Total Humor Island
Episode 38: Bilingual Bonus
Geoff and Bridgette were on a date in a Spanish restaurant. Alejandro was their waiter.
"Hey, uh, we'd like to order." Geoff signaled to Alejandro.
"Diga lo que quiere." Alejandro takes out his notebook. Geoff looks at him puzzled. Alejandro looks a bit annoyed.
"Uh… yeah, uh… I just want to order some food?" Geoff seems somewhat nervous.
"Usted entiende el Castellano?" Alejandro gains a delighted face when Geoff looks at him, puzzled. "Pendejo, usted no tiene ni idea de lo que le digo, verdad?'
"Huh? You only speak Spanish?" Geoff looks at his date, who seems somewhat entranced by Alejandro.
"Oye, pendejo, esta chava esta bien rica." Alejandro looks at Bridgette. "Quiero que me chupe la pinga."
"Hey, uh, you speak any English?" Alejandro nods, Geoff is relieved. "Ah, must be part of the job, you can only speak Spanish."
"La chavita tuya tiene cara de putita. Se nota que se la mamaria a cualquiera." Alejandro winks at Bridgette, who giggles.
"I have no idea what you've just said." Bridgette blushes. "But I'm flattered."
"Anyway, I want… this." Geoff points to a picture.
"Ah! Te dare comida de gato, jamas notaras la diferencia." Alejandro does the 'gourmet' hand sign.
"I'd like some of this." Bridgette points to another picture.
"Voy a escupir en tu comida." Alejandro winks at Bridgette. She blushes.
"Could you recommend a good wine?" Geoff fiddles with his tie.
"Le voy a traer Agua de Culo." Alejandro gives him the thumbs up. "Y para postre, voy a coger tu puta y la voy a chingar por el culo."
"Ok! That sounds good!" Geoff dismisses Alejandro.
"Hijo de la gran puta." Alejandro goes off laughing.