Pinball Wizard
"So why is this place a train station?" Harry asked.
"It symbolizes moving from one state of existence to another. What place better fits that for you than King's Cross Station where you embarked on becoming a wizard?" Dumbledore said.
"So in other words, you mucked about with it," Harry said with a sigh. He may have loved the old man like a grandfather, but that didn't blind him to the fact that Dumbledore tended to go overboard arranging things.
"It was a formless grey void when I got here," Dumbledore said, a bit miffed that Harry wasn't getting into the spirit of things.
"A formless grey void waiting for my imprint," Harry said. "It would have been formed out of my very soul, revealing things about myself that'd take decades of meditation to even get a glimpse of."
"Really?" Dumbledore asked in shock.
"Probably," Harry said with a shrug. "But unless there is a reset button around here, we'll never know."
A glowing reset button appeared in midair.
Harry stared at the button for a couple of minutes before Dumbledore nudged him.
"Give it a push and let's see," Dumbledore suggested sincerely. One of the reasons he was the wizard he was, was because of his boundless curiosity. For instance, he'd discovered twenty three uses for dragon's blood but only twelve of them were ones you could talk about in polite society.
Harry pushed the red button and everything but Harry, Dumbledore, and the mutated baby Voldy faded away into a featureless grey mist.
After a minute Dumbledore spoke up, "Oh yes, this is much better than a train station."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Form something already!"
The mist imploded, revealing the great hall in shades of black marble with all the tables filled with black statues of Harry Potter, with the exception of some glowing white ones at each house table.
Examining the white statues at the Griffindor table, Harry read aloud, "Heroic Harry: +3 Dex, +3 Str, +5 Chr, +12 mana pool; unlocked by sacrificing himself to save his friends. Regular Harry: no bonuses just standard H.P. to start. Marauder Harry: +4 Dex, +2 Int, +2 Chr, animagus form, +8 mana pool; unlocked by recovering the Marauder's Map and discovering the ID of all four Marauders and repeatedly flouting authority."
"Goth-Emo Harry," Dumbledore read from a card in front of one of the white statues at the Slytherin table. "-2 Chr, +4 Dex, +3 Int, +5 mana pool, access to parsel magic, snake familiar adviser; Unlocked by sitting around feeling sorry for yourself for long periods of time and intentionally cutting yourself."
Dumbledore paled while Harry tried to figure out how that applied to the life he'd just lived.
"I'm sorry-" Dumbledore began, but Harry waved him down.
"You made me stay at the Dursely's. They locked me in a room so I had nothing to do but feel sorry for myself," Harry explained. "And the cutting probably refers to Umbridge's cursed quill that cut my hand as I wrote lines."
"So you aren't an emotional wreck who sits in the dark and writes bad poetry?" Dumbledore asked hopefully.
"I don't write any poetry," Harry said, looking up and seeing the normal ceiling was devoid of its usual illusion of the sky and instead just had the words 'Game Over' like one of the games Dudley had let him play on his gaming system.
"I wonder what my score was," Harry said thoughtfully, before a list of positive and negative points rolled across the ceiling.
"Minus one hundred points for dying a virgin," Dumbledore read with a sigh.
"I wasn't exactly spoiled for choices," Harry defended himself.
Dumbledore created a couple of reclining chairs so they wouldn't get stiff necks as they read. "According to this, you had quite the list of possibles, and I know for a fact that Ginny would have done anything you asked, including other girls. She gets that from her mum."
"No one told me about any of that and I was a bit busy trying to deal with a dark lord!" Harry complained.
Dumbledore sighed and shook his head in disappointment. "Harry, Harry, Harry... You have to have your priorities in order if you want to get anywhere in life."
"My priorities were mainly: don't die, defeat dark lord, murder Snape, escape the Dursleys..." Harry rattled off.
"Wait, what?!"
"Escape the Dursleys," Harry repeated.
"Before that."
"Defeat the dark lord?" Harry asked innocently, a halo appearing over his head.
Dumbledore frowned and decided to ignore the whole thing as Harry's Halo flickered like a dying neon sign and went out. "When I said love was one of the greatest forces known to man, I wasn't speaking metaphorically. Love and everything involved with the creation of new life is tremendously powerful and just touching those forces can strengthen you immensely."
"I wouldn't know love if it bit me in the ass, and the life I've lived has alienated me completely from my peers. I don't have a clue how normal people date and build relationships. Any girl I date is probably going to dump me for being a clueless berk, unless she's a gold digger."
"Surely-" Dumbledore began, but Harry interrupted him.
"Can I get a highlights reel on my life with the Dursleys and some clips on Hogwarts and my social problems?"
Dumbledore watched, getting progressively paler as scene after scene was shown.
"I had no idea it was that bad," Dumbledore admitted.
Harry just shrugged.
"Well, that blows my plans all to hell," Dumbldore admitted. "I'd suggest we look for one of the lives that actually gives you a happy childhood, because if it takes this to end Voldemort, then it simply isn't worth it. Pick a life worth living and give it a go."
"I thought you knew about the Dursleys," Harry frowned in confusion.
"So did I," Dumbledore admitted. "But I thought they'd gotten worse when you became a wizard, not better."
"They had to treat me better because they assumed you had people watching them," Harry explained, "and you prevented any attempts I made to escape from them."
Dumbledore winced. "And my past self would likely do the same. Well, you have my permission to arrange a little accident for me if it becomes necessary. My willing permission will allow you to bypass any magic I may have used to prevent such a thing."
"How about Snape?" Harry asked hopefully.
"I doubt-" Dumbledore began, when a series of clips showed Snape's effect on Harry's life.
Dumbledore sighed. "Fine, you have my permission to... neutralize both of us. Is there anyone else under my protection you need to remove?"
"Nah, the two of you alone were responsible for the majority of my problems," Harry replied honestly, while Dumbledore flinched as if struck.
"I suppose we had better look to see if we can find a version of you that has a happier childhood."
"Like one raised by animals?" Harry asked hopefully, thinking of Tarzan.
Dumbledore sighed. "I suppose so."
"So... how does this work?" Harry asked.
"Well," Dumbledore admitted, "one of my secret vices is RPGs."
"Rocket-propelled grenades?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Role-playing games," Dumbledore explained. "Sometimes the magical world gets me down, so I play Dungeons and Dragons or something similar to relax."
"Ooh, like pretending you're Conan with paper and dice."
"My tenth level thief would slit Conan's throat before he even knew he was there!" Dumbledore exclaimed. He cleared his throat embarrassed by his outburst. "As I was saying, this looks a lot like some of the RPG computer games I've seen. I assume all you have to do is touch one and say select when you have found one you want."
Harry nodded and climbed out of his recliner. "Non-Dursley raised selections only, please."
All the statues went grey except for three.
"All Gryfindors have been raised by the Dursleys, I guess," Harry said with a sigh.
"Or all the options you have available at the moment have," Dumbledore pointed out.
"Does that mean I have to do this again in the future?" Harry asked.
"You're the Master of Death," Dumbledore pointed out, "I'm guessing that means you won't permanently die until you choose to. This is more than likely just the way your subconscious has chosen to allow you to access your powers."
"But if I change my past, then won't I prevent myself from becoming the Master of Death and gaining the power that allowed me to change my past?"
"Not at all," Dumbledore assured him. "If you have magic then causality is your bitch."
"Then what was up with all the rules about Time Turners you gave Hermione?"
"The last dozen muggleborn girls we allowed to use Time Turners before we gave them the rules kept abusing them for rather... immoral purposes."
"Immoral purposes?" Harry asked, confused.
"Think lesbian orgy with only one participant."
"You're kidding!" Harry exclaimed.
"Only slightly, but three quarters of the girls used them that way. At any rate, causality means little to a magic user, so pick away."
"I don't suppose we have any choices that would allow me to be raised in a happy home and still attend the house of my choice?" Harry asked.
A number of statues lit up that were scattered around the hall, standing by the walls where they'd been overlooked.
Dumbledore examined one. "I believe these are lives where you didn't choose to come here at all. For instance, this one has you choosing to becoming a muggle lawyer."
"Then why is he wearing a mask and wings?"
"No idea. Harry Birdman, attorney at law," Dumbledore read aloud.
"How about we narrow things down a bit more?" Harry asked. "Show me only ones who know about love, magic, and aren't wusses."
"Aren't wusses?" Dumbledore asked, amused.
"I want to avoid poetry nights," Harry replied as he approached an interesting looking statue. It showed a young Harry with a smile on his face and in much better condition than he'd been when raised by the Dursleys. He was dressed in formal school clothes and leaning on a staff while he rolled a pair of coins across the back of his left hand. Neither could read his title as it was in Japanese, but the stats were in English. +3 str, +3 int, +4 wis, -1 con, +5 dex, +2 chr. There was additional writing, but it was also in Japanese.
"I like this one, but I can't exactly handle Voldemort if I'm in Japan, and never attend Hogwarts," Harry said.
"He probably chose not to go because he was raised in Japan," Dumbledore admitted. "But when you integrate with him, you can choose to come to Hogwarts."
Harry nodded slowly, as the enormity of what he was about to do hit him. "Well, wish me luck."
Harry stepped forward at his adopted mother's urgings, and into the mists. The sound of his footsteps and the click of his staff fading away. As he walked his memory slowly returned of his other life and choosing this one instead. He had to admit, he'd made the right choice.
Listening intently, he heard a familiar song and strode in its direction.
Most of Hogwarts staff was gathered at the gates to the school, watching the rising mist and listening to Fawkes' sing.
"So where's he been linvin', Professor?" Hagrid asked.
"Japan," Dumbledore said, cheerfully, relieved that all his plans were still possible.
"And he couldn't take a portkey like a normal wizard?" Snape groused.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "When I say Japan, I'm not referring to a Japan you can find on this Earth. The backlash of Voldemort's destruction cast him far from this world. If not for the Hogwarts' roll insisting he was still alive, I'd have thought he was destroyed along with Voldemort. Fortunately, Fawkes was able to deliver his Hogwarts acceptance letter to him and his adopted mother seems to be a witch of some power as she sent a note back with Fawkes saying she'd take care of transportation."
There were many raised eyebrows at that pronouncement, but the rising mist and the click of a walking staff approaching seemed to quell all doubts.
Less than a minute later, a small form stepped through the gate and Fawkes stopped singing. If not for the green eyes, they all would have sworn it was James Potter reborn, standing there in a heavy wool trench coat and leaning on a staff, his backpack hanging off his shoulder. "Hello, Fawkes, thanks for the directions."
AN: Typing by Ordieth!
AN: HP the Master of Death starting with a video game setup and choosing a Sailor Moon crossover avatar. Harry Potter is Charon!