Author's note: Thank you to NotMarge, anonymouscsifan, gossamermouse101, kmj1989, TReneeM, MrsPandaBrowncoat and Kaiseriin for the reviews! Kaiseriin, thank you so much! What a compliment :-)

Yes, another Wednesday night post. I'm almost positive I won't have time to post before work tomorrow, though, so here we go, early posting. This chapter is a little bit of fluff and a whole lotta angst. Enjoy this while it lasts! Reviews are welcome, and, as always, thank you for reading!

If Only...

"I should probably get to bed," Hank says eventually. "It's almost midnight."

It's hard to hide my disappointment, but I manage it somehow. After all, it wouldn't be right to ask Hank to stay in here with me again tonight when he has to sleep in such an uncomfortable position to do so. No matter how much I wish otherwise.

"Ok," I agree.

Before he leaves Hank waits patiently for me to go through the whole song-and-dance in the bathroom again- which thankfully doesn't take nearly as long as it did before- so he's available to re-wrap my ribs after I shower.

"How do you feel?" he asks seriously, kneeling in front of me while I hold my nightie up for him. "Does it still hurt to breathe?"

I shrug. "A little," I admit. I take a deep, experimental inhale to demonstrate. "But not nearly as bad. I actually don't think you need to wrap me again."

Hank frowns, but after examining my bruises closely for a moment he reluctantly nods. "I don't want you to move while I'm gone unless it's to the bathroom and back, ok?" he tells me, rising to his feet.

"Ok."

"Promise?"

I roll my eyes and smile at his concern. Normally I'd be annoyed at the hovering, but with Hank it just comes across as sweet somehow. "I promise."

He waits for me to get settled into bed before finally excusing himself. "Good night, Vivien," he murmurs. After a moment's hesitation he reaches out and squeezes my hand.

You have no idea how hard it is not to yank him down and kiss him. How difficult it's been not to do that all evening.

"Good night, Hank," I reply instead.

And he gives me one more cute little smile before he leaves me alone.

Parting is such sweet sorrow/ That I shall say good night till it be tomorrow, I think to myself with a sigh.

October 28, 1974

I'm dressed and sitting in bed waiting for Hank by the time he arrives in the morning because I didn't want him to catch me looking like death-warmed-over again. I've got some pride, after all. I'm just trying to save what's left of it.

"Good morning," he says as he comes over, an adorable grin on his face.

"'Morning," I reply, smiling like an idiot right back at him.

"How are you feeling?" Hank asks when he gets to the bed. He reaches out and gently touches my ribs. "Sore?"

I shrug. "A little. Mostly hungry, though," I hint. "When's breakfast?"

"Right now."

He offers me his hand, which I of course take immediately.

But then he tries to pull up the wheelchair.

"I don't need that anymore," I tell him, backing away.

I'm not one hundred percent by any stretch, but my ego can't handle feeling like an invalid anymore. That means no more wheelchair for me, God dammit.

"Vivien-"

"No."

"You're not even wearing shoes," Hank protests.

"And?" I retort. "It's a house. It's not like there's broken glass and hot coals all over the floor."

He gives me this pleading look, but I somehow manage to stare him down. Him and his cheating puppy-dog eyes, the bastard.

"Fine," he sighs in exasperation. "But please don't push yourself."

"Ok," I agree, because I can live with that sort of request if it means I win this little showdown. To reward his reasonableness I stand on tiptoe to kiss his cheek again. "Thank you, Hank."

His face turns a little pink, but he also looks pleased. "Shall we?"

I can't help limping a little on our way to the cafeteria. I'm pretty sure Hank notices because he puts his hand on my waist a couple times and lets me lean into him, but he's smart enough not to comment.

Once we're in the dining hall I try to just keep my head down and ignore everybody as we walk over to the buffet line. I can feel them staring at me all over again, like I'm a bug in a jar or something. It makes me uncomfortable, even though I'm trying really hard not to show it.

Hank kinda pointedly hands me a bowl and nudges me towards the cereal assortment. I guess that means having a plate of bacon for breakfast isn't an option this morning. What a party pooper.

After making up a bowlful of cocoa puffs I pick up a chocolate chip muffin and give him a hopeful look.

He frowns.

"Oh, come on!" I cry out. "What's the difference between this and-?"

"Incoming," Hank murmurs suddenly, cutting me off. He nods towards someone behind me.

Feeling kinda startled, I turn around to see who it is.

Aw shit.

It's Evan, and he's making a beeline for me in full view of all of the X-Geeks. Talk about bad timing- this is going to raise all sorts of questions I wanted to avoid in the first place, dammit.

Still, I am glad to see he looks pretty happy here. So that's something, at least.

"Hello, Evan," I greet him cautiously.

"Hi, Vixen," he replies.

"What's up?"

"I-I just wanted to say 'thank you,' again, for helping me," he explains. "I'm really happy here, and it wouldn't have happened were it not for you."

Well damn. Spyke looks so completely sincere that I can't really be mad about him coming over here now, can I?

I give him a smile. "I'm glad to hear it. Just don't tell anyone else that I helped you, ok?" I ask, kinda pointedly glancing over at the X-Men's table.

He frowns in confusion. "But why? I thought, because you were here-"

"I'm just visiting," I explain. "A building fell on me, and the people here were kind enough to help me out."

"Oh," Spyke replies sheepishly. "My bad."

Which means he tattled on me. Crap, this is not good.

I think he realizes it too, if his expression is anything to go by. "Thank you," he says kinda helplessly, before hightailing it out of the dining hall.

This is bad. What if this gets back to Magneto, somehow? I think to myself as I follow Hank over to a small table next to a window overlooking the mansion's extensive grounds.

It's got a perfectly manicured lawn, immaculately pruned shrubbery and gorgeous trees, of course. Like something out of a movie. Why am I not surprised that it's so beautiful?

Just like everything else here...

Jesus, what will I do if Magneto figures out I helped Evan? I guess I'll have to run away, go underground so he can't find me and murder my ass. I mean, it's not like I can-

"You could, you know," Hank says quietly. "Stay here, I mean."

No, sweetie, I can't. I don't even want to imagine what Magneto would do to this place if I hid away here and he found out what I did. It's too dangerous for everyone.

And besides-

I snort derisively. "Of course, because I've made such good friends here," I mutter sarcastically. I can see Havok coming towards our table with an angry expression. "Oh look, here comes one of my new best buddies right now."

"What's this about you helping Spyke escape from Magneto?" he demands, without any further ado. Damn, I wonder who spit in his Wheaties this morning?

"Good morning, Havok," I say. "I'm doing great, thanks for asking. How about you?"

He glares at me, but I keep my expression neutral.

"Well?" Havok snaps. "Did you or didn't you?"

"That's none of your business," I reply flatly, because I don't want to lie and prove myself to be untrustworthy. But I don't really want to tell the truth in this situation, either. This just sucks.

"I'd say it is," he retorts. "I want to know why our enemy is sending people to us. It makes me suspicious of-"

God dammit, this is exactly what I was afraid of. What the hell are they going to do to Evan now? He had a place here, he was happy, and now-

I stand up, which makes both Havok and Hank tense. "That man's done nothing wrong," I coldly tell my accuser. "Leave him alone."

I've got a bad feeling that this discussion is only going to get uglier than it already is if it keeps on, so I decide right then and there to make my exit. I've gotta keep taking the high road or I'll just make it worse for myself- and probably Evan, too.

So with my head held high I limp my gimpy ass out of the cafeteria. I'm kinda bummed that I didn't get to eat my cocoa puffs, but I totally stole that muffin while Hank wasn't looking. I eat it while I hobble along on auto-pilot, not really sure where I'm going.

But I guess it's not too much of a surprise that I end up in the library again, is it? The place I've felt the most comfortable since I got here, the place I've felt the most... at peace in who-even-knows-how-long.

God, if only I could know that Magneto wouldn't hurt anyone here because of me. If only I could get James and Myles to ditch the Brotherhood. If only I could somehow convince the X-Geeks to trust me...

If only I could stay, I think to myself bitterly as I sit on the window seat with my knees tucked to my chin. Me and Hank could be-

And then, as if on cue, I hear Hank approaching the doorway to the library. I know it's him without even looking just from the sound of his footsteps and how hearing them makes my heart unconsciously beat a little faster.

I guess it wasn't too hard to figure out where I went off to, was it? Not for him, anyway. He just knows me too well at this point.

"Found you," he murmurs, taking the seat next to me.

I scoff. "If I was trying to hide you'd never find me."

We're quiet for a minute- I guess neither of us really knows what to say after that little showdown with Havok and everything. Talk about awkward.

Now I feel pretty bad, actually, for ditching Hank like that and leaving him to deal with it. Definitely a dick move on my part.

"Sorry I walked out like that," I mutter. "I thought it would be better than getting into a nasty argument."

"I understand."

I sigh and finally look at Hank. "Please don't let them take it out on Evan, ok?" I plead. "He doesn't deserve any problems just because he got caught up in the Brotherhood's crap. I was really just trying to help him."

"They won't do anything," Hank assures me. "Don't worry."

Oh, come on. I seriously have my doubts about that. I mean surely Charles will at least check out Evan's thoughts now, right? And make sure he's truly not a spy or anything? Otherwise they're really risking too much with the kids here, you know?

"I believe I promised you a trip to the music room today," Hank comments suddenly.

That perks me right up, even though I know I shouldn't let it. Seeing another part of how amazing this place is will just make it that much harder to leave. But just like with spending all this time with Hank, I really can't stop myself from wanting it.

"You did," I agree.

"Come on, then," he says, rising to his feet. He takes my hand and helps me stand up. "This way."

It's gotta be time to get to class or something, because right now the halls are full of kids moving around with purpose. They're so focused that they don't even pay me any attention, thank God. I'm tired of feeling like I'm under a microscope. But this gives me a chance to kinda look around without feeling judged.

They all seem so... happy.

Or if not happy, at least content. Not at all what I expected for an early Monday morning about to be spent in class. But then, what would I know?

I've never actually been in a real school before, let alone a classroom. I managed to get my GED after my parents died, and since then I've been taking some correspondence courses and stuff. Nothing in a traditional scholastic setting, though.

Before that it was just me and my brothers getting home schooled. I probably don't need to tell you that academics weren't their strong suit- James and Myles bolted and skipped lessons as often as they could. So for me, learning has always been a pretty lonely experience.

Seeing all these kids makes me feel sorta jealous, to be honest. I wonder if they know how lucky they have it here? I mean, I wish I could've gone to a school with kids my own age, had a shot to make friends and all that. Maybe if I had I wouldn't be such a goddamn loner all the time.

I'm glad that these guys have that chance, though. I really am.

Hank, who let go of my hand when we stepped out of the library, now reaches for me again and gently pulls me forward. "Here we are," he says, gesturing towards a doorway.

I take a peak inside and-

Aw man. What a letdown.