Chapter Thirty-Seven

The closer the night of the Christmas Eve party came, the quieter Shiloh became. With each passing day, Ben watched her slowly withdraw from the preparation activities, spending more time in her bedroom, barely eating, and eventually saying nothing. He had tried to talk to her, and she looked like she was listening, but in the end, nothing changed. She'd withdraw even deeper.

Christmas Eve morning, the house was unusually still. With two sons away, Joe spent more time in the barn and yard preparing for the extra horses and sleighs that would fill the yard by evening. Ben and Shiloh sat in silence at the breakfast table. He watched her eat, a process that seem quite distasteful to her. If not for the baby, he thought she wouldn't be eating at all.

"Pa, there are so many people without a sleigh. How will they get here?"

Unprepared for the question, much less the sound of her voice, he gave her a surprised look at first, but warmed into a smile that reached his eyes. "Some of the men will be going out in extra sleighs we've gathered to pick them up."

"How will you know who needs a ride?"

"Oh, word travels fast in these storms. We've had to do this several years before. Generally, there are several families waiting at one house."

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As Joe was spreading hay from the loft on the barn floor, he heard voices outside in the yard and opened the barn door to look. A grin spread across his face as he opened the door wide for Micah and Adam to enter. "Well, it's about time you two came home." Both men stepped down off their horses and led them into the barn. "Shiloh's worried sick."

Adam stopped where he was in the doorway. "Shiloh? She's here?"

"Isn't that why you're here?"

"No. We thought we'd stop by here to let you know we were back before we went to the house. Why is Shiloh here? Is she all right?"

"Well, she was when she got here, but that was four days ago."

Furrowing his brow, he handed Joe Sport's reins. "Do you mind? I should probably let her know we're back."

Joe took the reins from him and chuckled. "I think that's about the smartest thing you could do for the rest of the day."

Adam quietly stepped through the door, staying to the left as he removed his gloves, hat, jacket and gun. Ben and Shiloh didn't seem to notice, both expecting to see Joe coming in from the barn. Even when Adam stepped into view, Shiloh wasn't aware that it was her husband who had walked in the door. Her head was bowed over her plate as she pushed her food around with her fork.

Winking at his father, Adam gingerly walked to the table and pulled out the chair to Ben's right, sat down and began to prepare a plate. "Mornin', Pa."

Shiloh's head snapped up to see an impish grin and dark eyes looking up at her from a lowered face. She sat motionless for a moment with her mouth agape, and when she exhaled through her lips and sucked it back in, tears began to flow. Pushing herself away from the table, she hurried around behind Ben, bumping into the chair and falling into Adam who had already stood up, his arms ready to receive her.

"Whoa there. Slow down," he said as he steadied her. He pulled her body into his and looked down into her moist eyes. "What's all this about?" he asked softly.

"You've been gone almost five days, and the longer you were gone, the worse thoughts I… I was so afraid you were cold or hurt or wouldn't be coming back."

Moving his hand to caress the soft curls that spilled down her back, he guided her head to his chest and kissed her hair. "Shiloh, I'm fine. It was just slow going in the storm."

She looked up at him and saw the cut under his eye with dark bruises around it, and reaching up, she gently touched the edge. "So you fell off your horse, then."

"Well, ah…no."

Micah and Joe noisily burst through the front door and took off their outdoor gear before joining Adam at the table.

"Good, we're all here. Now, can we eat our breakfast," said Ben, eyeing Shiloh severely at first, but allowing a slow smile to appear. Hop Sing heard the commotion and brought out extra plates and silver as Joe and Micah took their seats.

Still standing, Adam and Shiloh looked into each other's eyes. "I didn't mean for this to be so hard on you." Taking her face in his hands, he gave her a gentle, long kiss before he nodded to her chair. Sitting next to her, he held her hand as they bowed their heads for the blessing.

After grace was said, Shiloh ignored her plate and turned to Adam. "Is Cheron coming?"

Micah and Adam both took a deep breath as they gave each other a look that said neither wanted to try to answer a question they couldn't.

"A lot has changed for Cheron, Shiloh," answered Micah as he passed the eggs over to Adam. "Did she ever mention to you that she had another son and a daughter?"

Sitting back in her chair, she clasped her hands in her lap. "No."

"Well, she does. And she's married to the chief who didn't seem to like the idea of her coming to take care of Billy."

Shiloh lifted her hands and rubbed her arms, looking away at first, but then leaning slightly toward Adam. "How'd you get that cut under your eye?"

"Why don't you eat while I tell you about it?" he said, looking at her insistently. Volumes passed between them in that moment of silence while their eyes were locked, so when Adam passed her the plate of bacon followed by the basket of biscuits, she dropped her eyes and complied, taking some from both. He passed her a jar of preserves before he started, talking at a leisurely pace between bites of breakfast and sips of coffee. "We got to Clear Creek by the afternoon of our second day out. While we were looking over the village waiting until Micah spotted Cheron, a small Cavalry contingency stopped us, and in speaking with us got the attention of the Washoe. We ended up in the village, held prisoner at first, but Cheron recognized Micah."

"That doesn't explain your cut."

He moved his eyes to hers with a slight smile to which she responded by lowering her eyes again and taking another bite. "The chief and Cheron had a private conversation in a teepee. When they came out, the chief had Do'a, the man standing guard over us, escort us to the teepee. That was after he got in a few threats." He raised his hand to indicate his face. "My eye and the lieutenant's neck."

Picking up where Adam left off, Micah said, "We were able to speak to Cheron alone, and that's when we found out Do'a was her son and that she had a daughter and was married to the chief. He knew Cheron had another son."

Adam took a deep breath. "But we both got the feeling he didn't approve of her leaving. She's their medicine woman now. She said if she came, she'd be here in four days. If she wasn't here by then, we're to bury Billy next to his father."

"Well," said Ben with a smile. "I guess that's all we can do for now. Adam, Shiloh has become quite the cook and decorator. She's even been keeping us entertained with Christmas songs."

Offering her father-in-law a stunted smile, she moved her attention back to her plate, only she wasn't moving much food into her mouth, and the smile she gave him quickly faded.

"The house looks great," said Adam, looking around the room. "And we could smell the baking all the way to the barn."

"I think your young brother has eaten a few dozen cookies in the last few days."

"Come on, Pa. It wasn't near as much as Hoss would've eaten."

They all looked at Shiloh who continued to look despondently at nothing in particular.

Leaning forward against the table so he could see her face, Adam asked, "Why did you decide to come here?"

"Hm? Oh, I didn't. Your father kidnapped me." Ben's mouth dropped open, but when Shiloh gave him a shy smile, he chuckled and returned a grin. "I think Ming Lin has enjoyed helping Hop Sing prepare for the party tonight."

Moving an arm over the back of Shiloh's chair, Adam asked, "Is there anything left to do?"

Ben laid his napkin on the table next to his plate. "There's a few more pine boughs to be hung and a few more decorations for the tree…"

"Oh, and don't forget," said Joe, winking at Adam, "Pa still has to make the punch."

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Adam and Micah had ridden to their respective houses to clean up and dress for the Christmas Eve party, and when Adam returned, he noticed that Shiloh was missing from the frenzy that had taken over the downstairs of the house. Pulling off his yellow jacket as he stomped his feet, he straightened his black dress jacket as Hop Sing fussed at the snow that dropped off his boots and pants legs. "Hop Sing, if you don't want a puddle right here in front of the door, you'd better put a rug out on the porch. I promise you, boots and shoes will be covered." Hop Sing stopped fussing, looked from Adam's boots to the front door, and nodded as he shuffled off to the kitchen to locate a suitable rug. "Where's Shiloh?"

Ben turned from his work with the pine on the mantel. "She said she was getting dressed, but she's been up there a long time. Maybe you should check on her. She's been awfully quiet considering we're about to have a party."

Taking two steps at a time, Adam took the stairs as if they were flat ground. He stood at the bedroom door and listened, but heard nothing. Turning the knob, he pushed the door open only a crack and found Shiloh standing at the window, her robe open in the front exposing her drawers and camisole. Her corset lay in a chair. Watching for a moment as she stood quite still, he finally spoke. "What do you see that's so interesting?" He stepped in, closing the door behind him, and then slipped off his black jacket. When she looked back at him, he smiled for he was quite pleased with the vision standing before him. She had turned so that her belly was quite prominent from the side. Ever since she started showing, she had seemed quite embarrassed by her bulge, having always been very slender with a flat stomach. Now, no one could possibly describe her as skinny or flat. To Adam, it didn't matter. He marveled at her belly as if he could actually see it grow.

Looking down at the chair, he furrowed his brow. "You're not planning to wear that, are you?"

She opened her mouth and raised her eyebrows. "Of course I'm going to wear it. I have…good reasons to wear it."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, considering…" he pointed to her belly.

She relaxed and smiled. "Mrs. Lewis replaced the cord with a longer one, so I can tighten it up here," she said, pointing to her breasts, "and leave it loose across my stomach. Don't look so worried. You can tie it."

As he had gotten into the habit of doing because he could get closer, he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "You were staring pretty intently out the window. What's bothering you?"

"I was just thinking about Cheron. If it were her decision, she would come. I'm sure of it."

Adam busied himself at her neck, slowly turning her to face him and working his way to her lips. She tilted her head as he kissed his way across her jaw, and once at her lips, he teased before he finally kissed her after he had aroused such passion within her that her quick breaths made her dizzy.

Growling at the touch of her hands moving down his back, he whispered in her ear. "Do you remember our wedding night? Maybe I should teach you something else about yourself you don't know."

With her eyes closed, she breathed through her open mouth as he nibbled her lips. "I thought you taught me everything I didn't know about myself."

"A reminder then," he said as he covered her mouth with his.