Long Way Home
Chapter 37 – Morning
Sunlight streamed in through the open curtains room waking Haer'Dalis from a sound sleep. He opened one eye in acknowledgement of the sun's presence and then closed it again as he slid over to curl around Jen who was lying with her back towards him, taking pleasure in the feel of her warm skin against his own . She turned towards him, stretching catlike in his arms before nestling closer. His arms tightened around her and he began to stroke her back.
"I don't want to get up," she murmured, burying her head in his shoulder.
He opened he eyes to see her looking up at him. "Nor do I, my love, he replied. They lay quietly in each other's arms, enjoying the comfortable contact until the aroma of warm bread and sausage, wafting up from the kitchen below served to remind them that it had been some time since they had eaten.
Haer'Dalis sighed exaggeratedly as his stomach began to growl prompted by the delicious smells coming from below. "I would give much to remain here my Kestrel, but I fear that if I do not find sustenance soon, I won't be able to go on – or at least have much strength for the day's activities."
Jen glanced up at him, her expression amused. "Very dramatic. Still, I wouldn't want you to waste away. We've probably been lucky to be able to stay in bed for so long without interruption. To be honest, I'm a little surprised that Tristan hasn't shown up to give us the day's news or something."
Smirking he replied, "Perhaps our new-hatched knight is contributing to her delay. Assuming of course that his precious Order has allowed him to escape their ever-watchful eye."
"Maybe." Her face became thoughtful. "Actually I hope for both their sakes that you're right." She rose and began collecting her clothing. Haer'Dalis propped himself up, hands behind his head, watching until she retired behind the screen to wash and dress before laying back to stare abstractedly at the ceiling. His faraway look disappeared abruptly as she emerged and snatched up a pillow, smacking him soundly with it. "Get up you slug! You told me to move because you were dying of hunger, now here I am ready to go and you haven't even budged!"
He laughed and swung himself out of bed, reaching for his pants. "As you wish." She rolled her eyes and he came up behind her, wrapping his arms about her waist. But as he bent to kiss the top of her head, his stomach betrayed him again, rumbling loudly with hunger. She giggled, tilting her head back to look up at him and he grinned ruefully back at her.
"Look, why don't I go down and ask for breakfast to be sent up before you die of starvation. You can make yourself presentable while I'm gone," she said and left the room.
Jen leaned back her in chair with a contented sigh, a large cup in her hand. She glanced over to see Haer'Dalis smiling in amusement at her obvious satisfaction. "I'm so glad you located coffee for me. I know you don't understand the attraction, but believe me two things I've missed about home are this," she waved the cup at him, and chocolate. There are some things that just can't be replaced."
He smiled and shook his head, refusing to take the bait. "All too true, my Kestrel. Memory for example."
"Yeah." She frowned, her expression turning sober. "Whether acquired or lost."
He reached over and squeezed her hand, "Jen…," he began, stopping as she looked away.
She stared unseeingly out the window as she took a long swallow of coffee. When she finally looked at him again, her expression was neutral and her tone almost casual. "It's ok. Really."
"No 'tis not or you wouldn't have said anything."
"Well, ok, not entirely," she admitted, "but it will be."
He looked at her concernedly but said nothing. After moment she gave him a rather lopsided smile. "Actually, I guess we should talk about what happened last night. Get this over with. Not about what happened later…I mean talk about what happened when you first came into the room. "
"If you feel you're ready."
She nodded. "Yes I need to get this over with." She tossed back the last of the coffee, putting the cup back on the table before turning to look at him. "It's just…I felt so stupid; so ashamed of getting myself into such a mess. I knew Lord Roenal was in his study. I just wasn't thinking when I went over and started throwing stuff. I endangered myself and almost screwed up our whole plan. And then Lord Roenal…." A wave of color crept up her cheeks staining them a dull red and she looked down at the table. "He kissed me and felt me up. He cut me a few times and he threatened me. I knew he wanted to scare me – and to hurt you. And I was scared. But the worst part was that I felt like I somehow deserved it by giving him the opportunity to trap me in the first place." She rolled her eyes, shaking her head ruefully. "At home I'm quite good at taking care of myself. But here I'm like a kid who needs constant supervision. I don't much like it. So last night when I remembered him… I felt …really ashamed and angry with myself. Just wanted to crawl away and die for a moment. And it did help to have a little time. Even just a few hours of sleep to put some distance between…."
He raised her hands to his lips, kissing them reassuringly but his voice was harsh as he ground out, "I should never have let him go. Regardless of what Tristan said, I should have killed him. And if I ever run across him again, 'twill be his bad luck for I will kill him." His voice softened and he squeezed her hands, echoing Lila's words of the night before. "You did nothing wrong, Jen. Nothing. And his behavior bears no excuse; least of all that you 'deserved' it." His eyes bored into hers. "Many would not have been able to keep their wits about them under such circumstances. You did and you survived. And kept Malichus from injury as well as Lord Roenall from gaining the documents. So, waste no more thought on self-blame Jen. You did the best you could; as we all did."
"Thank you, Haery." She sighed, giving him a somewhat lopsided smile. "I just have to keep reminding myself to let it go." She leaned over to hug him and then poured herself a fresh cup of coffee. They ate silently for a few minutes, looking out at the garden. Finally Jen said, "You started to say something about your own memory a few minutes ago. Now that you know what happened wasn't déjà vu, do you think that reversing time changed your memory of it as well?"
He took the change of subject in stride, looking thoughtful. He ran a hand through his hair, the beads woven into it clinking together softly. "Perhaps it did. I would give much to be able to remember it all. No matter what one calls it, I find knowing only bits and pieces to be exasperating at the least. It just feels as though there is something that needs to be finished."
Nodding, she placed her cup back on the table. "It is frustrating not to remember things. Maybe you're trying too hard; perhaps you should just go with it – not worry about it. Maybe that will allow the memories to come back more easily."
He tilted the chair back, one arm behind his head. "I can't help but believe that the clues are in front of me." He cleared his throat, shaking his head in exasperation and leaned forward, the front legs of his chair hitting the floor with a thud. "However, you're very likely right and may all come back at some point. But in the meantime we have other things to occupy us for unless you intend to remain with Nanny Bea – and I very much hope that is not your intent – you'll be traveling with me and that means you'll need to be better prepared for what we might meet on the road."
She shook her head. "I'm not sure I know what makes the most sense. When I first came here all I wanted to do was go home. I love Nanny but I don't really want to spend the rest of my life there. I wouldn't mind traveling, but what about Tristan? You're traveling with her and she's been very clear that she doesn't want me; that I don't have the right skills. So…I just don't know."
He squeezed her hand reassuringly, "Tristan may have a different perspective now that she's worked with you. But, perhaps you should go home, albeit briefly, just to say farewell."
She nodded. "Particularly after seeing Ronnie…the spirit…whatever it was, I do want to see my parents. And Beth and Franny." Her expression shifted and become more sober. "But it will be hard to leave them a second time. How do you leave your friends and family, especially if it might be forever? It's one thing when it just happens but to do it knowing that it's unlikely you'll never see them again…." She sighed. "But at the same time, I can't go off without letting them know I'm ok."
"'Twill serve to close a chapter for you if nothing more although truly it need not be forever and you need not go alone. I'll go with you. I'm curious about your world and afterwards, who knows? If you're willing, we'll travel the planes…or return to the primes. And I swear to you that should you change your mind about being with me I will do my utmost to see that you return to your own world once again." She nodded again, her look thoughtful as he continued, "But first we must visit Cambrel and get the location of the portal. And more importantly, you need to be outfitted for the journey."
"Journey?" Jen echoed the word. "I understand being on the road, but what need to have before stepping through a portal? It's not that hard. Or at least it doesn't seem so. I mean last time I just sort of fell into it."
"Surely my love, you don't think portals are located on every street corner? Perhaps 'tis true on Sigil but certainly not on a prime like Faerun. For if that were the case beings would pop in and out of worlds like fleas on a dog. He grinned broadly, clearly amused. "Although I admit the resulting pandemonium would be most entertaining."
Her mouth twitched and then she started to giggle, "Honestly Haery, is chaos allyou ever think about?"
"'Twas once my sole reason for living, although recently I have found myself focused upon a lovelier and certainly more pleasant life purpose." He raised an eyebrow, leering at her for a moment and then his expression became serious once again, "Assuming Cambrel has found a portal, we'll most likely need to travel to reach it and you can't wander about in most places without some protection, my love. Even Athkatla is not always safe as you've had reason to learn. You'll need some kind of armor and time to get used to wearing it."
She sighed. "You right. And I guess I have been thinking of portals as being somewhat similar to heading over to the nearest subway station." She grinned at the puzzled expression on his face, "Never mind. You'll understand one of these days." Then she too turned sober, "But I have no way to buy anything. Nanny has been kind, but I certainly don't have enough money to buy armor."
"But you do. Surely you don't think you participated in our last adventure without earning a share of the company's funds? And even if you had not, I have the means to pay."
She made a face. "Alright, but I don't know if I really need it. And I wonder whether I'll really be safer or if it will keep me from protecting myself in the only way I know how."
He grinned at her. "And that would be?"
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Why running away, of course! Haven't you heard the saying, 'He who learns to run away, lives to fight another day?"
He shook his head, "Not a terribly effective defense overall. But I have seen you defend yourself; you don't lack courage. I would suggest you learn to use a bow and possibly a dagger. Nalia has skills with the former and I with the latter. While you may not become expert with either, 'tis possible that you can learn enough to protect yourself."
"Alright," she said nodding reluctantly.
"So we'll go to the Promenade and perhaps visit Tristan after." He pushed back his chair and rose from the table. She expected him to head downstairs but instead he headed towards his room and went inside. Jen followed, watching as he went to a large trunk and opened it. He pulled out a multitude of items, his fingers quickly locating the hidden latch to its false bottom, opening it to reveal the cache of coins and papers.
"What's all this?" she asked.
"My winnings among other things."
"And the papers?" She picked up a pile and began looking at them. They were covered with strange symbols and words that she didn't recognize.
"Spells…." His voice trailed off as he stared thoughtfully at the stack of papers in her hand. Spells. I liberated a rather unusual spell from Cambrel, did I not? Where is it? He began to look through the scraps of paper, turning them over to scrutinize them carefully but it was nowhere to be found. He sat back on his heels, continuing to stare at jumbled scraps before him. "It's not here."
"What's not here, Haery? What's missing?"
"A spell," he said slowly, "I had a spell that affects time. But I couldn't cast it. I'm not powerful enough." He looked at her, excitement growing in his face, "But I might have taken it to someone who could." He thought for a moment, "Raelis told me of a mage who lives in the Promenade. She described him as being more powerful than most. If I did take it to someone I might have taken it to him."
"The Promenade? Isn't that where this mysterious mage of Tristan's was located? The one who was arrested along with her sister? Surely your friend Raelis didn't visit - what was his name…Irenicus?"
"No. This one is a planetraveler. Raelis wouldn't have trusted anyone else," he replied. He sat back on his heels, thoughtfully rubbing his chin.
She leaned forward to take his hands in her own. "Then I think we should go and find him."
He squeezed her hands in return and then pulled her towards him, "In a little while."
She went to him willingly enough but after a few moments drew back with a smile, "If we don't go now, we'll never go."
Nodding, he rose reluctantly and quickly put on his armor. Once finished, he put out a hand to help her to her feet and together they went out the door.