Chapter 37 – One Step at a Time
"In marriage, you must put everything else surrounding the two of you in its proper place. Your time together is extremely precious. You must ensure that your professions do not bleed into the marriage. I've seen it too many times sitting in this chair – a marriage playing second fiddle to career aspirations. Make certain that this does not happen to you."
Christian and I are holding hands at our second official week of premarital counseling with Dr. Flynn. This Tuesday evening, we are focusing on mutual expectations. After Flynn gives his spiel, the room is eerily silent. His warning penetrates something deep. However, there must be some exceptions, I'm sure. In fact, I'm sitting right next to one enormous exception.
"Ana, you look like you have some reservations concerning what I just said," Dr. Flynn zooms in on me. I sigh. From the corner of my eye, I can see Christian's head turning in my direction.
"Well…Christian owns a multi-billion dollar company. He obviously has to remain plugged in at all times – and I get that," I say softly. I turn to Christian and he raises his brows as if he agrees with our predicament.
"And understanding that your husband-to-be is in high demand is very important, Ana. However, there will need to be some clear boundaries established, or else lines can begin to get blurred and the marriage may end up as a distant second in a long list of priorities. There needs to be an agreement between the two of you as to when business is allowed in the home. For example, there should be no work calls at the dinner table. Also, calls while on vacation should be very limited, if not eliminated entirely," Flynn strongly advises.
Christian and I glance at each other and then turn to Flynn. We nod in understanding.
"So this week, the two of you need to sit together and come to an agreement on this week's precept. And you also need to understand cues. Christian, if Ana is feeling neglected because you are way too focused on work, you need to be able to read the signs. The same goes for you, Ana. Perhaps you want to establish that if you are feeling pushed aside due to your spouse's work taking precedence, you will communicate your grievance immediately and not let those emotions fester. This will give the other the opportunity to acknowledge their spouse's feelings and assure them exactly when work will be put away," Flynn advises.
Pretty sound advice, I think.
"So, Ana – I'll start with you. Is there anything outside of today's topic that you would like to discuss before we break for the week?" Flynn asks.
I turn to my side and I glance at my shoulder bag. Should I? This is the third week in a row that I have brought my notebook into this room. I continue to write things in it – questions that I would like answers to concerning my future husband. However, after the last session especially, I have been slightly discouraged from bringing anything up.
My hope when I first solicited Dr. Flynn to counsel us as a couple was solely to get inside the head of my fiancé. I needed to get a better understanding of why Christian is the way he is. As time progressed, Christian has become more open with me. However, there are still certain subjects that remain off limits. For one, Christian doesn't like to talk about his childhood before the Greys adopted him, nor does he like to share the details of his night terrors. Thankfully, he hasn't had any of those lately.
However, instead of learning about Christian's faults in these sessions, I'm getting a pretty big helping of my own. I feel foolish now lugging this notebook with me. Besides, I'm still eating crow over bringing Jeremy into my going away party earlier this month.
But there's one thing I always wanted some clarity on, and I don't need my notebook to recall the issue. I slowly remove my hand from Christian's side and I thread my fingers together on my lap. I look down at them.
"There's one thing that Christian hasn't shared with me," I murmur.
"Oh?" I hear Flynn say. I look up at the doctor with hesitation.
"He won't tell me exactly why he tore down the playroom," I say quietly. I can hear Grey sigh next to me.
"He hasn't communicated to you why the room no longer exists?" Flynn asks. I shake my head. Nope.
"Ana, did you object to the room being dismantled?" the doctor inquires. Did I? Well, I mean – I understand that the room had negative connotations for Christian. But the night that he and I spent together in that room, it was – wonderful. I thought that we could redefine what that room means for him. For us. Perhaps the scars were just too deep for him to fathom doing that.
"I'm not sure if I objected. I just wanted a clearer understanding as to why Christian was so against the room remaining after we spent time together there," I say. The doctor turns to his client. Christian rolls his eyes.
"She made me take her in there," Christian says with a sour look. Flynn then turns to me. Oh no.
"Ana, was there a particular reason why you urged Christian to take you in there?" the doctor asks. Crap. And I suddenly feel foolish. Hell, I have no other choice but to be brutally honest. I mean we are in therapy.
"Well, I wanted to understand why Christian was so controlling over many areas of my life – My job, where I lived, who I hung out with. I thought that if I allowed him to be the dominant that he was inside of the playroom, that he would learn how to relax when it came to the other areas of my life…especially over my career."
There. I said it.
"Wow, Ana. That was quite some insight there. It's a very logical conclusion that you derived. But as you garner a better understanding of not only Christian but of yourself, you will see that things aren't always quite black and white. There's a vast plane of gray that you have to contend with," Dr. Flynn explains. 'A vast plane of gray' – how apt.
"Christian and I have discussed the playroom coming down in our one-on-one sessions. However, I would rather the two of you have the discussion alone outside of this room. This will be living practice on how to truly entrust one another with matters of the heart. Christian has certainly come a long way, but he still has quite a ways to go – as we all do," Flynn says warmly.
….
"More wine, Ana?" Mrs. Jones asks sweetly. I nod absently.
Christian and I are at the breakfast bar partaking in Mrs. Jones' mouthwatering penne pasta in marinara and freshly grated Parmesan cheese. Christian's efficient housekeeper pours me another glass of chilled red wine before heading out of the kitchen.
Christian has yet to address what Dr. Flynn urged us this evening in our premarital counseling session to discuss. Well, I figure that Grey has seven days to at least give me some explanation as to why he was so hell bent on destroying the playroom. Well, at least he has discussed the topic with Dr. Flynn. I feel somewhat relieved at the notion.
"You want to take Sparky out for a stroll together after dinner?" Christian says to me. I look up at him and nod. Yes – an opportunity to talk.
"I need to get Mrs. Jones' recipe for her sauces. They are delicious," I say after savoring a forkful of it.
"Your tomato sauce is quite good as well," Christian complements.
"But there's something else that Mrs. Jones does to hers, and I can't quite put a finger on it," I contemplate. Christian shrugs.
"It's all good to me, baby," he smirks.
Thirty minute later, we are outside bundled up in our winter wear on a chilly Seattle night. Christian and I are holding gloved hands while in his other hand, Christian grips the leash tethered to our rapidly growing pooch. Even on a cold, late weeknight, the city remains full of life. Perhaps commuters are making their way home after a late dinner or after running a few last minute errands.
"So, the playroom," Christian starts in an even tone.
Holy crap. He's going to talk. My ears tune out everything else.
"After you and I had a…very memorable evening in there, I was reconsidering keeping the room. Of course, we would have gotten rid of all of the really heavy shit," Christian prefaces. Yes, obviously. I'm still quite new to sex, so whips and other implements of pain would have not been on my short list.
"That night after we left that room, I couldn't sleep. In my head, I started rethinking our relationship entirely. Before that night, I spent so much effort reconditioning my thoughts. I knew the moment I met you that I was done with the lifestyle. Then that night happened with us…in that room." Holy shit.
It's extremely chilly as the wind starts to pick up, and I can tell that Sparky is ready to go back in to the warmth. Just a few more minutes, little buddy. I need to hear what Daddy has to say.
"I started to wonder if you really could be a submissive after all. I wondered if I could train you – you know – fully immerse you in the lifestyle."
I turn my head and frown at him, perplexed. Me as a submissive? Does that mean he wanted to beat me with all of that crazy shit that hung along those walls? Christian stops in his tracks and turns to face me.
"But Ana, we had already reached the point of no return. I'd never shared my bed, my time, my attention…my heart with any of my submissives. Ever. I had completely broken all of the rules the moment I fell in love with you," he reveals. Oh my. Christian then turns on his heel and tugs me gently by the hand. We resume our stroll.
"I saw Flynn the very next day to discuss this with him. I really wanted to explore this alternative. He encouraged me to think about it a little more before bringing it up to you. Then that night, I had a dream." He tapers off at the last part of his sentence. Oh no. Instantly, I recall Christian's night terror. I felt absolutely helpless watching him struggle in his sleep. My heart aches just recalling that night.
Christian remains quiet for a few beats. It appears as if he is afraid to say what lies on the tip of his tongue. It's as if he's afraid that the words might come to life once they leave his mouth.
"I dreamed that you left me. For good."
The look on his face after he says the words stops my heart. Oh no. It's obviously his very worse nightmare. It's my worse nightmare. I can't imagine my life without Christian in it.
I find myself reminding Christian time and time again that I will never leave him. But apparently, he knows of an exception. My scalp prickles. Christian stops the three of us cold in our tracks. He continues to talk, but keeps his eyes straight ahead. He looks…lost.
"We were in the playroom and I had you stretched across the table. I spanked you hard with a belt six times. That was the last straw for you," Christian says quietly. Oh no.
"The scary thing is that I was absolutely turned on by it. Inflicting physical pain on women…I always got turned on by that. But the fact that I was turned on in the dream and you were – utterly disgusted with me. I never…ever want to see the look on your face that I saw in my dream. My world would surely end, Ana."
Holy cow. And I want to take him in my arms and hold on to him tight. The look of torment in his eyes as he relives this moment in his dream absolutely pierces my soul.
….
While in bed in the moonlit master bedroom, Christian lies on top of me. I am in one of his t-shirts and my panties, while he dons just his pj pants. After we kiss softly, he looks down at me.
"Thank you for telling me about the playroom," I murmur. He sighs.
"Ana, I'm not used to this. I've never been commissioned to reveal everything that's on my heart. But since you own my heart, I guess revealing it now comes with the territory," he smirks down at me. I gaze up longingly at him.
"And you own my heart, Christian. I never want there to be any secrets between us," I breathe.
"Right back at cha, Miss Steele," he says sweetly.
He lowers his head back down and kisses me softly once more. Suddenly, it's as if a something ignites us both within. The sweet, tender kiss grows into something…more.
Our breathing becomes shallower as we explore each other's mouths with our tongues. One of his hands grips and massages my hair, while the other travels up and down the sliver of bare skin along my side between my panties and the hiked up t-shirt.
Momentarily, our lips smack apart and we both exhale loudly. Christian looks down at me with wanton intent. I look up at him with desire and longing. His lips find their way down to my throat and I throw my head back in pleasure. I moan.
As he kisses my neck, he places a hand on my knee and slowly moves it up my thigh. He kisses me along my clavicle as his hand reaches my panties. I moan again. He stops his kissing and gazes into my eyes – and all I see is his love and devotion. It pierces the very heart of me and it takes everything in me not to break down in his sight.
Soon, he slides all the way down in the bed. I suddenly feel my panties slide off. I gasp in sheer anticipation. I know what's next. In no time flat, his tongue begins to wreck havoc on my sex.
"Ah!" I cry out. And with each pant and groan, his ministrations intensify. It charges up every single nerve ending in my body. His tongue is like a great conductor. Each part of my body is an instrument in tune with his excellent direction. I know that the crescendo of the piece is soon coming. Just before he takes me there, he stops. What?
For a few beats, I hear nothing but my own heavy breathing. Why did he stop? I don't even feel him present down below anymore. He is stock-still. And just before the charge inside my body dissipates, Christian slides all the way back up my body. We are now eye to eye. He then spreads my thighs further apart and holds them steady with each hand. And it's in that moment that I realize that his pj pants are no longer on. Slowly, he slides into me.
"Oh!" I moan. His mouth takes my throat and he starts to move at a languorous pace. And in no time flat, I shatter around him, crying out my orgasm. He doesn't stop moving at his agonizing slow and tender pace. It takes me a while to come back down, but once I do, I quickly build back up again.
"Oh, Ana. Come for me again," he breathes. And I crash, crying out my orgasm for the second time in just minutes. But he doesn't stop moving slowly in me. My word, what is he doing to me? He brushes tender kisses all over my neck.
"One more time, baby," he breathes against my skin. Holy fuck! I am still coming down from my second orgasm. He still doesn't break his smooth, slow rhythm. His pace is calculated and controlled. He's the master of my body. I crash all the way down before building back up yet again. He stops moving to pull off the t-shirt from over my head. Once more, he resumes his same slow, sweet pace – not missing a beat. His lips wrap around one of my erect nipples and he hums gently. Oh my. And I am building once more.
"Ah!" I cry out – as I shatter for a third time. I suddenly feel him stilling in me as he exhales his orgasm.
….
Late Saturday afternoon while Christian is busy in his study, I check on the salmon steaks in the broiler before mixing the seared scallops in with the sautéed mixed vegies in a pan over the burner. I toss a little bit of cooking wine into the mix for a little more flavor before giving it another stir.
Off to the side, I have two layers of chocolate cake cooling on a rack. I'd just whipped up the cream cheese icing and it is ready to go as soon as I am done with these scallops. The salad is currently chilling in the fridge.
Over in the dining room, I have two intimate place settings across from one another along with a wonderful floral arrangement and two unlit tapers. Underneath this oversized apron, I am wearing a pretty black dress with short sleeves. I decided against wearing heels because I am able to move around more fluidly in the kitchen wearing my house slippers.
"Miss Steele…what's going on in here?"
I look up and Christian enters the kitchen looking quite sexy in a gray t-shirt and blue jeans. He appears to be highly amused at the lengths I am going through for Saturday night dinner.
"Mr. Grey, you certainly have a very short memory," I tease him as I pull the scallops off the stove to keep them from cooking any further. When I am done, I look at him and he appears perplexed.
"Christian, what's today?" I ask him with a taunting grin. He looks up as if he is hoping that the answer comes crashing down.
"Um…Saturday," he says, looking back to me.
"Saturday the what?" I prompt.
"December…." and then he winces mid-thought. Suddenly, a grin slowly forms on his gorgeous lips.
"Our original wedding date," he guesses correctly. I beam in response.
"Yep. We would already be Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey by now had we decided against taking the twelve-week journey with Dr. Flynn," I say. He tightens his lips as he approaches me.
"Yes, we would. But I am glad that you encouraged us to do this. I feel closer to you now more than ever," he says sweetly. My heart leaps. I place my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my waist. He gives my lips a soft quick peck.
"I'm learning a great deal about myself too, Christian. I needed this. I'm learning that I have to be more attentive to your needs as well," I say softly. He grins down at me.
"We're both learning – together," he says before quickly kissing my lips once more. We soon release one another and I set to pull the salmon steaks out of the broiler.
"Everything smells delicious," Christian says as he places a spatula full of the scallop stir-fry in his mouth. I playfully slap his hand.
"Not yet. Dinner will be ready shortly," I say. He smirks.
"Well since you took the time to dress for the occasion Miss Steele, so will I," Christian says. He kisses my cheek and he heads out, giving me the time needed to add the finishing touches to dinner.
That night in bed, we kiss tenderly – both sated from our passionate lovemaking. I will never get enough of this man. He manages to make every time feel as sweet as the first. I just love how he loves me.
"Thank you for the wonderful original wedding date surprise, Bunny," Christian murmurs in my ear. I moan.
"It was my pleasure, Mr. Grey. Thank you for your patience. April 7th is on pace to become the best day of our lives," I whisper. He gives me a breathtaking, heart-stopping gaze. Oh my.
"Every day that I'm with you is the best day of my life, Miss Steele," Christian answers. And I pull his head down to mine in order to bring our lips as one once more.
….
"Our past is meant to provide a learning experience for us. But sometimes, our past can become a hindrance. We don't like to dwell on the past, but sometimes, we might want to bring old things to the surface in order to ensure their proper burial. Our past doesn't define who we are. That's why we must never use our past as a crutch when we so happen to mistreat our spouse."
Dr. Flynn is in full gear in week three of twelve. This will be Christian and my final session with him for the year before we break for the holidays.
"Ana, in the worksheet that you completed earlier, you talked about having a fear of marriage in the past. Let's talk about that," Flynn says, cutting through the chase. And now the worm is out of the can. Christian quickly turns his head and looks at me, perplexed. I sigh.
"I never really thought of marriage when I got older. I guess never being in love until I met Christian had plenty to do with that," I chuckle. Flynn and Christian continue gazing at me intently. Oh boy, I feel like I'm in a freak show.
"Would you say that you had a negative connotation about marriage given the example you had at home?" Dr. Flynn offers. Carla? Holy shit. Flynn had to bring my mother into this.
Suddenly, a myriad of memories begin to flood my brain. The trauma I felt when my mother and Ray split. Then husband number three, who I never got along with. We never talk about him. I instantly feel a pang in my chest and I shut my eyes. Christian slides over on the sofa and hugs me tightly. I throw my face into my hands to shield the oncoming tears.
"Ana, it's okay. Tell us…what's on your mind?" Dr. Flynn says kindly. I softly begin to weep and Christian holds me even tighter. This is such an awful feeling. I am more than willing to burn this past until it is no more. I must air this out.
I slowly remove my warm face from my hands. Christian immediately places one of his monogramed handkerchiefs in them. I gently begin to daub my face. I look at Dr. Flynn.
"I'm afraid to fail. I don't want us to fail," I sob quietly.
"Baby, we won't," Christian comfortingly murmurs by my ear.
"Ana, that is a valid fear considering what you've witnessed as a young girl. We can even stretch that fear into many facets in your life, right? You want to be the very best in every endeavor," Flynn submits. Holy shit. That's it. I'm a perfectionist. Whoa – I…I never saw myself in that way.
I nod slowly at Flynn in response.
"Ana, this isn't a race. You're not competing for your best time. There are going to be some stumbles along the way. You have to take the good with the bad. You are going to be in a marriage with two completely different personalities. Those personalities will occasionally clash. The key to weathering the storms is communication and compromise. If you have those two, you can get through any situation," Dr. Flynn grins at me.
I start to feel reassured. And the doctor's words concerning learning from your past start to ring loudly. When Mom and Ray's marriage begin to crumble, it's because the two of them started to keep to themselves. There wasn't a whole lot of communication going on between the two of them.
I think ahead to now with Christian being more open with me. And the thought brings sheer warmth to my heart. As long as we remain on that path and I am equally as open with him as he is trying to be with me, then we will be fine.
"So, as we take a break from these sessions until the New Year, continue to be open with one another. Communication, communication, communication. I can't stress it enough. Also, your homework until we meet again, please come prepared to discuss your plans when it comes to having children," Flynn says. Everything comes to a halt.
Oh shit.
I turn to look at Christian and his head drops.
"Well then…I take it that I just hit another hot button issue," Flynn says, scanning the two of us. Christian sighs and my head immediately falls. From one difficult discussion to another – Flynn just keeps it coming.
"I can't let you two leave without at least hearing the crux of the issue. Ana, what gives?" Flynn immediately throws the baton over to me. Why me? Why not Grey! He was the one who went full-asshole when we thought I could be pregnant!
"I don't know if Christian even wants to have children," I reluctantly say in a quiet voice. And those very words cut me on the way out of my mouth.
I may not want children right now, but I do aspire to have them eventually. I mean…it was very sweet of Christian to try and make up for the way that he behaved by getting me Sparky, but still. It doesn't take away from the fact that Christian still behaved badly when it was thought that I could be with child. What if I get pregnant for real next time? Then what? Yep – we still have issues, Grey.
"Christian, is that true?" Dr. Flynn turns to Grey.
"John…I mean we are both still young. Ana has aspirations to make it in the world of publishing. I mean…eventually we might have a child," Christian says as if he's exasperated.
Eventually? A child? As in one? Nope – I want at least two. I was an only child and I wouldn't wish that on any child of mine. No way, no how.
"Ana, you apparently don't see eye to eye with Christian. This is a very important issue that needs to be discussed and agreed upon before you two walk the aisle. Tell me, what makes you think that Christian doesn't want to have any children?" Flynn asks me.
I really don't feel like going back there right now. That was a very shitty time for me and I don't care to relive it. However, Flynn looks at me in expectation. He's not going to let this one go.
"Well, I had a pregnancy scare two months ago, and Christian was…less than pleased over it," I murmur under my breath.
"Oh?" Dr. Flynn says with raised brows. He looks at Christian with a critical eye.
"John – of course I didn't want to knock Ana up before we got married! I mean, my God! It's not a very gentlemanly thing to do!" Christian snaps.
"But Christian, I take it that it goes much more deeper than that. You and I have had past discussions in our sessions alone. I would implore you to have the same talk with Ana while we break from these sessions. I think it's very important for her to understand your reluctance concerning having children and to talk it through. I expect a resolution when the two of you return after the New Year," Flynn grins warmly.
So Flynn's just going to light the damn bomb and then run away while it explodes on the two of us? How nice of him. My head instantly falls.
I feel like we should talk about this right here, right now. This isn't like the playroom discussion. It's more critical than that. Christian doesn't want kids! Because of the sensitivity of this particular disagreement, I believe that this discussion could lead to an all-out blowup if left to our own devices. Dr. Flynn can properly steer this discussion in the way that it should go. He's the perfect mediator.
"Ana…" Flynn starts. The beeping of his nearby intercom halts him midway.
"Dr. Flynn – sincerest apologizes for interrupting your session, but we have a quick urgent matter up front in need of your immediate attention," the woman says over the speaker.
"Very well," Flynn sighs. He quickly stands.
"I should only be a moment if you two don't mind waiting for me. Then we'll properly end our session," the doctor says apologetically.
"Sure, John," Christian nods in understanding. I nod as well.
Dr. Flynn quickly exits the room and the door closes behind him. Oh boy. This is…awkward.
"Ana…" Christian starts with a sigh. I turn to look at my fiancé and he looks what…torn?
Oh no! Have I finally found the one thing that Christian absolutely will not do? As in: 'He will do anything for love, but he won't do…'? Is having a child for Christian 'that'? My heart is filled with dread at the thought. I. Want. Children.
But before addressing that elephant in the room, the incident from two months ago returns clearly in my mind. Since Christian has been so open and honest with me these past few weeks, I decide to return the favor.
"Christian – when I missed my period and we thought I could be pregnant, I felt so…alone. You instantly turned away from me. I don't ever want to feel like that again," I say quietly.
"Baby…" Christian turns all the way in my direction and grabs both of my hands.
"…I am so sorry for treating you that way. I don't ever want you to feel deserted and alone when you're with me," he says from the bottom of his heart. My head drops from his gaze. He sighs as if he's dreading what he's going to say next.
"Ana, you know that I was neglected as a very small child. I don't know if shitty parenting is hereditary, and I'm afraid to find out," Christian pours out. Oh no! And then thoughts about his drug addicted, prostitute birth mom begins to surface. No! I look back up at him.
"Christian, you said it yourself – we make the perfect team. You told me that I made you a better CEO when I worked at GEH. Well Christian, in this marriage, we will be an even stronger team. Don't think for one second that I won't be there to help you be a good husband and later on, a good father," I assert. And at my words, he squeezes my hands tightly.
"I have no doubt that you will. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Ana. If you want a child, we will have one. You're an excellent mom to Sparky, so I can only image how wonderful of a mother you will be to our child when we have one," Christian says sweetly.
I light up at his praise, but there is still an issue that remains. 'Child'…he keeps saying 'child' and not 'children'. Maybe I should resolve to take this one step at a time. We have to walk before we run, right? At least I have Christian open to the idea of a child now. We simply have to continue working out his reservations – One step at a time.
I look at him with eyes radiating love and understanding. He leans in to me and we tightly embrace. After a few beats, we each steal a kiss. Suddenly, Dr. Flynn barges in. We rapidly pull apart and guiltily grin at the amused doctor.
"Well, I take it that you didn't need my help to discuss the issue after all," Flynn chuckles.
I guess Christian and I are well capable of mediating ourselves after all. I hug myself on the inside.
Yay us!
….
Christian and I ride in the back of the Audi SUV as Taylor drives us home from our session.
"Well, this marriage business appears to be much harder than I originally thought. All I thought we needed to do was just be in love and get married. I didn't know that it took all of this other…stuff," Christian smirks. I giggle, but I can't help but to think that Christian could be having second thoughts. I shudder at the thought.
"Are you having doubts about doing this, Mr. Grey?" I playfully tease. However, my words are serious.
"Never, Miss Steele. I would swim across the broadest ocean for you, so twelve weeks of premarital counseling is absolutely nothing to me. I'm in this for keeps," he says, unwavering. Oh my. I turn my entire body in his direction.
"Ditto, Mr. Grey," I say with a sincere grin. As we meet each other in the middle for a kiss, I catch Taylor grinning in the rearview mirror.
….
It's Wednesday morning. I sit at my desk, which is adjacent from Liza's now vacant desk.
Liza and her husband had a baby girl over the weekend. I took the picture of the newborn that Liza emailed me and I made an impromptu birth announcement, which is now taped over her computer monitor. It's a perfect opportunity for team members to stop by and gush over the newest member of the ECP family.
Two days from now, ECP will be having our company Christmas party, marking our final workday of the year. GEH is having their holiday party tomorrow night, which I will be accompanying Christian to. However, ECP did not have the budget to extend the invite to spouses and significant others. I was utterly bummed out when I got the news that I couldn't bring my fiancé to our Christmas party. Oh well, at least our party will be during working hours.
As I plug away on work emails, Jeremy exits his office.
"Ana, can I see you in here for a moment?" he asks. I look at up him. He looks, whoa…upset? And I instantly hope that it wasn't me that brought on his change of mood from earlier.
"Sure," I say, rising to my feet. After I enter his office, he shuts the door behind me. Jeremy then gestures me to take a seat, so I do. I look up at him in anticipation as he sits behind his desk. I soon assume the very worse. I hope I'm not getting laid off.
"Ana, I hope I'm not stepping over the line in having this talk with you," he says nervously. My heart drops. What in the hell's going on? I gape at him.
"Katie's pretty upset at me right now. We had a little…spat last night. Ana – I really like Katie and I want us to be together," he spits out.
Whoa. And I idly wonder what happened between the two of them last night to cause a falling out. I'm surprised KB hasn't reached out to me first.
"Wha…what happened?" I ask him, stuttering in shock.
"Well, I…how do I say this?" he says reluctantly. I wait patiently for him to gather his words.
"We got into this lighthearted discussion last night about how all of us first met during speed dating. I told her that I didn't exactly remember how our five minutes together went because it all happened so fast. I did tell her that I remembered you and that you and I went out the next day," Jeremy says. Which Katie already knew about, so no big deal there.
"Anyway, she later asked me if I had a crush on you. So I told her, 'Yeah, I did,'" he shrugs off. I narrow my eyes at him. This is so awkward.
"She took it to mean that I still did. Katie never gave me the opportunity to explain myself. Yes, I had crush on you. Now, you're very taken and you work for us. I then was reintroduced to Katie, and I soon connected with her on a deeper level. I thought all was well with us, but apparently she doesn't think so. Katie's not taking any of my calls or answering any of my texts," he says in dismay.
And I instantly wonder why in the fuck would Jeremy tell his girlfriend that he used to have a crush on her good friend. Jeremy definitely didn't put me in the best of lights when he pulled me into his bullshit. And to top it off, Katie recently got out of a longtime relationship where the asshole cheated on her. So that's obviously still fresh in her mind.
Jeremy is a dumbass. He didn't do either of us any favors.
A/N: Next chapter, we celebrate the holidays with our favorite couple.
But first, Christian mistakenly finds a steamy note from Ana's boss and crashes the ECP holiday party in a major way. Boy, oh boy!
Please review chapter 37. Thanks for reading and Happy 4th to my fellow Americans! – ST2