I was already up to almost 6k words and still had at least 2 scenes to go, so I ended up splitting this chapter into 2 parts so I could get it posted more quickly. Thanks for all the positive feedback. I'm trying to get these chapters out as quickly as I can, I just have very little free time right now and a typical chapter takes me between 5-10 hours to write (more if I struggle with it). Thanks for your understanding and patience. Now, on to the good stuff.

Chapter 37

Nathan followed her out of the apartment, heedless of his state of undress. "Haley," he yelled as he ran, pausing a few steps down and jumping up and down on one foot as he stepped on a rock. He started down again and was forced to reach for the railing as his world spun. He waited for it to stop and continued on, holding on in case the dizziness returned. Totally frustrated, he finally arrived at the bottom just in time to see Brooke's car pulling away and slammed his hand on the wooden rail in frustration.

"Damn," he sat on the last step and put his head in his hands as tried to quell the nausea roiling through him. "What the hell just happened?"

He tried to get his thoughts together, forcing himself to calm and try to remember the previous couple of hours. He recalled kissing Tiffany on the cheek and practically shoving her unwillingly toward the door. Things got kind of fuzzy after that, but he remembered wanting to take a shower and the next thing he knew, he was in bed and Haley and Tiffany were having a confrontation at his front door.

A couple of young women approached the stairs, giggling as they looked him up and down, one of them inviting him to their room. He quickly remembered his lack of attire and made his way back up to his apartment, surprised to find the girl who had ruined everything still there.

"Get out," he told her as he entered, leaving the door open behind him. "I don't have the patience to deal with you right now."

"Come on Nate, don't be mad," she stood from the stool she'd been sitting on, "She wasn't good enough for you anyway."

"Don't..." he tried to put down the urge to cross the room and strangle her. "Don't you dare say anything about her. She's better than both of us and I just...," Nathan paused and shook his head as he made his way to the couch and sat down, "damn, Quentin was right. I should've kicked you to the curb the moment I saw you again. You've never been anything but trouble."

She was taken aback at the attack, but tried to rally, taking a couple steps toward him, "Only the best kind... I could..."

"I said get out," he pointed at the door, not willing to play along, "I don't want you here."

"Don't say that Nathan, come on," she walked over and knelt down in front of him, "I did this for you...for us. You know we should be the ones getting married."

"Don't you ever give up?" he looked down at her, with distain "You're pathetic. I wouldn't marry you if you were the last woman alive."

She flinched like she'd been smacked, "you weren't saying that an hour ago when we were making love."

This time it was Nathan's turn to draw back, "You're lying. I remember calling a cab for you."

She nodded, "but we ended up in the shower and I forgot all about it," she reached toward him, "I must say, you were awfully good for someone too wasted to even remember it."

He noticed for the first time her hair was damp and felt his stomach cramp. He couldn't possibly have done all that and not remembered it, could he? His head was pounding. There was too much he couldn't remember and most of what she was staying didn't make sense. The one thing he was sure of was he had to get her out of there. "I want you out of here." There weren't many options that late and in the state he was in, so he did the only other thing he could think of, he called his brother.

Nathan opened the door before Lucas could even knock, surprising the blonde, "Thanks for coming. I really need you."

Lucas looked over at the woman sitting on the couch, dressed again in her short dress, "Dude, I'm flattered but Peyton would..."

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Not that, get your mind out of the gutter. I need you to take her home."

"Are you okay?" Lucas noticed his brother's flushed face. He didn't look good. "I was surprised you called me."

"I don't have anyone else. Besides, Haley still trusts you and I need you to check on her for me too," Nathan shook his head and gave him a brief rundown on the evening. "I know this didn't start as a normal marriage, but however she feels, she at least has the right to expect me to be faithful...to not embarrass her."

"Did you do it?" Lucas knew how Haley really felt and how devastated she probably was at what she saw, or at least thought she saw. What he wanted to know was if he should help him or punch him in the face. "Did you sleep with her?"

"No..." Nathan ran his hand through his hair, "at least I don't think so, but my brain is too fuzzy to know for sure. I certainly didn't intend to." He looked over at the woman responsible, sitting there as if she didn't have a care in the world while his was falling apart, and felt sick to his stomach that he'd ever even looked twice at her. How could he have been so stupid to trust her even the slightest bit? He didn't want to believe even drunk he would've been crazy enough to have sex with her again, but without his memories, he couldn't be one hundred percent sure. He felt the nausea rise in his throat again and had so swallow it down. He felt like he was going to be sick.

Lucas blew out a breath, it was worse than he even thought. He understood why Haley had been upset, but he couldn't help but feel for Nathan as well. He was obviously hurting, "What are you going to do?"

"I tried calling her and she hung up on me," Nathan admitted, wiping his clammy hands on the shirt he'd thrown on. "I can't blame her," he closed his eyes for a moment. "I really screwed up. I swear though, I would never purposely do something to hurt her. She means too much to me. I need you to talk to her, to let her know I'm sorry."

"Look, I don't know what I can do. Haley and I aren't as close as we used to be, but I'll go to her," Lucas promised, knowing he would've headed there regardless of the dark haired Scott's pleas. "If I were you, I'd get some sleep and be prepared to grovel tomorrow...a lot."

"So, you're pretty hot yourself," Tiffany reached out from her side of Lucas' car. He had barely spoken to her since he gestured for her to leave with him and she was tired of the silent treatment. The whole evening had gone against her plans and while she was pretty sure she'd managed to salvage something out of it by getting the wedding cancelled, she wasn't any closer to getting Nathan to consider her as a viable alternative. She wondered about the relationship between the brothers and if it was as rocky as she'd heard. Maybe she could use that to her advantage.

He removed her hand and pulled over to the side of the road, "Look. I know you're probably used to getting whatever you want, but it's not going to happen this time. You need to stay away from Nathan."

"He's being so difficult. I just wanted to spend some time with him and he used me and then discarded me like trash. I could use some help... " she fished a little, "I heard you two don't really get along,"

"Drop the act," Lucas rolled his eyes, giving her a look that said she wasn't fooling him, "He's still my brother and I'm not going to stand by and watch while you hurt him, or my best friend Haley. Whatever game you're playing, it won't work."

She let the pout fall from her face and studied him, "You think you're so tough. You don't know anything about me or what I'm doing...you've never had to scratch for anything in your life."

"Maybe not, but I know that you don't want the Scotts as your enemies," Lucas narrowed his eyes, "So if you're smart, you'll go back to wherever you came from and come up with another plan, because one thing we're good at is taking down any threat to our family."

Lucas found Brooke sitting on the floor in the hallway outside the James upstairs bathroom, flipping through a magazine while she talked on the phone, "Luke's here," she said into the receiver,, her voice belaying her exhaustion, "I'll talk to you later. Love you."

She stood and led him into Haley's room before gesturing back outside, "she's been locked in there for over an hour."

"Nathan is a mess too," Lucas shook his head and looked up at the ceiling, "I wanted to strangle that bitch with my bare hands."

"Who cares about him? This is his fault," Brooke's hands went to her hips, "He just trampled all over her heart and you're going to worry about him? Some best friend you are."

"I'm not saying he didn't screw up," Lucas put his hands up as though to defend himself, "but I really don't think he slept with her and even if he did, I don't think it's all his fault. You should've seen him Brooke. He looked messed up. I think she did something to him. "

Brooke's stance softened slightly, "That sucks, but it's still his fault for even taking her there. What was he thinking?"

"He probably wasn't," Lucas shrugged. Brooke scowled at him and he added, "Look, I don't know and he wasn't really chatty when I saw him, but I'm pretty sure that hurting Haley wasn't anywhere in his intentions. I think he really cares about her."

"Well it still happened," she pointed out, still angry at the guy who was causing her friend so much heartache. She closed her eyes and sighed, "I can't believe this. They're supposed to be getting married in like 9 hours."

"I don't think that's going to happen now," Lucas shook his head, "Nathan said she called it off."

Brooke looked over at the wedding dress hanging on the door, "No wonder she's in there. She's got to be devastated. She was really hoping for that fairytale ending."

Lucas sighed and headed back toward the bathroom, " I'm going in. She shouldn't be alone right now."

He took a pocketknife out of his pants and jimmied the door open, finding Haley sitting on the floor and leaning against the bathtub, "I'm so sorry Hales," he said, squeezing his lanky frame down on the floor next to her, "I hate that this happened to you... so does he for what it's worth."

She nodded, her eyes dry as she continued to stare at the wall. She had cried until it felt like there were no more tears and now she was just numb. She didn't feel anything at the moment and while that probably should've scared her, it was easier that way. She couldn't hurt if she didn't feel. "It's okay, he shouldn't blame himself. I should've expected it."

Lucas pulled back to search her face, "What? Why?"

"Oh come on Luke, you saw her. That's his type, not this," she gestured to her body, covered in sweatpants and a t-shirt, "I never had a chance and everyone knew it except me."

"Come on Hales," Lucas shook his head, "you're beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

"I know," she forced a small smile, "but they don't seem to. It's my fault anyway. He never lied to me. He said friends and roommates and I was the one that fell for him...I was the one that broke the rules and wanted something other than what we agreed on. I was the one that tried to change things. I can't blame him for not following rules he didn't even know about."

"Haley," her calm acceptance and self blame were creeping him out. She should be angry, not blaming herself, "even if he didn't know how you feel, he should've been more careful of your feelings."

She completely brushed off his comments, "How is he? I need to apologize for breaking off the wedding and letting him down. He's probably worried sick about his mom now."

"He's worried about you," Lucas was too. This wasn't at all what he'd expected to find and he had no idea how to help her. "We all are."

"I'm fine," she waved him off, "just another lesson that sometimes the smart girl is really dumb. I think it might actually sink in this time."

"You fell in love," Lucas lifted her chin and looked into her eyes, "there's nothing dumb about that. The only person who's dumb is Nathan if he can't see what an incredible gift that is."

Haley tried to look away from his searching gaze, so much like that of his brothers. She didn't want to talk about her feelings, she wanted to forget they even existed. It was so much easier when she didn't feel.

He pulled her against his chest and she settled there, comforted for a moment by the familiar feel and smell of him, so similar and yet so different from Nathan's. His brother's chest was bigger, his arms stronger, and his smell spicier. She found herself, despite everything, wishing it were his body she was embracing and that finally broke through her wall, crumbling it to the ground as her tears started to fall again for the first time in over an hour. "It wasn't even real. Why does it have to hurt so bad?"

Nathan woke to the sound of someone beating on his door and looked at the clock. 9am already? He hadn't gotten to bed until after 6 and then he'd had trouble getting to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he'd pictured the look of horror and betrayal on Haley's face. She'd looked shattered and every time he'd remembered it, he wanted to kick himself for being the one to put that look there. He tried to wipe the sleep from his eyes and stumbled to answer as the knocking intensified.

"What the hell man?" Quentin burst through the door as soon as it opened. "I get a text that the wedding is off and then you don't answer your phone? I thought the bitch might've killed you."

"That might've been preferable," Nathan rubbed his hands over his face and went over to the kitchen to make himself toast. His stomach was still roiling and he didn't think he'd be able to keep anything else down. The two times he'd tried in the early hours of the morning had ended up with him in the bathroom on his hands and knees and the room spinning. "She drugged me."

Q came over and sat on the chair next to his friend, "and I'm assuming something happened after that with Haley?"

Nathan nodded and gave a basic explanation, "I swear, she looked like she'd been stabbed in the chest."

"Okay," Quentin could almost picture it, "but it wasn't your fault. That jealous..."

"Yes it was," Nathan cut him off, "I was stupid and cocky. I thought that I had it all under control, that I could handle her. I was so convinced that she wouldn't get the better of me this time, but all that did was make me careless. I never should've brought her here, I never should've underestimated how badly she wanted to get her hands on my money or the lengths she would go to to try. It was all my fault and Haley paid the price."

"What are you going to do if she doesn't marry you?" Quentin couldn't help but ask. "Are you going to try and find someone else? You aren't actually going to marry Tiffany are you?"

"What? Hell no," Nathan looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "I don't want to marry anyone else. I have to find some way to get Haley to forgive me."

"I hate to say I told you so," Q put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "but I knew this was going to get messy. You had too many feelings for each other for this whole friend thing to work, even from a distance I could see that. Maybe someone you don't know so well would be easier..."

"You seriously think that because I have feelings for her, I should marry someone else?" Nathan was incredulous. "That doesn't even make sense. Besides, I don't want anyone else, I want Haley."

Quentin smiled then, "Finally, you come to your senses," he slapped his friend on the back before becoming serious again. "You have to be sure though. This is marriage and the friends only ship has already sailed. If you decide to do this now, it'll be for real."

Nathan nodded, he finally knew how he'd deal the rest out later. "I am. I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner, but when she called off the wedding, I was devastated."

"Of course you were," Q didn't get the point. "You need that money."

"Yeah, but not once did I think about it in terms of needing to get married or what I was going to do about my inheritance. It was because I don't want lose her... to live without her."

"You know it's probably not going to be easy," Quentin felt the need to warn him. "If she was really as hurt as you say, she might not forgive you. This isn't something you guys can just brush aside."

Nathan knew it was the truth, he just hoped he was up to the task of helping her get past it.

It had taken almost 20 minutes for Nathan to convince Brooke to let him speak to her, but Haley was finally walking out onto the back porch with him. She'd obviously just gotten up and her eyes were still sunken and red-rimmed, making him want to kick himself all over again.

"I'm sorry," he said as soon as the door closed behind them. "I should've never have agreed to spend a minute with her, no matter the amount of money."

"No, I'm sorry," Haley held up her hand, "I shouldn't have reacted like a jealous girlfriend. I had no right. You've made it perfectly clear to me that we're just friends..."

"No, Hales..."

"Let me finish please?" he didn't like it, but he nodded and let her continue, "We had an agreement to keep our relationship platonic...to be friends and roommates. I got carried away and started to let myself think some of it was real and..."

"It was...you..."

"It's okay," she tried to smile at him, "I know it wasn't. I know how much it means to you and that you'd do or say anything to make this wedding happen, but you don't have to pretend anymore. We can still have the wedding, I won't let you down."

"It's not pretend Haley, I felt it too," he stepped toward her but she recoiled and he moved back. "It's not just about my mom anymore. It's about us. I want there to be an us...for real."

"I don't believe you," she turned her head away for a moment and then looked back at him. "It's just too convenient, especially knowing how desperate you must be. "

He waited for her to say more, but when she just continued to look at him, he wiped his hands on his pants and continued. "I am desperate, but not how you mean. I'm desperate to make you understand how I feel. I didn't cheat on you Hales. No matter what she said, I had no interest in her and all we did was talk."

"You sure didn't look uninterested when you saw her at the school," Haley sat on the swing and looked up at him. "You looked like a starving man who was just sat in front of a buffet."

Nathan felt guilty at the accusation, but didn't think it was totally fair, "I wasn't sure it was really her at first. She's changed a lot in the last couple years..." he could tell she wasn't buying it and admitted, "and okay, she's always been incredibly beautiful. Unfortunately, she's also a selfish, lying..." he bit his tongue as she frowned, "woman. I've had enough of her crap to last a lifetime. I am not in any way interested in her, I want you."

"That's interesting," Haley laughed as she leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, not letting herself react to the frantic beating of her heart from his words. She couldn't let herself believe them, because if she did and they weren't true, she wasn't sure she'd ever recover, "She said you were in love with her."

Nathan frowned at the memories of that time, when he had been young and foolish enough to think that lust and sexual chemistry were anything more than just that. "I guess I thought I was at one point," he couldn't look at her as he talked about it, "before I really got to know her. I was still struggling with James' death and away from home for the first time. Quentin was still a mess and she helped me forget it all," he stopped for a moment and she could see he was lost in thought. "It took me a while before I could look back and see how wrong it all was...how easy I was to dupe."

Haley could see that talking about it was difficult for him and stopped him, "It doesn't matter, it's none of my business."

He'd never seen her so cold and detached before and it made him wonder if it really was too late. "It is your business. You deserve to know everything."

He told her a story about his 15 year old self who was entranced by the 17 year old Tiffany who introduced him to sex and drinking and even dabbling in a few recreational drugs for a couple of months. Every guy was jealous of him and he enjoyed the attention it brought, the chance to be someone else for a while, until her parents came home early from vacation and caught them together. Then she turned on him and accused him of getting her drunk and seducing her, an accusation that had come very close to sending him to jail. The next time he'd seen her, she'd made it clear that he was just a bit of fun and mocked him for thinking there was anything else to their relationship.

"It was never love," he promised her, "it was infatuation and flattery, but it wasn't anything like I'm feeling now. Over these last few months, you've been the best part of my life. I look forward to each time I see you and..."

"Stop, please," Haley was almost begging, "I can't do this with you. When you came here, I started to have feelings for you and you acted like maybe they were reciprocated, but then you left and nothing. We texted for a few days and then basically nothing for weeks..."

"You know those were school rules," he tried to defend himself.

"Maybe, but I'm sure you could've found a way if you'd really cared," she pointed out. "You managed to have an affair while you were there, but couldn't manage phone calls?"

He knew she was right, but he'd been too busy fighting against his feelings to recognize them for what they really were. "I hadn't figured it out yet."

She stood up and walked past him, her emotions forcing themselves out, "Then you come back and give me this whole thing about just being friends and I was okay with that, knowing you'd at least be in my life, but then we had to act like a couple and the lines started to blur between what was real and what wasn't. I didn't know how to feel or what to think. Was it more, or was it all an act? Did I really have feelings for you or was it just the situation making me think that?"

He tried to tell her he felt the same way, but she wasn't done. She sat back down and put her head in her hands.

"Now this happens and you think I'm going to mess up your plans, put your money at risk, and suddenly you decide you want me? I can't do it. It's just too much for you to expect me to trust it's real. When I left your apartment, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I felt like my world was ending and I shut down. I never, ever want to feel that way again. I can't let myself go back to that place."

"How can I prove it to you?" he knelt down in front of her. "I'll do it. You want me to shout it from the rooftops? Write a song about it? What do you need?"

"I don't know," she said quietly, unable to hold his gaze, "I'm not sure what it would take. I just...I need some time and I guess I need to see that it's not different tomorrow or the next day. I have to know it's real and not just a knee jerk reaction to losing what you thought was your only option."

"I don't care about the money," he tried and she stood and started to walk back into the house.

"Okay, I do..." he admitted, reaching for her arm to ask her to wait, "because I love my mom and I have to help her. But that's not why I'm saying this. I'm saying it because it's how I feel and I don't want to lose you."

"You aren't losing me, you'll never lose me," she turned back to him, softening a bit. "I just can't be more than friends right now. Maybe someday things will be different, but I just don't know if I'll ever be able to take that chance."

Nathan sighed and leaned back against the rail. "I'll prove you can trust me Hales," he vowed. "I promise."

Haley shivered at the intensity in his eyes, but forced herself to remain still. "I guess we'll see."

Haley sat still as her mother and Brooke fixed her hair and makeup, her mind lost in thought over the morning conversation. Nathan had seemed so earnest that she'd been tempted to just throw her arms around him, but it had only been hours earlier that she'd felt like her heart had been ripped out. She never wanted to feel that way again and that meant protecting herself from things that could hurt her... things like Nathan. Brooke didn't understand how she could do that and still marry him, but she knew she had to try or she'd feel guilty about it forever. They'd made their pact as friends and that was something that she could hold onto. Even if he never felt the same way, she loved him too much to let him down.

Brooke finished her eyeliner and she opened her eyes to find a stranger staring back at her. Could the bride in her mirror really be her? It felt surreal after everything that had happened in the previous 24 hours.

She smiled as she caught her mother's eyes in the mirror as she pinned the last few curls into place and set the veil on top of her head, her eyes brimming with tears, "You look so beautiful," her mother gushed, grabbing a tissue to blot her cheeks, "My baby girl getting married."

Haley forced a bright smile to her face and turned to hug her, "I love you mom," she told her, a few of her own tears trying to surface. "I know I don't tell you enough how much you and dad mean to me."

Lydia leaned back, "We know anyway. You've grown into such an amazing young woman and we are so proud of you."

Haley felt a rush of guilt well up inside her that she hadn't told them of the previous evening's events. As far as she was concerned, the less people who knew the better, especially with the knowledge that his uncle would be attending the wedding.

"I know this isn't the way you always envisioned it," her mother continued, fussing with her veil, "but your kindness and generosity are as beautiful as you are. Someday, I hope you have a child who brings you as much joy as you've brought us."

Quinn moved around them, snapping pictures, "You look great," she gushed as she adjusted her camera. "My baby sis, getting married."

Taylor came back into the room, her bridesmaid dress accentuating her tiny waist, "I need to talk to you," she told her mother, pulling her aside for a moment.

"I'm almost done, can't this wait?" her mother tried to stay put.

Taylor wasn't having any of it though and pulled her out the door before closing it. Making sure they were out of earshot, she whispered, "Nathan isn't here yet."

"What?" Lydia's voice carried and her daughter had to shush her, "Where is he?"

"His family went looking for him," she shrugged, "We haven't heard anything back yet."

Lydia looked back toward the closed door, "I'm not telling her until we hear something for sure," she decided. "This could break her, and if it does, I'll break him."

Deb walked along the boardwalk , careful to make sure her heals didn't snag on the wooden planks. She could see Nathan ahead and released a breath of relief that she'd been right in her guess of where to look for him. She made her way in his direction and was surprised that she was almost touching him before he seemed aware of her presence. He must've really been deep in thought to be so easily caught unawares.

"How'd you find me?" he turned and leaned back against the rail as he faced her.

She took in his appearance, noting the weariness in the way he held himself. He'd faced so much in his short life and it was no wonder he'd finally needed to just take a break from it all. "You've always loved the water, ever since Cooper took us to the lake when you were 4," she looked out at the river, "It's beautiful here."

Nathan nodded and looked back out at it, "It helps me remember that I'm just a small part of this world. That my problems aren't as insurmountable as they seem. Although, I have to say that this time, they are pretty damn big."

"I hope you don't mind, but Quentin filled me in a bit on what's been going on. I'm sorry," she saw him tense and wanted to just pull him into her arms as she'd done when he was little, "What are you doing here? You should be getting ready for the wedding."

"I'm not sure there should be a wedding," he kept his gaze off in the distance. "I think I've already been too selfish, especially with her." He paused and turned toward his mom, "You know, I met her for the first time right over there. We literally ran into each other and I had a feeling she was someone I could fall for," he shook his head, "unfortunately, it took me a while to actually do something about it and because of that, she got hurt, more than once."

"You're 17 honey, it's okay to not have all the answers," Deb felt for him, knowing how hard emotions were to handle, especially when you were so young. "The question is, what do you feel now?"

"I'm in love with her," he didn't hesitate in his answer, "but that doesn't mean this is right. I've been thinking about this all morning and as much as I hate what Tiffany did last night, she made some good points."

Deb listened as he related the previous evening's conversation, "Don't you think she could handle it? I think the fact that she has her own life, her own goals, would make it easier on her. Besides, she doesn't seem like the kind of person that would let something like that beat her."

"I know she could," Nathan answered, "I just don't know that she should have to. She wants a family and a home with little kids running around, not a husband who's gone most of the time, or one who wants to go to school in another state."

"Don't you think that should be up to her?"

"Maybe," Nathan admitted, "but she'd never make the decision to call it quits, especially with the money at stake and what it means to us. I don't want her to have any regrets."

"What if her regret is that she lost the love of her life?" Deb countered. "I definitely don't want her to end up like me, scared to be hurt again, spending years mourning what she had when she was young. I don't want that for you either."

"This is so hard...I wish I had more time," he shook his head, "I don't want to make this decision right now."

"Forget about the money," Deb told him. When he started to protest she waved him off, "We'll figure something out, we always do. Just make this decision for you. Is The first question you have to ask yourself is if she's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? The second is, do you love her enough to fight through all the obstacles in your way in order to do that?"

Lucas knocked on the door to the room where the women were getting ready and Lydia carefully came out, shutting the door behind her. "Did you find him?"

Lucas shook his head no and she cursed before he added, "but his mother did."

"So is he here? What did he say?"

Lucas shook his head, "All I know is I'm supposed to give Haley this." He held out an envelope with her daughter's name on the outside. "It's from him."