Tobias
When we finally reach the safe house door, Tris leans against the side wall and promptly throws up.
I don't blame her, though my own stomach is surprisingly calm.
Running through the streets of Abnegation couldn't have been easy on her.
I had already been through it once, had already heard the screams and the gunshots, and I knew what to expect.
I was prepared for the death and destruction littering the streets.
I just wish that I had had a chance to prepare Tris for it, too.
Seeing the place you grew up in being ripped to shreds without any way to stop it is not something anyone should ever have to witness.
I reach out to her and pull her against my chest, holding onto her tightly for a few seconds.
I want to say something to console her, but every attempt dies in my throat.
What could I possibly say?
An easy reply drifts across my thoughts.
It's okay. Everything's going to be fine.
Only I can't say that, because it's not okay and everything might not be fine.
I let out a tiny sigh.
"I've got you." I finally whisper, because it's the only true thing I can say.
She turns her face into my chest for a moment, taking a couple of deep breaths before pulling away to look up at me.
"All those people…" She chokes out, her voice tight.
"I know." I breathe.
"We have to do something." She shakes her head hard.
"Tobias, we have to do something." She repeats when I don't respond.
I nod a little bit, running my hand through her hair.
"We will. We will do something. I promise." I assure her.
I take her face in my hands for a moment, gently rubbing her cheek with my thumb, trying my best to calm her down, but it isn't working.
The tears are steadily moving down her cheeks and her breath is coming out in quick spurts like she can't get enough air into her lungs.
"Tris, I really need you to calm down. You'll be useless like this and I need you."
I know she's been through hell and back, but that doesn't change the fact that I need her at full capacity.
She nods into my chest.
I reach out to knock against the door three times and pause as I was instructed.
I knock another three times, pause and then knock once.
On the last knock, the door swings open to reveal my father.
The change in his appearance since I last saw him is drastic.
He looks exhausted, all of the remaining youth gone from his face, the lines and wrinkles much more prominent.
This situation aged him in a matter of hours.
He's in over his head, but I know he'll never admit it.
He looks us over quickly and then steps aside for us to enter.
It takes barely a second for him to slam the door shut behind us and move the locks back into place.
The room is dimly lit, but I can tell that it's full by the whispers moving throughout.
We're inside for less than a second when I see Natalie pressing her way through the room desperately.
"Beatrice!"
She reaches us quickly, pulling Tris from my arms and wrapping her own arms around her.
I feel cold and empty without her warmth next to me, but I know that Natalie needs this moment to reunite with her daughter.
"Mom!" Beatrice breathes out and I can hear the relief in her voice.
Marcus and I exchange an uncomfortable glance.
He feels nothing at my return and the feeling is mutual.
If I had died in Erudite headquarters, I don't know that he would've cared at all.
The contrast between Natalie and Tris, and Marcus and me, is painfully obvious to both of us.
Natalie examines Tris's various wounds and then looks up at me.
Instantly I feel guilty for bringing Tris back as anything less than perfect.
"I'm fine…" Tris mumbles.
"…It doesn't hurt."
Natalie nods quickly.
"We should clean you up. Come with me." Natalie says holding a hand out towards her.
Tris takes it without hesitation; Natalie pulls her across the room and they both disappear through a door on the right.
I stare at the door for a moment, resisting the urge to follow them.
Now that I have Tris back, I don't ever want her to leave my side again.
I just know that it isn't practical.
I tear my gaze away from the door and find myself making eye contact with Marcus again.
He's staring at me like he has no idea who I am, and really, he doesn't.
I cross my arms over my chest.
"What's going on?" I ask him in a low voice.
Marcus watches me for a moment before answering.
"We've gathered a few of the wounded in the other room. Natalie has been attending to them. We're waiting this out, but there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. They're targeting council members and they don't seem to want to stop until they've found all of them, which is problematic as more than half of them are here."
I nod slowly.
"The Dauntless. They're probably programmed to keep going until…" I let out a sigh. "We're sitting ducks here. They'll never stop. We won't ever get to Amity. We need a new plan."
"You don't know that—" Marcus starts.
"Do you really think that Jeanine is just going to give up? Stop fighting? After all of this time and planning? She's smarter than that. She's not going to waste it all."
"You can't be sure of that." Marcus says quickly. "You don't know what Jeanine is planning."
I let out a scoff.
"I know more than you. I learned a lot in my time with the factionless. They're smart. They know things because they keep their ears to the ground. Jeanine is ruthless. She's not going to stop. If you want to get to Amity, we need a new plan." I say firmly.
"What do you suggest?" Marcus snaps.
He doesn't like the way I'm speaking to him, but it doesn't really matter.
Not anymore.
"I suggest we think fast." I say, irritation edging my tone.
I push past him to move towards the door Natalie and Tris had disappeared through.
When I open the door, the room is flooded with light, lots of chatter moving throughout.
There are cots set up along the room with wounded Abnegation members lying across them.
It takes me a moment to spot Tris on the end with Natalie cleaning her wounds.
Andrew is standing behind them asking Tris questions as Natalie works on her.
"Stiff!"
Zeke's voice sends a little shock through me.
I'd almost completely forgotten that I'd sent him back here.
I turn around instinctively at my Dauntless nickname, but so do half the other people lining the cots.
Zeke is sitting on one of the cots nursing an injured shoulder, his arm fitting nicely into a sling.
I move my way towards him.
"Hey!" I say, relief flooding my voice, a tiny grin gracing my lips in spite of myself.
Knowing he's okay makes my entire perspective lighter.
"Firstly, we should think of a new nickname. At least while we're here. Secondly, what happened to you?"
Zeke shakes his head, grinning.
"I beat the hell out of those guys, that's what happened!"
"What happened to your shoulder?"
He shrugs with his uninjured side.
"Bullet. It's no big deal. Natalie's going to take care of me."
"I'm sorry." I say softly. "I shouldn't have left you—"
"Yes, you should have!" Zeke insists.
"You got Tris back! Wasn't that the whole point? I'm fine, Stiff. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"You can start calling me Tobias, you know. "
"Nah." He shakes his head. "You'll always be Stiff to me."
I sit down next to him on his cot, letting out a long breath.
"Long day?" He jokes, eyebrows raised.
I am so grateful for his sense of humor right now.
"We've got to get out of here." I say quietly. "We're all sitting ducks. They'll find us, and there's no way we can move all of these people to Amity undetected."
"I agree, but what exactly do you suggest?"
I pause for a moment, letting my thoughts settle.
"Jeanine. We have to get to Jeanine. She's running the sim, she has to be."
"How do you figure that?"
"Because she's not in Erudite." I pause for a moment.
"…And she's not here, either."
"How do you know she isn't here?"
"It's too risky. Too dirty. That's why she needed Dauntless in the first place. To do her dirty work. She didn't want to be involved in this part. She's not here."
Zeke nods slowly.
"So, if she's not here…and she's not in Erudite…where is she?"
I shake my head, shrugging my shoulders.
I have no idea.
That's the problem.
For the first time, I wish I had an Erudite mind.
"Dauntless."
Zeke and I both look up at the sound of Tris's voice.
Sometime during my conversation with Zeke, she made her way towards us.
She looks slightly better now that she's managed to calm down and her face has color in it again.
She stands next to the cot, a white gauze bandage pressed against her throat and a white wrap on her arm.
"What?" I question.
"Dauntless. She's running the sim from there. It makes sense." She chews on her lip for a moment.
"Dauntless is empty right now. They're all either here or in Erudite. The best place to run a sim without interference right now would be Dauntless."
The three of us sit in silence for a moment, eyes on the floor, digesting Tris's words.
"So what now?" Zeke finally asks.
"We have to stop the sim. That's the only way to get it to end. If we stop the sim, the Dauntless stop fighting." I say, standing up.
"And to stop the sim, we have to stop Jeanine."
Tris takes in a breath and then nods.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it was going to come to this."
Zeke nods slowly.
"I'm in." he exchanges a glance with me.
"You know I'm in."
Andrew crosses the room towards us, his eyes fixed on me. I can tell he's heard most of our conversation by the look on his face.
"You'll never get Marcus onboard with that. He won't agree with harming her in any way. He still believes this could end in a peaceful reconciliation." He says.
The urge to roll my eyes is heavy, but I resist.
"He doesn't have to be onboard. He hasn't been onboard with anything in my entire life. It never stopped me from doing it."
"He's the leader of Abnegation, Tobias." Andrew reminds me.
"I'm not Abnegation." I say quickly.
"Neither am I." Tris says in a soft voice.
"Ditto that." Zeke chimes in.
Andrew looks between the three of us for a moment and then nods slowly.
"Very well. If you insist on this plan and on taking my daughter with you—"
"I do." I cut him off, quickly.
He lets out a long sigh.
"How can I help? What will you need?"
"We could use some extra fire power." I say quickly, and then I exchange a glance with him.
"Natalie. We could use Natalie. And honestly, we could use your brain. I have no idea how to shut down the sim."
Andrew watches me for a moment and then nods.
"Natalie and I will accompany you into Dauntless if that is what you need." He says in a definitive tone.
"No!" Tris shouts.
We all turn towards her at her outburst.
"What's the matter, Beatrice?" Andrew asks her.
She shakes her head quickly.
"No, I'm not putting you and Mom in danger like that! It's too much. I won't do it. You have to stay here! You have to—"
"Beatrice." He cuts her off quickly. "Your mother and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. Where do you think you get it from?"
He takes a step towards her touching her shoulders.
"I know how hard this is for you. You've been through so much already. There is an end in sight, Beatrice. That's why we're doing this. We're going to be just fine."
He squeezes her shoulders before looking up at me.
"I'm going to discuss things with Natalie and then we'll figure out what we can do about weapons. You should let Marcus know that we'll be leaving." He says before crossing the room towards Natalie.
Zeke stands up from his cot.
He seems relatively steady on his feet, which tells me that his injury is concentrated in his shoulder.
"I'm going to try and get some more of that healing serum from Natalie before we head out." He says quietly, before following Andrew's path across the room.
It is just Tris and me again in an uncomfortable sort of silence.
Finally, I clear my throat and she looks up at me.
"Are you hungry? I think I saw some food in the other room."
She shakes her head, moving to sit down on Zeke's abandoned cot.
"Are you alright?" I finally ask.
She looks up at me, disbelief coloring her expression.
"Is that a real question?"
I shake my head.
"I'm sorry I…I just wish there was something I could do to make this okay for you."
She runs a hand through her hair.
"My life is falling apart. That's never going to be okay."
She closes her eyes, wincing as if her brain is replaying a million bad memories at once.
"What are you thinking about?"
She looks up quickly, biting down on her bottom lip.
"Peter." She says in a shaky voice.
The image of Tris, hovered over Peter while blood pooled around him, had been swimming in and out of my brain since we left Erudite.
"Tris…" I say softly. "It was self-preservation. He would've done the same to you."
"I don't think it was." She says quietly. "I could've let him go. He wouldn't have shot me. He was too scared. I saw it. I saw it in his eyes."
She's quiet for a moment, her hands shaking violently.
She clasps them together quickly to stop it.
"I shot him because I wanted to. Not because I feared for my life."
Her words sink into my chest, making me feel cold all over.
Any words of solace die in my throat.
She looks up at me, a sad, scared expression on her face.
"I'm sorry." She whispers.
"Don't apologize to me. I don't need an apology." I say quietly.
"I just keep thinking…" She trails off, shaking her head, eyes on the floor.
"What?" I press her.
"…That…" Her voice shakes and she closes her eyes for a moment, summoning her strength.
"That…it would be so easy for you to walk away from me now."
I stare at her for a long moment, eyes wide.
"Tris, what are you talking about?"
She shakes her head.
"You haven't looked at me since we left Erudite. Not really. It's always a spot just over my head….or under my chin but never directly into my eyes."
I shake my head slowly.
"Tris—"
"Because you can't. How could you?" She cuts me off quickly.
"Because I messed up. Because there's no coming back from this, because I broke the ultimate rule. I'm different now, I'm dark and how…how could you love me like this? I broke the rules because I wanted to, because he was laughing at me, and he and Jeanine and Caleb tortured me for days and I just…I…snapped. I pulled the trigger because he said I wouldn't and I needed him to be wrong."
Tears are streaming down her face now, fast and hot.
"How can you love me like this?" She finishes, voice shaking.
I drop to my knees, my hands coming up to hold her face.
"Come on, Tris…you know me better than that."
She lets out a tiny sob.
"Listen to me. None of it matters. None of it." I gently turn her head towards me so that our eyes meet. I hold her gaze for a long moment before continuing to speak.
"I'm not the one who's looking away, Tris. You are. Because you think that I shouldn't love you now, that I shouldn't have to look at you, but none of it is true. You're still Tris. You're still my Tris. I'm not giving up on you. I'm here. I'm right here."
I pull her in, holding her tight to my chest for a moment.
"I will love you until the world explodes and even after that. I don't care what you've done or what you will do. You'll always be mine, the same way that I will always be yours."
I pull back for a moment, holding her gaze.
"Is that understood?"
She nods slowly, her bottom lip still trembling.
"I'm not going to tell you that everything's going to be okay…" I say slowly.
"Because I don't know that. What I will tell you is this: when it comes to you and me, there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Spend your energy on other things. Okay?"
She nods again, quickly wiping at her tears with the back of her hand.
I stand up when I notice Natalie and Andrew making their way over to us, pushing a large wooden chest our way.
"Weapons won't be a problem." Natalie assures me once she reaches us.
She opens the trunk to reveal an array of weapons that any Dauntless would be proud to own.
"Where did all of this come from?" Tris questions.
Natalie looks at her for a moment, a slight smile playing across her lips.
"I couldn't give everything up when I transferred from Dauntless. Just in case."
Tris's mouth drops open for a moment as she stares at her mother with wide eyes.
"These are yours?"
Natalie nods.
"They used to be."
Tris stares at her a moment longer and then directs her gaze to the floor.
Her entire world is being turned upside down and the blows just keep coming.
I squeeze her shoulder tightly, an attempt at some type of reassurance, at the very least reminding her that I'm still here.
"I'm going to speak with Marcus." I say to Natalie and Andrew.
"I'll be right back." I say to Tris before crossing the room and moving through the doorway.
In the other room, Marcus is sitting on the bottom stair of the small staircase, his eyes focused on the wall in front of him.
I slowly make my way to him and he looks up at me when I approach.
"Let me guess…" He says in an annoyed tone. "You've come up with a plan that excludes me and puts you and a lot of other people in danger."
"You're more than welcome to help. I just don't think you'll want to."
"Why is that?"
"It involves breaking more than a few Abnegation rules."
"Do you intend on harming Jeanine Matthews?"
"If that's what it takes."
Marcus shakes his head slowly.
"If that's what it takes. You really have spent too much time with your mother." He rolls his eyes.
I cross my arms over my chest for a moment.
"I don't get it." I say in a small voice.
Marcus looks up at me, eyebrows raised, waiting.
"How can you act so righteous when you pick and choose which Abnegation rules apply to you and which don't?"
"I've never broken any rules, Tobias."
"I guess it's not exactly written in the manifesto, but I'm certain that most Abnegation families don't decorate their sons' bodies with black and blue bruises every other night."
Marcus looks up at me sharply, holding my gaze for a moment, but he doesn't respond.
"We're going to Dauntless and we're going to stop Jeanine. Whatever that takes. That's the plan. I just wanted you to know."
"Do you really think that you, a Divergent Abnegation runaway and factionless reject, can take on the smartest woman to ever come out of Erudite?"
I shrug my shoulders.
"Maybe not. But I won't sit here and continue to watch innocent people die."
"It will end, Tobias. At some point it has to, at which point we will move to Amity—"
"I'm done waiting. I'm going to end this now."
"Go." Marcus says, eyes boring into mine. "Go play the hero. Let me know how it works out for you."
I hold his gaze for one more moment before I cross the room in a few quick strides, pushing the door to the other room open and disappearing through it.
Tris
The feeling that I need to throw up is constant, though it's only actually happened once.
We're on the train again, moving far away from Abnegation and towards Dauntless.
I stand with my back pressed against the wall, watching my parents across the train talking in low voices.
They look exactly like the parents I left in Abnegation, but now I know that that isn't true.
I'd never known who they really were, the same as I'd never known who Caleb really was.
I adjust my gaze to the corner of the train where Zeke and Tobias sit. Zeke twirls a shiny black gun in his hand while Tobias plays with a knife.
We're a strange group, but apparently the only ones who are willing to try and fix what's going on.
Tobias catches my gaze, the corner of his lips turning up into a tiny smile.
I try to match his smile, but it's almost impossible.
The muscles in my face seem to have completely forgotten how.
After a moment, Tobias stands up, crossing the train towards me.
When he reaches me, he takes my hand and I squeeze it lightly to let him know that I appreciate the comfort.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks me in a quiet voice.
"Jeanine." I say quickly, chewing on my bottom lip.
"I just can't figure out what her end goal is."
"Power." He says with a little nod.
"It's always a power play. Taking out Abnegation is just the first step toward her reign. Next the Divergents will be eliminated, and then she'll have her perfect world."
I let out a small sigh.
"We can't let that happen."
Tobias nods.
"We won't."
He pulls me into his chest, arms wrapping around me tightly, an attempt at making me feel better.
"I'm fine…" I mumble.
"I know you are." He says, but he doesn't release his hold on me.
It's then that I realize he needs me just as much as I need him.
We stay like that for a long time, my head resting against his chest, his chin on the top of my head.
I almost forgot how perfectly we fit together.
I belong here with him, and every inch of me buzzes with that knowledge.
"It's go time." Zeke's voice makes me pull away from Tobias.
He's standing at the open compartment, staring out at the rushing scenery.
He takes a step back, glancing around at us.
"We should use the initiate entrance. I doubt it'll be guarded."
Tobias nods.
"Good plan." He glances towards my parents.
"Natalie and Andrew should go first."
My father steps towards the open compartment, staring out.
My mother approaches him from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"It's easier if you don't think about it."
The words are barely out of her mouth before he leaps from the open compartment door.
My mother follows suit, looking more graceful than I could've ever imagined.
Zeke turns to the two of us, nods and then leaps from the compartment as well.
Tobias takes my hand, pulling me towards the opening.
"Together?" He asks.
I nod slowly.
He squeezes my hand tightly and we both jump, landing hard on the concrete roof.
My father is sprawled out on the roof as if that was the most intense thing he'd done in years.
My mother stands beside him, holding a hand out to help him up.
Zeke walks towards the drop, staring down.
"I'll see you guys down there."
"Whoa!" Tobias drops my hand and jogs the short distance towards Zeke.
"What if you run into problems down there? Maybe this is a bad idea. We should all go in together—"
Zeke shakes his head.
"You hear a scream, you'll know I need backup and you'll know what to expect. Cool?"
Tobias lets out a small sigh, but nods anyway.
Zeke doesn't waste time before dropping fast into the hole.
A scream doesn't follow.
My father sits up quickly, walking towards the hole.
"Where does it lead?" He asks curiously.
"Into Dauntless." Tobias replies.
"Don't worry, they're not completely insane. There's a net at the bottom."
My father looks slightly relieved.
My mother jumps next.
Then my father.
Then Tobias.
The thought that I could turn and run away now and never come back echoes in my brain for a moment, but the way my heart aches at even the thought of being away from Tobias tells me that I can't do that.
I'm in too deep.
I'm in this whether I want to be or not.
I am where he is; I have to be.
Our heartbeats are too used to echoing each other to be apart for any length of time.
I take a deep breath and then jump.
The free fall through the air makes me remember what I loved about Dauntless.
That feeling in my stomach, part fear and part exhilaration.
Fear is supposed to be something you don't feel in Dauntless, but I spent most of my time there terrified.
The good kind of terrified.
The one that sets your nerves on fire and ignites adrenaline.
When I finally hit the net I am greeted by Tobias's face.
"I thought you weren't going to come for a minute. What were you doing up there?" He asks, holding a hand out towards me.
I take it and gently remove myself from the net.
"Nothing. Just…preparing myself for the jump is all."
My voice echoes strangely and I glance around the large and empty space.
I knew Dauntless would be close to a ghost town now, I just hadn't realized how cold and empty it would feel.
"It's so quiet." I mumble mostly to myself.
Tobias looks over at Zeke and then back to me.
"Where exactly do you think Jeanine is running the sim from?"
Zeke shrugs.
"The easiest place would probably be the control room. There are already computers set up, it would just be a matter of inputting the right information and bringing a few other necessary parts."
Tobias nods.
"Control room it is—"
He's quickly cut off by the loud unmistakable crack of a gunshot.
Instinctively, Tobias grabs me and pulls me out of the way, placing me behind him.
Zeke cocks his gun towards the left side of the room.
It's then that I finally see the three Dauntless soldiers advancing towards us.
Where they came from, I have no idea.
A thudding sound causes me to turn my head to the left.
Once my vision adjusts to what I'm seeing, my entire body goes numb.
"Mom!" The word leaves my mouth before I can really process what's happening.
She's sprawled out on the ground, her legs sticking out at an awkward angle, blood coloring her t-shirt.
"Mom!" I scream again.
Everything feels like it's happening in slow motion, like I'm moving through a fog.
I try to push past Tobias, but he holds me back.
"Tris! No!"
He pushes me to the side as one of the Dauntless soldiers tries to rush me. He takes him out easily with a head-butt and knee to the stomach.
I feel like all the air has been sucked out of me.
All I can think about is getting to my mother.
"Mom!" I call again but before I can make a move towards her, another of the Dauntless soldiers rushes towards me, slamming me against the wall.
I reach for the knife, shoved into a band attached to my side, and press it hard against the Dauntless's throat.
He lets out a cry of pain and releases me.
When I look up I find that Zeke is locked in full physical combat with one of the soldiers and even one-handed he's managing to hold his own.
Tobias is attempting to help my father incapacitate the other.
I rush towards my mother, kneeling down quickly and pulling her head onto my lap.
There's so much blood that it's hard to believe she's still breathing at all, though her chest is still rising and falling a small amount.
"Mom…Mom, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." Tears are streaming down my face and I am powerless to stop them.
She looks up at me, a small smile gracing her lips.
"Beatrice…" She says in a ragged breath.
"I'm so proud of you…"
I let out a sob and shake my head.
"Don't speak…don't waste your energy. We're going to get you out of here...We're going to—"
"Beatrice…" She says again in that same ragged voice.
"You have to keep going."
"No…No…" I shake my head hard.
"I have to stay right here with you…I have to—"
The Dauntless soldier who I had sliced with my blade comes up behind me quickly, wrapping his arm around my neck and pulling me back hard.
I tilt my head backwards, hitting his chin with the back of my head.
He releases me and I turn quickly, reaching for the knife again, this time aiming for his side.
I puncture it once and he sinks to the ground.
I drop to my knees and crawl quickly across the floor, back to my mother.
I lift her head again but this time, her eyes are closed.
"Mom…" I breathe, waiting for her eyes to flutter open and look at me, but they don't.
"Mom! Mom!"
I'm screaming now, shaking her, begging her to wake up.
She has to wake up.
She's my mother and she has to…
"Mom!"
I feel someone kneel down beside me and then warm arms wrap around me.
It takes me a moment to realize the warmth belongs to my father.
I sob into his shoulder for a moment, hardly able to breathe.
I look up through blurry tears and see that the three Dauntless soldiers who had attacked us are lying on the ground with various wounds, incapacitating them enough to give us these few solid moments of time to process what just happened.
"It's alright, Beatrice." My father whispers into my ear.
"It's going to be alright. We've got to go. We have to finish this, Beatrice. For her."
It takes me another moment of sobbing before I can bring myself to calm down.
"The control room." Tobias says. "We have to get to the control room."
My father gently lifts me to my feet, but my eyes are still fixed on my mother.
"I don't want to leave her…" I say in a small, shaky voice.
Tobias lets out a small sigh.
"There's nothing we can do for her now, Tris."
The room is silent for a moment as I bite down hard on my lip to keep from crying all over again.
"I…I can't do this…I can't…" I pull away from my father, and fall back to my knees, leaning down to wrap my arms around my mother.
"I love you…" I whisper, hardly able to breathe through the constant tears.
"Beatrice." It's my father's voice, firm and strong. The one I was used to from my childhood.
"Beatrice, you have to be strong now."
I turn my head quickly to look at him.
"How can you be so calm right now? You loved her!" My voice echoes throughout the empty room.
"Yes." My father says quickly.
"I loved her, and I know that she wouldn't want us to stay here mourning her when there is work to be done."
"Tris, he's right. We have to keep moving. There's nothing more we can do for her." Tobias says again.
Why doesn't anyone understand that I don't give a damn about Jeanine or anything else right now?
My mother is dead.
I watched it happen.
"I don't want to leave her." I say through my teeth.
Tobias kneels down next to me, one hand reaching out to touch my shoulder.
"Tris, I swear we'll come back for her, but right now we need to focus. If we stay here, out in the open like this…We'll never make it to the control room. We'll never get to Uriah or Shauna or anyone else that we love. I need you to pull it together. I need you to do this with me."
I look up at him for a moment and then slowly shake my head.
"She's gone…" I whisper.
"I know…I know, and I know how unfair it is, and I'm sorry."
I lean forward resting my forehead against his chest, taking in a deep steadying breath for a moment.
Then I slowly stand up, wiping my face with the back of my hand.
"Let's go." I say in a shaky voice.
Tobias grabs my hand tightly and we begin the walk through Dauntless headquarters.
The corridors echo as we walk, and are so empty that I have trouble remembering when they were teeming with excited Dauntless life.
When we reach the hallway where the control room is located, we are greeted with more Dauntless soldiers.
More possible death.
More destruction.
My knees almost buckle at the thought of having to mourn one more thing.
"Shauna…" Zeke's shocked voice makes me look up.
Guarding the control room are two Dauntless soldiers.
I recognize them both.
Shauna and Eric.
Zeke tries to take a step forward, but Tobias pulls him back.
"Are you insane? That's not Shauna in there right now and Eric will shoot you so fast you'll never even see it coming. We need to strategize. We need a plan." Tobias whispers.
"I say we plan to take out that son of a bitch Eric and drag Shauna to Amity kicking and screaming."
"Maybe something a little less flaw-ridden." Tobias rolls his eyes a little before directing his gaze to me.
"Any ideas?"
I stare at him for a moment and then reach for the gun he has strapped to his side.
I take it in my hands for a moment and then gently lock the bullets into their chamber.
Then I move out into plain view of the hallway.
"Tris! What the hell are you doing?!"
I hear him, but I don't turn back.
Instead, I make my way down the hall, eyes fixed on Eric.
I'm not even halfway there when I start firing.
Loud cracks erupt from the gun as my finger pulls the trigger.
Several more of the Dauntless flood the hall, but I keep moving.
I am vaguely aware that somewhere behind me Tobias, my father and Zeke followed my impromptu attack.
I use the gun as an extra attachment, slamming it into the nose of a Dauntless soldier, hitting another with the butt of the grip.
It feels good and I have no intention of stopping.
"What the hell—" Eric's voice reaches me and I find myself face to face with him. He grins when he recognizes me.
"You've got to be kidding me." He lets out a loud laugh.
"Who let you out of Erudite?"
I hold the gun out straight, aiming for his head.
He lets out another laugh.
"Is she in there?" I ask, trying to make my voice sound as steady as possible.
"Who?" He says, tilting his head, feigning ignorance.
"Don't play around with me."
"You might want to be less concerned with who is behind this door while your friends are in such trouble."
I swivel around quickly and see Zeke sprawled on the ground, presumably unconscious.
"Zeke…" I breathe.
I do a quick inventory of him and notice that his chest is still rising and falling steadily. Relief floods my veins as I survey the rest of the scene.
My father and Tobias are working as a team, staving off Dauntless soldiers.
They're outnumbered, but they seem to be faring well enough.
"Move, or I swear I'll shoot you."
Eric lets out another laugh.
"Really? You? A Stiff?" He says in disbelief.
"Don't. Test. Me."
"Oh, I think I will." Eric says, turning his head towards Shauna.
"Shauna? Why don't you show your friend what we do with intruders?"
For my entire conversation with Eric, Shauna had done nothing but stare blankly at the wall.
At Eric's words, she turns towards me, her eyes glossy but her moves sharp.
She pushes me hard against the wall, one hand coming up to press against my throat.
"Shauna!" I manage to choke out.
"It's me! It's Tris!"
She shows no recognition at all.
Instead, she raises her other hand, using both of them now to try and choke me.
"Shauna!" I gasp, pulling at her hands, but her grip is too strong.
I can feel my airway constricting, her hands getting increasingly tighter and tighter.
There are spots in my vision now as I try desperately to get in oxygen.
I hear Eric's high-pitched laughter as if through a clogged pipe.
A loud crack sounds and Shauna releases my throat as I gasp hard for air.
Shauna falls to the ground, her eyes focused on the ceiling.
When I look up, I'm confronted with the image of Tobias, staring at me, gun held out towards Shauna.
It's then that I realize it was Tobias who incapacitated Shauna.
He shot her.
To save me.
I'm still gasping for breath as I stare at him.
"Are you okay?" He asks me, the gun shaking in his hand.
I nod slowly, leaning over, my hands on my knees, trying to take in enough air to make my lungs stop burning.
"Andrew!" Tobias shouts.
I look up quickly and see my father locked into combat with Eric.
Eric is bigger, faster, and stronger.
Panic seeps through me.
"Tobias!" I manage to gasp out, but he's already sprinting the length of the room to help my father.
Eric holds my father against the wall with one arm, his other hand reaching for his gun, but Tobias gets there first.
He jams his elbow into the back of Eric's skull so that he releases my father, hits him once, twice, a third time until he's laid flat across the floor.
"Thank you." My father lets out, with a nod towards Tobias.
"Don't mention it." He mumbles.
I move over to Shauna, leaning down over her, gently pressing two fingers to the vein in her neck.
There's a pulse.
A faint one.
But it's there.
I look up at Tobias.
"She's not dead." I say quickly.
Relief floods his face.
I stand up quickly.
"We have to move fast. We're going to have to get her to a medic and soon." I glance over at Zeke lying across the room, his chest still rising and falling subtly.
"They'll both need a medic."
Tobias nods.
"I agree, but I'm not leaving here without shutting down the sim and I think both Shauna and Zeke would appreciate that."
I know he's right, but the fear in my heart for Shauna and Zeke's safety, while they currently lie unconscious, is almost too much to handle.
Tobias turns to face my father.
"We'll take Jeanine. You focus on shutting down the sim, alright?"
My father nods as he and Tobias make their way closer to me.
We stare at the closed control room door for a moment and then Tobias points his gun at the lock.
"No more surprise attacks alright? If you want to make a move, you signal me. This is not a suicide mission. Understood?"
I nod, instant guilt flooding my body from the way I'd acted earlier.
He turns his attention back to the door.
He fires once at the lock.
A second time at both hinges.
A third time at the doorknob and the door swings wide open.