Chapter 37

Hermione got off the bed and turned to leave. She walked towards the door, but his hand stretch out from behind her and kept it close as she tried to open it. She hadn't heard him come up behind her. She could feel him standing behind her, like an electrical field making the hairs on her arms stand up. Again she cursed her reaction to him. How was she supposed to keep the upper hand if she turned to putty every time he was close?

She could feel his breath on her skin, he was close.

"You shouldn't bait, sweetheart. You'll have to deal with the consequences." He said quietly.

He moved closer and she could feel him along her back. The heat of him. She closed her eyes and tried to breath. Part of her mind was screaming at her that this was an extremely bad idea. Sarcastically saying, lets pick on the mentally unstable boy with dominating tendencies. Because obviously that was going to end well.

Part of her didn't care how it ended, this tension just needed to end. Some resolution to this situation had to be achieved.

He stroked his face in her hair and his hand came up and stroked her neck. Then he pushed her up against the door with his body. Not hard, just firm. His hands came up her arms and twisted around her fingers as the pressed on the wall.

"Is this what you want?" He asked.

Truthfully, this is exactly what she wanted, she just didn't know if it was a good idea. She couldn't see the consequences if this happened. If he was fighting this before, there was some outcome here he didn't want. What was the outcome she wanted? She wasn't reckless enough not to consider how things would play out. What did she want? For them to be a happy family after?

Why couldn't they be a happy family? Why couldn't they just be a normal couple?

Because he couldn't decide if he wanted her or not. Or maybe he just couldn't accept that he did. His body reacted to her. On one level he wanted her really bad.

He turned her around towards him and kissed her. A deep, demanding kiss. Her mind could not compete with a kiss like that. Whatever the consequences were, she would deal with them later. At the moment, she couldn't walk away from this. She brought her arms and legs around him to pull him even closer. She wanted his skin, she wanted his heat, she wanted every part of him.

She was back on the bed and he was on top of her. This felt like heaven. He was shedding clothes off her and she was just watching, feeling every touch. He rubbed his thumb down her cheek and across her lips. There was something in his eyes though as he watched her, but she lost sight of his eyes as he leaned down and kissed her again.

Her legs wrapped around him and savoured every contact. Her insides had turned to warm putty and she just wanted him inside her.

"Oh Merlin." He said and wriggled out of his pants. She felt him entering her and she couldn't breath for the sensation. It just felt so right, even though that part of her mind felt it being him was every kind of wrong. She didn't care. Whatever he was, she was in love with him and she would deal with the consequences later.

He held him close as he moved in and out of her. The exquisite tension sought escape as she strained for every little bit of sensation. She tried and failed to gasp for breath as her body started convulsing around him. How in the world could this be wrong, her mind was screaming. This is perfect, things could be no other way.

The sensation kept coming as he wasn't done yet. It just kept flooding her with each stroke until at last found his release deep inside her. He collapsed down on the bed beside her.

She watched him breath heavily as he recovered. She knew she wouldn't ever have it the same with anyone else. Like it or not, he was it for her, and she couldn't when it came down to it keep any barriers between them.

He pushed himself up on the pillow a bit to rest his head on the head board. She still needed to feel him. She kept her hand on his waist. She realised that the awkward consequences were likely about to happen. She realised he was avoiding her eyes and it hurt. She felt her eyes prickle as she kept them closed.

"You ask too much." He said quietly after a while.

She searched out his eyes, trying to get an understanding of what he said.

"You ask too much." He repeated. "I can't…"

"Then why did you bring us here?" She said. "Did you think I could go through all this and not feel anything? I'm not made of stone."

"It was a mistake." He said.

"A mistake?" She said and hit him. "You brought me here, made me go through all this and it's a mistake? Sorry lets forget? I'm carrying your baby. I'm in love with you. You can't just say it's a mistake lets undo."

"I didn't mean to."

"What did you mean? I can't undo this. Its done."

"I just wanted you to be here." He said barely above a whisper. "It wasn't supposed to go this way."

"You wanted to keep me here, at arms length. I'm not a doll, something you can just keep in your house like an ornament. Why didn't you just let me walk out? Why did you stop me from leaving?"

He didn't answer.

"Why Draco?" She insisted.

"You weren't supposed to fall in love. Haven't I told you it's a ludicrous concept? We were supposed to get along fine. You would be here, and I would be here, and then the baby. And we would all be content."

"But it didn't work that way. Things don't just happen nice and controlled like that."

"It just spun out of control. Its all your fault you know. I'm just kind of stuck now. This is all my fault, I know that." He said. "I'm sorry."

Hermione felt tears starting to well in her eyes.

"If I try to leave, will you stop me?" She asked.

"Probably."

"You can't have it both ways, you have to chose a direction."

"I seem incapable of doing that."

"This isn't fair, Draco."

"I know." He said. "Maybe you should have just left me in Nott's dungeon."

"You know I never could have done that." She said and sat up. "Why did you pick me? Did you pick me because I didn't want you? You do realise that is completely mental. You can't possibly claim you don't know what I'm like. Truth be told you probably knew me better than Harry or Ron ever did. You always knew how to hurt me. Ron always hurt me, but he didn't really know he was doing it. You knew exactly what you were doing. Did you do this to hurt me?"

"No."

"How can I believe you? You said yes before, when I asked you, you said yes. Why did you pick me?"

He refused to answer. Hermione waited for him to answer, but he wouldn't.

"So now what?" She finally said when it became obvious that he wasn't going to volunteer any more.

"I don't know."

"If you don't let me leave, I'm going to come here every night." She said. "If you won't choose a direction, Draco, I will choose one for you."

"What you're going to punish me by sleeping with me every night?" He said. "As far as punishments go, you're a bit of a soft touch."

"This isn't about punishment, Draco. You put a ring on my finger, you're going to have to deal with whatever issues you have."

"I thought this marriage was fake until the baby was born." He said.

"Well, I thought a lot of things about this marriage that wasn't true as it turns out. You've made this into something completely different." She said. "Were you planning on letting me go leave after the baby was born?"

"You would have been too entrenched by then to leave." He said. "Babies don't encourage change."

"And if I still would have wanted to leave, were you going to let me?"

"Probably not." He said with a grin. She could slap him and be perfectly within her rights. Does he revel in his insanity?

"Is your entirely family this demented?"

"My parents had an interesting relationship dynamic." He said but refused to elaborate.

She got up and started to gather her clothes.

"Stuff it." She said and threw the clothes down. "I'm staying here." She said and got back into Draco's bed.

"I like sleeping alone." He said.

"Well you shouldn't have gotten married then, should you?" She said and snuggled in. If he feared closeness and vulnerability, she was going to force it on him until he grew to accept it or relented completely. If he wanted punishment, she was going to dish it out. She snaked her hand around his waist and snuggled into his back. She'd never be able to sleep this close, but he didn't need to know that.