Hi. Yeah, you probably don't remember me, or this story and I am so so sorry for the length of time it's taken. This year has been so hectic (as I explained in that last update) but I've just finished my State Exams and now I'm free all summer! Hopefully we can pick up where we left off? I really hope so, because I've missed you guys, whether you've missed me is a story for another day, but anyway, lets clean up on a few things, shall we?
I've just started a Tumblr for the story and the URL is: thenextnewdirectionsfanficdottumblrdotcom
On here I've got character pictures along with profiles and summaries of each character (well the ones I knew the face-claims of) If your character is not there, send me a face-claim ASAP please :)
Onto the actual story! Over the next few chapters I'm going to be dealing with a subject that some people may find distressing or uncomfortable and I will totally understand if you choose not to read it. I just feel like I'm well informed enough to educate people on this topic because it is not advocated enough for in mainstream media and has never been done before on Glee. The topic is severe teenage depression. Please read with care. And I may as well put it out there that anyone who needs someone to talk to about anything, my Inbox is always open, you're not alone :)
Enjoy!
All of the New Directions had mixed emotions about going back to school on Monday. Some were happy, others were confused and some were fed up with life.
Mary walked through McKinleys front door, wanting to be anywhere else. She was so torn apart, so upset and confused about her fathers new relationship. She hung her head, as if the whole school was watching her. Trudging over to her locker, she found Daniel standing waiting for her.
"Hey Mezzie. Look, we're all a little worried about you, are you okay?" he asked, gentler than she'd ever seen him before. And while any other time she would have put on a smile and shrugged it off, today was not a good day.
"I'm fine Scooter, now get out of my way. I need to get to class, and so do you." she snapped, pulling open the tin door before staring darkly at him, a hidden instruction for him to leave. He nodded quietly to himself before turning on his heel and walking away, glancing a backwards glance at the red head before sighing and heading to Math.
Mary watched him turn the corner before going back to her locker and looking at the pictures that were stuck to the door. Her mom and dad, Bella, Una and Lily, Kyle and Daniel. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before reaching up and pulling each picture off one by one. She ripped each one up and threw them in the nearest trash can. She raised her eyebrows at Bella, Mollie and Flynn who she knew were whispering about her. They all scurried off. She shrugged at a concerned looking Una, Stephanie, Beck and Faith, who all exchanged weary glances before walking off too. Brian and Patrick stopped to talk to her on their way in, and she blanked them. That left one person.
Kyle.
He stopped next to her locker and watched her move books around, doing nothing of use but seeming to find therapy from it. Kyle sighed and tilted his head to one side, watching her and whispering every now and then.
"You shouldn't keep all this bottled up Mary. There's 17 other people in glee club who would listen to you any time of the day or night if you needed it. We're a family, Mezzie, we love each other. We just want to see you happy again, because we miss the old you, the old Mary that-"
"Go. Away." she hissed, her hands shaking as she continued to roughly throw books around her locker.
"Mary, please." he sighed, going to touch her shoulder.
"I SAID GO AWAY!" she screamed. The hallway went dead and everyone turned to look.
"Mary, don't make a scene." Kyle begged, trying to grab onto her flailing arms.
"DON'T TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screeched, slapping and scratching at him, pushing him away from her. Flynn, Brian and Beck came running back up the hall and all three tried to restrain her, grabbing her arms and waist. Kyle watched her helplessly, as she screamed abuse at him and the other three. What was going on? What was happening to her? He felt two of the girls, he thought it was Bella and Una, come to take him somewhere else. And as they led him away, he watched Mary, slapping Flynn across the face and kicking Beck in the shins as Brian held onto her waist. Mr Schue and Sue running up the hallway were the last thing he saw, before the the door was closed.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
"It's okay, she's going to be fine." whispered Bella's voice next to him. Kyle's zoned out state faded as he noticed a green first aid kit lying on the table, Daniel sat in a seat next to him and Una sat on the table helping Bella, who was dressing a scratchmark on Kyle's face.
"What happened to her?" he asked croakily, taking the glass of water being offered to him by Daniel.
"She's just going through a bad time at the minute." replied Una simply, her eyes not leaving the table.
"Mr Schue and the school nurse are taking care of her now." added Daniel, squeezing his hand. Kyle nodded.
"I thought depressed people didn't even speak, let alone scream at people?" mumbled Kyle. The word 'depressed' made the other 3 wince, as it was the kind of word they never thought they would associate with Mary.
"Every case of depression is different, that's why it's so hard to diagnose." answered Una in a quiet voice, looking up. She looked more sad than usual, thought Kyle, and like this sort of thing was nothing new to her. She smiled at him and gave him a wink before leaving to go check if the three boys were okay.
"She isn't actually depressed though." added Bella, closing the latches on the little green first aid kit. Daniel raised an eyebrow next to him.
"Why don't you think so?" he asked. Bella gulped.
"Because it's Mary, she's invincible, isn't she?" she shrugged, trying to make it seem absentminded, but failing miserably and further confirming to the boys that she was in denial over her friends mental state.
"What happens now?" asked Kyle, turning to Daniel as Bella put the box back into the teachers drawer of the empty classroom.
"What do you mean?" replied Daniel, smiling reassuringly at him. Kyle hated when he did that, because it meant that the situation was so bad that Daniel had to lie to make everyone feel better.
"What's going to happen to Mary?"
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Mary sat in the chair in front of Figgins, Mr Schue by her side, Sue pacing the floor and Brian, Beck and Flynn sitting on the couches by the door. She had calmed down and went back to her zoned out, disconnected phase from earlier. She refused to answer any of Figgins' questions on whether she wanted help from the school counselor, or outside the school. She didn't say a single word. The three boys exchanged helpless looks with Mr Schue as yet another question went unanswered. Faith, who had alerted Mr Schue and Sue in the first place, sat on the arm of Mary's chair, holding her hand.
"She doesn't have to say anything if she doesn't want to." Faith snapped after another question was put to Mary by Figgins.
"We need her to talk Faith." sighed Will, looking up at the black haired girl, a worried and sad look in his eyes.
"Well maybe she's not ready to talk. I know how it feels to be low, and forcing someone to talk can be the worst thing in the world. Let her talk when she wants to talk." replied Faith. Mary seemed unfazed by the whole squabble and continued to stare at the bookshelf behind Figgins head. The door opened and closed and Una stepped inside the already crowded office.
"How is Mr Yang?" asked Figgins, looking around Mary up to Una.
"He's fine. A few scratches and a little shocked but he's okay." she replied, sitting on the couch next to Brian. Figgins nodded.
"And you three? Any damage done?" asked Sue, looking to the three boys on the couch.
"No, no. A few bruises and sore cheeks but nothing major." shrugged Beck, the other two nodding in agreement.
"I'm sorry." croaked Mary, suddenly. The room went silent and all eyes fell on her.
"Well you should be young lady." snapped Sue angrily, earning her glares and scowls. Faith smiled at the redhead in the chair and stroked her hair.
"It's okay, not too much harm done, eh?" she chuckled. Mary's facial expression did not change, her mouth still open from her last few words.
"I think a day in bed with lots of ice cream is in order." smiled Una, patting her on the shoulder. Again, no change in Mary's facial expression. Mr Schue nodded in agreement with the two girls.
"Yeah, I'll get the secretary to call your mom, okay?" he said, standing up and leaving the office. Sue glared at all the kids before leaving too, and the three boys came over and offered her some kind of embrace, all ignored. They left together, Una going with them, leaving Faith, Mary and Figgins.
"Just remember that there is every support there for you Miss Becken. Just ask." he nodded, before Faith helped Mary out of the office and to the secretary's office next door, where she left her sitting in the waiting area for her mother. Mary watched the other students carry on their lives, as she wondered what was happening to her's.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Lily arrived into school at 11, late due to a dentist appointment. She made her way over to her locker, opening it and getting her books out for English. She looked over at Mary's locker and frowned. Where was she? She spotted Mollie and Patrick walk past.
"Hey," she smiled. They half smiled in return. "What's going on? Where's Mary and why is everyone acting weird?"
The junior and the freshman exchanged glances and they both sighed in unison. Lily looked around and saw other members of the glee club, all looking sad and worried and not like themselves. Mollie noticed her wandering eyes and tried to seem cheerier.
"Mary just got a little upset earlier. Everything's okay now, she just went home to lie down for a while." she shrugged, trying to brush it off as nothing. Patrick nodded in agreement. Lily narrowed her eyes, not believing things were that simple.
"What do you mean she got a little upset?" she asked, closing the door of her locker. Both Mollie and Patrick squirmed in discomfort.
"She just wasn't feeling very well." Patrick answered. Lily nodded absently and then she saw someone else. Daniel and Kyle walked past, Kyle's cheek with a white bandage on it.
"Kyle! What happened?" she gasped, running up to him. Mollie and Patrick exchanged glances as Daniel stepped in, not wanting Kyle to be upset further.
"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just leave it."
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" begged Lily, as Stephanie, Beck and Flynn joined the ring.
"Mary... she, she um, she got a little angry earlier and she, um, she lashed out at a few of us." shrugged Kyle quietly, nodding at Flynn and Beck, who Lily noticed also had a few scratches and bruises.
"Where is she now?" asked Lily, worriedly.
"She's at home, resting. She needs to be on her own for a while, and we're going to give her all the help she needs when she asks for it, yeah?" smiled Stephanie, rubbing Lily's back comfortingly. Lily nodded, but still looked worried and upset.
"Listen, Lily. Mary's going to be fine, we're all here for her and she knows that. If we all get upset and worried then she will too. We need to keep our heads and make sure we provide a stable environment for her when she needs it." stated Flynn, staring directly into Lily's eyes to make sure she understood.
"Flynn's right. So that means no more stupid arguments, no more fighting, no more squabbling. We need to keep level headed to try and settle her back down again." agreed Beck. The New Directions agreed to talk later and parted ways for class.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Will walked into the choir room to a group of silent adolescents, no one speaking and everyone thinking. He sighed.
"You know, I heard one of you say earlier that we need to provide a stable environment for Mary when she comes back. And I thought 'That's great, the kids are taking the mature, moral route, good for them.'. And then I walk in here, and you're doing the total opposite. That safe, stable environment you're talking about providing is one that needs to be familiar to Mary, one she's comfortable in. This, is not a familiar environment, for any of you. Where's the laughter, the singing, the chatting, the bickering, the dirty looks, the dancing? That's the real glee club." he announced. The members looked around at each other sheepishly. They knew he was right.
"It's been a difficult day." murmered Daniel.
"I know it has. Which is why I'm making this weeks assignment simply, 'Happy Songs'. Songs you listen to to cheer you up after a bad day," smiled Will, writing it up on the whiteboard in big letters and drawing a big smiley face next to it. The glee club all nodded in agreement. "And guys? Tread carefully around Mary over the next few weeks, and listen to her when she wants you to. Do everything she asks you to, within reason of course. But please, be careful okay?"
The kids knew what he meant by 'be careful'. They knew, but they wished they didn't. Happy Songs week had got off to the worst possible start.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
"Alright, where do you want this?" asked Mr Connors from behind a cardboard box. Stephanie chewed the sleeves of her cardigan.
"Uh... here would be great." she replied, pointing to a spot of the floor at the foot of the bed. Faith's dad left the box down and stood up with his hands behind his back surveying the spare room where Stephanie would be staying.
"I'm heading down to the hardware store on Saturday, if you want to come with me and pick a tin of paint that's cool?" he suggested, looking down at the small blonde girl. Stephanie smiled sadly.
"Thanks, but it's okay. It'll be fine." she shrugged.
"It'll be fine when it gets a lick of paint and some new furniture. Listen Stephanie, I know that these past few days have been hard for you, but we're always here for you. I know how your mom must be feeling, and I've told her that we can talk things through together. I'm gonna work this out for you, honey. You don't have to worry about a thing." he smiled. Stephanie looked up at him and smiled.
"Thanks Mr Connors." she whispered. He chuckled and threw an arm around her shoulders, them both surveying the bedroom together. They both spun around when a knock came to the door. Faith stood, leaning against the doorframe, smirking. Her father smiled back at her and withdrew his arm from around Stephanie.
"I'll leave you two be for a while." he nodded, walking out the door, smirking at Faith and jokingly pointing a finger at her in a mock 'stern' way. Faith walked into the room and sat on the bed.
"Well this is..."
"Lovely." interjected Stephanie.
"A shithole." countered Faith with a smirk, looking up at the dirty ceiling. It was the room in the house that the Connors family had sort of forgotten, the room that everything was thrown into, the storage room called the spare room if you will.
"It's fine." insisted Stephanie, sitting next to her.
"I'm banning you from using the word 'fine' from now on." smiled Faith absent-mindedly, staring out the window at a group of kids playing on the street. Stephanie sighed and looked down at the floor.
"Will this all fix itself?" she asked quietly. Faith knocked out of her trance and looked down at her. She tilted her head to one side and smiled.
"Of course it will." she shrugged.
"How do you know?" asked Stephanie. Faith laughed.
"Why do you ask me for an answer only to question the answer I give, huh?" she chuckled. Stephanie giggled.
"That's what they all say in movies though." she smiled.
"Well this isn't a movie, this is real. And I'm about as real as you get, babe." shrugged Faith, glancing down at the tattoo on her wrist and looking away quickly again.
"No you're not." replied Stephanie. Faith looked up and eyed her girlfriend curiously.
"What do you mean?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows and studying the blonde's smiling face.
"There's people more real than you." smirked Stephanie.
"Like who?"
"Like Teen Mom, which starts in 5 minutes. Now get up and make me something to eat." she giggled, pulling Faith up off the bed. Faith groaned and dragged her feet behind her as Stephanie skipped down the stairs.
"You absolute bitch."
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Kyle and Daniel strolled through the mall together, window shopping and talking every now and then. After a while, Kyle noticed Daniel grow quieter than usual, and when they stopped to get a smoothie, he pounced.
"Alright, what's up with you?" he asked, stirring his straw around the pink coloured pureé. Daniel looked up.
"What do you mean?"
"It feels like I'm out with a dead person, you've barely said two words since we started talking."
Daniel sighed and glanced around the near empty smoothie bar. He shook his head vigorously and sighed.
"I'm just worried about her Kyle." he sighed. Kyle thought for a moment, before realising her was talking about Mary. He nodded.
"Everyone is. But we're going to work on it together, as a team. It'll all work out, it always does." he smiled, sipping the smoothie and reading texts from his parents telling him to be home by nine. Daniel tutted, making Kyle look up.
"Why am I the only one that's admitting that Mary's capable of killing herself?" he snapped angrily. Kyle's mouth fell open.
"Daniel don't say that."
"You saw Bella with your own two eyes this morning! She wouldn't admit that Mary was even depressed, let alone suicidal!" hissed Daniel. Kyle shook his head furiously.
"Shut up. Shut up NOW." he insisted, banging his beaker on the table, making the one other couple in the smoothie bar look up. Even Daniel was taken aback by his agression.
"It's a possibilty we need to take into account." he shrugged.
"It's a possibilty that none of us should dream of until God forbid it actually happens." replied Kyle hastily. Daniel sighed, admitting defeat.
"I know she's our friend, but when you're that low, you're capable of doing anything to yourself." he concluded, looking away once more.
"We have to be there for her. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. We have to be ready to listen when she's ready to talk." Kyle insisted. Daniel nodded in agreement.
"I agree. But we also need to be prepared for a phonecall telling us that we were too late."
Kyle gulped and shivered, imagining the scenario. How would they carry on?
They wouldn't. End of.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Una and Beck sat in her bedroom, silence descending on their usually talkative evenings. He sat in the chair at her desk, a History book in his hands that he wasn't reading. He was watching her, sat on the end of her bed, pretending to read too, but failing miserably. She looked so sad and upset.
"Are you okay?" he asked, breaking the silence in the room. She looked up.
"Yeah, fine." she shrugged, flicking the page over.
"Please don't lie to me." he sighed, putting his book down and sitting next to her. He looked at her sadly when she shrunk away from him.
"I'm not lying to you." she whispered.
"There you go again." he sighed. She slammed her book shut and put it on her bedside locker, jumping up and standing over him, hands on her hips, eyes blazing.
"So what do you want me to do Beck, hmm? Cry rivers and mourn over someone who isn't dead? Do you want me to be inconsolable and hysterical, throwing hissy fits and hitting you and then falling into your arms after it all to make us both feel better about this? Mary could die Beck. As in we'll never see her again. Do you honestly expect me to give an honest, rational answer to a stupid question, asking me if I'm okay when one of my friends won't speak to anyone she's so low? So don't you dare tell me not to lie to you because you lied to everyone when you almost got her pregnant, which started this mess in the first place. This is all your fault you stupid, STUPID BOY! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" she ranted and raved, her low, intimidating voice turning to a shout by the end of her berating of Beck. He stared at her open mouthed. She stormed around her room, mumbling to herself and shouting at him every now and then.
"Una, calm down babe," he hushed her, grabbing a hold of her wrist, her arms flailing all over the place and the clear train of tears falling down her face. Her shouts turned to muffled insults and then to the inconsolable tears she was talking about. "Shhh, it's okay. You've got it off your chest now, eh? It's alright." he whispered as she continued to cry, staining his t-shirt. They stood in the middle of the room for a few minutes, as she cried and cried and cried.
"I'm sorry," she hiccuped into his chest quietly. "I didn't mean it, I really didn't."
"It's okay. No harm done, eh?" he smiled as she pulled her head away from his chest.
"I suppose you can have a good laugh at panda face at my expense, eh?" she smiled waterly, rubbing at her blackened face. He chuckled and pecked her forehead as they laughed. And then she got into bed and he recounted the tales of Princess Una once again.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Mollie sat woodenly on the couch in the Turner living room, feeling Lily's little sisters' eyes burning a hole into her soul. Lily returned from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn.
"Scram!" she snapped at the two girls, who jumped up and ran up the stairs again. Lily sat next to Mollie, who immediately got more comfortable without having two eight year olds staring at her.
"Thanks Lily." she smiled, taking a handful of popcorn as 'Pitch Perfect's opening credits began. Lily smiled.
"It's only popcorn Dollie." she giggled, kicking her feet up on the footstool, Mollie joining her.
"No, not for the popcorn. For all this. I know it can't be easy for any of you." sighed Mollie, feeling guilty and a little bit responsible for being too gutsy. Mollie was never kicked out of the house, Stephanie was. Mollie didn't have to follow her, because she didn't have a back up plan like Stephanie's. Stephanie had Faith, and they'd been together long enough for it to be justifiable for them to live together. Whereas Mollie and Patrick had been together for a week, and Patrick's place was already too small for just him and his mother. So now, Mollie had found herself asking Lily for refuge, and Lily being Lily, assured her it would be okay without even asking permission. But her parents understood the situation, and Mollie was welcomed fairly well. She was sharing Lily's room, but she didn't mind, it was a roof over her head with a nice girl in a nice house with a nice family. It was fine.
"You don't need to thank me!" laughed Lily, making Mollie smile. "It's what friends are supposed to do!"
"God everything's just going to shit for everyone." sighed Mollie. Lily nodded in agreement.
"I know, but as Kyle would say 'It'll all work out, it always does'!" she smiled. Mollie chuckled.
"I hope he's right." she whispered. Lily nodded.
"Does Stephanie know you're here?" she asked. Mollie sighed.
"No. And I don't plan on telling her either." she replied. Lily nodded understandingly.
"Okay, but I really do think you should tell her."
Mollie sighed and shrugged, contemplating everything in her head as Lily zoned out next to her. She twirled a piece of hair around her finger and bit her lip. Lily looked up.
"Oh Dollie! Focus! You're missing the best bits!"
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
"Flynn look!" squealed Bella, running up to a stand of teddy bears and other toys. He caught up with her and looked at the game. He looked at Bella's pleading eyes and smiled.
"Alright, which one do you want?" he asked. Bella grinned and pointed at a pink coloured poodle teddy at the back. Flynn paid the stall holder the dollar for three goes to hit the target. Sure enough, on his last turn, he managed it and won the teddy for her. She beamed at him and they headed off for a walk.
Flynn and Bella were spending time getting to know each other on a 'first date' at Six Flags. They'd spent the afternoon on rollercoasters and rides all round, but the date was coming to a close as they walked along the fairground eating candyfloss. Bella clutched her teddy and threw the cone of her candyfloss away to look at it.
"What are you gonna call him?" asked Flynn, stuffing his hands in his pocket and smiling down at her. She giggled.
"Well he's utterly adorable so I'm going to have to call him Flynn." she winked, holding the teddy close to her. Flynn blushed scarlet and jumped a little as she reached for his hand and grabbed hold of it. He smiled.
"Did you have a good time?" he asked her. She nodded.
"The best afternoon ever." she grinned, skipping along next to him.
"Good," he smiled. The evening got chillier and he felt her hand go cold next to him. "You cold?"
"A little." she replied, her teeth chattering. He pulled his hoodie off from under his jacket and pulled it down over her head.
"There ya go, toasty and warm again?" he smirked. She nodded, smiling up at him.
Flynn walked her right up to her front door and insisted she keep his hoodie for the night when she attempted to give it back.
"Thank you for today Flynn." she smiled. He smiled back.
"It was my pleasure." he grinned. She stood on her tip toes and kissed him softly on the lips. Then the porch light flicked on and they heard footsteps coming to the door.
"Night Flynn." she smiled.
"Night night Baby-Bel." he replied, jogging off down her drive.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
Patrick was at Brian's house for the evening, as the older boy was giving him drum lessons to help out in glee club more.
"So how are you and Mollie these days?" asked Brian, as they took a break when one of his moms brought it snacks for them.
"It's going good, better than I thought." he smiled, taking a drink of soda as Brian munched on a cookie.
"That's cool," he nodded."So what do you think we should do for Mary?"
Patrick shrugged. "I think she needs to help us to help her. We're just kids Brye, we're not medical professionals who can really help her." Brian nodded to this.
"Yeah I know, I just wish we could turn back the clock and work out how all this started."
"I hear ya, I feel so guilty for not realising sooner." sighed Patrick. Brian nodded.
"It's been coming, we just didn't see it." he sighed. Patrick nodded then chuckled.
"Speaking of things I didn't see coming," he laughed. "Guess who I saw at Six Flags today?"
"Who?" asked Brian, taking a swig of his drink.
"Flynn and Bella. Looked like a proper first date and everything!" replied Patrick, a mouthful of cookies and soda being swallowed down as he seemed to have gotten the munchies. Brian however, lost all appetite. He tried to take in what Patrick had said. What about them taking it slowly with Flynn and Lily? What about caring for each others feelings?
Well screw that. Two can play that game.
No more Mr Nice Brye. (A/N I am so fucking sorry, I couldn't help it.)
So how was it? Have I still got it, whatever 'it' is? Please review, they make me smile :)
Totally Awesome
So The Drama
(I'm baaaaaack! :D)