WARNING: This is a parody of My Immortal. The following work of fiction is not meant to be taken seriously. But then again, it's not like My Immortal was ever taken seriously to begin with.

Harry Potter and characters (C) J.K. Rowling. My Immortal and characters (C) Tara Gilesbie.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX, THO UD REALLY LIKE IT IF DA FORMUR HAPPEND! fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 and don't even think of hijacking my account to upload an unoffishul and premature ending becuz I dont want THAT! raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta my plastic surjury... i mean vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL (WHICH WILL SOMEHOW SHIFT BACK TO EBONY'S POV EARLY ON)

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor, because Enoby was in2 that.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot, and I'm only saying this becuz Tara told me to. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster, because I'm really into evil overlords!1"

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata... I mean Ebony," said Vampire. "...Crap, did I either just call the author sexy or call you that because of your boobies? Anyway, Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster even though that's not really how amnesia potion works lol." said Enoby.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly. "Even though that's precisely what the author wants?"

"OMFG u guys r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep who is the designated villain.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow. "Seriously, you were created to be Tara's doormat and exist only to make her feel better about herself even though you are a million times better than her in every way!"

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room before her name changes yet again."

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room after the POV changed from Draco back to... someone who is neither Draco or Ebory! But whoever's POV this is, Profesor Sinister wasn't there... she was probably trying to have her name legally changed to something else because it keeps shifting around between two certain ones. Instead Tom Rid was.

Oh hi fuckers he said without quotation marks. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez, because you need some clovez to make zucchini bread, right?

I took out da cloves from da bag. There were also some clothes in da bag too. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz that smelled of cheese, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset that probably smelled like cheese as well since they were in the bag with the bootz.

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a not-so-gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag and began modeling them in my usual over-the-top fashion.

"OK Profesor Sinister isn't hr, because I don't think she works in Human Resources. Anyway, what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall... which presumably is the only black wall in the entire room, oddly enough.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed trying to make "Oh my fucking Satan" a catchphrase. On it said Every1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too confused about whether she should be called Sinister or Trevolry she is in Azkhabian now. So when she returns, expect her to have a Russian-sounding name! Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now even though Hogwarts never had one. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11 I actually LIKED both of her old names!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came, and then returned after he changed his clothes.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly after Draco pulled his zipper up, I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine, which I still think was Tim Meadows!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire, where I think they did some yaoi stuff... hopefully. Sudenly I wuz back in tim, who probably likes it that way!11 I looked around. It was... Profesor Slutborn's efface, which is a verb that not only means "to erase" but also RHYMES with "erase"! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It was blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it, like everything else in the story. It was the shape of a cross, which I am supposed to hate but I end up using it anyway. So being the hypocrite I am, I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz... Dumblydore!11 I mean, Profesor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily without quote marks I don't know wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY ALSO WITHOUT QUOTE MARKS, AND WITH THE CAPS LOCK KEY ON TOO.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought this fic had class... I mean I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket... because the author apparently thought you, the reader, were in this fic for some reason.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn, because that excuse works every time!

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. By the way, reader, take my clothes off! They should be worn by ME, and only by ME! Also, Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez Will Never Hurt U by MCR... and they'll probably end up sounding better than MY crappy band!

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming, and pretty soon he'll have to change his clothes too." said Serious. "BTW in keeping with the theme of giving canon characters uncharacteristically dark-sounding new names for no reason, u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came, and of course, had to change his clothes. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson (Soulja Spirit Buu Jackson?), blak congres shoes (the choice shoes of the White House), a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie because Tara just felt like sticking two random men's clothing items together.

"OK I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan... where I would probably be doing some... Satanic things... I guess.

Seven chapters left!