rattrap. Having more than two biological parents, it seemed, really paid off. He had more than one teacher to guide him through his life and with his added sentience and intelligence from having synced with Caitlin's soul and bonding with her as a mother, he was something else entirely.

And now, he was about to find out what he was capable of...

Theríon had spent millennia amongst the humans as a mythical figure – many mythical figures. From human-faced to creature, he had been a part of human history. Sometimes he had even met his own self whilst travelling through time, a pass time most Vok ventures in, given their 'speed of light' capabilities. This was not always done without... complications. As they said in the famous Harry Potter series: 'Bad things happen to wizards who meddle with time.' Oh, don't look at him like that. Out of all the things that could be invented: boredom had to be one of them. He had read many, many books over the years. It was one of the things he loved about human culture. The sheer magnitude and differences in their imaginations intrigued him.

Speaking of imaginations, Caitlin's dreamt as she lay unconscious upon a slab of metal that served as an operating table. In this case, he was gently brushing his own energy against her mind. Only in the direst of circumstances would he touch his energies with her soul. It was one of the most intimate acts a Vok could do, but if used as a medical tool, it enabled him to find out what the exact problems were. Even so, it was still used sparingly because doing so always formed a bond between doctor and patient – a bond that hurt the doctor over time. The more bonds one had, the more one's energy was spread out and that was dangerous to one's health.

You felt... everything.

Just the barest of touches into her mind revealed her consciousness. It had more than two layers. Everyone possessed more than a singular persona. Where there was light, there must be darkness. Within the soul was a constant war between 'good' and 'evil' – an old notion, but it was one of the oldest primal laws the galaxy possessed. One it would never, ever escape from. Balance must be attained. However, Caitlin was on the edge of the knife... There were at least four levels of consciousness: That which acts, that which thinks, that which feels and that which was the reaction to what happened.

'That which acts' was the part of you everyone saw. The persona people knew you by. Your everyday face.

'That which thinks' was the voice (or voices as the case may be) in your head. Your ideas came from this part. It was the part that deliberated over everything and reflected on your actions.

'That which feels' were your emotions. So, it should come to no surprise that it was the part that 'felt'. The part that could feel hate or love, sadness or joy.

'That which was the reaction to what happened' was the side that had grown and evolved from all sources of inner and outer stimuli. Memory was a part of this and it was more malleable than one would like to believe. Change even a single word or scribble a sentence out, and one's whole outlook could change. Then, there was the fact that there were at least two parts of you: the positive and the negative. Both sides were essential to one's persona, but not everyone accepted these two sides of one's self.

Caitlin's negative half, her darker self frightened her to the point she had hidden it deep within the shadows of her mind. It embodied all her rage, her pain, sadness, loneliness and hatred. It was powerful in its destructive capability, but having being left alone for so long, it was without remorse or sympathy. It was ruthless. In other words: it was the ultimate Predacon and if it were to consume her, it would destroy her. He would have to open her up to that part of herself. Not a thing to be done lightly.

As powerful as it was, it was the most fragile part of her...

"What is taking so long?!" a guttural growl came from his right, almost breaking Theríon's concentration. He glanced up from his patient to Dinobot who had not left the room, demanding to stay within eyesight. He was incredibly suspicious of him, but that had not been a surprise. Thor had been watching the raptor closely, especially ever since his Spark had been mated to Caitlin. Also to the rat he had not met yet, but he had heard Thor speak of him... unfavourably. Her bond with them had been unprecedented, especially with the young Shadow.

Another growl told him he had been thinking for too long. "Desist distracting me, unless you would prefer Caitlin remains unconscious indefinitely," he warned him once and pinned the raptor with his gaze, but he did not back down. Instead, Dinobot seemed to take it as a challenge the way he grit his teeth and settle into a stance reading himself for battle. "She extended her abilities beyond what she was ready for. It was one thing to manipulate the elements using emotions, and another to mental control one's energy to create a barrier. I am ensuring she has not damaged her mind in doing so."

It took a few moments with both staring at one another, before Dinobot stood down and sat upon a chair overlooking him.

Silence prevailed and Theríon could concentrate his energies upon Caitlin and find something interesting regarding the 'upgrades' Tarantulas had given her. The nanobytes might be working with her for now, but if given a certain signal from Tarantulas, they would debilitate her. Hmm, he would have to fix that. So, he shifted his hands and placed one over her eye and one over her arm. It took more out of him than he thought, because when he finally returned to awareness, he found himself lying face first next to his patient, who was still unconscious.

He pushed himself up and found Dinobot was checking Caitlin, his touch careful, gentle... personal.

"She just needs to rest now," he said and Dinobot's hand flinched back as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't. "As do I," he continued as if he had not seen and stood to his feet and found himself almost falling over. He had used too much energy and it was only though sheer force of will he wasn't falling over. "I will retire. You may remain here if you wish. When she awakens, just call for me and I will come."

Dinobot did not reply and Theríon made his way to his quarters, and once his head hit the pillows (marvellous human invention, the bed) he was out like a light.

Conscious dreaming was not something Caitlin had much knowledge of, though she could close her eyes and walk through her mind. That was when she was awake however, and her mind had different ideas to bring to light. When she slept, her awareness went dark and reality went away. Her mind grasped only at mist upon awakening and whatever she had dreamt left only lingering phantom feelings. It varied from fear, hate, anger, lust, love, joy and sadness. She knew she was still asleep. Somehow, she just knew it.

Question was: where was she exactly?

Opening her eyes, she found herself in a similar scene. She had not been here in a long, long time. The last time had involved a knife, a wonder why people would harm themselves to feel in control of their own pain. A piece of glass, the skin above her knee, hesitation and then determination: three slices, back and forth and blood spilled. Wonderment and then discontent. The glass is thrown in the bin, a tissue to the wound and then shame had fallen over her... losing herself, falling into shadow... a voice just like her own..

"Long time no see."

Heart thudding, Caitlin lifted her gaze to a face just like hers. As a twin, it had not been an occurrence so absurd, but this face had the exact same smirk, the same scar just above her lip, at an angle. An old wound from her toddler years. She had climbed a tree and ended up falling, a rock cutting into the skin above her lip. Almost went all the way through. Only the barest hairs-breadth scar remained. Hardly noticeable until someone looked closely at her face. Unlike her: this vision was what she had looked like before Tarantulas had given her a new eye and arm.

"You."

"Me."

Caitlin stared at her shadow as it approached, folding herself folding her arms as she recalled how her shadow had paid back Tarantulas for their loss of eye and limb. There was a reason she was afraid of her own anger. She came out and she was a force of destruction. If one were to be poetic: she was the sea. Untameable and treacherous. Wild and free. Caitlin was more... restrained in comparison. But they both shared a liking for sarcasm and often sadistic sense of humour. They were two sides of the same coin with some middle ground between them.

"What are you doing here?"

"You mean outside the hole you buried me in?" came the biting tone as her shadow cocked her head to the side and settled back on one leg. "Climbed out after you cried out for help against Tarantulas. Been hanging around since that Spark-Mating business with Rattrap and Dinobot, and the bond we made with Shadow. I like that kid," she smiled and it was soft, something akin to actual endearment in her voice. "Love is a fickle friend, it breaks and renews, but it will always mend your aching heart until that love breaks you."

"So poetically pessimistic."

"Ah-uh! Fatalistic," she amended as she folded her arms as she began to prowl closer. "We both know all good things come to an end. It's just a matter of how and when. Perhaps you should prepare yourself for that. The Maximals, especially Rattrap, are so intent on going home; they have not asked you what you want. Then again, no one ever asks you what you want. Not for a long, long time..."

Caitlin folded her arms and cocked her brow at 'Kate'. "And you're telling me what I already know, because...?"

"You may know it, but do you believe it?" Caitlin decided not to comment on that and decided to look at the scenery and found they were on an island, surrounded by water. "I wonder which element is you and which is me?" Kate wondered out loud and Caitlin looked at her other self. "Perhaps I am the fire, all consuming and destructive whilst you are the water: seemingly calm but always something going on beneath the surface. Perhaps we are both."

"You're getting philosophical and that scares me."

Kate smirked at that. "And you would admit that, wouldn't you? You rely too much on humour. Laughter isn't always going to help you, you know."

"And now you're being helpful... In a very dull way. Humour gets me through everything."

"I can be of help to you, when I need to be. When you've lost hope, I'm always there picking up the pieces."

"And forming them into something I don't like."

"We can... negotiate if you'd prefer. We cannot exist without each other, you know this." Caitlin shot her a look that made Kate sigh as if she was being the difficult one. "You may blame me for pulling the plug on Alex, but you and I both know he would have not been there. He would just be a shell of a body, lying there gathering dust. That is not living! STOP BLAMING ME!"

"YOU TOOK ME OVER AND PULLED THE PLUG!"

"YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE DOING NOTHING BUT CRYING!"

"AND THAT SURPRISED YOU?! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

"I AM YOU!"

As they fought, they did not realise their surroundings shifting and changing. Fire began to bubble beneath the water as it bubbled and churned. In the distance, thunderstorms gathered and began to grow, the winds growing louder and stronger with each of their heated words as they began to hit and kick. Kate punched Caitlin in the jaw and she responded with a kick to her chest and then launched herself forward, tackling her to the ground.

"YOU ARE NOT ME!"

"YES, I AM!"

Then, they were taken under the sea, rolling and crashing under the waves... and darkness followed. Then a hand grasped hers and she opened her eyes and saw Kate there, her lips moved.

'Accept it'.

Then, the shadows overtook her.

'I can't...'