AUTHOR'S NOTE: Helloooo! Hope I didn't make you wait for too long. Here it is, another chapter! It is not as long as the previous one because last one was an extraordinary exception XD Hope you enjoy ;)
CHAPTER XXXV (Piper's POV)
I extended my arm across the bed blindly searching for her coldness. I opened my eyes disoriented when I did not feel her anywhere near; her side of the bed was empty. I let out a loud grumble of complaint highly disappointed by her absence, but I was immediately relieved when I thought that she had probably gone to the kitchen to bring breakfast, as it was already very usual. I took advantage of the few extra minutes in bed and went back to cuddle in the warmth that still remained on my side of the bed. Only then I noticed the soreness in my body. I felt my skin over sensitive, and even the soft silk sheets over my naked body seemed to cause me discomfort. I suddenly sneezed mightily and a pang of pain invaded my head "Ouch…" I muttered; my nose was congested and my throat was dry…I am sick…Realization hit me making me whine of protest; I hated being sick. Through my mind passed the various events of the previous day that surely had made me catch a cold…the freezing air of the morning, the ride under the rain, the things we did in bed, the things I did in bed and the hours I spent naked with her…I could not regret that last part, even when it had cost me a cold; only the memory made me blush deeply…
I decided to wait in bed since I was then less willing to abandon the warm security of the bed, but the minutes passed and she never came with breakfast…That's weird…it usually did not take her so long to go to the kitchen. I sat on the bed with some effort as I felt quite weak, but I was worried about her prolonged absence; my eyes fell on the folded yellowish paper on my nightstand. My heart flipped when I noticed my name written with the most delicate calligraphy…Piper…I squinted at the piece of paper and my hand went to grab it to read its contents…
My dear Pipes,
I had to leave very early in the morning. I have responsibilities that I have not been able to elude any longer. I am very sorry I left without saying goodbye to you, but I did not have the courage to interrupt your peaceful dream. I'll be counting the seconds to see you again.
All yours,
Alex
P.S.: Drink the glass of water; it will do you good for the headache…
I felt truly desolated to know that she was gone for the day; I felt my eyes fill with tears foolishly. What I would have loved the most at that moment was to be pampered by her, and she is gone!...I thought with a hint of resentment. Perhaps the fact that I was not feeling very well made me extra vulnerable. After my initial anger, totally misdirected at her, I came to reason and understood that it was not fair for me to feel anger towards her; she could not know that I felt sick and finally, she had been neglecting her duties to spend time with me, so I regained my composure and decided to go out of bed and go to the kitchen for breakfast. I sat on the edge of the bed wrapped in the sheets and the movement almost made my head explode. I remembered the last line of her note…drink the glass of water…I wondered how could she possibly know about the headache that was tormenting me in that moment, but I did not question her words and took the glass of water she had left on my bedside table. My tongue was dry and patchy almost begging for the clear liquid. I drank the glass to the bottom in copious gulps and the relief was considerable. I stayed put for a few minutes until finally I decided to stand up. I dragged the shits out of the bed with me, not wanting to expose my naked body to the cold air of the morning, although the fire in the chimney seemed renewed; she was careful to add more wood into it before leaving...the simple thought got me an easy smile.
I looked for my clothes and got dressed, I also put on my thick coat even though I had no plans to go outside, and I started walking the long way to the kitchen, very slowly and with special care while descending the stairs since my state was kind of feeble. I finally got to the kitchen and I was glad immediately when my ears registered Nicky's lively voice…
"Look who's here!" She greeted me loudly when she saw me, making me grimace and cover my ears with my hands
"Ouch!" I gasped "Could you…please…not do that again?" I pleaded walking towards the table to take a sit. She laughed entertainingly…
"Crazy night?" She wiggled her eyebrows knowingly
"What?" I asked her confused by her tone and words
"Don't be so vulgar" Red chimed in while smacking Nicky's nape with a loud thud
"You've got to stop doing that!" Nicky complained while rubbing herself behind the head and looking at Red resentfully
"Please…stop the screaming…" I held my head with my hands covering my ears and leaned over the table to press my forehead against it…
"Woah…are you alright?" Nicky asked with concern placing her hand on my back
"I'm not feeling very good…" I muttered
"Let me see you sweetheart" Red came to me and made me raise my face to assess me "You are burning with fever…" She said after removing the strands of hair from my forehead to press her hand on it
"I think I've caught a cold" I told her
"Ohhh poor thing" Red said caressing my face tenderly and then directed her words to Nicky "Why don't you help her get back to the room? I'll go soon with a special breakfast for that cold…"
"Yeah sure…come on…" Nicky stood up to come to my side and offered me her hands to help me on my feet and supporting me on the way back
"Where is Alex?" Nicky asked me when we reached the central stairs…
"I don't know…she left me a note telling me that she had to go very early in the morning…" I explained
"She probably had several petitioners waiting for her favors…" She simply said. I found the way back to bed endless, and when we finally arrived, I got under the sheets with all my clothes on. Nicky helped me to take off my boots and went to look for more layers to put over me "I think what helps most in these cases is to sweat the fever…?" She said in a tone of doubt, as if she did not know very well what to do, making me laugh softly
"Yes, I think that's what they say…" I told her
"Alex is the one who knows about these things…with all the books she has read…" I felt certain sadness that she was not there with me "Red is also very good, but she thinks she can cure mostly through her food" She said rolling her eyes; I felt she was trying to cheer me up with some conversation
"Thank you Nicky…and I think you are good with these things too…" I told her remembering especially my days of convalescence after the accident when I fell of the horse; she never left my side. Red soon arrived with a steaming bowl of soup…
"With this soup you will feel like new…" Red said always taking pride in her food. Nicky looked at me rolling her eyes comically…What did I tell you?...I felt she told me only with her gesture. The truth, the soup was wonderful even though my sense of taste was diminished by my congested nose. As soon as I finished the last spoon, I felt tremendously comforted by the heat it caused inside me.
"Are you cured already?" Nicky asked me mockingly; of course she waited for Red to leave the room to make the joke
"Actually…she might be right about the healing abilities of her food…I'm feeling so much better" I said honestly
"I'm glad to hear that…" She smiled at me fondly "Do you need anything else?"
"No Nicky, thank you…"
"You should try to sleep then…I'll stay around in case you need anything…" She assured me and I settled against the pillows to do so, but I took advantage of the alone time with her to talk about a subject that I had very fresh in my mind…
"Can I…talk to you about…something?" I asked her tentatively
"You know already that you can talk to me about anything Piper" She said smiling at me "But honestly, if this is about sex…I'd rather not know anything about what happens between you and Alex and this bed" Her words embarrassed me deeply; she, like Alex, did not seem to be ashamed to talk openly about such things…
"No no…" I denied anxiously "It's not about…that" I had still some trouble calling it sex… "It's about something that happened two days ago…"
"Alright…tell me about it" She said and paid me close attention
"Like I said, it happened two days ago…" I began "She had taken me to the attic to show it to me…then she played a beautiful piece on the piano she had composed for me…" I added recalling the beautiful memory "We had spent an extraordinary day together and then I think I…ruined it"
"Why would you think so?" She asked me with real curiosity
"I think I made a big mistake by telling her that I…" Again I felt the shame of that moment burning my cheeks "That I…love her"
"You told her that?" She asked me with the strangest gesture on her face, a gesture I did not know how to read so of course, I thought the worst
"Ohhh…I knew it…it was a huge mistake…right?" Then I started to sweat the fever for real
"NO! no!" She quickly added "Piper…" A huge smile was drawn on her lips "I don't think it was a mistake at all…letting people know what we feel about them can never be a mistake…quite the opposite, keeping what we feel to ourselves, that's the real mistake" Her words somehow managed to made me stop regretting having said the words "And you don't know how happy it makes me to know that you love her" She told me with a look full of the purest happiness
"At least someone is happy about it" I said ironically
"What do you mean?"
"Well…that's what I wanted to talk about" I explained "When I told her that, she did not seem very…enthusiastic" The memory filled me with discontent
"Wait…" Nicky said and continued warily "When you told her that you loved her…what did she say?"
"She…told me many things" I tried to recall her words "About…how I was the most extraordinary thing that had happened to her, about how we were bound together by destiny…but in the end, she seemed to be very careful not to say the words back, and afterwards there was certain awkwardness between us…I felt really stupid" I almost wanted to cry again
"I cannot believe it!" She spitted hugely offended "Of course she had to ruin a moment like that…" She snorted heavily "And you should not feel stupid…she is the stupid one" Words barely came out from her mouth through her clenched jaw "The stupidest, mulish creature ever!" I had never seen her so angry
"Why do you say that?"
"Because apparently she is unable to understand the simplest things in the world…and then she thinks she is very wise" I scrutinized her trying to discern her words, and she continued talking softening her tone "Look…I would not even worry about what she said or did not say; believe me, I know her like nobody else and I know that she loves you madly…even if she tries to deny it or avoids saying it…"
"But why would she do that? Why not just accept it?" I asked suspecting that maybe Nicky was just trying to make me feel better telling me those things. She seemed to debate internally whether or not to share what she was going to say next. She took a deep breath and began telling me…
"She is under the impression that she cannot love…"
"What?" I retorted aghast
"She thinks that because of who she is…she's incapable of loving" She elaborated
"But that's…that's absurd" I couldn't believe that she actually believed that of herself…with how caring and tender she was with me
"I know…I've tried to open her eyes but she stubbornly believes that she can't because of her heart…" Her heart…That had caught my attention dearly…
"Her heart? What about her heart?" I immediately registered a change in her face; as if she had just slipped the words by accident…she had obviously said something she was not supposed to say
"Nothing…" She quickly added with a nervous demeanor. I narrowed my eyes at her letting her know that I did not buy that "Please don't tell her we've been talking about this…" She pleaded confirming my suspicions; there was definitely something else, but I was not going to force it out of her, I preferred Alex herself to tell me…
"Fine…but I will ask her anyway…" I said smugly
"Keep me out of that conversation" She warned me sternly widening her eyes and we finished our talk with the excuse of letting me rest. She told me that she would be in the library, that if I needed anything I could ring the bell she left on my nightstand, but after our conversation there was no way I could sleep. Two specific words kept echoing in my mind…Her heart…inevitably, I associated the words with something that had happened the night before; I reviewed the moment in my mind…
After our heated encounter, I found myself lying on her naked torso for an endless time. The place was starting to cool down dangerously, but I couldn't have cared less, which was probably another cause of my cold…The left side of my face was pressed placidly on her chest; I observed with great curiosity the strange mark above her heart and ever so lightly, I began tracing its hard surface with the middle finger of my right hand. She did not seem to care about it so I took the opportunity to assess the scar with detail. The mark was black as coal and quite broad, its length was considerable, as long as my hand. It looked deep and the main line was rather irregular, and from it came small streaks, like little streams that diverge from the main river. I kept wondering what could have caused it…
"It's a weird scar" I barely said, unable to control my curiosity
"Uhm" She murmured as if agreeing to my acknowledgement. I hoped she would tell me about it without having the need to ask her directly, but she said nothing…
"I've been…" I began warily; I feared it was not something she wanted to talk about, but I really wanted to know "…wondering for a long time…what happened to you…" I dared to inquire more manifestly
"You've been wondering for a long time?" She repeated guardedly after some seconds
"Since my second night in here" I remembered vividly the moment I saw the scar, not for the impact of the mark itself, but because it was the first time I had seen her naked. I could not have forgotten that moment…
"How is that even…possible?" She wondered with clear suspicion in her voice
"What?" I did not understand what was so impossible about what I had just said
"That you knew that I had this mark since then…if it was only recently that you saw me naked for the first time…" Then I understood what she meant
"Oh…ammm…" I had been caught pathetically. I would have then to explain that I had seen her naked while sneaking through the ajar door on the second night of my arrival. Of course, the subject made me blush extremely "It's just an expression…you know…to refer to something that seems it happened a long time ago…" I tried to sound nonchalantly
"I think you've been pretty specific…you said since my second night in here" She retorted with amusement knowing that I was keeping something from her "So I'll ask you again…how could you possibly know that I had this scar since then?" She waited for my answer "Piper…" She said my name cautiously pressing me to speak…I let out a snort of exasperation and agreed to tell her…
"Fine!..." I exclaimed annoyed by her insistence and propped up by my left elbow to see her in the face "But you must promise you won't make fun of me" She narrowed her eyes thinking about it
"I don't know if I want to do such thing…it seems a promising story" She said mockingly and I changed my mind about telling her
"Alright…then you'll never know" I said unflappably and withdrew from her, turning around in bed to turn my back to her
"No no no…wait!" She was already grasping my waist with her arms from behind but I was firm with my resolve and kept my position "I'm sorry…" Although it was really hard when she placed her lips right on my ear "I promise…I'll do my best not to make fun of you…" That was better than nothing, and surely the most I could get out of her "Pleeeeease…" She begged leaving me powerless; I turned around again until I was lying on my back and we were facing each other. I looked at her carefully and in the end, I ended up by telling her my little secret…
"It happened on my second night in here…" I began while catching some loose dark strands that fell from her head "I was bringing the water for your bath…" Her face grew somber for an instant, probably she did not like the memory of those times when I served her and she had left me on Sylvie's hands, so I proceeded to tell her the rest of the story very quickly and keeping a light demeanor "Remember? I had dropped a bucket of water…"
"Yeah…I remember…" Her voice denoted some sadness
"Well…it turns out that I dropped the bucket because Sylvie almost caught me looking at you through the crack of the slightly open door" I smiled genuinely by how things had changed since then between us; then I would have never imagine myself lying naked next to her on her bed "I was going to knock on the door but…I was distracted by watching you taking off your clothes and I saw you…naked" I whispered and lowered my sight to her chest a little embarrassed by telling her the story
"I cannot believe you…" She said with an unfamiliar tone that made me look up at her to assess her face warily "Sneaking around!" She highly disapproved "I don't think that's a proper thing to do, especially not for a princess" Only then I realized that she was messing with me, when her severe gesture began to fade into a mischievous smile
"Look who's talking about sneaking around!" I replied with a sharp voice smacking her slightly on her shoulder and leaving her confused "I remember that you also had the opportunity to see me naked without my permission"
"Excuse me!" She chimed in and continued justifying her actions "If I saw you naked without your consent it is only because you were unconscious" I had no idea what she was talking about…
"Unconscious?" When did that happened? Had she been seeing me naked while I slept?
"When you fell from the horse…" She explained…I had not thought of that and I felt sorry for thinking the worst
"You…you saw me naked then?" I felt strangely self-conscious knowing that little piece of information…
"I had to take off your clothes to assess your body looking for wounds…" She explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "But don't worry…I did not sneak on your naked body if that's what you are worried about…believe me, your nakedness was the last thing in my mind at the time" She made sure to explain the episode to me
"Anyway…I was not referring to that time…" I told her smiling at her warmly
"What time then?"
"To when I was recovering from the accident…I was taking a bath in your bathroom…" I recalled "I had dozed off in the bathtub and when I got out of it I found you staring at me through the mirror" She furrowed her eyebrows as if trying to remember…
"I really don't know what you are talking about" She finally said innocently
"Oh come on! I'm quite sure that you'd been watching me for a while"
"And?" She said unflappably "What if I did?" I snorted with indignation...
"You should…be ashamed for your actions" I told her adamantly; I wanted her to feel ashamed just as I was for my little confession
"I watched you very carefully as you came out of the tub…" She confessed after assessing me with narrowed eyes, but I could not notice a shred of shame on her face, quite the opposite, she seemed to enjoy the admission of what she did. She continued speaking dropping her voice delectably "I have the image engraved in my eyes…of sparkling drops of water running down the smooth curves of your naked body…" My breathing suddenly was numbed "I watched everything…is that what you wanted to know?" I simply nodded embattled and she resumed the talk with a casual tone "I could have disappeared in an instant and you would never have known that I had been there with you, but you know what…?" She asked me bringing her face closer to mine "I did not care that you got me…I actually enjoyed that you seemed to be aware of it" Her impudence was fascinating; nothing seemed to embarrass her "In fact…I think you enjoyed it too…am I wrong?" She inquired playfully with her face barely an inch from mine
"Enjoy?" I asked in disbelief while laughing "I got completely nervous! You made me feel…things…which were unknown to me…it was mostly embarrassing" I remembered the feeling of self-consciousness she had left behind too vividly
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way but…In my defense I must say that you are easily ashamed for…anything…" She laughed humorously. I wanted to refute her statement but she was right
"And maybe you are too…" Insolent, impudent, brazen, cheeky…Various adjectives came to my mind "Barefaced" I said at last more than satisfied with finding the right word. She raised her eyebrows in enjoyment
"I'll take that as a compliment…" She had even the nerve to say "And just so you know…there is nothing that I enjoy more than your diffidence" She released a raspy chuckle and pressed her lips on mine to kiss me affectionately.
After our conversation, we settled under the sheets getting ready to sleep; I was exhausted. Then I realized that still I did not know how she had gotten that scar…I had the suspicion that somehow, she had diverted the subject deliberately, so I let it go and at some point I fell asleep…
But after my conversation with Nicky, I was determined to get to the bottom of it; somehow I needed to bring up the subject again. I would find a way to do it when she got home. For the moment, I decided that it was better to try to sleep, that way the hours could pass more quickly and maybe, if a was lucky, when I woke up she would be there with me. The simple thought encouraged me to fall asleep right away. Unfortunately, she had not yet arrived for when I woke up again…I could not help but to make a sound of complaint when I saw Nicky watching me from the chair she placed next to the bed…
"Nice seeing you too" She said with heavy sarcasm
"I'm sorry…I was hoping she would be back for when I woke up" I said
"No she's not back…" She smiled at me "How are you feeling?" She got closer to place her hand on my forehead
"Awfully" I muttered
"Yeah…I think your fever is up again" She said apologetically "I better go find Red…" She said and left in a hurry. I thought that what contributed the most to my discomfort was her absence…When would she return? I kept thinking
Red's attentions were much more effective than Nicky's. She placed hot wet handkerchiefs on my forehead and arms and very soon my fever seemed mollified. At lunchtime, she was back with another succulent bowl of soup; I was not very hungry then and Nicky kept forcing me to finish everything…in the middle of Nicky's coaxing to make me have another spoonful, she appeared…
"What's going on?" I heard her voice before seeing her figure
"Well well…look who's finally home!" Nicky greeted her
"Piper…" She assessed me and climbed into bed to reach me "What happened?" She asked tenderly cupping my face. The relief that her chilly hands brought within me was instantaneous
"She's got a cold…" Nicky chimed in and Alex turned her head to asked her
"Why in hell didn't you call me?" She inquired harshly
"I did not think it necessary to bother you if you had things to do" Alex did not seem to like the answer
"It was not up to you to decide such a thing" She replied severely
"Alex!" I called her attention and she turned her face to me; I thought it was rude of her to talk to Nicky like that "She's right…it's just a cold…besides, I've been in very good hands" I smiled to reassure her "Nicky and Red have been taken care of me all day" She softened her severe face
"I would still have liked to be the one to take care of you" She said with tenderness
"You can take care of me now" I assured her smiling broadly at the sense of happiness
"Ohhh man…I should better go" Nicky said; for a second I had totally forgot that we had company "I'm feeling slightly sickish suddenly"
"Thank you Nicky…for everything" I said as she walked towards the door…
"You are welcome!" She said cheerfully over her shoulder and got out the room
"Maybe I should apologize to her…" Alex said softly "Will you be fine if I leave you for a minute?" The last think I wanted was her to get away from me for another minute…but I liked that she wanted to apologize to Nicky
"I'll be fine…go!" I cheered her and she left instantly after giving me a quick peck on my lips. I tried not to count the seconds…It's just a minute Piper, you can be without her for another minute…I kept repeating in my mind until she was finally back
"I apologized for my rudeness and…I thanked her for taking care of you" She let me know while walking towards the bed "She told me that you don't want to take your soup" She sat on the very chair that a moment ago was occupied by Nicky and grabbed the bowl of soup that she left on the nightstand "But I'm sorry to tell you that you are going to have to take it all…" She said taking a spoon to my mouth, which I accepted delighted. When I finished my soup, she took off her boots and climbed onto bed to sit next to me; she put her right arm over my shoulders and brought me to her, inviting me to lay my head on the crook of her neck. I felt her lips on my forehead… "You are still burning up a little…I will have to prepare something for the fever if it does not come down soon…"
"But…not too soon…stay here for a while" I said as I passed my right arm over her torso to gently cling to her waist, reluctant to let her go not even for another minute. She chuckled and kissed the crown of my head inhaling my essence
"Don't worry, I will not go anywhere" Her words enlarged my chest with bliss
"I missed you…" I said with a smile plastered all over my face
"I missed you too…and I'm so sorry for leaving you" She said with a hint of sadness "If I had known that you were sick, I would have stayed by your side…"
"It's alright; you could not know…the important thing is that now you are here"
"Still…I'm mad at Nicky for not letting me know" She said sourly
"I wanted to ask you about that" I said remembering the recent exchange between her and Nicky
"About what?"
"You told Nicky that she should have called you…How can she do that? If she did not even know where you were"
"That's easy…she simply has to think of me" She answered casually
"And that only works with Nicky?" I wondered
"No, it works with anyone…"
"But I've been thinking about you all day…!" I said with annoyance since apparently it did not seem to work with me, which caused her to laugh animatedly
"Probably because you've thought of me as…Alex…" How else if not as Alex? "To invoke me, you have to think of me as The Warden…" She answered my internal question
"Awww…I see" I said with realization "As I did the night we met" I remembered the time I had invoked her to save my people
"Exactly…so now you know…in case you ever need me and I'm not around, all you have to do is to think of the Warden…"
"I'll keep it in mind" I said smiling gloriously at such information thinking how I would make use of that wonderful knowledge…
Her presence seemed to have soothed me so much that although I had been sleeping all morning, I got back to sleep against her chest, while she tenderly stroked my hair by tangling her fingers between my strands and her cold lips pressed on my forehead appeasing the heat of my fever. When I opened my eyes again I was alarmed when I felt my head resting against the pillows instead of against her chest…
"Warden?" I asked tentatively, barely whispering. I heard her distinctive raspy chuckle
"Aren't you the greediest girl in the world?" She spoke amused "I was away only for a couple of minutes to prepare you this…" I saw her standing beside the bed and noticed a little clay mug between her hands "This will take away your fever" She guaranteed placing the mug on the bedside table and leaned over me to help me sit supporting my back on the headboard "I must warn you…it probably tastes as hell" She said while handing me the mug. I cupped it in my hands and brought it closer to my nose. The smell of herbs made me wrinkle
"It smells terrible, that's for sure…" I did not want to imagine how it tasted like
"You must drink it all" I had no escape under her watchful sight, I had to drink it "It will do you good, I promise"
"Argh!" I slightly complained before taking the first sip. I detected a slight bitter taste; It was not nice, but neither undrinkable. I still hurried to drink it all before I changed my mind and just in case, I pinched my nose with my free hand and gulped down the whole thing "There…" I said victoriously handing her the empty mug and relished in the remaining aftertaste in my mouth "Actually…it was not so bad" I said on second thought
"I'm truly impressed…" She said as if proud of me and continued speaking nonchalantly "I thought you would not find lizard's eyes delicious"
"Lizard's eyes?" I asked aghast
"The best remedy to fight a fever" My stomach contracted and I felt disgusted, I wanted to puke. She began laughing as if she could not contain the laughter anymore. She had fooled me
"You…" I looked at her severely
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it…" She said contrite
"You should be here by my side making me feel better, not making fun of me" I reproached her
"You are absolutely right…" She retorted putting on a serious face and getting into bed again with me "I'm sorry…" She apologized hugging me tightly against her. She laid her back on the pillows, and I wrapped her torso with my right arm and rested the left side of my face right on the space between her right shoulder and her neck…
"Apologies accepted…" I said after settling comfortably "And just to be clear…what was in that drink?" I asked to be sure
"Only herbs…I swear" She reassured me "It will make you feel progressively at ease and sleepy, and when you wake up again, you'll feel so much better"
"But I don't want to sleep" I complained…I wanted to be with her, I did not want to go back to sleep "I want to be with you…"
"You are with me…" She pointed out
"I want to be aware of it…not…unaware of it" I said already feeling somehow at ease, like she said I would
"I won't leave your side, not even for a second, I promise…I'll be right here and tomorrow we will have all day to be together" I murmured with pleasure at the prospect
"Mhmmm…that sounds perfect" To my great discontent I suddenyl found myself in the need to go to the bathroom...I growled very low
"What is it?" She asked in alarm
"I think I need to get up..." I told her
"Are you going to puke?" It was her first assumption
"No...I need to go to the bathroom" I said sheepishly
"Oh! Alright...come on" She helped me out of the bed and without questioning me, she carried me in her arms
"I can walk..." I let her know
"I don't want you to walk" She said and kept walking towards the bathroom
"Wait wait!" I made her stop at the bathroom's door "What are you doing?" I asked cautiously when I sensed her intentions to go in with me
"Taking you to the bathroom" She explained bewildered
"I'll need you to wait outside" I told her
"Why?" She retorned completely oblivious to the problem
"Because!" I was not going to let her in with me while I was doing my needs... "Just wait outside!" I ordered anxiously
"Fine...but please let me know if you need help" She finally agreed
"Alex...is just a cold...I think I can manage to go to the bathroom without your assistance" I assured her and reluctantly she dropped me to the floor gently.
"Are you alright?" She asked through the door after a couple of minutes, not helping to the privacy I needed
"Could you give me some privacy?" I complained and she did not answer fulfilling my demand. It took me a while because it took me some work to strip me of the long shirt and breeches and put them back again...when I got out of the bathroom, the first thing she did was taking me again in her arms making me giggle...She sat me on the bed and I thought it would be more comfortable to take off my day clothes and put on a more appropriate attire to go to bed... "Maybe I should take these clothes off and put on my camisole..." As soon as I said it she went to the closet to grab the garment
"What? Can't I assist you with this task either?" She inquired after observing my exasperated face when she began helping me to take off my clothes. I loved that she cared for me, but she could be a little extreme sometimes. I did not need her help to undress myself, but I let her; she seemed satisfied when I let her take care of me. Ever so gently, she took off my clothes and despite how innocent the whole action was, my heart could not help beating mightily when she left my upper body exposed even if only for a second, because she inmmediately put on my nightgown... "There you go..." She said when finishing the task leaning down to kiss me on my forehead "Now go to bed...you need to rest..." I got into bed and she followed me behind. She settled down beside me, slightly propped up on the pillows and offered me her body as always to support my head. I nestled my head on my favorite spot, on her right side, just under her collarbone. I was reluctant to fall asleep, so I fought against the soothing effects of the brew that were starting to be noticed by me to stay awake as long as possible "You never told me in the end…about your scar" I said without thinking about it, straight as an arrow; maybe the brew had helped me in the process to loosen my thoughts through words
"No I didn't…and honestly, I don't think you want to know…" So she had not told me for my sake…
"I think I do want to know…" I returned stubbornly. If in any way, that was related to her inability to love me back, I thought I had the right to know. I felt her chest rise; she breathed deeply and hooked her left hand behind my neck, dragging my face to the other side of her chest. She pressed my head firmly right above the scar without saying a single word "What are you doing?" I asked her cautiously
"Shhhh…listen" I did what she told me and listened…I listened intently and after a while I began to question what was it what she wanted me to hear…
"I don't hear anything…" I said finally
"Exactly…" She said making me furrow my eyebrows in wonder. I withdrew from her chest and raised my face to look at her, propping myself a bit with the help of my arms to reach the height of her eyes "You can't hear anything because there is nothing to hear" She explained when I locked my eyes with hers. Probably my puzzled face was what made her elaborate her cryptic explanation "I don't have a heart" The words came out of her mouth like a sigh. Then everything was clear…
"Is that why you think you can't love me?" I asked her. The crease in the middle of her eyebrows made me regret the question
"Who told you that?" Oops…I had failed to leave Nicky out of the conversation "No…forget about it…I know the answer already" She said annoyed
"She did not do it on purpose…" I felt the need to intervene on Nicky's favor "And it doesn't matter anyway…I was going to assume it once you told me what you just told me…" Then my mind began to work on her words…she doesn't have a heart…another trait of her that added to the growing list of things that should frighten me to know, but as always, instead of terrifying me, I ended up by finding it intriguing "I want you to answer my question…is that the reason why you didn't tell me that you love me back?" I asked directly
"Yes…" She barely whispered with heavy grief
"Do you really believe that you are incapable of loving because of it?"
"Tell me…how could someone love without a heart?" The sense of vulnerability was tangible in her voice. I thought very carefully about her question...
"I don't love you with my heart…" I said after a moment of meditation, irritated by her ridiculous conjecture "I…I love you with all my being Alex…not just with my heart" I was determined to make her understand "What I feel for you cannot in any way be limited only to the heart…that would be too…poor" She was paying close attention to my words "Look…" I told her, holding my right hand in a fist in front of her "Once my father told me that our hearts were the size of our fist" She fixed her eyes on my fist and I saw the hint of a beam tugging the corner of her mouth "It would be impossible for something so small to contain something so large…" She wrapped my fist with her long fingers easily
"It's a very small heart indeed" She pondered with a smile and nailed her gaze again on me, never letting go of my fist, holding it against her chest…
"Certainly, my heart goes crazy every time I see you, or every time you touch me or kiss me…" I had to admit, but the things she caused in me went beyond...How could I explain the things she made me feel? "But my skin…I felt it melting under your touch, even the slightest feathery caress is enough to make it burn…and my lips get itchy just thinking of your lips and my mind…my mind keeps storing every little detail about you and every memory of the moments we share, I keep them as a treasure…and my ears delight themselves when they hear your laughter and my nose gets so joyful when it registers your unique essence…" I could continue telling her all the blissful havoc she caused in me, but it would take me hours to do so...She kept watching me closely, with eyes brighter and clearer than ever "I don't want you to tell me that you love me…" Honestly, after talking with Nicky and after finding out about her heart, it was not something I needed to hear anymore "What annoys me is that you think you are incapable of loving when the only thing you do every day is making me feel wonderfully loved" I finished and she seemed lost in my gaze. Ever so slowly, she drew her left hand to caress my cheek and brought me closer to her to join her lips delightfully with mine…"Mhmmm…wait" I said retiring away from her "I'll make you sick"
"You know I can't get sick, right?" She told me amused; right away I leaned towards her to resume our kiss but she dodged me leaving me perplexed "Still…I don't think you should be in contact with cold things…" She joked bringing desolation to my soul; I missed her lips already "We must keep you warm" She gave me an affectionate little kiss on the tip of my nose and settled me down, pressing my head against her chest again after wrapping me carefully with the covers so as not to touch her body directly "I want you to go to sleep and get some rest…" In truth, I was feeling exhausted and it was starting to be an impossible task to keep my eyelids open; the herbal concoction was beginning to work unexpectedly, making my head foggy
"What have you given me?" I asked her mumbling. I heard her laughter buzzing in her chest and nothing more…
"Have sweet dreams" I think she said, although her voice already sounded miles away
"I will…" I barely muttered and collecting my last ounce of strength, I thought I got to say in the end "I love you"
"I love you too" I couldn't say if I really heard that while some awareness still remained in me, or if it was a simple product of my mind already heavily dull by the effects of the brew. That night was a dreamless night, or maybe my dream had been so deep that I would not remember anything…