Ah, another difficult chapter. These are hard to write when I love Izaya so. But I guess technically it's harder for Shizuo than it is anyone else, for he also loves Izaya so. Well, time to depress my fellow blond~! (I added smut to reward all of you for bearing with the sadness.) On with the story!

Delusions

Shizuo looked over at the man in the swivel chair. Izaya was humming again. He had been since he woke up. He was typing on the computer, which would've been fine if it was turned on. The screen was black. Shizuo wasn't sure if Izaya actually thought the screen said something or if he was just being silly. He found that he didn't dare ask, because he didn't want to hear the probable answer.

The typing stopped as the raven's song came to an end. He absently starting spinning in his chair, gradually picking up speed as he went. Then the laughter started. The hollow sound of someone who really didn't want to laugh; someone you could see through. The blond was on the couch, watching the scene sadly.

"Ne, Shizu-chan~. Don't you have work? Can't keep Tom waiting, can we? Go beat people up all day and you'll feel better," Izaya said as the chair stopped. Shizuo watched as he stood up and stumbled a little from dizziness.

"I called and said I couldn't come in today. Or tomorrow. Or any day until I can leave you here alone," Shizuo informed him.

Izaya stopped by the edge of his desk, his face thoughtful.

"Yes... I suppose that is best. You can help me, if you like."

Shizuo glanced up at him as he moved in front of the couch.

"What do you need help with?"

"I need help filing things. Namie hasn't been here in so long. I guess she quit. Shiki will wring my neck if I don't gather his information," Izaya sighed, moving forward to straddle Shizuo's lap.

"Flea...you sent her on leave because Shiki sent you on leave...remember?"

Carmine eyes looked down at him suspiciously.

"Yes, I know that Namie is on leave because I'm on forced vacation. Why do you bring that up all of a sudden?"

"Because you- Nothing. No reason. It just popped in my mind..."

Izaya laughed again, the hollow sound filling the room.

"Oh, Shizu-chan, you're too much sometimes. You just blurt whatever comes to your mind... Truly a protozoan..." His eyes glassed over again, his face furrowed with concentration. "That...is what I call you, ne? A protozoan? I can't...remember..."

The raven's head slumped on Shizuo's shoulder, his breathing ragged.

"I-Izaya? What is it?"

"I had a file on you... Why I called you the names I did. I think Namie destroyed them... She destroyed my names for you! Now I can't call you anything!"

The blond tensed, realizing the man was suffering from a psychotic episode. He froze, his veins turning icy. What could he do?

"Shh. You call me 'Shizu-chan'. Just call me that," he muttered softly.

"You hate that name. You hate it like you hate me." Izaya hissed, raising his head to glare at the taller man.

"No. I did hate it. But I love it now. Like I love you. I need you to-"

"Stop lying! You're patronizing me! I can see it in your face! You think I'm crazy? Unwell? Delusional?! I know what you're trying to do...You're making a fool of me! So you can tell everyone that you finally beat me at something!" The smaller man was thrashing as he spoke, trying to remove himself from the blond's lap.

"No I'm not. I don't think any of those things. I just need you to relax... I need you to breathe... Okay? Just please...come back..."

"Come back? Is that all you have to say? I'm right here, you waste of space! You damn neanderthal! Cro Magnon! Caveman! Brute!"

Shizuo bit his lip as the raven's fist collided with his cheek. He held on to the other as the thrashing continued. The brute felt himself hit a few more times before Izaya finally wore himself out.

"I'm not crazy... I'm not... I'm not...Not, not, not, not..." he was whimpering into Shizuo's shoulder.

"No, you just suffer from the ability to create personalities that take over your body every now and then," Roppi said calmly from beside the couch.

"Go away, Roppi. I'm with Shizu-chan," Izaya hissed, turning his head to look at the other raven.

"Looks to me like you're beating him up."

The informant blanched, looking down at the blond. He did look like he had been in a fight. Why wouldn't he have fought back? This was Shizuo. No one fought him. Then he realized what had happened.

"Oh, Shizu-chan... I'm sorry..."

Shizuo placed his hands on either side of the smaller man's head, looking into his cloudy eyes.

"Don't start that apologizing shit again please... I can't take it." he whispered.

"Iza-chan... Why are you acting this way?" Psyche asked from beside them.

"Because he's losing it," Hibiya said from the counter.

"I'm not losing it... Everything is fine," Izaya said quietly. He pulled Shizuo closer.

"Yeah, you're perfectly sane. Like the crazy guy in Psycho that hacked women up while they showered," Roppi hissed.

"Uwah! That's just a movie right? Too scary!" Psyche whimpered.

"No. It's based loosely on actual events," Roppi replied.

"Shut up..." Izaya pleaded.

"Izaya..." Shizuo said.

"No one hacks people up in the shower, plebeian! It's just a movie!" Hibiya said from his space at the counter.

"It's based on a true story..." Izaya sighed, giving in to the delusion as he interacted with them.

"No! Too scary! I need to never hear things like this or I can't sleep!" Psyche wailed from the other end of the couch.

"See, he was based on an American serial killer, Ed Geinn, who killed women and skinned them to make a suit from their skins. The part Psycho was based on was-" Roppi was explaining.

"No! No! NOOO! I can't hear this, La, la, la, la, la!" Psyche sang, covering his ears childishly. Izaya laughed in spite of himself as Roppi talked over the whimpering raven.

"WAS BASED ON HOW ED EMBALMED HIS DEAD MOTHER SO THEY COULD ALWAYS BE TOGETHER."

"Disgusting! I demand we discuss something else!" Hibiya shouted.

"Tell them about Jeffery Dahmer," Izaya said from his place in the brute's lap.

"Oh, yes. He actually injected acid into his victim's brains so they were still alive but unable to move when he raped them," Roppi grinned.

"Why do you know these horrible things?" Psyche wailed.

"And then he would cut them up and place their bodies in acid to destroy them. The parts he didn't eat, at least~."

"AHHH! AWFUL! I'm never sleeping again!"

"Commoners, shut the hell up!"

"Haha! Tell them about-" Izaya began, but was interrupted.

"Flea! Izaya, please! Please!" Shizuo shouted as he shook the smaller man's shoulders. His mocha eyes were wide and...afraid?

"Shizu-chan, we're just stating facts. These men are all dead and gone now, there's no need to fear them."

"No... No that's not...Izaya...please..." the blond pleaded, burying his face in the raven's chest.

"Shizu-chan?"

And the alternates vanished, the clouds went away from his eyes. It was just him and Shizuo, alone on the couch.

"Shhh, Shizuo... It's alright."

"Don't fucking tell me it's alright! It's not alright! You're not alright! None of this is acceptable! I...I can't...I can't..." The blond snarled, his hands running over every inch of Izaya he could reach.

"Can't what?"

"I...I don't know...how to help you. How to make them leave you alone, I can't..."

Izaya placed his fingers under the blond's chin, lifting his face to look into his eyes filled with pain.

"I know. It's okay. I know how you can help me," he purred, standing to quickly make his way to the bathroom, brandishing the tiny bottle of lube as he emerged.

"Not now... Not right now, flea. I just..."

Izaya licked his lips, forcing his tongue inside as the blond tried to argue. Shizuo's head fell against the cushions, his mouth continuously assaulted by the man on top of him.

"Iz-Izaya... Stop..." he growled.

"Ne, Shizu-chan... Don't deny that you want this..." Izaya said, lowering his hand to rub the front of Shizuo's pants.

"S-Shit..." Shizuo hissed, bucking up into that sinful hand unconsciously.

"Mmm, you're getting hard." Izaya leaned forward, voicing a breathy moan into his ear. "I can't wait to have you inside me again..."

"Izaya...fuck..."

"Thought you'd never ask." The informant grinned deviously as his hands unbuttoned the taller man's pants. He yanked the material down as he palmed the man's arousal through the thin boxers he wore.

In spite of himself, Shizuo brought his hands to the raven's hips, holding on and no longer trying to fight as the pleasure coursed through him.

"Hah...Izaya..."

"Heh... I know, I know. I'll stop teasing you now," Izaya said as he moved his hands to the front of his own dark pants, pulling them and his boxers down with one sweep.

"Nnn, see what you're doing to me, Shizu-chan? Your moans are so sexy," he purred as he captured the blond's lips in a fierce kiss.

It was the only way... The only other time his alternates were 100% quiet. Only when he was joined with Shizuo... Only when they were one... When they were complete.

"Izaya! Izaya, stop!" Shizuo said from below him as his own boxers were fully removed. Izaya was hovering over him, coating Shizuo's erection in lube while trying to lower himself down. "You aren't even prepared! You'll hurt yourse-"

"Don't care... Don't fucking care... Need this... Need to be whole..."

And Izaya pressed down with harsh finality, cutting off any further protests. He couldn't explain. He needed this. When they were apart, he wasn't himself. He couldn't think. But this way- this way they were together, really together...

Even if it couldn't last. Izaya couldn't keep it. He never could.

He fell against Shizuo as he reached his orgasm, his trembling body only held down by Shizuo's strong arms. He breathed in their conjoined sweat, listening to Shizuo panting in his ear. All of it was the bitter perfection of the moment. Izaya wouldn't change a thing.

"You...could've...hurt yourself..." Shizuo hissed between pants.

"Didn't hurt... Felt amazing. I love when you're inside me..."

"Izaya..."

"You love it too, ne? Or am I not good enough now that I'm broken?"

"Izaya! You're not broken, dammit! Not yet!"

The raven lifted himself off of the man's hips, Shizuo sliding out slowly. Izaya moaned at the feeling, his body still hypersensitive from his orgasm.

"You know...that I fucking love...making love to you..." Shizuo murmured.

"Of course. I love it, too..." Izaya said, kissing him again.

"Um...next time, warn us before you go at it..." Roppi mumbled from his place beside the couch.

"So romantic! I miss Tsu-chan!" Psyche whimpered from beside them.

"I could've gone my whole life without seeing such a vulgar display..." Hibiya added.

"Into voyeurism now, are we?" Izaya asked, facing his other personalities.

Shizuo watched him sadly as he rose, arguing with the thin air. The raven walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. The blond heard the water running and knew he was getting a shower.

Izaya was...

They were...

Out of time...

Shizuo placed his face in his hands as he realized just how far this whole thing had gone. Izaya was on that edge. This was it. This was the end.

Would he jump? If he did... Would Shizuo be able to catch him?

The blond couldn't bear to live without Izaya. They were connected, after all.

The door opened and Izaya emerged, clean and still mumbling to himself. He went straight back to his computer and resumed typing on the blank screen. Every now and then he would grow quiet, and his voice became whimpers, pleas for help.

Then the arguing would begin again.

This was it... This was it.

This was the climax.

And Shizuo... What would he do now that the time had come? Would he sit back and let the man destroy himself? Would he be able to observe as his love lost his mind any longer? No. He couldn't do this anymore...

Even if Izaya hated him forever, even if he never understood why...

Izaya was his responsibility. They had made a promise. They had joined little fingers and pledged to help each other to the end. And Shizuo was a man of his word.

Shizuo trusted the red string of fate that was attached to both him and the flea, even if only one of them could truly see it. He picked up his cellphone.

"Shinra... Yeah, I need you to come to Izaya's apartment. It's an emergency."

Sachi: Dun dun DUNNN! We're getting close to the end, people! I believe we have three more chapters to go, four at the most. Ah, I'll be so sad…My first fanfiction, ending…It's been an amazing time though! So stick with me till the end~! By the way, I'm currently a criminal justice major, so serial killers fascinate me. (In case you were wondering why I knew these things about them.) Everything I said was true! So I broadened your horizons while you read. And who said fanfictions were a waste of time? :D

Izaya: Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen?

Sachi: No reason~!

Shizuo: Well, at least I got laid again.

Izaya: Technically, I fucked myself with your anatomy. It's not like you did much work.

Shizuo: Izzaaaayyaaaaaaaaaaa…

Sachi: If you wanna see what happens next-

Izaya: You will review~!