The heat was exceptionally stifling down in her resting place. A small alcove in an alley littered with such and a few nondescript people selling wrapped pre-made food in waxed paper wrappings that would be dropped in several bins down the alley to be wiped down and reused later. That no chevalier knew of this or the half dozen places like it, was something of a joke amongst the undesirables and underworld's denizens. Because, had they but known, most of their thieves and crooks, hidden wanted for various crimes both real and imagined, would have been easy pickings. Like so much of Orlais, and society in general though, those they were avoiding simply had no idea. Here she could take a moment, breathe, and gather herself in relative anonymity as everyone's masks were put away and gray or black or brown makeshift ones with eye holes took their place.
Tavaiya leaned her head back against the wall, being careful to keep her chin down though. Just in case. The latest item she'd been sent after was snugly hidden in one of the many flaps of fabric in her attire along with the usual assortment of vials and supplies she kept with her. There was thankfully, no tremors to her hands.
Considering that she had taken several low key potions for everything from increasing her perception to helping keep her awake and no small number for effects that were verging on the edge of street magician sleight of hand it was testament to her numerous experiments in combining said potions that there were currently no ill effects. Elan had always been up for a round of test the vial mixes instead of opening a cask of ale and been more help than she could have imagined. In that way, his legacy from their hours of whittling time away was even now helping to keep her safe.
It was only mid afternoon and Tavaiya was weary down to her bones. Street food of the sort busy rogues and servants took was entirely different from what the common folk meandering in the ostentatious streets would find. Taste was entirely eschewed for function and energy. Bread that was more dense and dark and meats cut from less tasty but more nutritious parts, cheeses preferably on the softer side to help moisten the mess. Perhaps a second slightly softer bread stuffed with fruits and nuts for an immediate pick up in energy but just dry enough you needed a flask to chase it down. No one could risk spilling on their uniforms after all. It was heavy food that sat in your torso and normally Tavaiya would have never even thought to sweep one up in exchange for a few coins and gone to find something lighter but right now as she slumped in the shady corner?
Aside from checking that it truly was free of poisons the rogue couldn't have told anyone what was actually in the stuffed bread she was monotonously chewing. She just needed to replace her energy, having expended it extensively through the morning and afternoon. Fortunately seeing someone in a head scarf with holes cut for their eyes while they ate was normal amongst the servants, no one wishing to scuff their mask after all, and so eyes slipped past her form. It did make her lips tempted to curve though as she doubted many of her fellow elves here, meek and timid servants mixing with weary and just over and done with their master's latest idiosyncrasies, knew that they were sharing space with the unsavory sort. Those whom knew, just didn't care. No fighting ever happened in these alleys because they wanted to keep it from being found by the authorities so actually it was quite safe for a weary servant to find a moments respite here.
Every so often though, Tavaiya's gaze was pulled towards the ornate rooftops and she'd fight a smile remembering cajoling her lover to watch the sun rise earlier. It felt like a week ago, but it was wonderful to see that Solas could still appreciate the common spectacles of nature and let go of the immense strain that trying to aid and advise Tam and the Inquisition was putting on his shoulders. Solas was a brilliant, frighteningly capable mage unlike any other. The pieces to a puzzle scattered about her senses suggested he was far more so than she was aware, but Tavaiya was content to keep the blindfold on for now.
It wasn't as if she couldn't tell he had his secrets. They'd almost come between them more times than she could count and if the only way she could get her stubborn paramour to accept what they had while they had it was to consciously turn her thoughts away from the inconsistent information she had, she would.
Swallowing hard in a way that had nothing to do with the meal she'd just forced down Tavaiya bit back a bitter chuckle. They'd not even been apart that long and she found her thoughts straying back to him. She had it terrible with this level of infatuation. Closing her eyes for just a moment, Tavaiya could admit it.
She was madly in love with a man she knew with all her senses, that dazzled her other abilities in every way, spoke and thought in ways that entranced her, and was a complete stranger at the same time.
Perhaps the most concerning part of it all was that she was entirely all right with that.
Another deep breath and she finally shoved herself back out of the alcove she'd hidden herself in. Once she turned in this little trinket she was done for now. By doing so many tasks in broad daylight where most waited for the relative safety of the evening it had been many times more effective for circulating her name and reputation again. The lack of accepting payment was not as innocent as it would seem to someone unused to Orlais either. That meant she was collecting 'favors', debts to be repaid in the future where being able to hold onto them was a currency all it's own. Tavaiya shook her head as once more she felt a longing for the days when she'd flounce in to harass Elan about bringing her to this strange place with games and politics more complicated when people argued over what they'd have for breakfast than many a nation would have over their armed treaties! It had been good for them, for her.
The pain in her heart still there and bleeding as it always would doubtlessly for Tavaiya loved fiercely without reservation, and she knew that if the fluttering of butterfly wings along her senses had over the years branded her so truly..well it was no wonder that the mages making up the inquisition were some of the most powerful she'd met. In far more than just skill, will, drive, compassion. They were all around simply legends waiting to be told.
For just a heart beat Tavaiya perched on the roof, the wind blowing as she set her mask back in place and wondered. If not for Solas constantly drawing her attention and keeping her returning even if just to play their games, whom would she have followed? As much as she loved Damian she was meant to be feathered outside of Antiva and would have never flourished in such a place. Tam needed her but not so much now that Dorian completed him, theirs was a relationship that many should strive to. Healthy, supportive, understanding.
Vivian. Familiar to her, and Tavaiya could only be amazed at the woman's strength of will. Her pride in the circle's when they worked, her grace and wit. The woman intimidated many and yes, from Tam and Solas she could understand even more the uproar many had like her mother and Elan over mages being locked away. But from those she had battled alongside and for the Inquisition in areas that the Nightingale would send her because Tam was too naïve still to accept what had to be done? Tavaiya could not say that Vivian was entirely wrong. Many a mage turned to a sort of scorched earth template when their backs were against a wall and did not care any longer if they killed or took out the innocents.
Tavaiya did not think Vivian and the circles were right, but she could not argue for the Templar's either. The first she'd met outside of Alistair to be honorable people more concerned with the right thing than the Maker's Dogma were Cullen and Cassandra.
There was no good answer. Without Elan she was adrift, except Solas had drawn her attention from the first evening in Haven after the conclave exploded. Continued to, their games twisting and spiraling and before she had known to even consider another option, Tavaiya had felt the need to claim the elusive and admittedly prickly apostate's attention for herself.
'Come with me.' He'd urged that morning when she had to leave, the tone, the low insistent growl to his voice had wreaked havoc on her at any point she was not actively working since. Licking her lips Tavaiya frowned only briefly before making her decision. She could not simply let Solas out of her life but she was going to make him work to convince her to follow whenever he finally left. That he was even planning for it though, without a word to anyone perhaps save herself meant the mage who knew the most about the anchor, the rifts, the artifact that Corypheus had? He saw this ending soon enough to make plans for later.
Oddly she did not find that a comfort.