Phase-37: Turmoil
"Helldarts! Fire!" Murrue yelled as another Orb ship was destroyed near the Archangel. The light anti-air shells from the bridge tower detonated a number of missiles heading to the coast but still many hit. Asagi escaped from a Strike Dagger. However with her rifle she was at a disadvantage in this close combat against a beam saber wielding enemy. He closed in and was about to kill her but she was saved by Mayura. Juri stabbed another attacker. Everyone was working hard, doing their best, fighting for their lives, for their country, yet they were still being overwhelmed by the Earth Forces' sheer numbers. Orb's secondary defense line had been broken. The control room had lost communication with the 6th Technical Company. Although that advance was very dearly paid. The three original GAT models, the Strike, Blast and Buster fought most viciously, and claimed a high toll on the EA forces.
Kira and Seren stared, shocked, at the red unit that had just come to their aid. Clotho, angry at the newcomer who had spoiled his fun, charged. Shani didn't mind the arrival of that other funny-looking MS though. Apparently content to have a new 'playmate', he attacked too.
"This is ZAFT Special Forces agent... Athrun Zala. Can you hear me, Freedom and Independence? Kira Yamato and Seren Ledford I presume..." The pilot of the red MS introduced himself. Kira and Seren were still unable to answer. Athrun had come... he had come but... for what reason?! To talk, or...? He dodged and blocked the Raider's shots, took out his double-bladed beam saber and slashed. The X370 paried with its right arm mounted shield.
"What's the big idea?!" Kira gripped a beam saber too and attacked the Forbidden that got away. "Is ZAFT going to stick its nose in this battle!? What are you planning!?"
Seren's mind was racing franctically. That was right! Athrun was a ZAFT soldier! He had introduced himself as such! And he was even part of the Special Forces! This was a battle between Orb and the Earth Alliance! And Orb had stressed its refusal to accept ZAFT's help in this conflict! Had ZAFT still decided to interfere? Why? And the Special Forces only obeyed the Chairman... She and Kira had 'stolen' two ZAFT units they were currently piloting equipped with N-jammer cancellers... there should have been orders to prevent that technology from falling into the Naturals' hands at any costs...
"I have no specific orders regarding this battle! This intervention... is my decision alone!" Athrun replied as the Forbidden fired at the Freedom a beam that curved. So he had, on his own, decided to help them... for now...
"But as a member of the Special Forces, you must have received orders to take back or destroy the Freedom and Independence and kill their pilots and all affiliated people!" Seren argued, firing at the Raider with her Alcor beam cannons, keeping it away from her childhood friends. It turned back into a MS and launched its spherical breaker that the girl dodged before lunging at him, beam saber in hand. Buer blocked it... and barely got away when she suddenly took her other beam saber and slashed. He increased the distance.
"I did. But I have no intention to harm you, Kira, or your allies." The ZAFT elite answered as he went to her help. So he had come to talk... The two Orb pilots were so relieved. Kira fired at the X252 but naturally the beams were deflected by its shield system. He gritted his teeth while the enemy pilot scoffed.
"Beams don't work against that guy! Use your rail cannons!" Seren advised Kira as she fired at the Forbidden with her own Vega rail cannons, damaging its backpack. On the ground, Orga noticed there was an extra weird enemy unit and shot in the middle of the crowd. Luckily it missed but his allies were angry at him. Shooting blindly like that... he could have hit them!
Mu, Dearka, and the Orb forces had also noticed the new comer and were unsure about him. Was it another Earth Forces machine?! No! It was backing the Freedom and Independence! And thanks to that unit's support, the Independence had had enough leeway to destroy two more enemy ships with its Apus plasma beam cannons. But now, the third EA gundam had decided to join the fray since it seemed more interesting than simply and randomly wreaking havoc. It landed on an Orb vessel and destroyed its bridge before shooting the three in the sky. They avoided. Once more, Clotho accused him of being in the way. From the smoke and flames, Orga yelled at him to shut up. He didn't look angry but exalted. He fired again. The beam was deflected by the Forbidden in hope to get the Justice but it nearly hit the Raider whose pilot shouted at Shani this time. Athrun shot at the GAT-X252 with the Cervus machine gun turrets on his Fatum-00 but the projectiles were blocked. The Freedom used its Xiphias rail cannons and the impact knocked the green machine over, and just as it recovered, the Justice kicked it down.
Meantime, Seren had been engaged by the Raider. She sliced its spherical breaker with her beam saber and charged while shooting with her rifle. It turned into a MA; barely avoiding her. She used her Alcor beam cannons. However, she had come close to the Calamity and became its target. She changed strategy and lunged at the X131, avoiding the shots. It was standing on an Orb ship so she had to be careful, bring things to close combat, or be extra precise... She aimed her beams at the legs, forcing the adversary and jump and hover. She had closed in! Ledford launched her Aquila backpack at it, blinding it by firing its Corvus machine guns. The Aquila suddenly disappeared from view and the Calamity was kicked down from behind into the sea.
"20 to port! We'll crush the fleet on our left!" Captain Ramius ordered. The Archangel had regularly received help from the Blast that had also sunk a few ships. On the ground, La Flaga had switched to the anti-ship sword and was forming a good combination with Dearka. Juri, Asagi, and Mayura had also gotten better.
Muruta Azrael complained that they still hadn't taken over the enemy headquarters. It was strange. The ship captain implicated the new machines the director was so proud of. They didn't seem to fulfil the job he had expected them to. The Blue Cosmos leader glared.
The Freedom, Justice, and Independence were displaying magnificent teamwork, covering for each other, confusing their foes, containing them... the very opposite of the EA units that were perfectly fine firing at each other. Was it because they trusted each other, like Seren and Kira in the Lybia desert? It seemed more like they didn't care whether their allies lived or died, or worst, they were like dogs with rabies fighting over bones and blaming each other for being in the way. However, their quarrel was interrupted when pain shot through their bodies, as if some madman was trifling with their nervous system. To be able to perform at the same level as Coordinators, micro-implants had been placed in their brains and glands, and they were given regular doses of the performance-enhancing drug Gamma Glipheptin in addition to being mentally conditioned to eliminate their sense of fear and increase aggression in combat. However, this drug had significant downsides. Its duration was very brief, negatively affected the pilots' mental stability and caused severe incapacitating withdrawal symptoms as well as addiction. The three Earth Forces machines quickly withdrew back to their flagship, much to everyone's surprise, even Azrael's. They should still have energy left, why retreat so suddenly? The blonde Blue Cosmos leader cursed. They were useless. The captain demanded an explanation. The three Clotho, Orga and Shani barely managed to get out of their machines and fall on their knees on the causeways, swearing profusely, grunting in pain as the physicians were merely observing them and writing things.
"That's all, folks. We're taking a break, captain." The Atlantic Federation's 'negociator' stood up and waved coolly and dismissively despite the rage and frustration boiling inside him. "Temporary retreat. Recall all forces." He ordered. The officer protested. "We're not gonna get much farther with the Strike Daggers and Star Blasters alone. We don't have much of those Star Blasters left anyway. That just means Orb's hidden strengths are much greater than we predicted. If we try fighting without the new machines, we'll be finished." Azrael developed. They had hoped to conquer that puny country in one go but they had underestimated it. Also, the unexpected presence of those three machines had proved especially problematic. They fired the retreat signal, to Orb's relief.
But it was not over for Athrun, Kira and Seren. They all looked grave even as they lowered their weapons but the former EA pilots also had very wary expressions. They thanked the ZAFT soldier for his support but they'd like once again to confirm his true intentions. Athrun closed his eyes and once more memories flooded his mind... Nicol's death at Kira's hands, Seren's tears and faith, his father's extreme coldness and rejection, and Lacus's unchanged warm smile... He opened his cockpit and his seat rose outside, showing his faith and sincerity.
"As I have told you, I have orders from the Headquarters to either recapture or destroy those machines, the Freedom and the Independence. But right now, I have no intentions of fighting you or your allies. I want to talk... with you."
The sun was setting. The first day of fighting was over. It was only one day, and Orb had already been so deeply wounded. Tents had been hastily brought up and the battlefield was bustling with medics and soldiers trying to save those who could still be saved. Any delay in the rescues and the cost in lives would only increase. The mechanics also hurried the repairs and resupplying of the machines. Many men had been caught by falling debris. And many would not be saved. Most pilots would come out of their gundam and simply collapse when reaching the ground. They loosened their suits slightly, finally able to breathe a little. Dearka opened the Buster's cockpit and stared at the returning Archangel. Cagalli, accompanied by Kisaka, was making a tour and congratulated the people. They had done well, fighting and surviving.
The Freedom, Justice and Independence landed, facing each other in a three-way deadlock. Their pilots came down. Cagalli, Kisaka, Rayner, Mu, Dearka, the three Orb test pilots and the Archangel crewmembers stationned at the bridge came to watch. The captain stopped the teens' friends. Dearka was shocked. Everyone else was worried. Kira and Seren stared at Athrun who fixed them back. He felt Chacha move in his clothes and escape his pilot suit. The squirrel flew over to Seren and perched on her shoulder. She petted it with a very tender expression and it climbed on her collar and touched her cheek. The three took a step and marched on. The Orb soldiers aimed at the ZAFT Red Coat. He looked at them but did nothing.
"Don't shoot!" Seren ordered.
"He's not an enemy!" Kira added. Familiar scenes were playing in their minds... their 'reunion' at Heliopolis, the longing for each other in Orb when Athrun had returned Torii and Chacha, the hatred and sorrow when Kira had killed Nicol, when Athrun had killed Tolle, when those two had fought to the death... Athrun remembered the tears in Seren's eyes on that deserted island, and after they thought he had killed Kira... he remembered how she had aimed a gun at him both times... and the attraction between them, when they had almost kissed, and when she had still embraced him despite his having killed Kira... He also recalled Lacus and her smile when he had threatened to kill her and her advice... They stopped. Torii flew over too and Kira smiled as it landed on his shoulder. He gazed at them.
"Hi, Athrun." They greeted him with an awkward smile. Athrun curled his fists and whispered their name with contained feelings.
"Why do you fight? I want you to tell me." The ZAFT soldier surprised them. But Kira barely said a word that Seren hit them them on the head right as Cagalli was going to intervene and she pulled them to her, her arms around their shoulders. She might not have shown it, but she had probably been the most anxious... and so she had snapped first.
"Glum difficult stuff should be saved for later. We finally reunited. Since we don't know what will happen, we should earnestly and fully rejoice while we still can! At least for a time, can't we go back to how it was before? Isn't it what you truly want too?" She scolded them with a pleading tone. And still, happiness overflowed from her expression. Even if it was for a moment, they were together, she was holding them. They smiled slightly and hugged her back.
"Sorry for always troubling you." They apologized before smiling at each other.
"See? You can count on Seren to beat some sense into them and shape them up... literally." Rayner reassured Cagalli.
The Archangel returned to the facility for repairs and maintenance, and so did all movable gundams. The three Coordinator friends were sitting on a box at the foot of the Justice. The two former EA pilots, dressed in their EA uniforms (Chacha curled in a ball on Seren's lap), told their ex-enemy what they were planning to do from now on.
"But that's..." Athrun trailed off embarassedly. He clearly thought they were chasing a foolish dream for children without daring to say it outloud.
"Yes, we're aware of the difficulties." Kira admitted as Cagalli happily brought them drinks. She had recovered her cheerfulness now that this trio was reconciling. Rayner was with her. Sai, Mu, and Murrue were listening too a bit further away. And so were Miriallia and Dearka. "But I believe it can't be helped. I believe that what Uzumi-sama and Tobias-sama said is right. Should Orb side with the Earth Forces, the Atlantic Federation will use that power to attack the PLANTs. And it's the same thing if Orb decides to side with ZAFT. The only thing that differs is the enemy. But that won't help things one bit. We're sick of it. We can no longer live with that."
"Well, that had been my goal all along, although until now, it had been no more than a faraway dream. But now, we finally found a path, we found the strength to walk it, and we have been given the swords to cut it open. If it's us wielding those swords, we might be able to save more lives than if it was someone else. People we couldn't save before, we might be able to save them now. That's why..." Seren added softly. Athrun tried to protest again. Uzumi and Tobias were in a gyroheli, flying over the civilian areas and inspecting the damage done to their country. While in the sea, Le Creuset was watching the Earth Forces fleet from a submarine. Flay was also there, in a room, dressed in a ZAFT green uniform so she'd be less conspicuous.
"I killed a comrade... a friend of yours." Kira interrupted. Seren recalled how Athrun had cried for Nicol's death when he had told her about him. It was his death that had driven him to try killing even Kira. "But I never knew him. And it's not as if I wanted to kill him. You killed Tolle." He continued. Milly and Dearka gasped. The communication operator looked down, trying to control her feelings while Elsman gazed worriedly at her. The pilot of the Justice remembered the increase in viciousness in Kira's attacks after he had destroyed the fighting plane. And Seren had cried so much for him too. And it was also partly for that person that she had aimed that loaded gun at him. "But you never knew Tolle. And it's not like you wanted to kill him, was it?" He turned to Zala who looked down and bit his lip with a pained expression.
"I... tried to kill you." He spoke as if the words hurt him. He had... wanted to kill Kira.
"Same here." The brown-haired boy surprised his male friend.
"And so did I, right?" Their female friend added. In that seaplane, believing he had killed both Kira and Tolle she cherished so much, overcome by rage, grief and despair, she had truly wanted to kill Athrun too, and she had been this close to doing it.
"It would be great if we lived in a world where we didn't have to fight." Kira commented.
"But the war keeps spreading. Both sides have started using superweapons. Each battle turns into a genocide. This has become a war of complete extermination. ZAFT even lifted the self-imposed ban on nuclear energy. At this rate, PLANTs and Earth will really destroy each other..." Seren mused. Her words reminded Athrun of his father's words... "Now we need it, in order to win this war! We need that energy!" He had looked so collected, cold-blooded... but those were the actions of the desperate that were losing themselves! Seren was right... "We've decided to fight to stop that. That's why we returned. Besides, even if it was to protect... we have already pulled the trigger. We must take responsibility. So... are we going to fight each other again?" The girl smiled. But it was one of those heart-rending smiles.
"Seren..." Athrun whispered with a pained expression as he realized the extent of her determination... and her feelings. Because she had something to do, she would fight him. If she had to, she would kill him. She had that resolution, even if it meant she had to sacrifice half of herself, because he meant that much to her. "If you say that he was your enemy then so I am! There's still one bullet left. Go ahead, shoot! Kill me! Since I am your enemy! Shoot, since that's what you said you'd do, since that's what you must do!" But he had been unable to kill her. "Now, if you've declared me an enemy, will you shoot me? Athrun Zala of ZAFT?" And he had been unable to kill Lacus too. Even if his duty as a ZAFT soldier commanded him to. Seren was the woman he loved. And he knew she loved him back. To fight her, to kill her... would be the same as killing himself. And Lacus was a dear friend. Were they truly his enemies? They couldn't be. He looked at Kira. He was the same, a precious friend, and he wore the same expression of sad determination as Seren. "Kira..." He looked down. What should he do? As a soldier, he was to shoot the enemy. Who was the enemy? Was it Kira, Seren and Lacus, as well as Orb and the Earth Alliance, as his father had decreted? He didn't want that. Were Kira and Seren right? Was their path viable? Could they really stop the war this way?
"I should get back to my duties." Kira informed and started leaving. "We never know when they might attack us again."
"I have one question!" Chairman Zala's son stood up too. "The Freedom is equipped with a Neutron Jammer Canceller. What will you do with that data?"
"If anyone tries to use that data or take it from me, I'll shoot them myself." The EA pilot reassured him. And so did the former operator of the Blast. Kira walked away. Miriallia burst out in tears and tried to leave. Dearka stopped her.
"What do you want?" She snapped.
"Ah... uh... well..." He approached, scratching the back of his head uneasily. "He's the one who killed that guy... Tolle."
"So what?! Weren't you listening to what Kira and Seren were saying?!" She snarled.
"Ah, well..." Elsman stuttered. As a proud elite Coordinator, he had always behaved arrogantly, and dismissed others with disdain and humor. And his status as war prisoner hadn't changed his nature and attitude. But he had been saved by a person who should have killed him, and tried to kill him. He had seen strength and kindness in a girl that should have been his enemy. Even tough he wanted to comfort her, before her tears he became helpless and humble and never seemed to be able to find the right words.
"Will killing him bring Tolle back?! It won't, will it? So don't even talk about it!" Milly ran away, Dearka still chasing after her. Athrun looked back at them. He sat back down at Seren's side and scratched his head in confusion and frustration. "Your friend, trying to protect you, was going to kill him, so Kira killed him first, Tolle too, a civilian thrown into this war just because he had seen something he shouldn't, he loved his girlfriend and he was just trying to protect us, Coordinators, despite being a Natural!" And now Dearka, who had always showed such hostility and contempt for Naturals, was so concerned about that girlfriend.
"Seren, you said you didn't want to remain an actor in the script someone else made forever, the script that said the Earth and PLANTs must keep fighting, that makes us keep fighting... you finally returned to Orb as you wished and you've also found your path. But do you really think you can change the script like this, with so little people and power on your side?"
"I don't know. But at least I must try. If everybody gives up from the start saying it can't be helped then it's sure that nothing will ever change and we'd end up doing even less. But if we changed, and managed something, then other might change too and it'd be like a snowball turning into an avalanche. At least, peace can't be achieved by fighting puppets who gave up their thinking process. We must not let ourselves be blinded by resentment to the point we become part of the problem. Understanding and compassion are the only truly revolutionary notions. By denying them, we become what we despise, and we lose our humanity. That's what I learned. And that's why I can't lay my weapons down now, as long as there is war, as long as I have something to protect. The Archangel left the Earth Alliance and is now with Orb. All members decided for themselves what they wanted to do, just like Kira and me. Now we're just individuals who decided to fight for our principles, our beliefs, for a future we don't want to regret, for a world in which we won't be forced to choose a side and condemn part of our loved ones to save others. You're from ZAFT and you're Chairman Zala's son. As your father and hierarchical superior he may command you. And as son and soldier you may have to obey, but your life and soul are yours alone. Now it's your turn. What do you want to do? What do you want to protect? What kind of future do you wish for? Listen well, and choose. It's all right here." Seren touched his chest, right above his heart. She thanked him for having returned Chacha to her and excused herself. She had some maintenance to do on the Independence.
In the Earth Alliance fleet flagship, Azrael asked how much longer it would take until they were ready to attack again. Orb had repeatedly sent requests to talk things over but it was far too late. If they could not conquer this nation with all this battle power, it would be in their best interest to have it disappear. The captain said they were almost ready. If anything the problem was more on the director's side.
"Well, well, excuse me. Why don't we get started again? I think they've been punished enough. They must properly do their work. If we don't see some improvement, this wouldn't be a demonstration." The Blue Cosmos leader commented while in the lounge the three pilots were writhing due to the excruciating pain caused by withdrawal symptoms of their enhancing drug.
In Orb, Athrun questioned Rayner's and Cagalli's presence so close to him. They were just standing guard. But surely he was relieved that Kira was still alive. Seren might have 'predicted' it but well... He agreed and thanked them for what they had done for him and Seren before. Cagalli thought Kira and Seren had changed, but for Athrun, they were the same as always.
"And so, what do you plan to do from now on?" Rayner asked.
"I don't know. I guess I'll do as Seren told me, though as she said I might already have the answer." The ZAFT soldier replied, thinking of his father.
"You know, if you're not careful, you're just going to become Seren's submissive husband." The blonde young man warned.
"I know." Athrun answered absentmindedly. But then he registered what Rayner had said. "Eh? Ah! No, I... hum..." He stammered, flustered.
"All girls are gems. The girls in the Ledford clan are particularly worthy, and our Seren is our most precious treasure... although it's only (very) recently that she started losing her rough edges and becoming more polished. In that regard, it's perfectly fine for her to make guys cry, but if a guy hurts her or makes her cry then he will have to face us, though of course it's a secret from her. You would do well to remember that." The heir of the Ledford family glared menacingly. Then he smiled very amiably. "If it's clear you should hurry and break your engagement with your fiancée if that hasn't been called off already so you can go out with her." He was smiling but he felt all the more threatening because of it. Cagalli whacked his head.
"Don't threaten him where Seren can see you. She'll chew you out. And don't you have something to do on the Blast?"
"I'll go if you come with me."
"Yes, yes." The princess pushed the silly prince away. She turned to Athrun and apologized. "I'm sorry about his behavior. Forgive him. The Ledfords are all very committed to their family and loved ones, so they can be a bit on the vindictive side." She euphemized. "Please take your time. I'll make sure that guy isn't on your back stressing you out."
Athrun looked at them for a time before staring at the Independence. What he wanted to do... What he must do...
The sun was rising. Andras, Buer and Shabnak took the phials the medical staff was handing them with trembling hand and drank them. Ten units of Gilpeptin had been added. They should be okay for at least two hours. If they didn't want to experience that pain again, they should do a better job this time. Clotho grateful accepted, turned meek and submissive. Orga cursed under his breath.
Kira was sleeping in the Freedom in his EA uniform. Athrun was sitting on stairs at the feet of the Justice, still deep in thought. He had barely slept. Seren came down from the Independence, having just woken up from her own nap. She gazed at Athrun for a time, and left. He had to decide on his own. And from a distance, Rayner and Cagalli were glancing at them. They couldn't help either. And Dearka was just as concerned. He too had fought for Orb and protected the Archangel.
Shani, Clotho and Orga swore to sink those three machines for sure this time. And the Calamity, Raider and Forbidden soared in the morning sky.
We know we can't advance by just fighting but we still can't do anything about this awkward way of life, so we keep struggling. We believe. We want to believe. What's the point in believing? What to believe in? Inside our tightly-clenched fists there is the answer that we've already chosen. We won't run away and we won't just look on. Challenging it, that alone will be fine. An uncertain future is something in which you have to clear open a path, right?
Author's note: just want to thank notepad and SurvivorTierEXO for their reviews ^^. Also since I finished writing episode 45, I only have three more left to write ^^ and 11 to read for you lol.