Sorry for my absence these last couple of days. And for those waiting for emails from me, I do apologise. I will get back to you as soon as I can. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Love, IJKS xxx

Chapter Thirty Five

Rather bewildered, Charlie came to sit on the bed beside Joey. She took both of her hands and looked into her eyes.

"What are you talking about, Joey?" she asked.

"When you're a parent, your first instinct is meant to be to protect your child," Joey ventured. "And I didn't do that today. I let her get hurt, potentially. I put her at risk."

"Joey, those were extreme circumstances today…"

"I still did it, Charlie," Joey insisted. "I shouldn't have tried to close that door. I…"

"We were in danger," Charlie pointed out. "All of us – including Sarah. You acted on instinct."

"That's my point," Joey said. "My instinct should be to protect this one."

She touched her bump.

"Instead, I let myself fall on top of my bump," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "I hurt her. I let her down."

Charlie reached out to hold her.

"You didn't let her down, Joey," she insisted.

"I did!" Joey sobbed. "I'm going to be a terrible mother, Charlie. And I don't think… I don't think I can face that."

"What… what are you saying?" Charlie asked anxiously.

"I don't know if I can keep her after all," Joey said sadly.

Ruby was relieved when there was a knock on the door, having been waiting in for someone to come and fix the crack in the window. She had been hoping it would all be fixed before Charlie and Joey returned from the hospital so that at least they wouldn't have to deal with any of it.

"Hi," she greeted, opening up.

She froze when she found Grant Bledcoe standing there.

"Ruby, I need to talk to you," he said urgently

She tried to close the door on him but he forced his way into the house.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he insisted.

"Stop threatening me then!" she snapped.

He kept his foot in the door but held his hands up as if they were a white flag.

"I don't mean to threaten you," he told her. "I just want to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you and nothing I want to hear either," she said.

"That's funny because you had a hell of lot to say to my wife and I earlier," he replied.

She glared at him.

"You're a rapist and a monster and I don't want anything to do with you," she snapped.

"Then why did you elbow your way into my life?" he wanted to know. "Why come and find me if you didn't want to know me?"

"Because I wanted to tell you what I thought of you," she replied.

"Look, I don't know what lies Charlie has told you about me but I am telling you now, none of it is true," Grant said. "I didn't rape anyone. I would never ever treat a woman like that. I'm not the person you think I am. And I certainly never knew you existed. But now that I do, I would love the opportunity to get to know you, Ruby. And I'm desperate for the chance to explain my side of what happened between your mother and I."

Ruby hesitated.

Charlie and Joey were interrupted by the arrival of Judy, coming to make sure that everything was alright with the baby.

"Have you been in the wars again, young lady?" the midwife teased.

She frowned when she caught the tension in the room and the state that Joey was in.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "Why don't you talk me through it?"

"We're having a crisis about the future," Charlie told her.

"What kind of crisis?" Judy wondered.

"I don't think I'm cut out to be a mother," Joey admitted.

"Oh, Joey," Judy sighed kindly. "You're going to be a wonderful mother. I don't even know you that well and I already know that."

Charlie smiled, retaining hold of her girlfriend's hand.

"How do you know?" Joey asked quietly.

"Do you love your little girl?" Judy asked.

"Yes," Joey said.

"Then you're going to be a wonderful mother," Judy said.

"But it's not as simple as that," Joey protested.

"It is," Judy insisted. "Right now, that's all that little one needs. She needs you to love her."

"Today, she needed me to protect her," Joey argued. "And I didn't do it. I let her get hurt."

"Well, shall we find out about that first, before we start jumping to conclusions?" Judy suggested.

Charlie and Joey both nodded.

"Look, don't make a decision now," Grant said. "But honestly, whatever your mother told you to demonise me, to make you hate me… it's not true. I didn't rape her. I've never treated women with anything but respect and love in all my life. You've met my wife. Do you think she'd still be with me, let me anywhere near my twins if I was the person Charlie was describing?"

Ruby didn't reply. She felt sick and confused. Her head was spinning.

"I can tell you now that she wouldn't," Grant said, answering himself. "I'd have two more kids out there that I'd never have anything to do with."

Ruby swallowed.

"But I really don't want another day to go by without knowing you, Ruby," he said imploringly. "I hate that what, sixteen years have gone by?"

She nodded mutely.

"Sixteen years have gone by without having you in my life," he said. "If Charlie is being honest about you being my daughter then I've missed out on so much."

He reached for her hand. She jerked it away, feeling like she had been burned. He didn't persist with the physical contact.

"We've missed out on so much," he added instead. "I'd really love the chance to get to know you, Ruby. And I really need to tell you my side of the story. It's not fair that you only ever hear whatever your Mum's been telling you all these years."

His words stung unintentionally. It wasn't like Charlie had been telling her anything all these years. All of this had happened over a matter of months. And that made it hurt all the more. Her head began to swim.

"Look, I'll be down at the beach for the next few hours," Grant said. "Come and find me if you want to talk. Or… here's my card."

He dug into his wallet and pulled out a small business card and handed it over. She felt like a traitor just accepting it.

"I hope you'll call or come and find me," he said.

Then he left.

"Well, Baby Sarah is perfectly happy and healthy," Judy confirmed, once the image was up on the screen for both Charlie and Joey to see. "Everything looks just perfect to me."

"She's not injured or anything?" Joey asked anxiously.

"Nope," Judy said. "You can hear that strong heartbeat, can't you?"

"Yes," Charlie and Joey replied in unison.

"And everything else is perfectly in order," Judy confirmed. "And looking at measurements, she's weighing in at 4.3 pounds now and measuring at forty three centimetres. Everything is looking really good."

"I really didn't hurt her?" Joey asked.

"Of course you didn't, Jo," Charlie said, desperate to encourage her.

"Look at her," Judy agreed. "She's moving around. She's happy."

Joey couldn't help but smile.

"So, why don't we talk through all this distress?" Judy suggested. "What's going on?"

"I'm scared," Joey admitted.

She clutched Charlie's hand, afraid of being too far from her. Charlie lifted Joey's hand and kissed it.

"What are you scared of?" Judy asked, putting the scanning equipment away and offering her patient her undivided attention.

"I'm scared of being a bad Mum," Joey said sadly. "I'm scared of letting her down. I'm scared of not being able to bond with her."

"But you already love her," Charlie pointed out.

"Exactly," Judy agreed. "That's already the perfect start."

Joey remained uncertain but at least a little comforted.

"It's understandable that you're scared," Judy said. "It would be worrying if you weren't. But everything you're uncertain of… it'll come."

"But I put her at risk today," Joey reminded her. "I didn't protect her."

"You fell," Charlie argued. "It was an accident."

"I threw myself at the door as if I wasn't pregnant," Joey countered.
"Because you were trying to protect everyone – Sarah included – from an evil, evil man," Charlie insisted. "You were protecting her."

"I think you need to listen to your partner," Judy said. "She's making a lot of sense."

Joey sighed heavily and leant against Charlie.

"I just don't want to mess this up," she said, tears creeping out.

Charlie hugged her closer.

"You won't," she said.

"You won't," Judy agreed. "And the best thing you can do to ensure that right now is to just relax and take as much stress out of your life as you can, okay?"

Joey nodded, her heart still heavy.

After the man had come around to fix the window, Ruby paced the house. She clutched her phone, and the card containing her biological father's phone number. Should she go and see him? Should she stay away? Hadn't she caused enough pain today? But she wanted to hear what he had to say. She was beyond confused. She headed towards the door, still debating whether to walk through it or not. She stopped when Charlie and Joey arrived back home.

Next time… Joey bonds with her bump, Ruby makes a decision and Charlie struggles at work…