Salem

"Stay still." Leliana cautioned, smiling at me in the dim glow of the moonlight. "I do not think anything is broken, but it would be best to be absolutely sure."

"As you say." I gripped the bedcovers as Leliana lifted the leg of my trousers, examining the purple and red mess of my knee.

She probed the swollen skin with gentle fingertips and I hissed at the assault. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes as she continued to assess the injury, attempting to focus instead on the warmth of her touch and the blessed comfort of her presence.

"Finished." she breathed, and I opened my eyes, smiling at her.

"And your final verdict?"

She shook her head, glaring at me with dancing eyes. "As ever, you have a penchant for actively destroying yourself." she confirmed. "But I am happy to say that it seems to be but an ugly sprain. I would refrain from putting weight on it for a short while, but I assume such a wish would fall on deaf ears?"

In another lifetime, you would have been correct. But I…I promised to change, and now that the war is ended, I can at last see such a thing through.

"I will not stir a step until so ordered." I declared, watching with eager interest as her eyes sparked and her mouth quirked up in a smile. "Though I imagine that I will have a difficult time following my own commands…I seem to heal more slowly as of late."

Leliana frowned as she rose and soaked a cloth in a bucket of freezing well water. I knew the same thoughts that plagued me also tormented her. And that she had to have noticed. Injuries that would have seemed trivial during the Blight had begun to take their toll on my body. Scars took longer to form, bruises longer to fade, and pain had become more insistent.

Neither of us would voice our fears, that it was the taint overtaking my blood, subverting my body's inclination to heal. There must be more time, I forced myself to believe. Not this fast. It cannot possibly be progressing this fast.

"No more of talk like that." Leliana laid the freezing cloth across my knee in an attempt to alleviate the swelling and numb the pain. "Although I do wish Anders were here; he is second only to Wynne in his grasp of healing magic."

The mention of the mage's name brought back the dark memories and the confusion that my nightmares had been unable to help me sort through.

"Anders…will not be returning." I hung my head, wishing that somehow I could have done more for the obviously troubled young mage.

No matter my warnings, no matter my attempts to get him to see reason, Anders had remained lost in his bitterness. Even Leliana…even Leliana had not been able to make headway with him. She had tried explaining to the man that, while the faults he found with the Chantry were well-founded and true, that an uprising of mages would do little to change the world as it stood. The both of us, knowing war as we did, knew that it should be a last attempt to effect change…but Anders would not listen.

"What happened, Salem?" Leliana asked, reaching out and turning my face towards her. "What happened to write such a darkness in your gaze?"

"We…we secured the city." I launched into the tale, forcing the images away, the broken bodies, the orphaned children screaming in the streets, the stench of blood and death and fear. "And discovered a tunnel leading into the Deep Roads…just outside the city. As we journeyed in…we met the Architect."

Leliana's own eyes darkened then. Though she had never met the strange, sentient, monstrous would-be liberator of the darkspawn, she understood his motivations, but loathed his methods. The fact that we were both aware he had stolen my blood…rich and rank with an Archdemon's…perfect for tearing the darkspawn from the hive mind and into freedom, had done little to earn her affection.

"We spoke," I inhaled deeply, "and it came down to a choice. A choice between him…and the Mother." I spat the term he had given to the vile creature, ensconced in relative safety beneath the earth, breeding more hideous children than I could ever countenance.

"A choice between two evils." Leliana breathed, recognizing the dilemma from the vision that had proceeded our nightmarish separation. "And, in order to live…one must be set free."

"Yes." I nodded. "I chose the lesser. Even though it was his forces that attacked Vigil's Keep…the Architect has no war-like agenda. He wants but freedom…freedom for him and his kind. The Mother…it would be yet another full scale war, Leli. A war with an enemy that does not rely on a single voice and mindless violence, but a war against an enemy that strategizes, thinks as we think…an unholy conflict on an epic scale."

"You made the right decision." she assured me. "It must have been so difficult…"

"Justice went mad." I shuddered, remembering the wicked blue light emanating from the Warden Kristoff's decaying corpse. "He threatened me, citing my destruction and the end of all that I loved if I did not see both the Architect and the Mother suffer for their crimes against humanity. It…it would be so easy, Leliana, if all things on this earth were as plainly delineated as they are in the Fade. But we could not win…no matter our power, we had spent the entire day in combat…there was no way we could achieve a victory."

"I know, my love." Leliana sat behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, drawing me close, kissing the tears that had gathered on my cheeks. "You did what you must, as ever you have."

"I tried to explain." the sickening feeling of defeat washed over me and I curled my hands into fists, feeling the bite of my nails against my palm. "I tried to reason with him…to no avail. He simply shouted all the more fiercely, declaring how this feckless morality was the core of rot in the human race. That decisions such as the ones I made were the reasons the mages still wore unjust chains…it was the perfect mutiny, Leliana. Anders, at last, had the opportunity to rebel, and an ally I could not hope, in my current state, to battle. He offered Justice a life of seeking truth, fighting for liberty, changing the waking world in a direct manner, not providing silent inspiration from the Fade. They…merged."

I remembered the wash of blinding light, the scent of scorched lyrium in the air, the fear present on all faces, even Oghren's. The overwhelming stench had been that of a dessicated, rotting corpse as Justice fled the shell of Kristoff's body and entered Anders'.

"It could not have been a more gruesome inharmony." I shuddered, feeling warmth infuse me as Leliana pressed a feather-light kiss to my shoulder. "Nothing like the gentle spirit that Wynne carries within her. Their…joining…was violent, terrifying, against all laws set down by magic and the Maker. Anders put Kristoff's sword to my neck, and his eyes blazed an unreal blue, as he proclaimed that I should be punished for allowing the evildoer to walk free…that he would see justice done…and I knew the man was not himself."

Leliana's fingers absently brushed the red, scabbed line on my throat, her breath shuddering as she realized how close she had come to losing me at the hands of one who might have been a friend.

"At the last moment, Anders regained control of himself, a wild fear in his eyes, a grim realization of what he had done. He dropped the blade and said that, for my kindness, for giving him a life he did not want, but the freedom that he needed, he would let me live…this once. Then he left, not even bothering to support us through the last battle. If ever we meet again, he will kill me, Leliana."

"Then you must make certain that your paths will never cross." Leliana's voice had hardened, cold as steel and twice as sharp. "If their union is anything like that of Wynne and her spirit, Anders will become immensely powerful…and he does not have the age and wisdom to ground him in a sensible course of action. Maker's breath…this world is going to burn."

"What have I done, Leliana?" I asked, feeling guilt and shame claw at my spirit. "What sort of world am I leaving to you?" tears poured from my eyes afresh.

"Salem, Salem…hush, love." she pulled me tighter against her and pressed her lips against my hair. "You have done all you can, and that is worlds more than any other living being could achieve. It is not the kingdoms we build on this earth that matter, not the cities of stick and stone and thatch, but the kingdoms crafted from heart to heart. Let enemies assail us, let stones be broken, let cities burn…for that which is in our hearts lives on."

"But…"

"You have built for us a beautiful world, Salem. A world that once existed only in legends. Where heroes were kind, compassionate…so very, very human. I have seen the sum of salvation in your eyes, the greatness that lies within your heart. And I am blinded by its beauty. Let this business with Anders trouble you no further."

"Why should I not? Why should I not seek him out, keep him from harming himself or another?"

"Because that is not meant for you." she spoke with the surety of one who could gaze into the future. "You were promised a life of peace, but it is you who must see that promise through, my love. You are not this world's sole protector, and there is no shame in that."

I let her words soak into me, like a balm into a burn. A life of peace…a woman of peace. Yes, this fate was promised. But, in order to accept it, I must learn to look at this life with different eyes. The warden's reach is far…and I am certain that Woolsey will alert the First Warden immediately to Anders' rebellion…the end result does not bode well, but it is long past time I cease concerning myself with such things. I am sworn to my wife, I am sworn to this land, and I will cling to this hard-won peace for as long as it may last.

"Harvest is coming." I altered the subject, turning it to more joyous matters. "What would you say to celebrating the healing of a land?"

"Yes." she hugged me closer. "Of course, yes. Let there be dancing, joy and song; let life be new again." her lilting accent made the old poem ring fresh in my mind, full of beauty and promise. "Celebrate, love, and laugh once more; let anguish fade, and peace begin."