English Assignment:

The Demons Of Love

Love is the source of our inner demons. Whether it be love for our families, friends or partners, love is what brings out the bad in us just as much as it brings out the good. I should know.

The world of love is never perfect. There is no such thing as boy meets girl and then all is happy and wonderful. If that is the case for some, then they have no idea what reality is. Romance takes time and effort, and it is about knowing who you are committing to. Charming words and a bouquet of flowers is only seen in movies.

But it is love that is our downfall, and not just romantically. When you commit yourself to someone, you don't think about the agony that may occur when that person is taken away from you. I experienced that kind of pain, and I tried to take my own life because of it. I lost my parents, and I'd done nothing to help them. The love I had felt towards them had been stronger than my love for life itself, so when they died, my world died too. And it was because of love that my inner demons lurked to the surface. With love comes hate. Powerful, undying hate. That is what balances life. But it is getting the right balance that you have to work at.

I couldn't control my hate. I turned on people instead, because it was love that had destroyed me. I didn't know what else to do. I fell into the darkness, drowning, up until the point I couldn't breathe anymore.

But there was someone who didn't let me fall.

They say that opposites attract. I'm beginning to think that it's true. I became a completely different person, a stranger to myself, and then a boy entered my life. We had some stuff in common: we were stubborn, determined and we had bad histories. But, unlike him, I wanted nothing to do with him. He was too happy for my liking, always keeping his head high. It infuriated me. He was the bright light on the horizon whereas I was the darkness in the abyss.

He was a parasite under my skin. He wouldn't let me go, forever determined to help me out of my depression. And, dare I say it, he did. Frustratingly so. He helped me remember who I used to be, and that I could still be that girl only stronger and wiser. He made me see the light again. But it wasn't just him.

A girl, his best friend, also forced her way into my life. Again, she was so much more different than me. She laughed and smiled constantly, loved to shop, always wanted to help people. She even looked completely different to me. Blonde hair, grey eyes, light makeup on her face. Everything about her was bright and happy. I liked to call her Blondie and Barbie. But we did have something in common, the same as what me and the boy had. She had a dark past.

I came to love them both, but in different ways. I loved the girl as if she were my sister. I loved the boy as if he were my soul mate.

If not for them, I wouldn't have rekindled my relationship with my sister. We had been at odds for six months, mainly because of me. But thanks to them, I was stronger enough to open up to her. And the more I opened, the more we could start living again.

I had refused to love again after mom and dad died. I thought that the human race were horrible, full of destruction and forever being the nightmares in our sleep. I still think that. However, rather recently, I realised why I had given up on love. I was afraid to love again for I was terrified of the thought of losing people. The only way to demolish that fear was to hate.

So I let them go, for I wasn't prepared to lose them.

No one ever thinks of the aftermath love leaves. They feel that they don't have to. But they haven't gone through what I've been through. I know the pros and cons of love. The pros are that it keep you on your own two feet, giving you a reason to live. The cons is that it can completely destroy you.

I admire anyone who has the strength to commit to someone. I just hope they know that one day, they will have to suffer for their happiness.

Written by Claudia Thatcher.

Grade: A+