Author's Note: So, I'm sitting at my computer, literally just about to post this chapter, when the internet goes down. Fantastic. So, obviously, I can't post it until the internet is back and I can be on again. Camp is not so conducive to writing and posting fanfiction, as you've probably gathered. But by the time I post the next chapter I will be back at school. Will I have more time? Maybe, maybe not. But at least the internet will be more reliable. I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

-SQ

Disclaimer: Well, the Artemis Fowl series has been finished, and I'm still writing this story…so no, I don't own Artemis Fowl.

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Just Friends

Artemis's next few days were consumed by the mystery tree. Hunched over his laptop, he poured over websites and databases, sorted and catalogued information, and did complicated equations that seemed to make sense to him and Foaly, but that none of the others could make head nor tails of. In fact, as Holly's workload picked up again in the wake of Artemis's recovery, Foaly had become almost a more common presence in Artemis's room than she was, albeit half the time via webcam.

"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, Artemis?" asked the centaur. "We haven't even confirmed yet that this tree is what we think it is."

"I admit that it is just a theory," said Artemis, "but it is the only theory that fits the facts."

"The facts as we know them," argued Foaly. "There could be other, unknown factors involved."

"Factors that will remain unknown until we can get onsite," said Artemis, "which you claim is impossible. We must work with what we have."

"Are you still on about this?" said Holly, leaning over Artemis's shoulder so that her face appeared in Foaly's screen. "Don't you two ever take a break?"

Foaly let out a surprised whinny and Artemis started so badly that he nearly dropped his computer.

"Holly!" he said testily. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry," she said, not sounding very apologetic.

"You did that on purpose," the centaur accused.

Holly shrugged. "Maybe. You two are as boring as a couple of bumps on logs."

"Good day to you, too, Holly," said Foaly sarcastically. "I'm doing fine, thanks, or I was until a certain elf nearly scared my tail off. How are you?"

Holly did not appreciate Foaly's sarcasm. "I'm fine, since you ask," she said. "Not that either of you actually care."

Artemis was a little hurt by this accusation. "Of course we care, Holly, but you are fine, so there is nothing to worry about."

Holly made a disgruntled noise.

"Wow, who put a bee in her bonnet?"

"I heard that, Foaly."

Foaly left about twenty minutes later and Artemis turned his attention to Holly.

"Holly?"

"Mm."

"Holly..."

"Mmmn."

He crossed the room and placed a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off.

"Holly, be reasonable."

"I am being perfectly reasonable. You're the one who decided it's Ignore Holly Day."

"I did no such thing."

"Could have fooled me."

"Holly, Foaly and I were working."

"You had all day while I was at work to work. What were you doing then?"

"Working."

"You can't have been working the entire time!"

"Okay then, I wasn't."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Dying."

"Don't joke about that!" snapped Holly.

"I'll joke about what I like," said Artemis stiffly.

"That's news to me."

"Holly, really," said Artemis, deciding to try a different tactic, "you are being rather over-dramatic, don't you think?"

"No I do not think," said Holly testily. "I came here to see you, not be ignored while you stare at your computer screen."

"It seems more like you came here to yell at me," said Artemis, rubbing his left temple, which had started to throb.

"Trust me, I don't enjoy it nearly enough to make that my sole purpose in visiting you."

"Just one of them."

Holly groaned. "Don't turn this into an Artemis pity party. You're the one who was ignoring me!"

"First you tell me I pay you too much attention when other people are around, and now you tell me I don't pay you enough. Make up your mind, Holly!"

Holly blinked. "Wait. Is that was this is about? You didn't want to be too obvious about us?"

"Yes."

Holly shook her head. "That is so typical of us. You make me mad by trying not to make me mad."

Artemis cocked an eyebrow. "You have a certain way of making us both sound quite ridiculous."

"It keeps us humble."

The two of them looked at each other for a minute.

"I am making the executive decision that we are not fighting," said Holly, taking a seat next to him.

"For now at least."

Holly shot him a look. "I refuse to rise to your pessimistic bait, Artemis. Forget about the tree for five minutes. How's your fever?"

"Almost gone. A few more days and I should be back to myself. Except of course for the weakness caused by weeks of bed rest. And a touch of anxiety."

Holly grinned and bumped his shoulder. "That's great. Well, not the weakness and anxiety part, obviously, but the being almost better part."

"I agree," said Artemis, "I cannot wait to get out of this dungeon of a hospital."

"I'd argue that it's the best there is, and it's hardly our fault we have to be underground, but I can't help but agree with you."

"You don't have to be here," said Artemis. "No one is forcing you to stay."

"Of course no one is forcing me to stay," said Holly, fighting the urge to get peeved at the human boy yet again. "I choose to stay. It doesn't mean I like the place."

"But I did not have a choice," said Artemis.

"You were ill!"

"I am aware."

Holly rubbed her eyes. "Do you want me to go?"

"Do you wish to go?"

"I am asking you."

"And I am asking you."

"No," said Holly finally. "I do not wish to go."

"Then stay."

"I won't if you don't want me to," said Holly.

Artemis sighed. "Of course I want you to, Holly. Forgive my earlier words. I am becoming restless."

"Understandable." Holly smiled at him. "Forgive me for the way I acted earlier as well."

"Of course," said Artemis. "No harm done."

Holly glanced up at him and the look in his eyes sent a shiver of fear through her. It wasn't the kind of fear she used to associate with Artemis, no, this was a different kind of fear all together. Because in Artemis's mismatched eyes was something that Holly would rather not think about right now. Or preferably ever.

Artemis's expression turned into a question when he saw Holly looking at him. For lack of an appropriate response, she leaned up and kissed him, more of a peck really. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? We can put on the one they made of the siege and laugh at how horribly wrong they got just about everything."

"Why not?" said Artemis. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could do with a laugh."

*****RTR*****

Truth be told, Artemis was having a more difficult time focusing on his the tree than he let on. Especially when Holly was in the room. Honestly, it was getting a tad ridiculous. Yes, he liked Holly a great deal, both as a friend and, well, something more. And yes, she was exceptionally pretty. But he had thought he had gotten this blasted puberty under control. This was much worse than it had been with Minerva Paradizo or any other girl. Of course it is, whispered a little voice in the back of his head that sounded like an annoying and slightly disturbing mix between Orion and his mother, you l—

"Enough!" he said out loud, earning him a questioning look from his bodyguard, which he ignored. There was nothing he could do other than let whatever happened happen, not a usual course of action for Artemis Fowl II, but by far the most logical one in this particular instance. What he had to focus on now was a way in which to keep this tree from sucking in and destroying any unsuspecting fairy that stumbled upon it.

*****RTR*****

"Artemis," said Holly, "I need to talk to you."

Artemis looked up from the calculations he was making. "What about?" he asked, motioning for her to take a seat in the chair beside him.

She remained standing. "I…I don't think this is going to work."

"You don't think what is going to work?" asked Artemis absently, his focus still mainly on the calculations in front of him. "My plans concerning the tree? I assure you, I am constructing them with the utmost care and—"

"Not that," said Holly. "Us. As, well, whatever we are right now. I guess as a couple. Sort of. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I think it would be better for us to go back to just being friends."

Artemis blinked at her. Now she had his attention.

"It's not that it hasn't been, well, fun. But…this whole romance…it's not my thing, it's not your thing, it's not our thing. We're friends. Just friends."

Slowly, Artemis nodded. "Yes. Of course," he said, his voice flat. "You are right. Better to stop this now before it goes too far."

Holly almost sagged in relief. He understood, he agreed. "You're still precious to me, Artemis," she said earnestly. "A vital part of my life. I don't want this…experiment to have an impact on our friendship."

"It won't," said Artemis with conviction, and he meant it. He managed a smile. "I would have to be an idiot to let that go. And I am obviously not an idiot."

Holly grinned back at him. "No," she agreed, hugging him, "you are obviously not an idiot."

*****RTR*****

It wasn't really that different, Holly reflected, going back to being simply best friends. In a lot of ways it was easier. There was nothing to hide, no awkward wondering if this touch or that touch meant that thing or the other. Just them, like they always had been, teasing and bantering and working to solve a problem together.

On Artemis's part, he was finding it easier to focus on what he was actually supposed to be focusing on when his subconscious wasn't constantly trying to sort out just what his relationship with Holly was. Maybe that was all they had really needed, to define it in concrete terms. Friends. Just friends. Best friends yes, but still just friends. After all, what kind of a romantic relationship could ever have truly worked between them, a human and an elf? It was a fantasy, and Artemis Fowl didn't believe in fantasies. All in all, both of them were glad that that turbulent part of their lives was over, so that they could move onto the next turbulent part.

*****RTR*****

"I think," said Artemis, turning around in his swivel chair to face the other occupants of the room and steepling his fingers in front of him, "that I have a plan."

"Do I want to hear this?" asked Holly.

"I hope so," said Artemis, "as I am counting on you as a vital part of it."

"Alright, Artemis, we'll bite," said Butler. "What is this plan of yours?"

"Well," said Artemis, in a tone Butler and Holly recognized from years of listening to Artemis's lectures, "the way I see it, the tree needs to exchange energy with fairies in order to survive."

"If that's the case, why didn't it die off years ago?" asked Mulch. "When the People stopped using it for the Ritual?"

"A very good question, Mr. Diggums," said Artemis. "But one, of course, which I have already thought of. It appears that when the tree stopped receiving sufficient energy transfer from fairies, it began to rely on its own powerful energy reserves to maintain its existence. It was not a healthy existence, but this, along with the energy absorbed from the odd captured fairy has kept it alive thus far. However, there are numerous problems with this manner of sustenance."

Trouble Kelp, who had insisted on being a part of this meeting, snorted. "You're telling me."

"Yes," said Artemis, apparently unfazed by the commander's continued dislike of him. "I am telling you. The most obvious problem, of course, is the loss of fairy lives, but it doesn't end there. The way in which the tree has been over-extending its magical energy has had or will soon have two severely negative side-affects. The first is the corruption of the tree itself. Its original relationship with the People was a symbiotic one, but now it acts as a parasite, a killer, leeching out all of a fairy's energy before incinerating their corpse.

"A pleasant image, Artemis," said Holly dryly, as No1 shuddered.

"Get to the point, Mud Boy," snapped Commander Kelp. "You might have all day, but I don't."

"Patience, Commander," said Artemis. "As I was saying, the second effect of this immense expense of reserve energy will be the eventual destruction of the tree itself."

Juliet raised her hand.

"Yes, Juliet?"

"Well, it's just, isn't that a good thing? Seeing as it's killing fairies."

"Hardly," said Artemis. "This is the last of the Great Oaks in existence. To allow it the burn itself out would be a grave disservice to the planet, not to mention an insult to the fairy races' histories. Not only that, but we don't know how long it will take for the tree to run out of its energy stores. It could be another decade, it could be another millennium."

"So then what do you propose we do?" This was from Holly.

"I propose," said Artemis, and he couldn't help adding a slight pause for dramatic effect, "that we go to the site, place a magical cordon around the tree, and then attempt to make contact with it in the first ritual of its kind in millennia."

There was a moment of silence, and then everyone spoke at once.

"A magical cordon? Do you know how much energy that would take?"

"Absolutely not! The risk involved is far too high!"

"How do you even go about contacting a tree?"

"Wouldn't it simply suck up the cordon and all of our magic too?"

"Gentlemen, gentlemen. And ladies," he added, nodding at Holly and Juliet. "Please calm yourselves and allow me to explain. You are right, there is a large amount of risk involved, and I will not ask anyone to attempt it who is not a hundred percent willing. The magical cordon will take an vast amount of energy; luckily, our little demon friend," here he nodded and No1, "is more than capable of forming and maintaining such a cordon, even taking into account the pull exerted by the tree. Obviously he would not be able to maintain it indefinitely, but he should be able to provide us with ample time to attempt the other stages of my plan."

Holly was almost afraid to ask. "And where do I come in?"

Artemis took a deep breath. He had thought long and hard about this part of the plan. The fact that he really saw no other way did not mitigate the many levels of unpleasantness he felt at asking his friend to do this. "You would be the one attempting the Ritual," he said. "If you are willing, of course."

Trouble Kelp was outraged. "If you think you are going to put one of my best officers in harm's way yet again for another one of your crazy schemes you have another thing coming! Every time she agrees to help you she very nearly ends up getting herself killed!"

Artemis accepted the accusation; it was, after all, more than partly true. "It is Holly's decision, and I will accept whatever one she makes," he said calmly.

"As her commanding officer—"

"Oh do shut up, Trouble," said Holly tiredly. "Artemis is right, neither one of you can make or stop me. Artemis, can I have some time to think about this?"

"Of course," said Artemis. "How much time do you need?"

"How much time do we have?"

Artemis looked at his watch, which had both Holly and Butler internally groaning. "If we want to time this for the optimum chance of success, taking into account travel and set-up time, you have…four and a half hours."

AN: Okay…so maybe you didn't so much enjoy that middle section of the chapter. I've had this and more planned for a good while. Until next time. Feel free to pelt me with distressed reviews.

-SQ