Chapter 36

I still don't own Leverage but at least there's only 9 more days till it comes back!

I'm sorry it's so late, I have no excuse except…Hey Is That Eliot Over There!

The days following the party brought a new intimacy to Eliot and Sarah's relationship. And while they had yet to consummate their rediscovered bond; caresses, kisses and whispered words of affection came much easier; so much so that they were constantly teased that they were acting like newlyweds.

"Mornin' beautiful," Eliot greeted as he walked up behind Sarah, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.

"Mornin' yourself handsome," she replied, turning in his arms and bringing her arms up around his neck, before kissing him full on the lips.

"Ah come on people…I don't need to see that," Hardison complained from the breakfast table where he was typing away on his laptop.

The couple smiled as they pulled apart, and as Sarah turned back to the pancakes she was cooking, Eliot turned to throw a smirk at the hacker. "I don't know why you're bitchin'. You've got your own woman you could be kissin'," he teased.

"I could. But then I couldn't be here gracing you with my company," Hardison fired back. "Anyway, she's checkin' out the new security system at the museum," he added.

"There's somethin' I've been wonderin'," Eliot commented as he poured a cup of coffee. "Why aren't you guys married?"

Without even looking up from his screen, Hardison explained. "Parker doesn't see the point. She says she lives with me and I'm the only one she loves, so a piece of paper shouldn't matter."

"And you're okay with that?"

Hardison looked up at him and grinned. "Of course. I'm just happy to be with her. But if she ever changed her mind, I'd do it in a heartbeat," he admitted before turning back to his screen.

"Where's Lily and Cam?" Eliot wondered aloud as he took a sip of his coffee.

"With Anne grocery shoppin'…laptop off the table, breakfast is served," Sarah announced as she began setting platters of pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs on the table.

"Need any help?" Eliot inquired.

"Sure, if you can get the plates and silverware, I'll get the drinks. What do you want Alec? I've got milk, coffee, and orange juice."

"If you've got orange soda, I'll take that," he answered. But upon looking at her face and seeing her expression, he sighed. "Fine, I'll take orange juice. I swear, you're as bad as nana was."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she replied as she poured the drinks.

Once they were finished eating and Eliot excused himself to take a shower after giving Sarah a brief kiss, she turned to Hardison.

"So, what'd you find on Tarasov?"

"Not a damn thing. Whatever he's doin' on the side, he covers extremely well and not on a computer. I'm thinkin' he keeps that side of his business on paper," the hacker said in irritation.

Sarah sighed. "And our two friends from the hospital?"

"The brothers Egorov are currently guests in the Russian prison system. Apparently assault wasn't the only thing on their impressive resumes," he finished with a grin.

"Did you…"

"Nah…that was all them," he answered, knowing what she was asking.

She nodded. "Keep an eye on Tarasov for me?" she all but pleaded.

"Of course momma, I got your back," he assured her, understanding lacing his voice.

"You stayin' here till Parker gets back?"

"Might as well," he replied distractedly as he typed away on his laptop.

"So what's on the schedule for today?" Eliot asked as he came back out ten minutes later, freshly showered.

"I was thinkin' we could help Joe and the others train the horses and do some chores."

"I'm guessin' I'll be doin' the chores while you train?"

"Pretty much," she answered with a smile. She gave his gray t-shirt, jeans and worn work boots a once over. "You're wearin' the right clothes, but you might wanna wear somethin' to keep your hair back," she suggested. He nodded and headed back to the bedroom to grab his hat.

Ten minutes later, he was listening to Joe tell him what all needed to be done, Sarah having already headed off to help with a new thoroughbred that needed to be prepped for riding. Once he had a handle on what needed to be completed, he set to work.

Around one, after spending two hours learning how to inspect and clean the saddles and tack, as well as repairing any minor damage that was found, he was rewarded with a surprise in the form of Sarah, carrying a picnic basket. She led them to the lake and set the basket down to spread out the blanket, before grabbing his hand to pull him down on it with her.

"You did this for me the first time you ever brought me here," she told him as she began laying out the food, which consisted of sandwiches, chips and fruit.

"Oh, how beautiful," she whispered.

"It's one of the reason's I chose this place," he admitted.

Sarah leaned over to kiss him softly. "Thanks for bringing me."

"You won the race back to the stables," he told her, before taking a bite of his sandwich, causing her to smile as she remembered that day.

While they ate, she answered questions he had of memories that he had been recalling, helping to fill in missing pieces and erasing any confusion. Thirty minutes later, they packed up everything and headed back.

"Is Sophie a bad actress?" he asked suddenly.

At her confused look, he explained and she laughed, remembering him tell her of that day, years ago. "Oh yeah, she's a very bad actress," she answered, with an obvious cringe.

"But isn't she our grifter?"

"Yeah, but that's the only time she's good at it," she replied in amusement as they stopped in front of the stables.

"Thanks for lunch. I'll see you in a couple of hours?"

She nodded. "I should be done by then. Wanna go for a swim later? I know I'll need ta cool down and I'm sure you'll need to as well."

"Sounds great," he answered, before pulling her closer for a soft kiss.

Sarah was finishing up brushing Sky Dancer down when Eliot walked over to her. She turned around to face him and he pulled her into his arms. "I like seeing you happy," he admitted, smiling at her softly.

"You make me happy Eliot."

The memory of what had happened afterwards rushed through his head, resulting only in intensifying his need for her. "I want you," he growled out against her neck, just as he had years ago.

Her eyelids fluttered in pleasure from the combination of his voice and lips against her throat. "No one's stoppin' you cowboy," she all but moaned as he sucked on her pulse point.

One moment they were near the stables and the next, they were pushing through the front door, kissing each other with a need so intense, it threatened to consume them. Later on, neither of them would be able to recall the smile on Anne's face or Hardison shaking his head in amusement as they rushed through the kitchen on the way to the stairs.

They were barely through the bedroom door when Eliot's shirt was thrown across the room. He found it hard to concentrate as her hands explored the planes of his chest, which due to his diligence in therapy and all the work he had been doing around the farm, were back to their former shape. Finally managing to get her shirt over her head, he wasted no time in pulling her bra straps down and latching onto a hardened nipple, ripping a keening sound of pleasure from her throat.

The sound of her cell phone going off interrupted the pants and moans that had previously been the only sounds in the room, and without pulling away from her husband's ministrations; she pulled it from her jeans pocket and threw it across the room.

Eliot chuckled against her collarbone. "I'm guessin' I'm doin' somethin' right then," he drawled, before pulling back briefly to shed his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs.

"I don't think you know how to do it wrong," she panted, looking up at him with heavily lidded eyes.

His eyes darkened, and then he was pinning her to the bed again, lifting her only briefly to remove her bra, before lowering his mouth to her other breast, causing her to cry out. "God El, that…feels…so damn…good," she shuddered as her hands buried in his hair pulling him closer.

The next sound to interrupt was someone knocking on their bedroom door. "Uh guys…listen," they heard Hardison begin.

Eliot pulled back and sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Uhm…I hate to interrupt your ah…private moment…you have no idea how sorry…"

"Damn it Hardison…get to the point," Eliot growled out, making Sarah giggle.

"Nate has a job for us. He tried to call you, but got no answer."

"What happened to takin' some time off," she grumbled irritably as Eliot stood up and held out a hand to her.

"It's a friend of his apparently," Hardison answered. "Pack a bag. We're meetin' the others at the airport. The job's in Ohio."

"Ohio?" she repeated as she put her shirt back on and opened the door. "When's the flight leave?"

"Three hours."

"He does realize I have kids I have to make arrangements for right? Not to mention that we're two hours from the city," she muttered as she picked her cell phone up from the floor.

"Yeah…well get to it. We still have to stop by my place so I can pack as well," he told her before walking away.

She walked toward Eliot with a hopeful expression. "Can we continue this when I get back?"

"You can count on it," he answered with a smirk as he pulled her in for a lingering kiss.

"Now I definitely don't wanna leave," she murmured, leaning against his chest. "Will you be okay here alone?"

"I won't be alone. The kids will be here and I can help Joe out with the chores to keep busy," he assured her.

She sighed as she pulled away. "Okay. I'll ask Anne if she can stay here while I'm gone, just in case," she said as she grabbed her duffel bag and began throwing clothes in. While she packed, she called Anne and confirmed that she would stay at the ranch for the next two days, and then spoke with Lily and Cam, letting them know that their dad would still be at the house and that she loved them. By the time she hung up her bag was packed, and Eliot automatically picked it up to walk with her downstairs. And with yet another kiss, this one more heated than the last, she got in the car with Hardison and drove off.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

That night, Eliot dreamed. Past events that before his accident had been pushed to the back of his mind, now shoved their way forward and played through his head in an agonizingly slow fashion, allowing him to relive every horrific and violent memory in vivid detail. He saw every face of every person he had ever hurt. Worst of all was the emergence of the deeds that he had done for one Damien Moreau.

He clawed his way to awareness and woke up screaming. Sweat poured off him as if he had just experienced heavy, physical exertion, and he had to fight his way out of the tangled mass of sheets that looked as if a wrestling match had taken place.

Stumbling into the bathroom, he turned on the faucet and splashed the blissfully, cold water on his face, which helped to clear the cobwebs and settle him a little.

"Dad…you okay?"

Eliot turned to see Cam standing in the bathroom doorway with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm fine bubba. Go on back to bed," he replied, forcing a smile.

"You haven't called me that in a while," his son replied. "Ya sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Cam looked at his dad for a moment more before reluctantly leaving. The truth was that Eliot was far from good or okay. Whereas last time the memories had faded into the recesses of his memory, this time was different.

This time, he remembered them all.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Sarah pulled up in front of the house two days later and smiled, reveling in the feel of how happy she was to be home. The job had been relatively simple. Nate's friend Lawrence had been fired from his job when a building the company he worked for had built, collapsed during a tornado due to structural instability. It was found that cheaper materials had been ordered, but the company was charged for the expensive ones, meaning there were thousands of dollars unaccounted for. And since it was Lawrence's job to do the ordering, he was blamed.

But in the end, it was found that it was the company owner's son who was changing the orders, then taking the extra money to pay off his gambling debts. The owner fired his son and hired Lawrence back on, with a promotion, plus all lost wages.

However, the son and his two buddies didn't take the news well, which was why Sarah was sporting a bruised collarbone.

The moment she walked into the house however, she knew something was off. Anne was in the kitchen washing dishes and Cam and Lily were on the couch in the living room playing cards. It was too... quiet.

"Hey guys," she greeted hesitantly.

"Mama!" Lily yelled as she hopped over the couch and flew at her.

Anne looked up with a strained smile on her face. "Hi dear…are you hungry? I have left over…"

But Sarah didn't hear the rest as she looked down at her daughter, clinging desperately to her leg and Cam looking over at her with an expression of obvious relief. That, plus the strained tone of Anne's voice told her something was wrong.

"I missed you mama, I'm so happy you're home," Lily told her. But it was lacking her usual exuberance.

She looked at each of them in turn. "Okay, what's goin' on?"

"Its dad," Cam answered flatly.

Her eyes widened. "Is he okay? Did somethin' happen? Where is he?"

"Most likely the same place he's been for the last two days. In the gym," her son explained.

"There's somethin' wrong with daddy," Lily sniffled. And when she bent down, she realized her daughter was quietly crying.

Sarah hugged her close and looked at the other two. "Would one of you please tell me what's goin' on?"

"Eliot hasn't been…his usual self since yesterday morning," Anne told her.

"He hasn't been himself at all since he woke up from the coma," Sarah countered.

"He's been mean," Lily added. "He's yelled at me and Cam a couple times when we tried to get him to play with us."

"And if he's not downstairs workin' out, he's in the field doin' chores," Cam continued.

"He's been…snappish and seems to be in a constant state of anger," Anne told her gently. "And if we even try to ask him what's wrong, he tells us to mind our own business and walks off."

"I'm gonna go talk to him," she stated, as she stood up and gently extricated herself from Lily's hold.

He was attacking the punching bag with quick, lethal blows when she reached the basement. His hair was plastered to his forehead and sweat was dripping off of him as he tore into the bag. The expression on his face was a little disconcerting, as she knew he only wore it on a job when he was fighting.

"I thought I said to leave me the hell alone," he growled out.

The tone in his voice surprised her, but she ignored it and moved closer. "And I thought my welcome home greetin' would be a little warmer," she replied teasingly.

He stopped and turned slowly to look at her. "Oh...I didn't expect it to be you."

"So you were talkin' like that cause you thought it was Anne or our kids?" she asked with a raised brow.

She heard him sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. "I'd rather be alone right now," he told her.

"Well I'd rather you tell me what has you actin' like an ass around our family," she retorted. "Anne and Cam look like they've been walkin' on eggshells and Lily is frightened cause she doesn't understand why you're bein' so mean."

"I don't wanna talk about it," he stated with finality, turning his attention back to the punching bag.

"That kinda sucks for you, because I do," she told him, as she reached out to place her hand on his shoulder.

Quick as lightening he grabbed her hand and twisted, bringing his other hand around to hit her in the solar plexus. Shock raced through her for a split second before her reflexes kicked in, allowing her to block it, and then bring her other arm up to shove him back forcefully. He tried to grab her, but she dodged him easily, twisting behind him. In the back of her head, she realized that he wasn't attacking her full out; otherwise she'd be injured by now. She wondered why that was, but in doing so, let her guard down long enough for him to sweep her legs from under her. In a flash, he was pinning her to the mat with his forearm across her shoulder…which just happened to be putting pressure on her already bruised collarbone.

The hiss of pain that escaped her brought him back, and just as quickly as he had pinned her, he had her sitting up as he looked for the injury. "You're hurt," he murmured as he lowered the shoulder of her shirt and explored her collarbone.

She scoffed. "Which you would have known if you weren't actin' like an ass," she growled out as he put pressure on the sore area. "Ow damn it…stop pokin' it!"

"It's not broken," he said as he pulled back.

"I already know that genius. What the hell was that? Feel better?"

"Not really," he admitted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have attacked you," he murmured, running his hands through his hair.

"Talk to me El…please," she pleaded, bringing her hand up to caress his cheek.

"I remembered…things," he admitted softly.

"What kind of things?"

"Stuff I did a long time ago…horrible, brutal things. I think it was before I met the team. I can't…I don't…"

"What El…tell me," she encouraged.

"I can't," he told her as he stood up. "I should go apologize to them," he said as he turned to leave. "It's not their fault I'm a monster," he finished in a whisper so soft, she barely heard it.

"El, you're not…"

"I don't wanna talk about it right now," he stated, making his way up the stairs.

"Okay," she conceded. "But we will talk about this," she told him with a look of steeled determination as he walked out the door.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Soph, I don't know what ta do. It's been two weeks and he still won't talk. Between hidin' out in the gym and the fields, we barely see him. He's so fuckin' distant and it's killin' me cause I can't get him ta speak ta me," Sarah exclaimed into the phone.

"Calm down sweetie, Nate and I are on our way. Nate can talk with him and I can take you out for some much needed retail therapy. How does that sound?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "That sounds wonderful Soph, thank you."

After hanging up, she confirmed with Anne that she was still going to the zoo, before asking if Lily and Cam could join her, Joe and Freddy. When she told her what was going on, Anne agreed readily, telling her that they would go to a movie and dinner afterwards as well.

Ten minutes later, her cell phone rang, and upon answering, received a happy surprise.

"How's my beautiful female counterpart doing today?"

A smile lifted her lips and lit up her entire face. "Gabe? Oh my god, how are you?"

"Wonderful as always of course. I was curious if that invite was still good."

"Of course it is. When are you comin' in?"

"Chris and I are at the airport in Boston now."

She chuckled. "Do you guys need to be picked up? It'll take me a while but…"

"No worries beautiful, we have a rental car. I just wanted to confirm your invite and get directions to your place," he explained.

After giving him directions and hanging up, she went to find her husband. He was helping Joe move bales of hay and looking damn sexy doing it in her opinion.

"We're gonna have company in a couple of hours," Sarah called out as she leaned against the fence.

"Who?" he asked without even turning toward her.

"Nate, Sophie, Gabe and Chris," she answered.

"Okay."

Realizing that he was done talking, she sighed and headed back in the house, tears of frustration running down her face.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

At seven that evening, Sarah was sitting in a booth at the bar she and Eliot sang at, nursing her second beer while she listened to Sophie tell Gabe and Chris about all the sights they had to see on their visit. She had originally thought that she would have to cancel the shopping trip, but before she said anything, Gabe invited himself and Chris along as well. Which was great, since it ended up being the perfect thing to calm her nerves. Not to mention the full spa treatment that Sophie had treated them all to.

Chris, she found, was very easy to get along with; not to mention being easy on the eyes, as he reminded her of the actor Zac Efron, which Gabe was still teasing him about.

"Seems like we have a regular with us tonight," Steve announced over the mike. "Sarah, how 'bout you come up and sing a couple of songs for us," he suggested, which was met with much applause.

"You sing?" Gabe asked with a smile.

"Oh yes, Sarah has a beautiful voice," Sophie told him.

"Well then you have to go up there. Chris and I are only here for so long. Who knows if we'll ever get another chance," he gushed.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at him. "Wow, you're layin' it on thick aren't ya? He always like this?" she asked, looking at Chris.

"Always," he chuckled. "But I love him anyway," he concluded, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Fine, fine, I'll sing," she said, as she got up and headed to the stage.

The band began to play a familiar song that she sang quite often, and as the words began to flow out of her, she relaxed and let herself go.

It was at this moment that Eliot walked in with Nate and was frozen on the spot by the sound of her voice. The emotion she put into her singing was enough to pull you in and understand what she was feeling at that moment.

Nate's talk had been an eye opener. He had to of gone to the older man before for advice, because Nate gave it so easily, as if it were familiar. The conclusion they had come to was that even though Eliot remembered most of his violent past and the fighting skills that came along with it, he didn't remember his coping mechanisms yet or how the team and his family had calmed him over the years. Needless to say he had reacted badly and he had to tell her just how sorry he was.

"This next song is for my husband, who even though is the most stubborn man I know. I love him and I will always be there for him no matter what," Sarah said, as a new song began playing.

.

"When I lost faith, you believed in me,

When I stumbled, you were right there,

For every act of love you've done, I owe you one.

There were hard times; I'll know we survived,

Just because you stayed by my side,

With all I have, with all I am,

I promise you all my life…

.

Whenever the road is too long

Whenever the wind is too strong

Wherever this journey may lead to

I will be there for you

.

He stood there staring in amazement at his wife pouring her heart out to him on stage. For the life of him he couldn't even remember why he thought she wouldn't love him because of his past. Nate's hand on his shoulder jerked his gaze to the older man who was looking at him in understanding.

"You finally get it. Go talk to her," he said before making his way to Sophie.

The thunderous applause alerted him that the song was finished and he turned just in time to see her slowly making her way to him.

"I was a complete and utter jackass," he began, looking her in the eyes.

"Go on," she urged.

"The night after you left I woke up from what I thought was a nightmare. Wasn't until I was actually awake that I realized they were memories. I don't know if what I remembered is every shitty thing I've done, but what I did remember scared me. I didn't…I still don't know how to process it. I don't know how I dealt with it before or how I pushed it to the back of my head, but I got angry. With myself mostly, so much so that I didn't trust myself to be near anyone. I mean, how could you all want to be around me after what I've done, when I was disgusted with myself. And I was afraid…"

"Of what?" she asked gently.

"That you'd want to leave if you knew. I may not remember everything about you and the kids yet, but I think if I were to lose you guys, I'd lose myself," he admitted softly.

"For someone so intelligent you can be such an idiot at times," she murmured affectionately as she brought her hands up to cup his face. "I know everything about you," she stated slowly, looking him in the eyes.

"There's no way. At least not what I did for…"

"Damien Moreau?"

His eyes widened slightly. "How did…"

"I told you. You've told me everything. Admittedly we'd been married a few months by then, but it didn't make me love you any less then and it doesn't now. It's not who you are now, you've worked your ass off to change that. Meeting the team just rushed it along," she explained with a smile. "And to ease your mind a little, you guys helped put Moreau away years ago."

He smirked. "Have I mentioned how much of an ass I was and how damn lucky I am that you're my wife?"

"Just kiss me and you can make it up to me later," she replied with a mischievous grin.

So he did just that.

I was so damn stuck on this chapter. I don't know why. And then it ran longer than I wanted, but I decided I didn't care…lol.

Lots & Lots of warm cookies & shirtless Eliot for your patience.

Jen