(This is a public service announcement)
ARTEMIS: Hi, I'm Artemis Day.
DANNY: I'm Danny Phantom
SHADOWY FIGURE: And I'm the Shadowy Figure.
ARTEMIS: We like to have a lot of laughs here at DBZ Know Your Stars, but today we want to talk about a very serious problem…High School Musical Zombies.
DANNY: As if the movie and numerous adaptations weren't bad enough, imagine having to deal with Zombified versions of them.
SHADOWY FIGURE: And seeing as Zombies are supposed to be totally awesome movie monsters, HSM Zombies give Zombies a bad name.
ARTEMIS: So remember, if you ever see a HSM Zombie, run away screaming, or else you will become a HSM Zombie yourself, and nobody wants to be an HSM Zombie.
DANNY: This has been a public service announcement.
SHADOWY FIGURE: And now back to your regularly scheduled fic.
(The Z Fighters, Artemis Day, Danny, and the Shadowy Figure are ready to fight the zombies who have just gotten into the bomb shelter.)
ARTEMIS: Get ready everyone…CHAAAARGE!!
(They charge. Goku takes out five zombies immediately, another one attacks him from behind but he throws him off and continues fighting. Vegeta just randomly blasts at them while Chi-chi has once again gotten her chainsaw out. Krillen and 18 are having a tag-team fight with two zombies and the Shadowy Figure has just taken down two more. Danny is throwing ecto-blasts at them every which way until a bunch of them dog-pile him. 17 and 16 kill a zombie that was attacking Bulma and Gohan and Goten kill seven zombies each. More just seem to keep coming though.)
ARTEMIS: DON'T BREAK RANK!! WE CAN STILL BEAT THEM!!
DANNY: (Is trying to fight off the zombies that attacked him before) AAAAAAHH!!
ARTEMIS: HANG IN THERE DANNY!!
SHADOWY FIGURE: THERE'S TOO MANY!!
VEGETA: WE CAN'T FIGHT THEM FOREVER!!
ARTEMIS: THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY TO BEAT THEM!!
HSM ZOMBIES: WE'RE AAAAAAALL…IN THIS TOGEEEEEETHER!
DANNY: DAMN THEM AND THEIR CHEESY POP MUSIC!!
ARTEMIS: WAIT, THAT'S IT!!
(Artemis fights through a sea of Zombies in order to get to the giant stereo system which just appeared. Artemis puts a CD in and turns on the Stereo at full blast.)
ARTEMIS: Alright Zombies, you like music so much? Well then feel the power of…LED ZEPPELIN!!
(Then Led Zeppelin starts playing.)
HSM ZOMBIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!! (Then the remaining Zombies all die.)
DANNY: …I can't believe it. (To Artemis) How did you know?
ARTEMIS: Elementary my dear Phantom, you see, High School Musical music is so unbelievably bad, the only thing that could truly defeat them would be some unbelievably good music, like Led Zeppelin!
SHADOWY FIGURE: (Slaps herself on the head) DAMN! Why didn't I think of that?
(Then there is a huge explosion which knocks everyone back)
GOKU: Shenlong?
VEGETA: Shenlong's here?
ARTEMIS: Oh hey Shenlong, I thought I blew you up.
SHENLONG: You did, but I am the immortal dragon, I cannot be killed by anything!
DANNY: But what about in Dragon Ball when you-
SHENLONG: Shut up! As I was saying, I came because I wanted to thank you for destroying High School Musical, for your bravery, I shall grant you one free wish.
ARTEMIS: Really?
Shenlong: Not to you.
ARTEMIS: (Under her breath) Bitch.
SHENLONG: I HEARD THAT!!
GOKU: Shenlong, I wish everything was back to normal.
SHENLONG: Granted, I'm outta here. (Shenlong leaves in another explosion. Then all the DBZ characters who were zombiefied come back.)
TIEN: Hey, I'm back!
CHOTAZU: TIEN!! (Jumps on Tien and kisses him full on the mouth, then after he realizes what he's doing, breaks the kiss and moves away) Uh, I mean, good to have you back guy.
ARTEMIS: Oooookay.
BARDOCK: What's going on?
GOKU: DADDY!!
(Runs over and hugs Bardock.)
BARDOCK: Umm…why is he hugging me?
ARTEMIS: Because I wanted to add a little Bardock moment for KidGoku13.
DANNY: Well, I'm glad that's over, I just wish I knew who brought HSM People back in the first place.
ARTEMIS: …do you even have to ask?
(Then another explosion which knocks everyone back, this time the ground splits open and a huge column of rock comes out, and at the top…)
ARTEMIS: Ginny…I should have known you'd be the one behind this!
GINNY: YES IT'S TRUE! I BROUGHT HIGH SCHOOL MUSCIAL BACK FROM THE DEAD! I TURNED THEM INTO ZOMBIES! I SET THEM AFTER YOU ALL! I AM THE REASON WALDO IS HIDING! I FRAMED ROGER RABBIT! I SHOT THE SHERIFF!! (Singing) BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTAY!!
ARTEMIS: You are fcking crazy!
GINNY: Thank you! I'm sure you already know my brother Ron and his girlfriend Hermione.
RON: (Waves)
HERMIONE: (Sulks)
GINNY: And of course my boyfriend Harry, who has clearly not been given a heavy dose of love potion, right schnookins?
HARRY: (In a trance-like state) yes my wonderful, amazing, beautiful, intelligent, Ginny-baby.
ARTEMIS and HERMIONE: (Give Ginny death glares)
DANNY: geezus, why don't you just stay dead?
(Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione come down from the rock column)
GINNY: Because I'm evil, and true evil can survive anything…EVEN LED ZEPPELIN!!
SHADOWY FIGURE: NOOOOOO!!
ARTEMIS: Calm down Shadowy Figure…there is still one way to defeat Ginny…
GINNY: What are you nuts, you've done everything to kill me, and still I keep coming back, what more can you do to me?
ARTEMIS: Oh you really want to know?
GINNY: (Folding her arms over her chest) Yes I do.
ARTEMIS: Okay then. (Then a bucket appears in Artemis's hands)
GINNY: (Starting to look nervous) What are you doing with that?
ARTEMIS: Killing the evil witch! (Then Artemis pours the contents of the bucket, Water, on Ginny)
GINNY: (Melting) AAAAAAH!! I'M MELTING!! I'M MELTING!!
DANNY: Oh come on, not another Wizard of Oz reference!!
ARTEMIS: Hey it could be worse, it could be a Scooby-Doo reference.
DANNY: Good point.
GINNY: (Still melting) AAAAAAAAAAAHH! (Melts completely)
ARTEMIS: …it's over, she's finally dead.
(Then Broly flies in and lands on Ginny's remains, crushing them.)
BROLY: ME BACK WITH DODO BIRD (Shows them the Dodo Bird…which actually is a Dodo Bird!)
ARTEMIS: Broly…where did you get that?
BROLY: Jupiter, that's where Dodo Birds live.
GOKU: I KNEW IT!!
ARTEMIS: …Okay great Broly, now go back to Jupiter, and find me a Dodo Bird that speaks Japanese.
BROLY: OKAY, BROLY GETS!!
(Then Broly flies away again)
HARRY: (Now that Ginny is gone for good, the potion wears off) Hey, the potions effects are gone! I'm free! Now I can go back to my life and continue making out with Hermione in broom closets behind Ron's back.
RON: Yeah he can- Wait WHAT?!
HARRY: Uh, did I say 'Making out with Hermione?' I meant making…uh…LOOK A MONKEY!!
(Ron looks; Harry runs)
HERMIONE: WAIT UP HARRY!! (Runs after him)
ARTEMIS: YIPEE!! (Dances)
VEGETA: (To Danny) What's she so happy about?
DANNY: She's an H/HR Shipper.
RON: (Sadly) Great, now I've lost my girlfriend, what do I do now?
(Then Luna Lovegood appears)
ARTEMIS: Ron, have you met Luna Lovegood?
LUNA: Hi Ron.
RON: AAAAAH!! (Runs, Luna chases him)
DANNY: Well, I guess that's it then.
ARTEMIS: NOT SO FAST!!
DANNY: What?
ARTEMIS: This whole thing was really part of my diabolical plan.
GOKU: (Gasps) Diabolical plan?
ARTEMIS: That's right, for you see, I have had a top-secret plan that I have been keeping from Danny for many many chapters, and now it's time to reveal it, Danny?
DANNY: (Looking fearful) Yes?
ARTEMIS: Tonight you will be going on a fabulous dream date with...EMBER McCLAIN!!
DANNY: WHAT?!
(Then Ember flies in and grabs Danny.)
EMBER: Hi baby.
DANNY: Ember, you don't actually want to date me do you?
EMBER: Of course I do, and afterwards, we can go back to my place and- (Whispers in his ear.)
DANNY: (His eyes widen and he starts grinning stupidly) Dream date it is then!
EMBER: (Hugs him tighter) YAY!! LET'S GO!!
SHADOWY FIGURE: NOT SO FAST!!
VEGETA: Oh now what?
SHADOWY FIGURE: This has all really been part of MY diabolical plan, to set the stage for this moment!!
GOKU: (Gasps) This moment?
SHADOWY FIGURE: Yes, for it's time you are learned…THE TRUTH! (Then finally, after 15 chapters, the Shadowy Figure…steps out of the shadows.)
EVERYONE: (Gasps)
VEGETA: My god!
GOHAN: I can't believe it.
GOKU: It's-
CELL: It's-
GOTEN: It's-
DANNY: Oh just say it already!!
EVERYONE: PAN!!
(Thunder and lighting!!)
PAN: YES!! IT IS I, PAN!! THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE SHADOWY FIGURE!!
GOHAN: You mean all this time it's been you?
PAN: That's right!
VIDEL: You put the mind control device on me? But why? I'm your mother!!
PAN: Yeah, and you made me eat broccoli! You had to be stopped.
GOHAN: Well I am very disappointed in you Pan, you are going to be grounded for this.
PAN: …Aw shit, well at least nobody figured out my identity.
DANNY: Actually, brenthforever figured it out.
ARETMIS: Oh yeah, I owe them a cookie (Gives brenthforever a cookie) there you go!
PAN: That's great but I'm still grounded (Sulks)
ARTEMIS: Don't worry about, you'll be okay.
PAN: How do you know?
ARTEMIS: Because this is all part of MY OTHER DIABOLCAL PLAN!!
GOKU: (Gasps) Your other diabolical pla-
ARTEMIS: YES MY OTHER DIABOLICAL PLAN…FOR WORLD DOMINATION!!
(More thunder and lighting)
DANNY:…but how would any of this help you achieve world domination?
ARTEMIS: …I don't know, hm, back to the drawing board I guess.
VEGETA: …well let's go, this is getting too weird (Then he, Bulma, Trunks, and Bra all leave.)
FUTURE TRUNKS: I'm going back to my time. (He leaves too)
GOKU: Bye guys! (Then he, Chi-chi, and Goten leave)
GOHAN: Let's go Pan, you've got some serious grounding time to start.
PAN: Damn…(To Artemis and Danny) See you later guys!
DANNY: Bye Shadowy Figure, I mean Pan.
ARTEMIS: Bye Pan.
(Then Pan, Gohan, and Videl leave. One by one the other DBZ Characters leave as well until only Artemis, Danny and Ember are left.)
EMBER: Well, time for our dream date!
DANNY: YAY!! (Looks at Artemis) I mean, oh no not that, whatever shall I do?
(Then they leave)
ARTEMIS: Well, I guess I'll go watch TV or something.
(Then Broly comes back, again)
BROLY: BROLY FIND JAPANESE DODO BIRD!! (Hold outs the new Dodo Bird)
DODO BIRD: Konichiwa.
ARTEMIS: (Stares, then slaps her hand to her head) Ah Goddammit.
Epilogue:
Goku went back home and continued being his same old loveable self…although he developed a tendency to hide in a corner and cry if anyone uttered the word 'fangirl' around him.
Vegeta finally sought help for his anger issues after stubbing his toe and taking it out on Australia (long story). However he blew up the anger management clinic after only two days…he is now a marriage counselor.
Gohan single-handedly led the campaign to stop evil vets from 'fixing' dogs…he now works as an eco-terrorist for PETA and is still married to Videl.
Trunks had to start seeing a shrink after developing a fear of undergarments. His doctor told him that his only hope was would be to face that fear, so Trunks spent the next few years living in a lingerie store…he is now a hobo.
Goten went on a 'secret' mission to rescue Mr. Fluffywaffles from St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Make-Believe Chipmunks…he was never heard of again.
Piccolo never got over his experiences at the North Pole...he eventually converted to Judaism and is much happier now.
Bulma went on David Letterman and made a public apology for enslaving the fairies and promised to never do it again…she has since enslaved the pixies.
Cell moved to Las Vegas and became a black jack dealer…strippers tend to turn up missing at the casino he works in.
Frieza went back to his home planet, married a nice alien girl and had three kids…Yeah, I find it too normal as well.
Chi-chi went to jail about a year later after massacring 700 people in a mall. Goku was not too upset about this because it turned out that 73 percent of her victims were fangirls…Chi-chi got life in prison and is still there today.
Android 16 moved to L.A. and became a drug dealer after his girlfriend got him hooked on smack…he has his headphones on too much to notice though.
Android 17 wrote a book about his experiences which became a best-seller. It was later picked up for a major motion picture…however 17 found out that Matthew McConaughey was to be portraying him in it and committed suicide.
Android 18 is still with Krillen although they have been having some marital problems. Fortunately, they've started seeing a marriage counselor…unfortunately, it's Vegeta.
Master Roshi became a fitness instructor at Club Med…he was later hospitalized from serious blood loss due to a nose-bleed.
Yamcha avoided Vegeta forever, which wasn't hard since Vegeta did the same…Yamcha is now a male stripper.
Krillen eventually lost his hair for real…he is now a spokesman for the Hair Club for Men.
Tien went to Amity Park to hunt down Jack Fenton, however they ended up getting drunk and sleeping together…Tien is now in therapy.
Chotazu finally came out of the closet…he is now dating Tom Cruise.
Broly never regained the intelligence he briefly displayed in his chapter and remained a moronic caveman forever…he is now a Philosophy Professor at Oxford.
Dende is still the guardian of earth although he has recently begun moonlighting as an Elvis Impersonator…Hercule is suing him for stealing his dream.
Kami went back to being a part of Piccolo…not really much to be said here.
Vegitto and Gogeta never returned from their 'honeymoon'…no one is particularly eager to go look for them.
Gotenks was never heard of again…neither were the Mary-Sues.
Hercule became a Buddhist and moved to India to become a Monk. He has recently agreed to participate in a demonstration involving Self-Immolation…we're pretty sure he doesn't know what that is.
Videl became an eco-terrorist for PETA along with her husband…she has since developed a strange love for dogs.
Majin Buu went on to eat Texas and Paris Hilton…let's have a moment of silence for Texas.
Baby began an acting career and stared in 'Baby Geniuses 3', which bombed hard. He was then arrested on drunk driving charges and spent several weeks in rehab…he is now a born-again Christian.
Babidi did a spread for playgirl…it was their hottest selling issue ever, even though it caused internal bleeding in some readers.
Lunch got in touch with her evil side and now lives in Hawaii…there has been reports of a serial killer loose in Hawaii right now.
Bra is now an exotic dancer in Reno… yes; they do call her 'Wonder Bra'.
The Ginyu Force ended up as somebody's breakfast…except of course for Captain Ginyu who is still a snail.
Future Trunks went back to his time and joined the Foreign Legion to avoid the angry mob…he went to Africa but ended up being chased by an angry mob there.
Bardock was on Maury along with Goku to discuss bad fathers. He and Goku now have a much stronger relationship…although he seems to think Goku's name is Donald Duck, we're not sure why.
Dr. Gero went back to work on Androids and created Android 21…unfortunately, all it was good for in the end was making green Jell-O salad; Gero is now a pimp.
Ginny went to Hell. However she enjoyed it there too much so Satan had her sent to Heaven…she is now working for Saddam Hussein in his "Chocolate Chip Factory".
Pan, A.K.A. The Shadowy Figure was grounded for two weeks for participating in the torture of her fellow DBZ Characters. After her parents joined PETA, Pan ran away and now lives in New York City where she works as a prize fighter…she still keeps in touch with Danny and Artemis.
Danny married Ember after dating her for several years. They live in the ghost zone and have three kids, all of whom love the movie 'Labyrinth' and watch it repeatedly…Danny now suffers from ulcers.
Artemis Day achieved her dreams of World Domination…we must all bow down to THE SUPREME RULER OF THE WORLD ARTEMIS DAY!!
…and they all lived happily ever after…except of course for Ginny…HAHA!!
THE END
A/N: Time to say goodbye guys, sorry it had to end, but all good things must end eventually, like Spider-man and Mary Jane's marriage…HOW DARE THEY SPLIT THEM UP!! (Calms down) Excuse me. Well, bye guys, it's been fun.