"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks as always for reviewing! Almost at a thousand, almost there, almost there...(no, this is in no way begging you guys to review so I'll reach a thousand ;-) ). Well, most people wanted shorter chapters and more frequent updates, but I still can't make any promises either way. Work comes first. :)

Chapter 37

As her son had a few days before, Padme was now attempting to catch Queen Rianna in a non-formal conversation, searching the palace halls for her. What would she say when she located her? That part hadn't been figured out yet, but she trusted that her instincts would know when the time came. The focus now was on locating the queen, which proved to not be too difficult.

Rianna was standing next to one of the high windows, staring out at the city beneath her, her white face appearing deep in thought, the sight of which momentarily stilled Padme. She remembered how she used to do the same thing herself when she was troubled, how the window could connect her to the outside world without forcing her into it.

Perhaps she understood Rianna more than she thought.

She tiptoed toward the window, trying to make her footsteps loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to distract her. As she approached Rianna, she saw her eyes turn to the side for around a second, but she gave no further acknowledgment to the former queen's presence.

"This window was one of my favorite parts of the palace," Padme said carefully.

Rianna inhaled through her nose, raising her head a bit higher as she continued to stare out the window.

"I'd come here when I needed to sort out my thoughts," continued Padme. After another second or two of Rianna refusing to grant Padme the honor of being addressed, the ambassador added, "Your Highness, despite our differences, we have something very important in common - we both care deeply about this planet."

Rianna finally turned her head to face Padme, her green eyes widened. "This planet has changed since you ruled it, Ambassador."

"I know," said Padme, "but the fact remains that this is still my home."

Rianna sighed. "You have a new home now, on Coruscant, with your family, where you don't have to worry about your planet falling apart before your eyes."

"This is my planet," insisted Padme. "Coruscant is merely where I reside."

Rianna's right eyebrow lifted. "I'm afraid the Naboo you think of as home no longer exists. Your Naboo was thriving. Mine is wasting away."

"It doesn't have to," Padme said.

"I know," snapped Rianna. "All we need to do is join the New Republic and then everything will be fine. I would have thought you'd know that political rearrangement doesn't work magic." She turned her body around to face Padme. "Can joining the New Republic resurrect all of our people who have died as a result of the Rebellion?" She grabbed Padme's shoulders. "Lest you think that I am unable to look past my own tragedy, I'm talking here about the hundreds of our people who have lost their lives in the war or as a result of the war's aftermath." Her eyelids lowered halfway over her eyes. "What about their families? What sort of queen would I be if I forced them to join with their enemy?"

Padme sighed. "Well what sort of queen are you if you passively allow your planet to crumble?"

Rianna's mouth open slightly as her hands slipped off of Padme, emitting a breath that sounded like a soft hiss. "Why are you so convinced that joining with your New Republic is the only way to save us?"

"I'm not," said Padme, "but I believe it's the best way. But I could be wrong - that is why I'm exploring the planet and talking to your people."

Rianna's lip twitched as her head lowered slightly. "Ambassador, I know you must be thinking that I have no respect for you, but that is not the case." She bowed her head. "Quite the contrary, in fact."

"What do you mean?"

Rianna cautiously brought her eyes back up to meet with Padme's. "You were one of my heroes. I heard so much about you when I was growing up." The right side of her mouth curled upward in the slightest of ways. "When I was appointed, I even promised to myself that I would be as great a queen as the mighty Padme Amidala."

Padme felt her stomach churn, unsure if it was from flattery or awkwardness. She tried not to let the feeling that she was a hero who had betrayed her admirer enter her head.

"You haven't betrayed me..." Rianna said softly, giving Padme a slight twist at the thought that the queen might have unconsciously read her mind with the Force. Was Luke right? Was she being subconsciously trained by the dark side as he feared?

"You're proving yourself to be rich in the quality I admire most," Rianna continued, her black eyebrows rising. "You don't back down under adversity."

Padme tried to think of something to say, but nothing came.

"You're displaying that same persistent spirit I worshiped about you," said Rianna. "The fact that you happen to be using that spirt against me changes nothing about it."

Padme blew a stray hair out of her face. "I'm not using it against you, Your Highness. You needn't take everything so personally."

"And yet you take my viewpoint of your New Republic personally," retorted Rianna.

Padme found she was unable to resist rolling her eyes. "Not your viewpoint, only the fact that you're forcing your planet to suffer because of your viewpoint."

Rianna sighed. "You don't know that for certain yet, do you?"

"No," said Padme, "but I have a pretty good idea."

Rianna shifted her weight as she turned back to the window. "Ambassador, may I remind you that our meeting is over?"

"This is not a meeting," said Padme. "We don't even need to talk about politics. I'd like to get to know you as a person."

Rianna merely sniffed.

Padme waited a few moments, trying to see if Rianna would gain the will to answer her. When it became clear that the queen intended to continue staring out the window until she left, Padme decided to try something else.

"You know..." she said with caution, "...my parents died in the war too."

"I know," Rianna said flatly. "Your niece has told me about that."

Padme reached over and ran her finger over the glass, invisibly tracing the outlines of the buildings. "War always causes death and suffering on both sides, you know that. Many times, in order to protect themselves from emotional damage, people fighting in a war will indeed try to convince themselves that the other side is nothing but pure evil." She slowly placed her cold finger on the queen's chin. "But perhaps learning what the individuals on the other side were like could increase understanding."

Rianna was still silent, but her head slowly turned back to face Padme.

"My mother's name was Jobal," Padme said, "and my father's was Ruwee. They wanted my sister and me to have the best childhood possible, but they also wanted us to learn how to live in the real world." She forced herself to smile, though talking about her parents was yanking at her heart. "I was a junior politician for the better part of my childhood, but my parents made sure that I wouldn't miss out on having fun as well." Her smile began to grow more natural. "I remember when I had lessons on my eleventh birthday, my parents walked in right in the middle of class to bring in a cake."

Rianna's eyes almost looked like she wanted to smile back, but her mouth made no motion.

"They died thinking that they had buried their daughter," Padme said, unsure why she was bringing this up. "Your Empire not only killed them, but left them in their suffering for the loss of their child."

Rianna sighed. "Ambassador, I understand how you feel about the Empire. I ask that you understand how I feel about the New Republic."

"I'm trying," said Padme. "Perhaps you can help me."

Rianna looked down, giving the image that she was closing her eyes, shutting herself away from Padme.

"Can you at least tell me his name?" Padme persisted, trying to give her voice an inviting tone.

Rianna stepped backwards, her head looking back up, her eyes widening. She seemed that she was about to run away as she had from Luke, but some intangible force seemed to cease her motion. Her eyes continued to widen until Padme could see redness at the edges of them.

"Lieutenant Gerado Trenn," she mumbled.

Padme held still, unsure what would get the queen to tell her more.

"My...my mother died when I was two and I have no siblings," Rianna forced out in a whisper. "He was the only family I ever knew. I think...I think he was the one who first recommended me to take the throne." She sighed. "Something I don't know if I'm grateful for."

"I understand that," Padme said gently. "I know the burden you have to face."

Rianna's lip shook. "He and I...we were really close. He was opposed to the Rebellion, but I assure you that he wouldn't have wanted to destroy Alderaan. He served on the Death Star because he was placed there. He had no choice." Her eyebrows twitched at the ambassador. "As was the case with most of the hundreds of soldiers on that station, but the Rebellion, who supposedly believes in protecting the innocent, obliterated them along with those who actually planned the Death Star's purpose."

"I know..." Padme said softly. "I wish I knew something to say." Her stomach was jumping as her teeth chewed on her lips until they hurt. What could she say? The Death Star needed to be destroyed...she couldn't compromise on that...but at the same time, she wanted to show compassion for those who had lost their lives in its destruction.

"There's nothing to say," said Rianna. "I just ask that you respect where I come from."

"But what if where you come from is destroying your planet?" Padme inquired.

Rianna's breath left her mouth like a breeze as she once more looked down at the stone floor.

"The past leaves terrible pain, but it still remains in the past," Padme pleaded. "What you need to worry about is the future."

The queen slowly looked back up, her white face still. "I am," she said. Before Padme could say anything more, she turned sharply and walked out of the room, her footsteps loudly echoing off the walls.

Padme stared after her, wondering if she could have said anything that would have made her more open, but quickly concluding that she couldn't have. Rianna would have to decide for herself whether or not to tell them anything more. Much like how Leia could not be forced to accept Anakin as her father, Rianna could not be forced to accept the New Republic. Still, Padme felt that this conversation might have helped.

AN: I'd like to promise you that the next chapter will be up really soon, but I can't make those kinds of promises. I'll try my best, though. :)

PS: Something really WEIRD happened while I was perusing the gift shop outside the Star Tours ride at Disney World. I saw this video game where you steal the plans for the Death Star, and in that game you control a Twil'ik mercenary named...Rianna. I was like, "What the...?" I SWEAR I didn't know about that game when I named the queen. But I guess my instincts were correct - it IS a Star Wars name.