A Night and Day Confession:

I sat at the fire, rolling over the logs in it from time to time to keep the blaze going. Flame, seeing as there was no room to sleep comfortably, came over and rested next to me. I wasn't quite sure how Flame would react to me, so I let him lay where he was.

I poked the fire and sighed as I leaned on fist. Night watch was never a glamorous job, but I wasn't going to trust Kirche to do it, I wasn't going to bother Shin, and I didn't want Louise to stay up all night. It lead to an interesting dilemma for myself. If I didn't get any rest tonight, I wouldn't be fit to ride in the morning. But if I didn't stay up, the horses could easily wander off and/or be preyed upon by who knows what was in this forest. Flame could help keep look out, but he wouldn't be much use to keep the horses or alert the others.

I churned multiple scenarios and possibilities in my head to not disturb the others and still be ready in the morning. I must have dozed off at some point, because I found myself waking up to the weight of a blanket being hung over my shoulders. I panicked for a second, thinking someone was trying to kidnap me in the dark, but I only found the placid face of my brother to meet me. I sighed and shrugged the blanket off, handing it back to him.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Keep it and get some rest, I'll keep watch." Shin said without taking the blanket and walking to the opposite side of the fire. I wrapped the blanket around me, but I didn't go to sleep. Shin and I sat there for a solid ten minutes without a word said between us, with only the crackle of the flames to break the silence between us.

I decided to break the silence, more for feeling uncomfortable than actually wanting to talk to Shin. "So, what did Katra say to make you decide to come along?"

"She said you and your familiar were going on a suicide mission she couldn't persuade you from canceling." Shin said immediately. After a pause, he added "And it doesn't look like I'll be able to either."

"Wait, did you purposefully give misdirection's so we wouldn't be able to continue?" Shin was only quiet. "You had to have known that wasn't going to work. If we missed the path, we would have gone straight to the-" I stopped and thought. "Town. Where I would have been wrapped up and wouldn't have been able to meet Wales in time!" Shin said nothing and continued to stare into the fire. I thought I would be angrier, but all I could do was ask "Why?"

Godrick walked over to Shin and laid next to his master, who stroked his head absently as he answered me. "I don't want you to go to Albion."

"Well that's obvious, but you know I have to. Wales asked me to come, and there's no way I can just ignore him."

"Of course you can, you've ignored me for six years." The sting of his comment hit home hard, even with his monotonous tone.

"I've been where I've always been. You could have come home at any time."

"And you could have contacted me at any time as well."

"I had no reason to!"

"And you have no reason to go to Wales!" Shin snapped at me. Godrick raised his head in alarm, but Shin pet him to calm him, giving a sigh as well. "Saito, I'm trying to save you."

"But I don't need saving." I said with a cautionary glance to how close each of our swords and wands were. Actually, I hadn't seen his wand yet. "And I don't need to be saved by you."

For some reason, that single comment made Shin start to tear up. I couldn't believe Shin actually had emotion left. I think even Shin was surprised by his reaction, because as he wiped up the tear, he began a sad chuckle.

"I don't even know the last time I cried." He laughed. "I don't even know why I'm crying now." He chuckled a bit more before he stopped and asked me an abrupt question. "You hate me, don't you Saito?"

I was stunned by the question, and made me think back on my actions towards Shin. "I- I wouldn't say hate, but…"

"Come on Saito, neither of us have talked to the other in six years. If we didn't hold at least some hate towards each other, why would it take us this long to talk?"

I just stared at the fire and thought. Between the time of our last sparring match and the familiar exhibition, we hadn't seen nor spoken to each other. I thought back to the day when Shin and I sparred, how he had easily beaten me, and how he didn't give up until Katra came out to stop him. Just thinking of that time made my wrists hurt from how Shin had effortlessly batted my sword away.

"Shin?" I said as I looked up to my brother.

"Yeah Saito?"

"What happened?"

"I guess we kind of stopped talking after that sparring match, I guess."

"I know that. I mean, what happened to make you do that?" Katra had asked me to reconnect with Shin, I guess now is a good time as any. Shin just stared at me, frowning.

"That was the day everything changed for me." Shin said as he looked down at Godrick. "It was the day I failed my mission, and I failed my troops."

"But, you've never failed a mission." I said, a bit confused.

"Not before, and not since. But that day was the only failure I ever needed." Shin stopped petting Godrick and folded his hands together in front of himself. "I lost my squad that day."

"Well, I'm sure one failed mission doesn't prompt a demotion-"

"No Saito, I lost them, all of them. They were all slaughtered. And it was because of my overconfidence." I didn't have anything to say, and Shin didn't seem like he was going to continue, but he did. "It was my first command, a simple job, find some bandits, that was it. Bring some rogues to justice. And I screwed it up Saito, it all went to hell." Shin slammed his fist on his thigh. "All but two of us died that day."

I felt like I needed to say something to calm him down, something to let Shin know that that was in the past. It was a scar from six years ago and he needed to forget the incident. But as I saw him look up at me, I saw Shin, I saw my brother for the first time in six years. Not the commander of troops, not a stone statue, but my actual brother, and I saw that he had been holding this pain close to himself. So I sat there, patiently, for him to continue.

"I was only leading a small platoon, hell, it was barely that. We had finally pinned the thieves' main base down to a cave system near our eastern border. All we needed to do was flush them out. We had gotten into position and even had some success of grabbing a few who tried to flee just as we arrived. But it was all a trap, the location, the captures; even the intel we had was probably faulty. The next thing I know, we're in a stone valley being shot down by arrows and spears. It wasn't until a week later I was able to piece together that the base had been an illusion.

"We lost five men in the surprise. Roy, Michel, Hughes, Alphonse, and Joseph, they all fell before we could raise any sort of defense. I thought it would be fine, we would just wait for them to run out of munitions and we could charge them. But then the confusion made sense when a mage came out to help.

"He was completely in black with only a white facemask. He sent wave after wave of boulders down upon us. I tried my best to hold them back, but there was to many of them. And by the time my wind-shield failed, the thieves were on us. They slit the throats of Monty and Brian and stabbed Luke through the side. I don't remember much after that, only trying to fend them all off and seeing blood flying everywhere. Only when Godrick flew in and picked me up did I see the full carnage. And even then, the bandits were picking their corpses of their armor and weapons."

Shin went silent. Tears were freely flowing now, but Shin did nothing about them. I really wanted to say something, anything to let Shin know I was here for him, but Godrick gently nuzzled his master. Shin gave a small sigh and smile as he pet Godrick's beak. It was all that Shin seemed to need to calm down. So I sat and listened to Shin's story, it was the least, and probably the most, I could do. Shin wiped his tears away and continued.

"After Godrick got me out of there, I asked him to take me somewhere safe. I only meant for physical safety, but he brought me home. Home where you and Katra were both smiling and happy, blind to the world. I lost it, and you were the closest thing I could find to take my frustration out on. It sounds so wrong now to say, but at the time, it just felt right."

"And after that, you went back to the capital." I finally spoke. "And from then on, you worked a diligent post."

"A diligent, detached post." Shin nodded. He looked me in the eye. "You may not know, but I knew each of my platoon by name, all thirty of them. And I lost all of them."

"But, not all, right? You said two of you survived." I said this, trying to bolster Shin's spirits, but it seemed to only do the opposite.

"Yeah, the two of us, me and Wardes, the only two men who could run from the carnage." Shin said in a bitter tone.

That was all Shin needed to say to make me go quiet in thought. Wardes had been one of our family's closest friends, I knew how powerful of a mage he was, and even he couldn't help. I just sat there, thinking of what Shin had to have done to not lose himself to such guilt and pain by now, and his cold demeanor made sense now. As one act that I could take without disrupting Shin, I stood up and walked around to him and sat down.

"You're not alone Shin."

"I know I'm not Saito, but that doesn't help." Shin said, reverting back to his emotionless voice, staring into the fire. "Get some sleep, I'll wake you up before we leave."

"Sure." I nodded as I stood up to sleep next to the tent. "And Shin?" He looked up at me. "Thanks for opening up." I smiled, and as a surprise, Shin returned it.

"Only for you, Saito."

…

The next morning, if it could be called that, was a cold one. The tent was torn down and we were on our way ten minutes after Shin had woken all of us up. Kirche complained profusely about not being able to make herself decent, but Louise explained how impractical actually doing that as of now would be pointless.

Kirche simply groaned in irritation as she mounted her horse, waiting long enough for Flame to hop in his carrier before moving. Shin took off with Godrick to help point out our continuing trail. When Louise and I were ready to go, we headed out.

I would probably never admitted it out loud, but it felt nice to ride with Louise. My school cloak did a decent job of keeping the morning chill out, but having Louise up against me made me feel comfortably warm. I don't even think I would have noticed how close I was getting if Louise hadn't spoken up.

"Saito? You're squishing me a bit." Louise said as she squirmed to get some room.

"Ah, sorry. It's just a bit chilly." I said quickly before leaning back.

"I guess it would be, we are near the lake after all."

"Right, right." There was a pause of silence before Louise spoke again.

"So, how do you think you and Shin are going to act during this mission?"

"I think we'll be just fine Louise. We came to an understanding last night." I said as I looked up to see Shin and Godrick keeping a steady pace with us on the ground.

"Are you sure he's up to this mission?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking down at Louise, who was intently looking ahead.

"I don't think he could deal with losing you to the Albion war, that's all."

I considered what she said before forming my own point. "You were listening last night weren't you?"

"N-Not really." Louise said quickly, looking down. "I was just, kind of, awake when you two were talking, and the night was really silent. I swear I've never eavesdropped before. It was just-"

"To easy to. I get it." I sighed, looking back up. "But I think you're right, I don't think Shin could deal with losing me." I then looked ahead to see Flame looking back at us. "Was Kirche up?"

"Not that I could tell. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to stay still if she heard." There was a brief pause. "So, what are you going to do? To not die?"

"It's simple Louise, we make this trip as quickly as possible. We make sure that we don't put ourselves in a compromising position."

"That's easy to say, but we can't control everything around us." Louise looked up. "We've both seen what that does to someone." I kept my eyes forward, but I glanced down to see how Louise looked. There was a look of pity in her eyes, and it was understandable, but I don't think that's what Shin wanted or needed.

"Well, keep this information to yourself Louise. I'm sure Shin doesn't need the entire kingdom knowing."

"Right, right." Louise said quietly as she looked forward again. "But you know, it makes me wonder."

"About what?"

"What my own family is doing right now." I sucked in my breath, waiting for a torrent of accusations and cries of despair to come, but instead, Louise was laughing. "This'll sound ridiculous to you, but I don't even think anyone will notice."

"How can you say that?" I looked down in confusion. "I'm sure they miss you."

"How can you be certain? For all I know, I've been gone for ten minutes back home. That's how it's usually explained."

"How what is explained?" I asked, completely confused on how Louise could be taking this so well.

"Fantasy and science fiction usually explain fantastic journeys like this with some sort of time displacement. I think the only one who would notice is Éléonore, wanting to know where I am at all times." Louise continued to chuckle as I began to ponder.

Louise thinking of going home had been one of my greatest wishes and worst nightmares. On one hand, I couldn't start to think to live without Louise now, but on the other, I felt obligated to return her to her rightful place. She had her own goals in life, her own dreams, and I had taken those from her. But here she was, addressing that issue right in front of me, and laughing it off like it was nothing. It both comforted and disturbed me at the same time.

"Besides, Éléonore never did approve of you." Louise nearly whispered.

"What?" I asked, snapping to attention.

"What?" Louise looked up at me, startled. "Did something happen?"

"You said something about your sister."

"Yes, she always did want to know where I was." Louise repeated.

"No, after that."

"I didn't say anything after that." Louise looked at me confused. "I think this forest is a bit to quiet Saito, you're beginning to hear things."

"Maybe you're right Louise." I said, but in reality I knew I had heard her talk. "Say, Louise."

"Yeah Saito?"

"Have you ever heard of anyone having split personalities before?"

There was a brief pause before Louise answered. "I have, but I've never known anyone who has had it before. Why?"

"Well," I looked for a reason that wouldn't implicate her. I looked up and saw Shin. "What do you think would happen to Shin if I did die?"

"Saito! That's not a question to ask!" Louise looked back at me in shock.

"But look what death has done to him before. I'm concerned, that's all."

"Do you plan on dyeing then?"

"No! No, I'm only thinking."

"Then stop thinking like that. It's no way to think about family."

You're on to talk I thought as we continued on in silence. One thing was clear to me though, Louise wasn't aware she had multiple personalities, or she had selective memory loss. The one thing that bothered me though was what I could have done to Louise to make her have such a condition. I thought endlessly about what we've done since she got here.

We confronted Mott, she gained magical powers, she met royalty, she went undercover for said royalty, she was involved in a love potion incident, she had been trained to fight with a sword, and now we were heading into a war zone. Thinking back on all of it, any combination of those events could lead to wanting to escape the body. As I pondered what this could mean for both Louise and I, I failed to notice the thinning of the trees and accumulation of dust. Only with an involuntary cough did I see that the trail was beginning to widen into an actual road.

I steered out from behind Kirche and rode up beside her. I didn't say anything to her, but just from looking at her, Kirche seemed to be handling herself quite well. Usually prolonged rides would wear on their riders, and knowing Kirche, she would complain, loudly. Though with Shin in shouting range, she probably didn't dare.

None of had to yell, however, when Shin came down in front of us. Both of us stopped and waited for Shin's explanation for coming down.

"The only way any of us are getting to Albion is via airship through La Rochelle. It's one of the few port cities to still run to Albion." Kirche rolled her eyes ads though this was the most obvious of things. "One of the things to beware of on the way to La Rochelle is it's rocky terrain." Shin said, casually glaring at Kirche. "There have been many reports of highwaymen near the city. We're taking one of the less traveled paths, so it should be less likely to be attacked, but not impossible. So be ready for anything, at any time." Without a word of response, Shin took off to the sky, making all four of us cough from the sudden dust cloud.

"Could he be any more cryptic?" Kirche sighed as she continued on the road.

"Don't like the mysterious type Kirche?" I jibbed.

"Only when the mystery doesn't stake my life." Kirche replied curtly. "And even then, the surprises aren't all that encouraging."

"Oh, like what?" Louise asked. "Wasn't Flame a nice surprise?"

"Oh he was an excellent surprise." Kirche looked back and smiled at the salamander. "A not so pleasant one was being told I was married."

"Come on, I'm not that bad of a pick." I said defensively.

"No, not you Saito, my husband Sigbert."