The song is called House of the Rising Son by The White Buffalos. It's a really sad but great song and one that was in the show. After hearing it, this was all I could think about. I suggest you guys listen to it on youtube. Enjoy.

Chapter 36

"There is a house in Charming town, they call the Rising Son."

Alex was sure she felt her cell phone ringing in her pocket at some point, but she didn't care. To be honest, it could have been the vibrations from the bike she was riding more than anything else. It wouldn't matter either way though. She wasn't going to talk to anyone. She wasn't going to do anything but keep riding as long as she had road.

"And it's been the ruin of many a poor girl. And me, oh God, I'm one."

The wind made her nearly go deaf, stinging her eyes and hurting her ears as it blew passed her at nearly eighty miles an hour. She could barely see in the night, but again she didn't care. Alex found it hard to give a damn about anything at the moment.

She did however; begin to care the most when the bike began to sputter. Alex glanced down and realized she'd run the thing dry. Releasing the throttle, Alex coasted with the bike until it came to a stop. She jumped off and walked with it, still beyond emotion. Running out of gas made her care, but not much.

Twenty or thirty minutes had passed before Alex spotted a gas station. She continued on, receiving a few looks from people but largely ignoring them as she pulled it to a pump. Alex had no wallet, no money, no anything that would let her pay for gas and after the prices started going up a few years ago, you weren't capable of getting the gas first without paying.

"That your bike?"

The random voice forced Alex out of her staring contest with the gasp pump. She looked around before spotting a man leaning against her it to her right, eying the black bike.

"Yeah." She answered under her breath, fighting the twinge it caused.

"Nice machine." He told her, still staring intently at it from the MC name to the reaper painted in plain sight.

"M-hm." She said, putting an end to her side of the conversation.

The man stared at the young woman with the disheveled hair and appearance. He figured he might as well leave her be or risk an outburst. Something about the way she looked made him think she was a psychotic biker bitch. Maybe she was.

As she continued to think on how she planned to get money for gas, Alex noticed the man across from her pay for his own and walk off when the pump began to fill his truck. She leaned to the side, cocking a brow at the man who entered the convenience store without a backwards glance.

Moving slowly, Alex grabbed the two liter water bottle out of the trash and tossed the cap. She moved to the other side of the man's truck, hidden behind its massive bed, and pulled out the pump. Without waiting, she filled her water bottle with gas. A chiming bell in the distance caused her to look up and see the man within. He wasn't the one that had exited, but he was about third in line at the register. Alex went back to her work.

When the two liter was filled, she emptied it into her tank and returned to the pump to fill it again. Her tank wasn't big, but it took more than a few liters of water. So she waited, filling the bottle a second time, leaning lazily against the gas pump. She might get caught. Maybe not. It really didn't matter.

By the time she made her third trip with the bottle, Alex noticed the man coming back towards his truck. He was fussing with a Slim Jim wrapper and since they seemed to be too difficult for him to master, he was distracted long enough for her to put the nozzle back into his truck and return to her bike.

She kick started Opie's motorcycle with its fresh tank of gas and sped off again. That place really was convenient.

"If I listened to my momma, Lord I'd be home today. But I was young and foolish, a handsome rider led me astray."

~~~~!~~~~

Jax had been struggling to get a hold of Alex for the better part of a few hours. She hadn't answered her phone, she wasn't home, and he didn't know where else to look. He didn't know what to do. The last thing he saw was her tear stained face and the desperation in her eyes before she fled. He didn't want to think about what that kind of pain might cause a person to do.

He had been pacing in his own living room since the last time he tried to call her without an answer. That was almost an hour ago. Alex had run off on Opie's bike at seven thirty and it was bordering now on midnight. In five hours time, she could be almost anywhere, perhaps not even in California anymore. Jax suddenly felt like he lost both of his siblings, not just one.

His ringing cell phone was so unexpected he felt his stomach jump. After waiting in silence listening only to the worst things his mind could come up with, Jax hadn't anticipated a cell phone. He answered it quickly.

"Yeah?" he all but demanded.

"Jackie?"

Jax felt his stomach immediately drop, relief sweep through him when he heard a familiar voice on the other end.

"Alex? Where the fuck have you been?" he snapped angrily into the phone's receiver.

"I'm fine. Stop calling me." She told him in the same monotone voice she'd been using.

"Where are you?" he pressed.

"Home." Alex replied. "Now leave me alone."

And without a goodbye or anything else, Alex hung up the phone. She didn't want to go into any details, talk about where she'd been, or anything else. She only wanted him to leave her alone.

Jax didn't know if he should be upset or relieved. The emotions of the passed few days were still swelling within him, unanswered and unwelcomed. It made his whole body hurt. He didn't know how to make it go away and had a feeling it never truly would.

~~~!~~~

Alex pushed her phone in her pocket before eyes fell to her empty bed. She found herself staring at it and the messed sheets and pillow that weren't caused by her. Her stomach turned again and lurched this time making her sick. Alex raced for the bathroom, barely able to make it before she spilled the miniscule contents of her stomach. The tears came again for more than one reason, but the knots never left.

Time held no sway over her anymore. She had nowhere to be, nothing that needed to be done, or people she cared to see. Time meant nothing for the first time in her life, so Alex moved as slowly as she could to waste as much of it as possible.

Eventually, though she wasn't certain how, Alex found herself lying on the couch, her cell phone back in hand though it didn't show her anything she should be looking at. Instead through teary eyes and clouded vision, Alex stared at the picture Tara had sent her a couple of days ago.

It was a picture of her and Opie, one Alex hadn't realized was ever taken. The large man was standing behind her, his arm protectively laced over her and hitched in her sling while she cradled it. She could see the cuts in her face, the bruising and knew from the background alone this was when they all killed Emmett. But it was Opie she stared at, the man that was gone now.

He looked so strong, angry but strong, like her protector and he was. Opie was larger than anyone she ever met, not just in stature but in caring. He gave his everything to the people he loved whether it killed him or not. Evidently, it was his loyalty that got him now.

"My sweetheart he's a rambler, Lord he rides an old machine."

The tears came again and the only thing she could do was bury her face into her palms and let them. Alex was broken completely now. The one person she considered her friend, her everything, was gone leaving her all alone and she didn't know what to do.

~~~~!~~~~

Days had passed and no one save Mary had seen Alex. Mary had stopped by to give Alex some of the food and flowers people had been giving her and Lyla. Everyone did that for the family when someone died. But no one did it for the mistress. That's what Alex had been reduced to in a few people's minds, the other woman, but if she knew she didn't care. Mary understood Alex more than Lyla was willing to try. The old woman knew her son and she knew what the two of them had lingering just beneath the surface for each other and knew what Alex lost. So, she brought her some of the 'condolence' swag.

Alex hadn't moved from her spot on the couch when Mary came by. She didn't answer the door either, Mary simply walking in with the spare key. She knew through Jax that Alex was home and figured she was unwilling to take guests, so Mary just wanted to drop the things by. When she had, she hadn't expected to see Alex lying on the couch under a blanket in the same clothes she'd worn to Opie's wake. From the looks of it, once she took her spot, Alex didn't move.

Despite trying to speak with the young woman, Mary received nothing in response. She wasn't sure what she assumed would happen, but wasn't surprised in the end. After dropping off the casseroles and house plants, Mary said her farewells and left Alex to herself. Alex barely registered someone having stopped by in the first place save the new scent of food in her home. She didn't care.

"He's got one hand on the throttle, the other on the brake. He's riding back to Redwood, to (share) his father's (fate)."

~~~!~~~

By the time Jax had enough, Alex was missing from Charming for over a week. Calls went unanswered. She never came to the door, and he didn't know what else to do. People asked him how she was doing knowing the two were close, but overestimated the degree. Alex hadn't been the same since Opie died and he could tell. If there was one thing that could rock the otherwise solid young woman's foundation, this was it.

Having enough of her behavior, Jax stormed to Alex's house to talk to her. She was scaring him. Hell, the last time she disappeared, she ended up with a guy like 'what's his name'. Alex didn't have the greatest track record when it came to her leaving Charming. Granted her track record in Charming wasn't inspiring either.

As he pulled up to the house, Jax noticed nothing had changed. Other than him and Tara bringing Alex her car over a week ago, nothing had happened. Her grass was growing taller than her neighbors, her mail was pushing itself out of the mailbox and newspapers were forming a small pile near her door. His heart dropped.

Hooking his helmet to his handlebars, Jax went up to the front door and knocked. Nothing. He knocked again and once again there wasn't an answer. Instead of waiting, Jax opened the front door and couldn't believe what he saw.

Alex was lying on the couch. The TV was on, the remote somewhere on the coffee table amidst a sea of Ginger Ale cans and a half empty bag of chips, some of which rested on the wooden surface. Her skin was pasty, like she was ailing and bags beneath her eyes. Alex hadn't looked as though she'd slept in months despite him knowing otherwise.

The young woman didn't look to him, still curled tightly in her blanket as her eyes stared blankly at the television. Her hair looked matted and greasy, her shirt the same he saw her wear so many days ago and in that moment he knew for a fact she hadn't moved. Alex hadn't moved, showered or seemingly eaten in over a week.

"Jesus." He breathed, stepping further into the room, kicking a can aside with his boot.

He couldn't believe it. He understood, maybe, but he'd never thought someone like Alex would go catatonic like she had.

"Alex," he said softly, his face still twisted so tightly into sad disbelief it hurt. She didn't reply. "Alex?"

Again she didn't answer. Jax stepped closer, this time into her line of sight and still nothing. His brows pulled together tighter, if it were possible. He decided if she wasn't going to look t him, he would at least make sure she heard him.

Kicking aside another empty can that had fallen from the coffee table, Jax pushed everything in front of her to the side. He tried to do it gently, but there was nearly a twelve pack worth of the drink strewn over the surface. He was pretty sure one of two clanked to the ground before he had an area clear enough to take a seat. Alex continued to watch the television through the man.

"Alex, honey look at me." He all but pleaded, leaning his forearms onto his knees.

She didn't reply, but blinked. Blinking meant she was alive. It was amazing how much Jax needed that small action.

"Please," he asked. He still needed to know she heard him, to know she was there. "Are you with me Alex?"

Still nothing. His frustration and fear of with the young woman was growing and there was no way for it to stop until she gave him the slightest hint she was still alive. As it was, Alex was barely more than a shell of what she used to be.

Jax found himself sitting there staring at her for a few minutes before his cell phone rang. Reluctantly, the young man dug into his pocket and retrieved the device to answer it.

"Hello?" he asked heavily.

"Jax?" Tara asked apprehensively. "How is she?"

Tara had been the one to convince Jax to pay Alex a visit. To be honest, he didn't need much convincing, but she was the one that pushed him to actually do it. He was grateful to her for it. After Alex's reaction to Jax's news about Opie and how violently she struggled to get a hold of him, the man wasn't sure being alone with the young woman was a good idea.

With his wife on the other line, Jax pushed himself up from his seat and moved into the back of the house. He caught sight of the dying plants and casseroles that were passed their prime in her kitchen. His heart dropped a bit further before he ducked into her bathroom and closed the door behind him.

"I don't know." He answered honestly, taking a seat on her toilet and running his fingers through his hair. "She doesn't even look the same anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"She's pale. She doesn't look like she's eaten."

"Is it really that surprising? I mean, it's pretty obvious she was in love with Opie, Jax. She's depressed."

"It's more than that." He sighed, shaking his head again. "I don't know what to do."

And he didn't. Jax had never dealt with something like this. If this was depression, Alex was passed the point of normal return and was going to need something big to…

Before Jax could finish his through, something caught his eye. He felt them narrow skeptically as he reached out and took the small boxed object into his hands. He read the label over and over again. It was simple and to the point, but he couldn't help it. There was something wrong with what he was seeing.

As bad as it sounded, he expected Alex to slip into her parent's paths. That had been his main fear when it came to telling her about Opie. Her parents were both addicts. Her mom was a painkiller kind of gal while her old man was booze. Part of him knew those genes ran through Alex and how likely it was she could sink into that same life when something like this pushed her to it, but what he found was beyond that. He expected painkillers, liquor, maybe even crank or something like that, but not this. Jax never expected this.

"Fuckin' Christ." He breathed, his heart all but stopping in his chest when the cylindrical object inside the cardboard fell out and onto the tile floor.

"What?" Tara asked quickly, hearing the borderline panic in Jax's words. "Jax, what's going on?"

The young man was having trouble hearing anything other than the beating heart in his chest. He dropped the phone, spotting another box matching the first and dumped out whatever might be inside.

By the time he was done, Jax had six small chunks of plastic, each bearing the same tell-tale marks of being used. He felt knots in his stomach before they began to migrate to his throat. His eyes burned with the threat of tears at the display.

Now it made sense. Now he knew why she hadn't moved. He knew why she had slipped into her coma like state. He knew why Alex was so angry, distraught and looked to have given up on everything. Now he knew and it didn't make him feel any better.

"Jax!"

His name being screamed in the background forced the young man to snap to and grab his phone. He pressed it to his ear just as Tara screamed again, her own panic setting in.

"Yeah." He replied, his eyes moving disbelievingly over the trash on the floor.

"What's happening?" she demanded, a hint of anger in her voice.

"I know what's wrong." Jax replied as though he'd discovered the largest secret in the world. Then again… he kind of felt like he had. "I know what's wrong with Alex."

"Ope's gone." Tara said, her voice turning sad. "I know. We all know."

"No. It's not. Tara," Jax began. His hand came to his mouth as he stared at the pieces, still unable to comprehend the news. "Alex is pregnant."

"And me I wait in Charming town, the game I (loathe) has won... And I'm staying here to end my life, down in the Rising Son."

Next ones better. Alex gets some sense knocked into her.