(This chapter is titled Hannah, it's a flashback chapter, but I'll have you know that it's not the 'original' Hannah chapter, I changed some things around and the sad chapter I was referring to is not this one. I decided I didn't want to be too technical in the medical aspect of this chapter because it's not really the point. It's long. Enjoy and don't forget to review)
(Hannah)
Flashback
They cuddled together in front of the televison that was playing the option menu for the Little mermaid DVD over and over again, they were passing the time before Dan had to leave for Texas. Dan pulled his lips off Serena's and grabbed the remote that was sitting on the coffee table.
"You know what's sad?...I'm pretty sure I know every line to this movie, and to Tinkerbell and to Cinderella, and maybe even beauty and the beast" Serena laughed and went on to say that it was impossible because Brooke was terrified of the beast and she hardly watched it.
"I have to turn this off or it will be in my head all day at work tomorrow, I was humming it yesterday and Nate made fun of me" he clicked it off.
"Hey, who doesn't like a little Under the Sea?" she leaned up and kissed him. Dan deepened the kiss with more force, he leaned back and Serena moved herself so she was more comfortable.
"Oh wait" Dan put his hand under his head and laughed as he pulled a tiny, pink barbie shoe out from under his neck.
"Oh...Of course there's a barbie shoe in the couch cushions" he nodded with jest pretending it was completely normal to find such a thing. In their home it was. Serena placed it on the coffee table with a giggle.
"Just wait, there will probably be ten times more once this one is born" she promised as she rubbed her belly in a circular motion. She kissed him again, Dan pulled his lips off hers to say,
"You know I always imagined I would live in a house full of everything pink and...princess" Serena giggled as she hovered over him.
"well I certainly didn't" she smiled a little. Dan pressed his lips together hoping Serena wasn't still bent out of shape about not having a son.
"Serena...We'll have a boy" he promised her while kissing her shoulder. "we'll have tonka trucks and army men around someday...but in the meantime, we have barbie shoes, baby dolls and..." he lowered his hand down to the floor knowing something would be down there. "and...another barbie shoe" Dan looked at it in his hand and shook his head with a laugh.
"Don't forget the fairy wings" Serena added.
"How could I?" he dropped the little shoe to the floor and put his hand on her cheek pulling her down on him, their lips touched softly and a small rumble made Serena grab hold of her stomach.
"You're awake?" Serena looked down at her belly. Dan placed his head on her stomach and listened.
"You were right, she's fine" he pulled away. "I guess mom's really do know what's best" Serena smiled.
"Dan are you going to bring back souvenirs by any chance?" she asked changing the subject.
"why,... you want something?" he moved up to her face and kissed her.
"maybe" she played coy.
"You can have anything you like" he nuzzled her neck in a whisper.
"Mm, Surprise me" she bit her lip as he kissed her neck.
"You want a nice Texas keychain or what?" he joked a little and kissed her jaw, she made a slight moaning sound.
"Right now, I just want you..." she put her hands on his face and brought him close to her. "to say home with me" she finished saying.
"Okay, and then i'll lose my job, but it's okay we can move back to Brooklyn" Dan joked. "Serena, I don't think I can go back to that" he said thinking.
"Oh no?" she laughed.
"No, i'm too used to thousand thread count sheets that cost more than a smart car..." he exaggerated. Serena giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "and I'm too in love with truffle grilled cheese"
"Mmm, truffle grilled cheese" Serena drooled.
"You hungry?" he asked.
"always" she smiled. Dan got up immediately and went to work fixing her something.
When he came back she had turned on the tv and was watching "The Little Mermaid"
"Oh no!" he looked at the screen with horror. Dan had probably watched that movie over one hundred times, possibly more, they had it replaced three times from overusing. Serena laughed a little and shut it off.
"We don't have any truffle oil but will you settle for regular grilled cheese?" he asked showing her the plate in his hands. Serena sat up and took a peek.
"Hmm, does it have...," he picked on of the pieces of bread up to take a peek. "bacon!, yes I'll eat it" she took the plate from him and placed it in her lap.
"Good?" he asked.
"Pefect" she smiled contently.
"You ready for bed?" he asked her as she placed the plate back down on the coffee table.
"Yes Dad" she mocked his paternal question.
"Ok" he scooped her up and carried her up the stairs shushing her the entire way as she giggled. He placed her on their bed gently.
"I don't want to go to Texas" she pouted as she got under the covers. "Say with me, make Chuck go to Texas" she placed her hands on his shoulders as he hovered over her.
"I can't" he kissed her nose. Dan got up and put his shoes and a tie on.
"I don't want you to go" she said as if he'd change his mind.
"Ok Brooke" she was starting to sound familiar to Brooke when Dan told her he was leaving that night.
"I don't want you to go" she said sadly this time, the pregnancy hormones were starting to come out. Dan looked at her with a frown, full of apology.
"I have to, you know I do" he took hold of both her hands as tears rushed to her eyes. This trip was supposed to have been taken care of before Serena went to the hospital for the first time and he'd been putting it off.
"Oh, no...don't...Serena don't" he ran his hands over her cheeks and wiped the tears as they began to fall.
"I want you to to stay with me" she mumbled through her tears.
"I have a meeting tomorrow morning, I have a client to see the next day...you know this. I 've been putting it off for so long." he said quietly trying to get her to calm down.
"Why can't Chuck go?" she cried.
"Because I have to go" it was the only answer he had. "Don't cry...don't" he brought her close to him as she shook. Her hormones were getting the better of her again and every time she broke his heart with her tears.
After a few moments Serena calmed down and Dan pulled away from her and kicked his shoes off.
"What are you doing?"
"I'll take a later flight" he answered as he slipped under the covers with her.
"Your meeting is so early, you should go so you can get some sleep before" she nestled into his neck.
"I'll go when you fall asleep" he kissed her temple.
XOXOX
Serena woke up at 4 am feeling uncomfortable. Dan was gone, she knew he would be, but in a selfish way she wish he'd have fallen asleep and missed his flight. A sharp pain hit her as she stood, she winced and made her way to the bathroom and sat on the cold floor, thinking the pain would subside. But it wouldn't, it continually became worse and worse.
"Hannah, Daddy just left" she whispered how inconvenient this was.
"Ok...it's okay" she whispered to her baby running her hands up and down her belly.
"not now, not tonight" she breathed in and out. The searing pain was familiar. It was unmistakably labour, real labour.
"Ok, ok, you win" she grabbed the phone and called Dan's cell which was off, he must have already been on the plane by now. She dropped the phone with another contraction. It came from nowhere and she clasped both hands over her mouth being sure not to make any noises and scare her babies that were sleeping.
"pick up, pick up" she waited for Blair to answer.
"Serena it's 4 am" Blair groaned.
"yeah...I'm going into labour"
"Ok...where's Dan?" Blair asked groggily.
"Oh his way to Tex...Texas" she finally got out. Serena heard a loud "What?!" from Chuck, Blair must have hit him.
"You made Dan go to Texas?, what's wrong with you?"
"Blair...can you just come get me?"
XOXOX
7AM
Serena and Blair stood bump-to-bump in the hospital room.
"Okay one last time" Lily took a picture of them.
"They're going to be Bffs" Blair smiled.
"I hope so" Serena slowly got back into the bed and winced a little as a ring came from Blair's pocket.
"Jenny talked to Dan and she thinks he should only be another couple hours" Blair said after reading a text message.
XOXO
He smiled like an idiot in his seat. The woman beside him didn't ask, she didn't care why he was shifting in his seat or why he seemed to be so anxious. Dan was so happy he explained himself anyway.
"My wife just went into labour" he nodded like she was begging to know. The flight attendant asked about his smile, he answered.
"How exciting" she smiled back.
"Yeah. I actually just got off the flight here and now I'm going back" he laughed.
"Are you going to make it in time?" she asked him.
"...I don't know" he never thought about it. When the flight attendant left he pulled out his phone. The woman beside him made a remark about how he's not allowed to talk on his phone while airborne, he ignored her. Blair answered Serena's phone mid laugh.
"Hi daddy' she said in the most unblairlike voice imaginable.
"How we doing?" he asked.
"So far so good" she said happily as she handed the phone to Serena's outstretched hand.
"Hi" her voice was soft.
"Hey" he said adoringly. "How are you?" he asked concerned.
"Excuse me, you cannot talk on your phone" the woman from across the aisle raised her voice. Dan lifted his finger up as if to say "hold on"
"hang in there, I'm not far okay?"
"okay" she smiled having complete faith in him.
10:30 AM
"Why isn't he here yet?"
"maybe he's still at baggage claim?" Lily offered.
"no, he didn't bring any luggage just carry on!" she said distraught.
"Whoa" Blair reacted to Serena's abrasive behaviour.
"Darling just relax, you have lots of time and I'm here, so even if he's not... it's okay, Blair can sub in too" Blair nodded.
"No..." she said definitively.
"Maybe you should walk around or something" Blair said remembering the last time she was in Serena's situation.
"Blair, walking will only make things faster...I want to slow them down" she sighed.
"Why on earth was he even going to Texas so close to your due date anyway?" Lily asked.
"It's not close to my due date at all... not my real due date anyway" she reminded them both that she should have still had nearly a month.
"Look who I found" Jenny walked in with Brooke and Julia.
"Hi" Serena smiled excitedly.
"When are you going to have the baby?" Julia asked.
"Hopefully very soo...oooon" she had a contraction. Blair grabbed her hand quickly when she noticed. Serena put her head on her chest and bared down the pain.
"Oh..." she made a little scary noise that freaked Brooke out. "Mommy?" she said sadly. Lily and Jenny quickly scooped them both up and took them out of the room. Almost immediately after the girls had been pulled out of the room Serena was told she had to start pushing. Blair held her hand each time until the doctor told Serena to take a break.
"You okay?" Blair asked sweetly seeing her friend in so much pain.
"...No...where's my husband?" she cried feeling sorry for herself.
"Oh honey, he's coming. He'll be here any second now" she promised her.
"DAN!" Blair heard Lily and Jenny yell in the hall. "just go...go, go go" they practically pushed him into the room.
"TOLD YOU!" Blair hugged Serena.
"Oh thank god!" Serena threw her head back on the pillow.
Dan walked in with a smile. "I made it!" he touched her baby filled belly. "Of all cab drivers I think I had the slowest driver in all of Manhattan" he claimed before kissing her. Blair wished them luck and headed out.
"OH! hold my hand" Dan squeezed it tightly.
"Why am I doing this again?"
"You've always said it was worth it. When she's here you'll forget about the pain"
"Can this be our last baby?"
"What happened to six?"
"I can't" Dan laughed lightly.
"What about the boy?" he asked.
"I don't need a boy, I love my girls" she smiled through the pain.
"Okay" he nodded.
He wasn't sure what struck him first, Serena's sudden change from being in pain to being completely at ease or the fact that the room was silent. His heart stopped, he was sure it did as he waited for the sound of crying. They were muffled at first but soon became louder and louder causing his heart to kick back in to a steady beat. Serena smiled wide at him and asked a nurse if she could hold he. Her doctor walked over to explain that Hannah was having a little trouble breathing on her own and that she was going to be take down the NICU, Dan nodded expecting as much with how premature she was. Serena looked up to Dan, her hand grasped for his forearm as he promised her that it was fine and that the doctors told them this might happen. His voice always put her at ease, his lips on her forehead only soothed her further.
"You don't have to do this ever again" the talked to eachother quietly.
"I didn't even get to see her" Serena said sadly once everyone was gone and Dan and Serena were the only two left.
"It's okay you'll get to see her soon"
"I dont like this, what if they...switch her?" Dan laughed at her absurdity.
"They're not going to switch her" he promised with a kiss pressed to her forehead.
"you promise she's fine?"
"I'm telling you that there's nothing to worry about, the doctor would have said something" he kissed her again.
"get some rest, i'll go get a peek and make sure they don't...switch her" he laughed.
Dan began down the hall when a doctor stopped him.
"Mr. Humphrey" he approached with a worrisome look on his face.
XOXOXOX
"I don't understand..." Dan's eyes shifted.
"Well..." the doctor was cut of by Dan.
"No, you said...you said that if she's delivered early..."
"I didn't promise you anything...I said she shouldn't not that she wont"
"You said that she shouldn't need time in the NICU and that she won't have a fucking infection" he whispered the swear word feeling as though it was necessary for only him to hear. He was fuming but he tried to keep quiet for the people in the waiting room about a meter away from them.
"I don't recall ever saying that Mr. Humphrey" Dan bit his lip and bolted out of the building knowing he might do or say something he'd regret.
XOXO
"Hey you're awake" Dan walked in to see Serena sitting up in bed reading an old Fashion magazine which was sprawled out on the bed sheets in front of her.
"I couldn't sleep" she smiled."Can we see her?" she sounded so excited. The glow in her was back already, her hair was wavy and cascaded down her shoulders, she like usual, looked like sunshine.
"Uh Yeah" he choked out, he really wished she was still asleep.
"Let's go!" she slowly stood up.
"we can wait" he sat down and took hold of her hands. There was something behind his eyes that was questionable to Serena but she was too excited to look in to it.
"How do you feel" he asked.
"Fine, let's go" she swung her legs off the bed.
"No let's wait" he spoke quietly almost sadly, confusing Serena further.
"are you kidding? i've been waiting forever, let's go" she smiled.
"I don't think you should be up yet" he made excuses.
"I'm fine, i just...I just really want to see her" she smiled at him. When they got to the nursery Serena's fists clenched she was so thoroughly excited. A nurse looked at her when they entered.
"Hello" the nurse with a nametag that said Evelyn smiled gently.
"Hannah,…" Serena whispered. "Humphrey" she smiled widely and looked around the room only to see blue, the smile fell.
"Oh you're beauty's mom" the nurse smiled softly. Serena looked at her confused.
"I was wondering when you were going to be visiting"
"I've been up all night so they made me get some sleep first" she explained.
"well, I wont keep you waiting any longer" she said with a soothing voice.
"They whisked her away so fast, I didn't even get to hold her" Serena admitted sadly.
"we nicknamed her beauty because she has long eyelashes and these full rosy lips" Serena smiled as she followed the nurse.
The nurse instantly let Serena know that they ran out of pink hats and that Hannah was wearing blue. "…oh hi" she smiled lightly at her baby who was bundled up tightly, a few monitors for her vitals, she looked very peaceful as she slept. Serena was given a chair and sat beside her baby, instantly she was running her hands over her baby's face and fingers. "Hi" she smiled noticing she did have long eyelashes. Serena pulled back her little blue hat only to get the biggest shock, she expected a little bit of white blonde hair, instead she found dark brown on the tiny head that would fit in the palm Serena's hand. Dan stood in the door way pretending to read the posters on the wall, he didn't want to go in there, he wasn't ready to see the tubes or how small she was.
"Dan..." Her voice shot through him like daggers, he lifted his head and looked at her with worry and fear.
"Come here…" Serena gasped with delight, she tried to hold her excitement internally, it was hard. Serena wasn't used to holding it in, but the room full of sleeping babies was enough to hush her.
"Look at her hair" she squeaked with a big smile. Dan stayed still in the doorway.
"Come here" she motioned for him to join her more urgently. When Dan got closer Serena slipped the blue hat off Hannah's tiny head to show she had dark hair. Serena was excited and Dan smirked lightly and took a relieved breath, it wasn't scary, she looked so perfect. Tiny little bundle with pink lips and long eyelashes. As the nurse came over she smiled at Serena curious at what she was so excited about.
"We have two little blondes at home" she let her know why she was so excited.
"Oh my really?" Serena nodded happily.
"it's so strange how genetics work" Evelyn mentioned.
"I know, and one has bright blue eyes and one has brown" she explained.
"I think she's going to have blue, you can usually tell, if they are going to stay blue" Dan took a sigh of relief for Brooke.
"she looks like Julia when she was a baby doesn't she?" Dan didn't answer her. "I mean except for the dark hair of course" she laughed to herself.
"Hi" she smiled at her baby. "Mummy wants to hold you so bad" she smiled, sending an ill feeling in Dan's stomach, he sat down beside her with a blank expression on his face, instead of looking at Hannah he watched Serena, it was unbearable to see her this happy, when he knew it wouldn't last, but at the same time he didn't want to take it away from her, not yet. What the doctor told him was not good news. When the nurse told Serena she could hold her for a little while, Serena nodded excitedly.
"I can?, would that be okay?" her eyes widened.
"I don't see anything wrong with a little while" Evelyn lifted Hannah up slowly and placed her in Serena's eager hands.
"Oh my god" Serena leaned down and kissed her. Serena was so focused on Hannah that she didn't realize Dan wasn't looking at the baby, his eyes were elsewhere, his thoughts were elsewhere.
"she has curls" she smiled happily and she ran her fingers over the baby's head, that had a few teeny ringlets. " she's just like you" Dan just nodded, still not looking.
"She's so little." Serena said to the nurse.
"she's not too bad, I've seen worse" Serena nodded believing it.
"Oh I miss having a baby so much" Serena smiled at Dan. He sat emotionless, staring straight through the wall, wishing he was in the waiting room.
"Hun, ' Evelyn looked straight at Dan who was tapping his foot lightly looking at the wall ahead of him. "You wont hurt her" she told him seeing how rigid he was. Dan wasn't worried about hurting her, what he was worried about was something much more serious, he touched her cheek slightly and pulled his hand back.
"I found a pink hat" the nurse handed Serena a pink hat to replace the blue one she was wearing.
"I'm so excited that she has dark hair" Serena slowly took the blue hat off and slipped the pink one on.
"You're so glad about a lot of things" Evelyn smiled.
"I'm just glad she's here" she said sadly as she leaned down and kissed her again, taking in the baby smell that she missed so much.
"Oh?" Evelyn wasn't sure what Serena meant by that.
"I had a rupture and we were told on several occasions that she might not make it, it didn't help that it took forever to conceive her either" Dan made a loud inhale and Serena turned to him.
"we tried for her,...for what?" she looked at Dan for help. "Six months?" Serena asked him, Dan bit his lip uncomfortable with the topic, he hadn't said one word since entering. Evelyn was beginnning to think Dan was a mute.
"I think five or six months, oh well... everything was so worth it" she put her arm around Dan trying to get him to talk but he didn't, his mind was elsewhere, his eyes still glued on the wall at the back of the room.
"well now she's here" the nurse smiled.
"she'll probably be our last" Serena told the nurse with her hand still stroking Hannah's foot underneath the blanket, Dan's stomach turned.
"Perfect little feet, perfect little fingers" Serena cooed. Dan's heart started to beat faster. Serena smiled up at him and put her hand over his shoulder.
"...Sweetie, she's okay" she smiled lightly knowing he was upset. Dan didn't say anything, he focused harder on the wall.
"Hey..." she said softly placing her chin on his shoulder, wondering what was wrong.
"I...have to go" Dan swallowed while looking at his phone and getting up, the only thing he had said the entire time.
"...who is it?" Serena asked looking up at him, her hands still cradling their baby.
"...umm" he wasn't even in the right state of mind to lie, he swallowed hard thinking.
"Is it work?" Serena provided him with an excuse knowing he couldn't think of one. She knew it wasn't work, he was going to get a week of paternity leave, all that Chuck would allow with his belief that woman took care of the children.
"Yeah, I have to go to the office for a little while" he lied, his eyes narrowed, still trying not to upset Serena.
"Ok,...I love you" she put her hand on his face, and leaned in, her eyes looked into his hoping he was okay, His eyes rolled away from hers quickly.
"Love you too" he brushed his lips over hers, and Serena couldn't help but feel like something was seriously wrong. As Dan walked out of the room Evelyn turned to Serena.
"He's usually a big talker" Serena explained with a sad smile that could break at any moment.
"Sometimes they have a hard time with seeing all the monitors" Evelyn said in a comforting voice. Serena felt bad for him, but didn't want to leave her baby.
When Dan got to the car he and pulled out of his space he realized he wasn't in a safe state to be driving. Putting the car into park he held on to the steering wheel and placed his head on it. Inhaling harshly he gripped on to the steering wheel until he was white knuckling, he closed his eyes and his lip began to tremble when a parking attendant knocked on the window. Dan rolled it down immediately.
"You cant park here" he said sternly. Dan nodded and drove off.
XOXOXOXOX
When Serena finally found out about Hannah she almost didn't want Julia and Brooke to see her. She didn't want them to get attached to her. She thought that maybe if they never met her, it wouldn't be so hard. Lily convinced her it was the right thing to do and slowly and quietly she brought her daughters in to meet their new sister.
Hannah was all in pink, her little hat to her little socks, Evelyn smiled at them as they followed Serena in the room like baby ducks behind their mom.
"Look, right here" Serena said softly as she showed them.
"She's so little." Julia said to Serena.
"Why's she in that box." Brooke asked, standing on her tippy toes to see.
"well, she's sick." Serena said quietly being sure not to cry again, she'd spent all morning doing that, but she promised herself that she wouldn't in front of them.
"Oh." Brooke whispered sadly.
"So we can't hold her?" Julia asked.
"No sweetie" Serena's throat became tight.
"she's so cute mummy" Brooke stood on her tippy toes, she then pulled on Serena's long sweater and pulled her down to tell her something. Serena bent down. "Mommy I want to be her big sister now." Brooke changed her mind. Serena smiled weakly at her not knowing what to say.
"Hi" Julia said gently, already in love with her. Brooke watched her intently before looking up at her mom with a big smile.
"Oh…mommy I lub her." she said.
"I know baby, me too" She wiped her face quickly on her sleeve.
XOXOXOX
Nine days later
"Daddy where are we going?" Julia asked from the backseat of the car. He looked into the rearview mirror and looked at his little blondies. Julia looked just like Serena, her blue eyes sparkled even when it was dark. Brooke yawned it was past her bedtime and Dan knew it, although these days they didn't really worry about much other than the hospital visits.
"We're going to see mommy and Hannah, bring mommy some dinner"
"I want to see my baby" Brooke said excitedly.
"...You will"he took a breath and looked back at them again, needing to know that in a years time there would be three little girls to watch from the rear view mirror.
Dan stopped at a store first to get Serena a few things.
It was a rare thing for Dan to walk out of a store without buying more than he intended when he was with them. He promised himself he wouldn't be the kind of dad to give in so easily, he wouldn't be a Harold Waldorf or a Keith Van der Woodsen, but the set of blue sparkly eyes and the other set of warm doe eyes could pretty much talk him into anything. He convinced himself that it was completely different, he didn't buy them things out of guilt for never being around, he bought them things because he loved spoiling them the same way he loved to spoil Serena.
"Daaaaaaddy?" Brooke smiled devilishly with a box of smarties in her hand.
'Okay' he nodded, he had no energy to talk them out of things.
"Oooh" Brooke stopped at a shelf and stared at a ceramic duck, it was an outdoor decoration, Dan's eyes squinted at the thing.
"Daddy, can I please have this duck?" she pet it.
"what on earth do you want that for?" he looked baffled as Brooke's big dough eyes stared at the ugly duck.
"I juss...I jus like it" Brooke said still completely infatuated with it.
"What are you going to do with it?" he asked.
"Love it" she smiled at him knowing she could make his heart melt. Dan grabbed it off the shelf.
"Wont mister Pig be sad?" Dan asked, his last attempt at putting the duck back.
"No i'm gunn, i'm gunna give him to Hannah" she smiled.
"You're going to give her mister pig?"
"Yes, cuz he makes me happy when I'm sick" she explained.
Dan looked completely worn out as he stood at the register with them, he had some water for Serena and some Tylenol, she mentioned on the phone that she had a constant headache. Brooke and Julia had so much energy and were so excited to see their mom they told the cashier that was chatting with them.
"it must be past your bedtime now" she smiled.
'We just have to see mommy first" Julia said with complete adoration for Serena. When Dan finally got to the cash register the woman greeted him.
"Hi" he smiled weakly, pulling his wallet out.
"how are you?" Dan swallowed and wanted to say bad, he wanted to vent but she didn't care, it was her job to ask. "good" he said in a shallow voice.
Dan asked them to pick out a magazine for Serena.
"OH! she likes this...she likes thhhis one, mummy likes this one" Brooke pulled an Instyle magazine out of the rack and gave it to Dan.
"what else does she like?" he asked.
"this one too daddy" Julia gave him a home design magazine, he smiled at them, they knew exactly what their mommy liked.
"Okay we'll get these ones" he nodded putting them on the counter.
"Would you like to donate to our charity?" the cashier asked him with a smile.
"Where does it go?" he inquired.
"Sick kids"
"...absolutely" he nodded.
XOXO
They all walked into the private hospital room together and found Serena curled up on a chair.
"Hi mommy!" Julia ran up to her, Serena got up and bent down to hug her and Brooke.
"Hi" she whispered holding them closely, their hair smelled clean, she felt terrible for not being home, forcing Dan to do everything.
"mommy?" Brooke looked at her saddened, she could almost tell Serena was sad, she wasn't herself and she knew it.
"we brought you some dinner" Dan said with a slight smile.
"It's your favourite dinner ever" Julia announced. Serena smiled up at Dan and stood, she closed her eyes and just held him tightly, Dan wrapped his hands around her neck and pulled her into him, she didn't smell like anything, her hair was messy, she wore his old Yale alum sweater that was so big it could have been a dress and her jeans were old and worn, she'd probably been wearing them for three days now.
"you ok?" he whispered in her ear, she nodded without saying anything.
"I want to see my Baaaaby" Brooke said sweetly.
"Ok!, come over here" Serena's mood lifted immediately in an effort to cheer the room up.
"...she wouldn't eat today..." Serena's voice went from normal to a squeak.
"maybe I can try again?" she asked optimistically to see if Dan would help her.
"yeah" he nodded sadly seeing her like this was pure hell, not the way she was dressed, just the way he knew she didn't care anymore, that she didn't care if she didn't sleep or eat, that she hadn't been home in days.
"Hi baby" Brooke whispered to Hannah as Dan slowly picked her up, moving the tubes and monitor probs to the side, something that he was getting used to, something that they shouldn't have been getting used to. Brooke kissed her on the head lightly and looked at her with adoration. Her long eyelashes moved around slightly as she attempted opening her little eyes. "you have perdy bloo eyes" Brooke got closer to her to look at them, she was so gentle.
"She's so cute, when can we take her home with us mummy?" Julia asked.
"I don't know" she said honestly.
"Mommy here, we got thems for you" Brooke handed her the magazines. "can you and Julia go take these and find me a pretty dress?" she knew they loved helping her and she really needed to talk to Dan alone.
"Ok!" Brooke sat herself up on a rocking chair with her sister and turned pages together.
"She's getting worse" she took a deep breath. "we can take her home whenever...and," she covered her mouth, her blue, sparkly eyes looked up at Dan with fear. "...wait" a single tear rolled down her cheek and hit her hand.
"No...," he bit his lip and brought her into his shoulder. "we're not giving up, not now"with all the money in the world they couldn't do anything to save her, a private room was all that could be done, when it came to mortality and sickness people are all the same, they couldn't do anything, money couldn't save Hannah.
....
Serena hugged Dan and said goodbye to Julia.
"Why don't you come home tonight, " he suggested with a sleeping Brooke over his shoulder. "You can have a nice hot meal, I'll run you a bath and I'll take you right back...just so you can get out of the hospital for awhile"
"No" she shook her head.
"I really think it would be a good idea for you to get out of here for a little while"
"no"
"Serena,... I'll bring you right back" he said again.
"I can't" she almost cried.
"I miss you, come home with me" he touched her arm.
"No" she said sadly. "I can't"
When she was alone again she curled back up into her chair and cuddled with Mr. Pig.
XOXOXOXO
(Okay it was a little sad. The actual sad chapter is next I'll post it in a few days, it's already written just needs some tweaking. I made the medical complications subtle, I didn't really want that to be the focus. The point is that Hannah is sick. Please review :)