ATS-Missions
To make up for being gone so long I have posted three chapters. Hope ya'll have enjoyed them.
Jazz and Prowl were true to their word and spoke with Optimus about periodically letting me have time outside so that I don't feel like I'm a prisoner. He was reluctant, but eventually agreed. He had apologized for making me feel like I was a prisoner, but I reassured him that I did understand why he did it.
The Autobots and NEST personnel are still helping humanity with various conflicts around the globe. Bumblebee has actually come back to stay with the Autobots so he can assist with missions. He's happy to be back with his team I can tell. It's good to be able to see him again. I missed him while he was with Sam. A team of Autobots are currently in the Middle East working on resolving some issues over there, while others are at Chernobyl, which I was jealous over. I was always fascinated by the history of that place and I would have loved to have gone...I would have loved to have gone anywhere actually. I'm still not allowed to go on missions with the others.
I'm feeling conflicted because half of me wants to help the Autobots on their missions, but the other half of me wants to stay as far from any conflict as possible. Before meeting the Autobots I've never been in a major fight much less a war, so the idea of actually fighting frightens me.
I now really understand why Optimus won't let me go on missions. He knows I'm not ready. I honestly don't feel ready and don't know if I ever will. I told this to Optimus as well as Prowl and Jazz. All three were glad to hear it and all stated they feel better with me being on base anyway.
I'm never by myself. There are plenty of human personnel at HQ, and Ratchet and Jolt hardly ever leave the base. They will sometimes go with the others if they feel medical will be needed, but more times than not they are here.
There have been some other changes going on outside of base as well. Mom got a promotion at work after going back to school to get her degree in business administration. I am very proud of her and tell her every time we are able to Skype. She's always asking how I'm doing and everything. Most of the time I tell her I'm fine...even though I'm always not.
Sam has graduated college...that one was hard to swallow when I received the invitation in the mail. It was a sweet gesture, but it hurt. It just served as another reminder of what I have lost. In order to not make him feel bad I had Lennox write a congratulations card for me.
Jazz had seen me upset after that and after telling him what was wrong took me to the Autobot rec room and the two of us watched a few funny movies. He did his best cheering me up and it worked for a while, but it still hurt thinking about Sam graduating.
Mikaela's dads probation is over and he and Mikaela have opened a new shop. They are doing what they love and are doing really well. The shop brings in good money since they do both the mechanic side of it and the body work part of it. Mikaela has no interest in going to school and I don't blame her when she's already doing what she loves. She's even told me about a job offer she received to work on vehicles belonging to a man named Dylan Gould.
Apparently he's car broke down by their shop one day and she did such an awesome job he offered her a job. She said he even offered to pay her very well. She said after talking it over with her dad she decided to take the job. She still works in her dads shop when she's not busy at her bosses business. I'm proud of her.
Sam has been out of school for about three months now, but hasn't been able to find a job. He's been trying, but no such luck yet. When I'm allowed to Skype them as well I tell him to keep his chin up and keep at it and eventually the right job will come along. He's impatient but nods to what I say anyway.
I'm currently in the med bay keeping Ratchet and Jolt company. "Do you think everything is going alright?" I ask regarding the Autobots.
"I'm sure their fine. They are good at what they do. They'll be back when their missions are complete." Ratchet reassures.
"Worry not Guardian." Jolt adds.
"Jolt, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Evangeline." I say jokingly.
"Once a day at least." He replies back just as jokingly.
"Has Samuel found employment yet?" Ratchet asks.
"Not yet. I talked to him two days ago and he said he was getting frustrated. He kept saying that you'd think helping to save the world twice and a medal from the president would give him an advantage." I say.
"He'll get there. The right career will come along. He just has to be patient." Ratchet answers.
"I think he's more frustrated with the fact that Mikaela has two jobs while he's struggling to find one." I comment.
"He is a male seeking to provide for his mate. Perfectly understandable." Ratchet states.
Ratchet pauses to answer a com he's getting. When he's done I ask, "Is it time for me to get one yet?"
"I suppose I can begin setting one up for you. I haven't yet due to you remaining inside the base." He says.
"No rush. I just figured I could probably handle it now that I've gotten more used to my new form." I comment.
"Your right. We will aim to complete it this week, and I will go over it with you and show you how to work it." Ratchet explains
"Thanks Ratch."
"Your welcome. Now, let's get to the hanger. The others are back." He says.
"Ok." We make our way back to the hanger where everyone has gathered. I immediately walk up to Jazz. "Hey Jazz."
"Hey darlin'." He says tiredly but still lovingly.
"What's wrong?"
"Just found out dat da humans haven't been completely honest with us." HE replies.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Basically they've been withholding information." Sides interrupts.
"Oh, what kind of information exactly?" I ask.
"Cybertronian tech." Sunny adds.
"Oh...say, um-is Optimus okay?" I ask glancing in his direction where he has yet to come out of alt mode.
"Sorta. Why do ya ask?" Jazz asks.
"I can practically feel the tension rolling off of him." I reply. "Plus he hasn't gotten out of alt mode yet."
"Don't you worry youngling. He's just being pouty." Ironhide says.
"Optimus doesn't seem the type to pout." I say jokingly.
"Oh, believe me he can. He's just good at hiding it. Ratchet says.
"Did everything go alright today at least?" I ask everyone.
"Our did." Sideswipe answers. "We showed those humans what for."
"Those insects didn't stand a chance." Sunny adds.
"That's good. None of you got hurt did you?" I ask.
"We are all perfectly fine Bella. No need to worry yourself over us." Mirage reassures.
"I'm gonna worry regardless. I'm glad you guys are alright." I reply. I turn my attention to Jazz. "So besides the information fiasco how'd y'alls mission go?"
"It was rough honestly. Someone I was really hopin' didn't still exist showed up and made a mess of things." He replies.
"Who?"
"His name is Shockwave and he's a demented piece of slag." Ironhide states.
"He's a scientist who lacks a moral center of any sort." Ratchet adds.
"So kinda like Starscream but smart?" I guess.
The group around me chuckles at that. "Pretty much. Just more loyal to Megatron than Starscream, and a lot less talkative." Chromia replies. "But don't you worrry about him. We won't let ya anywhere near him."
"I just nod my head showing her I understand what she's saying.
Pretty soon everyone is doing their own separate thing. Ironhide and Chromia are with Que. He is showing them some new weapons he came up with. Bumblebee is with some of the NEST soldiers training the new recruits on how to take down a Decepticon. Optimus still hasn't transformed out of alt mode yet, so I'm left wondering what was so bad that it got him acting this way.
Soon Director Mearing and her crew are coming into the hanger being lead by Lennox. Mearing is talking on her phone as she comes in. Her assistant took out a pair of shoes from one of the multiple bags she's having to carry and Mearing changes into them.
Que continues fixing Ironhide and Chromia up with some weapons when he notices Mearing walking by. "Oh good your here! Me names Que. I do hope you have answers for him. I've never seen him so upset before." He says regarding Optimus.
"Optimus, you remember Charlotte Mearing? Our Director of National Intellegence?" Lennox asks Optimus as he and Mearing's crew walk up the platform in front of where Optimus is parked.
At a lack of response Mirage says, "He's in a bad mood. He is not speaking with anyone today."
"So what is this, the silent treatment?" Mearing asks sarcastically.
"We've seen that and this is not that." Ironhide says.
"Definitely not." Que adds.
Ironhide walks up to Optimus. "This is worse. Prime, make something of yourself!" He bangs on the roof of his alt mode." He's p*****."
This prompts Optimus to break out into the most angry looking transformation I've ever seen anyone do. He slams into a crouch in front of Mearing, glaring down at her. "You lied to us. Everything humans know of our planet we were told had all been shared. So why was this found in human possession." Optimus asking angrily while indicating towards what must be the Cybertronian tech the others mentioned.
"We were in the dark about this also. It was director only clearance at Sector Seven until now. The bag." The last part she says to her assistant, as if the poor women is supposed to know which bag it is.
"Which bag?" She whispers helplessly.
"Hermes. Bircin. Green Ostrich!" Mearing hisses back.
The aid provides her with the proper bag and pulls something out of it. "This is a secret few men know, and fewer still remain alive. Allow me to introduce to you two of NASA's founding mission directors and astronaut, Dr. Buzz Aldrin, one of the first two men to step foot on the moon. Sir? Optimus Prime." Mearing introduces the two.
"From a fellow space traveler, its a true honor." Aldrin says in amazement.
"Our entire space race of the 1960's, it appears, was in response to an event." Mearing states.
One of the NASA officers adds, "Our astronauts investigated a crashed alien ship. No survivors found."
"We were sworn to secrecy by our commander in chief." Aldrin says.
"A total of thirty-five people knew the real plan at NASA." One of the officers says.
"Soviets managed to land unmanned probes. Somehow they must have...picked up that fuel rod." Another one says.
"We believe the Russians deduced that the rod was a fissionable fuel assembly, believed they had it mastered and tried to harness it at Chernobyl." Mearing explains.
"We landed six missions in all. We took hundreds of photos and samples. We locked them away forever when the moon program was shut down." An officer says.
"Well, did you search the crash vault?" Ironhide asks.
The silence that follows is answer enough.
"The ships name was the Ark. I watched it escape Cybertron myself. It was carrying an Autobot technology which would have won us the war and...its captain." Optimus explains.
"Who was its captain?" Mearing asks.
"The great Sentinel Prime. The technologies inventor. He was commander of the Autobots before me. It's imperative that I find it before the Decepticons learn of its location. Our Autobot spacecraft has the ability to get there. And...you must pray its in time." Optimus says turning very serious at the end.
"Alright. If its as serious as you say it is then I'd recommend leaving as soon as possible." Mearing replies.
Optimus turns his attention to Ratchet. "Ratchet, I may require your assistance." He then turns to Prowl. "Prowl, I shall also require your aid."
"Yes sir." Prowl answers.
"Let us take our leave." Optimus announces.
"Be careful." I call out.
All three mechs nod their heads at me. "We shall return swiftly."
"Sop Nizawnong 'eylan" (safe travels friends). I say in the Allspark language.
"Thank you Guardian." Prowl says, getting the gist of what I'm saying.
With that their on the way to the Xanthium. "What'd ya tell em?" Jazz asks.
"I told them to travel safe. The moons a long way to go. I'll hope they'll be alright." I reply.
"Don't worry sweet long. They'll be alright with that ship. It wont take that long to get there and back." Chromia reassures.
"Ok." I reply.
"Ya okay darlin'?" Jazz asks noticing my thoughtful look.
"Yeah, I just-I've got an uneasy feeling." I reply.
"Uneasy? 'Bout what?" Jazz asks.
I shrug. "I don't know. It's probably nothing. I seem to stay uneasy most of the time. I'm sure it'll pass."
"Sweetinling, you need to tell us if something is wrong, so we can help you." Chromia reassures.
"I know, but I honestly don't know whats making me feel this way."I reply.
"Is it perhaps something to do with the Allspark?" Mirage asks.
"Maybe. I don't know." I reply.
"Don't worry about it darlin'. I'm sure it's nothin'." Jazz reassures.
After everyone reassures me everything's alright everyone is back to going their own thing until Optimus comes back. I have Bee come with me to the training hanger since Jazz has some things he has to do. We chat while Bee helps me with some techniques. We end up talking about Sam and Mikaela. He whirs sadly after saying he missed them.
"Yeah. I miss them too Bee. I miss a lot of things." I reply sadly.
"There's no place like home." Bee's radio plays.
I nod. "Yeah, but I really miss my mom. I haven't seen her in person in a while. It's been hard Bee."
Bee pulls me into a comforting hug. "So sorry-for the-way-things are."
"Me too Bee, but at least your back with the Autobots. I missed ya." I say.
"Oh shucks-I missed-you too." He replies.
Suddenly we hear a commotion going on in the hallway. We walk out and see soldiers running towards the main hanger. We follow the crowd and once in the main hanger. I spot Lennox on one of the platforms. "Lennox, what's going on?"
"Apparently, there's a commotion going on outside. One of the guards says someone's trying to get in." He replies.
Suddenly we hear a familiar voice over the radio. "Bee! Is Bee in there?!"
"Sam?!" I exclaim in shock. "Bee, go help him!"
Bee nods and quickly drives to the main gate.
"What's Sam doing here?" I ask.
"I don't know, but he sounded frantic." Lennox replies.
"He always sounds that way."
"Well, Mearing's not gonna like this." He states.
"No kidding. I don't suppose you've heard from Optimus?" I ask.
"Yeah actually. Their almost back, along with that Sentinel guy." He replies.
"Good."
Sure enough Optimus, Ratchet, and Prowl are back and Lennox goes to see about Sam. I notice the unconscious mech they brought in. He looks to be the size of Optimus and is predominantly red. He also has these cable/wire things dangling from his chin and above his lips-which makes it look like a beard and mustache. It also gives him an older guy look. I'd say around a grandpa's age. They lay him on a slanted berth so he isn't lying flat, but not straight up wither. All Autobots and most of the NEST soldiers are in the hanger, waiting to see what's going to happen with Sentinel.
"Sentinel Prime. These guys run on energon, and he's out of it. He's in a…sort of a sleep mode." I hear Lennox say from one of the platforms.
I look in his direction and see him standing with Mearing, as well as Sam and Mikaela. "Sam? Mikaela?" I ask walking up to them.
"Hey Angel!"
"Long time no see huh?" Sam says.
"Yeah, no kidding." I say.
"You look good." Mikaela comments with a smile.
"Thanks. You too, as always. So, what brings you guys here?" I ask.
"The Decepticons. They're back and something big is going on. I told the guards outside I needed to tell Optimus that, but they were being douches." Sam explains.
"How do you know the Decepticons are up to something?" I ask.
"A man at work told me. He knew a lot about it too. It was too detailed for him to be making it up." Sam replies.
"At work? You got a job? That's wonderful!" I exclaim.
Sam's look turns very dry at that. "it's nothing to get excited for. I work in the mail room."
"Well you have to start somewhere. Work hard and you can move your way up." I encourage.
"Well after helping save the world twice you'd think I'd be doing something more important, like working with the Autobots." Sam says.
"Well maybe at some point you can." I suggest.
"I don't want some point. I want now." He huffs.
"Sometimes you just have to be patient." I reassure.
"I've told him that multiple times." Mikaela says in aggravation, which suggests she has indeed told him this multiple times.
Sam ignores her and answers me. "Easy for you to say. Your already with the Autobots."
I flinch at that.
"Sam!" Mikaela hisses at him while punching his arm.
I manage to compose myself for a moment before throwing a glare Sam's way. "In case you've forgotten I'm here because of a series of events that weren't my fault. I've had to sacrifice a lot more than you'll ever understand." I have to force the tears back from the hurtful words from Sam.
"What's going on over here?" Jazz asks walking up to my left side, with Prowl following in behind him.
"Nothing." I say stiffly.
"…now that's a lie if I ever heard one." Jazz replies obviously not believing me.
"Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." I insist.
Jazz gives me a look, so I turn my attention to Prowl instead. Bless his spark for seeming to know I need an escape. "Optimus is ready to revive Sentinel Prime. He's requesting your assistance."
"Ok." I make my way to Optimus, ignoring Jazz's stare as I do.
"Hello Evangeline." Optimus greets.
"Hey Optimus. Prowl said you needed my help." I state.
"Yes. I'm going to revive Sentinel with the Matrix of Leadership, but I would kindly request you say a blessing over it, to further encourage the Matrix. I would like to take every precaution I can to ensure this works."
"No problem." I reply. I place my hands over the Matrix and say, "Oel Ngati Kameie Eywa. Ting Mikyun ayoer, nutke, ma nawma sa'nok. Pon tixeati munge mi nga. Tiviran po ayoexip, hu tirey. Na Na'viya hapxi." (I see you Allspark. Hear us, please, all mother. Take this spirit into you. Let him walk among use, with life. As one of the people.).
Optimus looks at me with an awe filled look at both my words and the reaction of the Matrix to my words, which is glowing brightly. "Thank you Evangeline."
"Your welcome." I reply before stepping back to give Optimus room.
"Good job youngling." Ratchet praises.
"Thank you."
"It was beautiful darlin'." Jazz adds.
"Even if you couldn't understand it?" I ask jokingly.
"Yes. Anything ya say is beautiful." He replies lovingly.
I dip my head at his sweet words. I turn my attention back to Optimus who's now standing in front of Sentinel. "Let us begin."
"That's the great Matrix of Leadership. He hold the only thing in the universe that can power a transformers spark." Lennox explains to Mearing. Optimus informed him to not mention what I can do. He stated it would be best if the least amount of people know.
"Sentinel Prime. We bid you return." Optimus says before firmly placing the Matrix over Sentinel's spark.
Light immediately floods Sentinels spark. The sudden jumpstart causes him to come online and jerk and gasp. He speaks in Cybertronian as he grabs a sword from his back and knocks Optimus to the ground.
"Hold your fire!" Lennox orders.
The Bots standing close by go to help, but Optimus orders them back. Optimus holds Sentinel off from digging his sword into his head. "Stop! Sentinel! It is I-Optimus Prime! It is alright. You are safe."
"There is nothing to fear." Ratchet adds.
"We are here. You are home Sentinel." Optimus says as he and Sentinel stand.
"The war…the war!" Sentinel exclaims.
"The war was lost. Cybertron is now but a barren wasteland. We have taken refuge here, on planet Earth. Its human race is our ally." Optimus explains.
"My ship! We came under fire. The pillars-where are the pillars?" Sentinel asks frantically.
"You saved five of them, including the control panel." Optimus replies.
Sentinel looks displeased at that. "Only five? We once had hundreds!"
"Excuse me, gentlemen. May I ask…what is this technology you're looking for?" Mearing interrupts.
"It is the ability to reshape the universe. Together the pillars form a space bridge. I designed, and I alone can control it. It defies your laws of physics to transport matter through time and space." Sentinel explains.
"You're talking about a transportation device aren't you?" She asks.
"Yes, for resources, for refugees." Optimus answers.
"Refugees, or troops of soldiers, weapons, maybe bombs! A means of an instant strike! That's its military function isn't it?!" Mearing asks angrily.
"It is our technology and it must be returned." Sentinel says.
"Yes, if humans say so! You can't just bring weapons of mass destruction into our atmosphere! Kind of have to clear customs first. A little formality called paperwork, kind of separates us from the animals." Mearing argues.
"I will overlook your condescending tone if you heed the gravity of mine. The Decepticons must never know the space bridge is here, for in their hands it would mean the end of your world." Sentinel replies.
"Well rest assured that the obtained pillars are locked away in the vault in this hanger. They will be closely monitored." Mearing states.
"Be sure that you do." Sentinel stresses.
"Worry not Sentinel. My team will guard the pillars." Optimus adds.
"Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me I have some business to attend to." She then turns to Sam and Mikaela. "Mr. Witwickey. Ms. Banes. Follow me."
I give Mikaela a smile and a wave and don't bother with Sam-his comment hurt.
"So who all is included in this team?" Sentinel asks Optimus.
"Allow me to introduce you." Optimus introduces everyone. Sentinel knows some and those he doesn't he is introduced to. I hang out against the wall away from everyone. I'm content just watching everyone interact. I won't say mean, but Sentinel appears to be the strict type.
"I believe you've missed one." Sentinel says taking notice of me standing by the wall.
Optimus looks to me and encourages me to join them. Once I do Optimus begins introductions. "Sentinel, I would like to introduce you to a very dear friend to all of us. This is Evangeline and she is the Guardian of the Allspark."
Sentinels eyes widen at what he hears and looks at me in awe and wonder. "Are you certain of this Optimus?"
"Completely. Evangeline, may he see the markings on your arms?" Optimus asks.
I hold up my arms so Sentinel can see the glowing golden glyphs. Sentinel gently grabs my wrist and looks over the glyphs in amazement. "Amazing…might I ask that I hear you speak the language?"
"Oel ngati kame. 'Awvea ultzan ohengeya, nawma sa'nok irtok siveiyi. (I see you. May the great all mother smile upon our first meeting.) I say and offer a smile.
Sentinel smiles at that. "Words cannot express how much hope you have filled me with. This is a true blessing."
"I'm afraid you give me too much credit sir." I reply shyly.
"Such a humble spirit. Believe me when I say you have given this old mech something to truly believe in again." He replies.
"Thank you. It's been nice to meet you sir." I say.
"The honor is mine." He replies.
"She has truly been a blessing to us." Optimus says.
"Indeed. Tell me, how long have you carried the title of Guardian?" Sentinel asks.
"About four years now sir." I reply…wow four years already. I sure have missed out on a lot.
"A new Guardian indeed. Such a responsibility placed upon one so young." Sentinel comments.
"It hasn't been easy that's for sure. Most days were a struggle honestly." I say.
"But it will make you all the stronger for it. The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. I have no doubts that you will accomplish great things, just as the Guardians before you have done." Sentinel replies encouragingly.
"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. I'm starting to think it's a requirement to give encouraging speeches if you're a Prime."
Sentinel and Optimus chuckle at that. "My dear, the secret to that is improvising and making others think you know what you're talking about."
I laugh at his words. He seems like a strict person, but having been a leader you kinda have to be. However, he seems really nice.
"Hey Angel!" Lennox yells for me.
I excuse myself and head to the platform he's on. "What's up?"
"Sam and Mikaela are heading out, and Bee's going with them. Thought you might want to say bye." He replies.
I turn my attention to Sam and Mikaela. "Ya'll have a safe trip home okay?"
"We will. I wish you were going with us." Mikaela says sadly.
"Me too."
"We really miss you." She adds.
"I miss ya'll too, more than you know." I reply shakily.
Mikaela's eyes water at this, as she gives Sam a look.
"Angel, Av. I'm sorry about what I said. I'm just frustrated and I took it out on you. It's not your fault that you're here. I'm sorry." Sam says.
"You're forgiven."
"Thanks, and I really do miss ya. We both do." Sam adds.
"I miss ya'll too. Have ya'll heard anything about mom?"
"My parents are in town right now, and I asked them how she was doing. They said she's well. She just misses you." He replies.
"Yeah. I figured. Well, tell your parents hi for me."
"I will."
"Alright you two time to go. Bee's waiting." Lennox says.
"I hope we see ya soon. Have Bee show ya to our place and come hang out." Mikaela says.
"I'll try. I'd like that."
"Our place is always open."
With another goodbye from Sam and a teary-eyed goodbye from Mikaela, I watch them leave the hanger. I try-I really do- but I can't stop the tears from falling down my face.
"Ya popular with everyone ya meet darlin'. What's wrong? Darlin' why ya cryin?" Jazz asks noticing my tears.
"Are you alright Evangeline? Should I escort you to the med bay?" Prowl asks noticing the tense atmosphere.
"I'm-going to my room." I reply shakily.
"Darlin' what's wrong?" Jazz asks.
I ignore him and everyone else as I make my way to my room. I can hear Jazz following me and before I can get inside my room he gently grabs my arm. "Darlin' what is wrong? I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."
"Nothing."
"Angel, please don't lie ta me." Jazz replies seriously.
"I'm not. It's nothing you can fix." I say.
"Well I bet I could try if ya'd just tell me what it is." Jazz reassures.
"Unless you can make me human again then no-I don't think you can." I hiss.
Jazz turns even more serious. "Let's talk about this inside." He leads me into my room and closes the door. He turns his full attention to me. "So, that's what's been botherin' ya huh?" Jazz asks.
I remain silent.
"Now's not tha time ta be quiet." He says seriously.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want ya ta tak to me." He huffs in aggravation.
"What's the point? It won't do any good. Nothing will change and nothing will get fixed." I reply.
"There's nothing ta fix." He says.
"Look at me! I'd say there's a lot that can be fixed!" I reply angrily.
Jazz is silent for a moment. "Does this have anything ta do with your talk with Sam?"
"…kinda…not really. He practically threw my situation in my face in a fit of anger and I didn't take it well…I don't exactly have the same disposition as I did when I was human." I mutter.
"Do I need ta have a talk with him?" Jazz asks.
"No. All's forgiven."
"Alright. Well, as far as your disposition goes I think your handling things very well. You've accomplished a lot." He tries to reassure.
"Four years." I mutter.
"What?"
"It's been four years since the change…four years' worth of missing out on life." I elaborate.
"Ya haven't missed out on life darlin'. Ya still got a lot pf it ahead of ya." He reassures.
"But it's not the same! And yes, I have missed out. I've missed college, graduation, getting a career, and establishing my own place. Not to mention the things I missed with my family: Holidays, birthdays, births, deaths, reunions. My own family thinks I'm dead. They had a funeral! Obviously there wasn't a body so it was closed casket-so I couldn't even give them that! My mother has to pretend I'm dead, and I don't even get to see her anymore much less the rest of my family, and I didn't…I didn't…I didn't even get to say goodbye."
Jazz quickly kneels down in front of me and pulls me to his chest while rubbing my back and head. I can hear my tears splat on his chest. "I'm sorry darlin'. It seemed like ya were doin' better. Please don't cry."
"Some days are fine, but…but some days…it feels so unbearable." I mutter sadly.
"What can I do? What can I do ta take your pain away?" Jazz asks sadly.
"I almost think it might have been better if I had lost my memories during the change, so that way I wouldn't have to know what I was missing."
"No darlin' ya wouldn' want that. Ya wounldn' wanna forget all the good times to would ya?" Jazz asks softly.
"No…I just wish it didn't hurt so much." I whisper sadly.
"Oh, darlin'. I know. I wish there was somethin' I could do. Is there anything I can do?" Jazz asks.
"Just hold me, and never let me go." I whisper sadly.
Jazz sits on the bed and pulls me into his lap and back into his arms. "I can do that. I love ya darlin'. I won't ever let ya go."