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This chapter broaches the fact that college is on the horizon...

Chapter 36

'Oh how surprising, you two entangled on the couch again. You do have a room you know Pace,' Gretchen rolled her eyes but her tone was teasing and good natured rather than pissed.

'Sorry Gretchen,' Joey mumbled tugging at her clothes to ensure they were all in place and pushing Pacey away somewhat.

'Oh it's ok. You're both wearing all your clothes this time and I'm not being faced with any of Pacey's nakedness, so really it's all good.'

'In our defence you were apparently staying in Boston with Dawson that night,' Pacey jumped up from the couch and moved into the kitchen with his sister picking up a glass and holding it up to Joey who nodded.

'Well apparently my boyfriend doesn't have the same urge for alone time that you two have,' Gretchen muttered under her breath.

'Ok, so firstly the thought of you and Dawson having alone time is just...Mmm...yuck. Secondly, if you insist upon dating my best friend, the one both Jo and I are trying to rekindle some sort of friendship with, well you can't expect me to like any comment on the status of your sex life.'

'We don't have a sex life Pace, that's the truth,' Gretchen grinned at the way Pacey winced slightly at the words "sex life."

'Well I for one am glad,' he stated grandly as he filled two glasses with water and put them on the coffee table before flopping back beside Joey.

'You shouldn't be glad,' Joey nudged his shoulder. 'Dawson could do worse than your sister and your sister could do worse than Dawson.'

'I still find it surprising, but comforting, that you are entirely ok with this,' he stared at her.

'I still find it surprising that you're not,' she smirked.

'It's my sister,' he gestured to Gretchen who was still standing in the kitchen but was smiling at Joey, who was rolling her eyes at Pacey. 'My bitingly sarcastic, cynical sister...'

'Who are you more worried about in this scenario, me or Dawson?' Gretchen scoffed, 'because I assure you that my cynicism can deal with his eternal optimism.'

'That's why they work,' Joey put in,

'I don't understand,' Pacey took a long sip of his water.

'What attracts us to Dawson is what attracts Gretchen to him.'

'Exactly Joey,' Gretchen flopped down next to Joey on the couch, pushing her closer to Pacey. She curled into him and snuck a hand up his t-shirt and squeezed the flat warmth of his stomach.

'You know Jo, Gretch made a great point - I have a room here...shall we...'

'No Pacey,' Joey chided. 'We can't just disappear off the whole time to your room...it looks crass.'

'Crass?' he turned to her half offended. 'Crass? Wanting to be alone isn't crass it's normal.'

'My brother makes a point which is why I'm beginning to have second thoughts about Dawson and I. I understand he's going through a lot with Mr Brooke's and everything but really, between us, I need a little more.'

'So take him out,' Joey suggested. 'Why don't we all go on a double date together tonight, give him a bit of moral support and then we'll make a subtle exit...'

'Sorry Joey,' Gretchen burst out laughing, 'but no exit you and my brother make is all that subtle, what with your hands everywhere and that ridiculously loved up look in your eye...'

'Well fine,' Joey blushed, 'we'll make a less than subtle exit and go to the boat, that way you guys can have the house.'

'And that's not crass?' Pacey all but burst out, 'freeing up the house so my sister can make out...or God...worse with Dawson?'

'With her boyfriend,' Joey clarified patting his cheek dismissively.

'You guys would do that?' Gretchen asked.

'Of course we would,' Joey said at the same time as Pacey muttered,

'Kill me now.'

'Thanks little bro,' Gretchen kicked his leg under Joeys which were perched on the coffee table.

'Any time,' he kicked back.

'Crass!' Pacey stated yet again staring at her.

'Pace, you know what I meant,' she rolled her eyes dismissively.

'But crass? Wanting to be close all the time doesn't make us crass.'

'Well what does it make us?' she asked pointedly, 'I mean what's the word you would use to describe the fact that we're constantly disappearing to your bedroom, my bedroom, the boat, the boiler room and everywhere else for sex?'

'I'd say...it makes us in love,' he smiled widely but she just laughed,

'The in love bit doesn't have constant sex as a prerequisite.'

'No, but it doesn't hurt,' he stepped up close and pressed his lips to her neck.

'I think crass is a nice term compared to what I could have said.'

'What could you have said?' he trailed kisses down to her shoulder, before sucking softly on the pulse point on her neck and then nipping her ear lobe.

'Horny...' she angled her neck.

'Not embarrassed about that - look at you,' he slid his fingers under her t-shirt.

'Lust-addled,' she offered up us his hands smoothed up her sides.

'Hmmm, again that's true and doesn't intimate something wrong with it the way crass does...'

'You're a doofus Pace,' her voice had become breathy as she stepped closer to him.

'Why?' she felt his smile against her neck.

'It's only crass if we sneak out the second anyone comes in a room we previously had to ourselves...'

'Ok, I concede your point,' he pushed his hands down the back of her jeans and panties and onto her bare ass, whereupon he squeezed her butt cheeks.

'You concede my point?' she arched a brow.

'It may be crass but sometimes I don't care. I relish the act of being crass.'

'Really?' she laughed as he rather clumsily pushed them onto the bed, Joey falling onto the mattress and him landing on top of her, his lips finding hers in a heated kiss.

'Hmm,' he moaned. At the banging on the door they continued kissing,

'Dawson is here guys, so remove your lips from her ass Pace and get out here,' Gretchen yelled through the door.

'My lips are on hers Gretch,' Pacey yelled back.

'Moot point,' she bashed again, 'we're going now.'

'Come on Pace,' Joey pressed a quick kiss to his lips, but he immediately deepened it.

'Now,' Gretchen had opened the door and several balled socks landed on them. The two of them broke apart and looked to the door where both Gretchen and Dawson were stood smirking,

'I told you you need ammunition,' Dawson said smugly, though he didn't make eye contact with Joey. Joey had observed that he didn't really look at her much any more. It hurt because he was once her best friend and she hated that falling in love had cost her that. The truth was that with Pacey, she didn't need Dawson quite as she once had but that didn't mean she didn't need him at all. Both she and Pacey needed his optimism just as he'd always needed their cynicism.

'Come on you two,' Gretchen threw one last balled up pair of socks which hit Pacey on the forehead and Joey laughed spontaneously.

'Ok, ok, way to kill the mood Gretch,' he muttered climbing off Joey and the bed.

'My pleasure,' Gretchen smirked as Pacey held out a hand to Joey and they all left.

'You know Gretch, I didn't think we'd double date until we were in our late twenties, and certainly not with these two,' he nodded to his girlfriend and her boyfriend.

'Pacey, knowing you as an eight year old boy I didn't think we'd ever double date because I didn't think you'd ever have a girlfriend.'

'He was cute when he was eight,' Joey defended.

'Clearly you don't remember the bogey eating,' Gretchen shook her head dramatically.

'Well at least he wasn't a farter like your boyfriend,' Joey teased, thrilled by Dawson's dark red blush,

'Thanking you for that Joey,' Dawson muttered, but he had a smile, especially when Gretchen laughed,

'Oh my god, you two must have been delightful. Why did you hang around with them Joey?'

'I think mainly because they were the only two kids who'd hang around with me,' Joey stated with a dismissive shrug of her shoulders.

'Hey,' both Pacey and Dawson protested in sync.

'They both have some redeeming qualities I suppose,' she conceded with a trademark eye roll.

'We're all well aware of the redeeming qualities my brother seems to have in your eyes,' Gretchen said with heavy insinuation.

'I love him for more that just that. I mean he's sweet and loyal and funny and smart and a complete heart on his sleeve, happy go lucky, underdog,' Joey waxed and then hid her face.

'Awww I love you too,' Pacey patted her head, a huge grin on his face.

'I'm glad Pacey has found someone who appreciates him for being the unique creature that he is,' Gretchen said and Dawson laughed,

'But we do have to wonder how you'll both cope if college manages to separate you,' Dawson asked kindly.

'Ah, well you see my friend there will be no separation. I go where she goes,' Pacey said simply.

'It's not that simple,' Joey protested.

'It is,' Pacey insisted.

'What if you get financial aid from a New York school and I get financial aid from Boston? We aren't exactly in a position to refuse aid,' she frowned.

'I've told you before Jo, I only want to be with you.'

'Joey's right,' Dawson stated surprising them both. 'Pacey you deserve to go somewhere great. You can't give that up if Joey wants to go somewhere different.'

'I'm not planning on giving up anything. I'd pay to stay near her.'

'That's crazy. I know you love each other but this is high school. College is the rest of your life.'

'And would that be true if she was your girlfriend? The soulmate?' Pacey asked and Dawson rolled his eyes,

'Yes it would. You have both worked so hard and you both deserve to go somewhere great but the chances of the same city offering you both the financial aid you need, let alone the same institution are few and far between.'

'Why are we talking about this?' Joey asked, 'nothing says a fun evening like talking about the impending separation and destruction of all we hold dear.'

'I'm not trying to be a cynic,' Dawson stated carefully. 'Just a realist.'

'And since when has realism been your thing? I thought it was optimism,' Joey asked.

'I stopped being the optimist a while ago. Not everything turns out the way we expect - it's not necessarily worse or better, just different,' Dawson shrugged.

'Whatever the realities, whatever we both deserve, I don't think I could be a success without this girl and I really don't care to be where she isn't. Financial aid means nothing if I can't study, and I need Joey for that. I need her for everything really,' he took her hand under the table.

'As someone older and wiser, who's taken a bit of a beating at the hands of life, I'd say that I think my little brother is right. Being happy is more important than being rich. That said I think you're young. You guys may be crazy in love but there are a lot of experiences and people out there. You shouldn't limit your experiences for each other,' Gretchen stated.

'Why does it feel like everyone is suggesting we break up?' Pacey asked, his brow furrowed.

'Oh I'm not. You aught to hang onto that girl until you're old and grey,' Gretchen stated, 'I just think you aren't really considering how much of an impact new experiences and people can have. Boys will try it on with her. Constantly. You're my brother so you're quite frankly not my type, but I imagine all six foot three of you will appeal to the odd girl or two.'

'I'm not interested in other girls,' Pacey's frown grew.

'They're not coming onto you right now. You're here, always attached to your girlfriend but at college it's different. Bigger campus, bigger classes. It's not common knowledge if someone has a significant other. You can't be permanently attached. Joey's studying English, you're doing pre law. Aside from prerequisites you're not in contact.'

'I don't like this conversation,' Joey stated. 'We don't even know where we're going yet. We haven't heard from anywhere and when we do we can worry. Besides which, just because someone comes onto us doesn't mean we have to do anything with that.'

'But what if you want to?' Gretchen was apparently enjoying her role as Devils advocate.

'Why would we want to?' Pacey asked confused.

'Because it's exciting, because sex with a new person is interesting. Because of the opportunity.'

'I think you have a very jaded view of the world,' Pacey glared at his sister.

'Really,' she laughed slightly sarcastically.

'Sex with Joey is exciting. Sex is interesting and I have opportunity to be new and creative with her. It's also close and intimate, and it's always, always good. I know she's mine. She knows I'm hers. What do I want sex with a stranger for? I don't think I could love anyone more so really, what do I care if some girl comes onto me? She might be pretty, or even funny, clever, witty, but she isn't Joey so I'm not interested.'

'You know how to say the right thing Pace,' Joey said simply but squeezed his hand hard and shot him a look heaped with affection.

'I think you're both being naive.'

'And what do you think Dawson?' Joey asked.

'I think...' he looked between the three of them, 'I understand where Pacey is coming from, I do. You guys are very, very together. You're each other's best friends, you're everything to each other. But sometimes someone else can come to mean the same and then it's all over. Almost in an instant,' he looked down at the table and Joey realized he was talking about them. That once she'd been everything to him and for a while she'd thought he was everything to her, but then Pacey waltzed into the picture and really she hadn't wanted Dawson any longer, and all she'd felt for him evaporated and was replaced with deep, deep love for Pacey. She really didn't have anything to say.

'I think we should go Pace,' she stood up fighting back tears and left, sensing Pacey at her back.

They walked in silence through the dark, rainy night, Pacey's arm around her shoulders.

'Can we have a drink tonight?' she asked as they neared the boat. 'I really, really want to open that bottle of wine we have, the one we picked up in South Carolina but lost and then found. I know if I get drunk you won't have sex but I really need to get drunk.'

'We don't have to always have sex Joey, and if you're upset you can talk to me, rather than drinking. Remember the whole drinking doesn't solve our problems thing?'

'I don't think we have the problem,' she admitted, 'I hate everyone telling us we can't stay together, we won't stay together, we're naive, things change... I hate that they're right.'

'Huh?'

'Dawson was talking about us. About he and I and how we used to be so sure of our friendship, of how we felt and then you wormed your way into my heart and everything changed.'

'Did it?' he asked. 'Did it change that day our hug evolved, or was it that day I came to warn you about your dad when we were twelve? I mean maybe I've always been in your heart. Maybe I always will be. Maybe I was there first and Dawson was the passing fancy.'

'That might all be true but they're all right. We probably won't make it. Most high school romances die a dismal death as one or the other person cheats - emotionally or physically.'

'I would never cheat on you,' Pacey stated vehemently.

'And I wouldn't cheat on you, but the thing is Pace, what if you want to? What if there's a girl, and she's funny, and quirky, interesting, pretty and sexy and new...exciting and different to me and you wonder? You don't have to cheat for it to be over, you just have to want to cheat enough that you end it.'

'I can't promise to never look at another girl. You can't promise a guy is never gonna cross your path. I mean you, you're gorgeous, and me, well I guess I'll do. You're right that there will be temptation, but so what. That's life. I love you. The thought of you gives me butterflies and I get all excited at the thought of seeing you. Sometimes when you kiss me I have to catch my breath because I can't actually believe it's real, that I got that lucky. So I might look at another girl and she might be funny and quirky, interesting, pretty, sexy and new, but she won't be you.'

'I really hope we get into the same place,' she pressed her head to his.

'Well we'll hear soon,' he squeezed her hand.

'Can we still get drunk, be young and stupid and at least fool around?' she asked.

'We'll fool around during your first glass, but on your second we talk.'

'Fine,' she rolled her eyes as they climbed on board.

'I love you Joey. Don't doubt how much.'

'I love you too,' she murmured and kissed him. 'Now switch the heater on and find the wine. I'll be waiting in bed naked.'

'Deal,' he grinned.

Joey opened her eyes reluctantly. She didn't want to be awake but she was and her head hurt, her mouth tasted like smelly socks and she needed to pee.

'Morning sleepy head,' Pacey smiled at her looking every bit his chipper self.

'Mmm,' she mumbled and rolled away from him and out if bed before heading to the boat toilet, peeing and then brushing her teeth. She stared at her reflection and realized she didn't look quite as bad as she felt. Returning to bed she glared at Pacey,

'How come you don't seem to feel as bad as I do?'

'You had two glasses of wine and then stole my second when I went to the bathroom.'

'Ugh, I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. You were hysterical. Cute and funny and you,' he said easily.

'I seem to remember trying to convince you to sleep with me,' she moaned into her pillow before looking at him.

'I had a great time,' he grinned widely and patted her duvet covered behind.

'But you didn't give in,' she pouted.

'Nope,' he popped the p.

'I'm proud of you Pace, I'm pretty sure I was very insisted.'

'Oh you were utterly gorgeous frauline. I was a wreak. You completely tested all my powers of good boyfriendness, but then you were sick and it was easier...'

'Because I'm so disgusting,' she pouted yet again,

'No because it proved how entirely intoxicated you were and how incredibly wrong it would be to have sex when you were probably mostly unaware. You're always gorgeous. You also fell asleep,' he grinned and got out of bed.

'Where are you going?' she asked in a pathetically forlorn voice, so pitiful he laughed again,

'To get you some tablets for your head, a cup of coffee and some toast.'

'Oh I love you,' she re snuggled under the covers until he returned. 'I'm sorry I got so drunk,' she nibbled her toast and slurped her coffee.

'You seemed to need a release of some kind,' he looked at her and she knew he wanted something of an explanation.

'The thing is Pace, I'm a cynic. You know that and I know that. We've never really believed that good things will happen, that our hard work will pay off, anything really. So why do we get to be optimistic about us? We're so sure everything will be ok, and what if Dawson and Gretchen are right? What if everyone is thinking how stupid we are to think we'll stay together?'

'Since when have you and I cared much about what everyone else thinks?' he offered but she frowned.

'We've always acted like we don't care but we do,' she said and he nodded,

'Ok. Fine, we do care, but let's just prove them all wrong.'

'What if they're not wrong?' she asked putting down her coffee and toast plate beside the bed and looking at him.

'I know they are,' he told her simply, pulling her against his chest.

'But there are girls who are prettier than me, less irritating, more light hearted...I mean you could do better Pace,' she looked up at him and brushed a thumb across his cheek bone, surprised to find him laughing,

'No I couldn't,' he shook his head. 'Really Joey, you have no idea. Even when we're fighting, or disagreeing, or you're in a mood that I just don't understand, I want you and no one else.'

'Good,' she twisted in his arms until she could press her lips to his.

'I say we ignore everyone and just concentrate on us,' he kissed her gently.

'I'm good with that,' she stared at him, feeling her insides twist pleasantly at the look in his eyes. 'Pace...'

'Yeah?' his voice was deep with a husky quality that went straight between her legs,

'Wasn't I naked last night?'

'I thought you'd...um...be more comfy in a pair of boxers and my t-shirt,' he offered as she straddled his lap, elated at the fact that from the simple look they'd shared he was hard for her.

'Not really,' she peeled off the t-shirt feeling his hands on her waist, trailing up behind the hem of the t-shirt until they were wrapping around her breasts. She'd always thought they were too small but Pacey made them feel just right, especially when he wrapped his lips around her right nipple causing her body to shift on his hard cock, which felt amazing, though there were definitely still too many clothes between them. 'Take off your clothes Pace,' she growled, but he just shook his head, creating a soft tug on her chest, his morning stubble rubbing against the sensitive skin and causing her insides to swoop. 'Take them off Pace,' she hissed and tugged at his t-shirt pulling it all the way up until he had no choice but to help her remove it. 'Boxers to,' she swung herself off him and pushed off the boxers she was wearing. 'Feel,' she took his hand and pushed it between her legs, sighing as his fingers pushed inside of her, his thumb brushing determinedly up her clit.

'You're so wet,' he groaned.

'Hmm,' she pushed his hand away, loving his grunt of protest, but she was pushing him back, and climbing on top of him. She took hold of his cock and rubbed her hand up and down his length, brushing her thumb over the tip, and the she used her hand to brush it along the wetness that ached for him.

'Joey,' his fierce growl turned her on and she released her hand and sank down onto him. 'Oh fuck baby,' his hands ran down her back and to her ass, then he sunk his hand lower to feel where they were connected, but only for a second as she rocked her body on top of him, pushing down hard and fast repeatedly until her orgasm rolled through her. Blissful and ecstatic she pressed her lips to his and then rolled them over, so he could push into her body. Despite her lead of hard and fast Pacey apparently wanted to go slow, and traditional, moving between her legs in the missionary position, pushing in deeply and out slowly, his body rubbing against her clit until her body began to build again, and her legs were wrapped around him. Without warning he pushed himself onto his knees dragging her with him so that she was fully upright, her legs around his waist, his hands firmly on her hips and ass, driving her up and down on his cock, until her body exploded, traitorously before his, but a beautiful feeling that extended from where they were joined to the tips of her toes and fingers. As she moaned his hips bucked and his hands helped her rock until he was crying out and pulling her firmly onto him, so he was fully embedded inside of her as he came. 'Fuck,' he whispered into the skin of her neck, his breathing ragged. He lay her back on the bed, lying on top of her and still inside of her.

'If you'd only given in we could have done that last night,' she murmured sleepily.

'But then I'd have missed out on...' he lowered his head and whispered in her ear clearly delighted with her blush. 'And...' he whispered again. 'And you weren't even drunk at that point. The serenading was gorgeous, and the attempted striptease when you were already naked...'

'Oh shut up.'

'You love me,' he grinned.

'You bug me,' she clarified, the lines well used but apt.