A/N: This may or may not be the "sequel" to a prompt I haven't written yet, cause I'm probably gonna save that one for drabble number 50.
He was in her room tonight; something that didn't happen all the time (since she was usually in his room not long after he woke up) but he'd wanted to talk to her about something. He hadn't left after that talk, and it was now the middle of the night. It was dark, except for one dimly lit lamp, and she was lying on top of him, though he couldn't really tell if she was asleep or not.
Axel was wide awake though; too much was on his mind. In a few days, half of them would be sent off to Castle Oblivion. From what he'd been told, the Castle would serve as a headquarters of some kind, and they would be studying memories. Xemnas and some of the other members wanted to know how memories could serve a purpose in regaining their Hearts. Axel didn't really understand the details, but somehow, Naminé was a key part of this, and she had already been sent over there, alone. He felt rather sorry for her; as much as he could anyway.
Marluxia would also be using the young witch in the plan he'd cooked up with Larxene, and this was what Axel was most concerned about. Sure, he'd agreed to be a fellow conspirator, if only for Larxene's sake. But he had his own plot as well; the rule of the Organization was to eliminate traitors, and that's what he'd do. The others that would be there? Well, there wasn't much he could do about that; maybe, if they were lucky, they wouldn't get in his way, and they'd make it out. But traitors would have to be killed.
And with Larxene with him now, he suddenly felt like the asshole she always called him. When he thought up his plan and worked out the details, he was normally alone. By himself, he could drop the "I have feelings" act they all played, and just be a Nobody; Nobodies couldn't feel remorse. But he found himself unable to drop the façade when she was with him, and he now felt as guilty as he was able to. It was an issue that had been tearing him up inside since the day she asked him to join her and Marluxia; the thought plagued him even more after the conversation he'd had with her earlier.
Traitors are to be eliminated. Oh, he certainly had the balls to kill them if he wanted, and he would. But every part of him ached when he thought about coming back to the Castle without his Sparky. He didn't want to, he couldn't. He just couldn't do that to someone who was such an important part of his life. But he knew he'd have to.
"Your heart's beating really fast." she mumbled, and he had to stop himself from saying that he didn't have one. He felt her shift and look up at him and even though he suddenly didn't want to make eye contact, he found himself glancing down at her. There wasn't too much light, but he easily made out her eyes, and stared into them.
That ache started up again. What would he do without those eyes? How could he betray her like that, all for power? All she wanted was power too; and for all he knew, she didn't want to go along with Marluxia (he figured that was rather unlikely, but he'd never asked, so he didn't know.) He wouldn't be surprised if she didn't have a choice in the matter, since the only member she was technically allowed to say no to was Roxas, though that never really stopped her. But, she was going along with it, and going against the Organization. He felt that it was his duty to do something about the treachery, but at what cost?
Sometimes he tried to make himself feel better by telling himself that he'd be saving Naminé in the process, and she was also his friend. But, though he cared about her, it wasn't in the same way that he cared about Larxene. She was probably the best friend he'd ever had; no one could take her place.
Why the hell was this so hard? Why did he care so much? He didn't have a Heart, none of them did. So why the hell did he have to go and establish that, Heart or not, he loved her?
She suddenly made a noise, and he realized he had been holding her too tightly. He loosened his grip and mumbled an apology.
"Something up?" she asked quietly.
It dawned on him that he'd been lying to her this entire time, and the ache got worse. "No… I'm fine."
She hummed and looked at him skeptically. He looked away, and she slid off his chest, lying on her side against his. He considered asking her why she was so quiet, but decided against it. He figured she might have been doing some thinking of her own, or maybe she was just tired. He felt her breathing even out, and he thought that was his answer, but then she spoke up again.
"I can tell that you're nervous about something," He felt her take his hand and lace her fingers through his. "You shouldn't be."
His heartbeat quicken at her touch, and he held her a bit closer. "Sparkplug…?"
"Hm?"
He couldn't come up with an answer though, not even sure why he said anything. Maybe he was afraid he wouldn't be able to call her that again. "N-nothing."
She stared at him for a bit longer, then brushed it off with a soft okay. She released his hand and draped her arm across his chest. "Don't worry so much, stupid."
And as she actually fell asleep this time, Axel decided to settle this inner conflict. He knew that, for this to work, he'd have to drop the act. He wouldn't be her friend; it'd be hard on both of them, but it'd be for the best. He wouldn't be able to go through with it if he was still pretending to have a Heart. Then he'd figure out a way to help her; he'd try to convince Xemnas that it wasn't her fault. He'd do something.
Because, damn having no feelings; he'd never be able to take her life.
A/N: From what I've gathered, memories in the KH world may be related to the Heart. I think this can be seen with the Riku Replica; his memories get collapsed, and so does his Heart. The Organization wanted to experiment with this idea.