Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: I'm sick :( I've got the cold again, it's the third time this school year. Reviews shall be my pain killers!

So two updates in one day, are you all happy (the other update is Mistreated, which I've noticed is a much more preferred story by you guys) ?

To need, want and love

"I still don't trust you, you know," I said as I was walking behind Edward, while he was dragging me to what seemed like the elevator.

"Right," he said, as he glanced back with a grin on his face. "You don't trust me, so you just decided to come with me here, and you don't trust me but still prefer being around me?"

He pushed the button for the elevator to come up - or down - again, towards our floor.

Which was?

"Let me guess," I said, ignoring his comment. "This is floor thirteen? It is, isn't it?" With my luck, I just had to be on that floor.

"It's floor twelve, and that floor," he pointed up, "is floor fourteen." I scowled. "Didn't you notice in the airplane that the number thirteen was skipped?"

"Where?" I asked.

"You know, there where you can put your luggage," he explained.

"It was?"

He nodded his head. "Yep. So, no, we are not on floor thirteen. It doesn't even exist." He glanced at me once more and dragged me into the elevator, which was empty.

Great.

It was uncomfortable and awkward, for me. For Edward, nothing could be awkward.

"You okay?"

I looked up and Edward was looking at me in a strange way.

"Yeah, sure," I quickly said, then looking straight in front of me. The urge to cry was suddenly overwhelming and Edward must have noticed. I blinked quickly, and tried to concentrate on staying calm. Everything was fine until he asked me if I was okay. Then it just felt like Edward really cared for me.

It wasn't just a kind question that you must ask, no. Edward asked me in a really concerned matter.

Shit.

Edward was looking at me, I could sense it, but he didn't say a thing, for which I was grateful.

The doors opened and a mother with her child stepped in.

"I don't want to go!" the child almost screamed.

"We have to, Joni, it's to make you healthy. Don't you want to be healthy?"

"No! It hurts!"

"It's just a little blood test, it barely hurts!"

"Yes, mommy, it does!"

"What if I promise you that it won't?"

The child looked up at Edward and the woman looked behind her, first glancing at me, and then at Edward.

My eyes widened, but I didn't look at him. I kept staring in front of me.

"Deal?" Edward asked, raising his hand towards the little girl.

This girl looked suspicious at him and his hand, but I saw her take his hand and they shook once.

"Do you mind?" Edward asked and when I realized he was talking to me, I quickly shook my head. I couldn't believe he was seriously asking me if I minded or not. I was not going to say no, the girl was barely six or seven.

"No, of course not, Dr. Cullen," I said, not able to prevent a small smile on the mention of that name.

"Well, right after you, ladies," Edward said when the doors opened.

The girl jumped out and the mother followed suit. Edward put his hand on my back for a brief moment when we stepped out and when I looked up at him, he was already starting to speed up, so that I was walking behind him.

"Where are you going?" the mother asked when Edward almost reached a door. We were in the waiting room for the people who had to draw blood, but Edward didn't seem to care. He put his hand on the knob.

"It's right over here," Edward said.

"But... all these people, aren't we supposed to wait?"

Edward smiled and shook his head. "She's just a child." The girl didn't hear it when Edward said that, but the mother looked awfully relieved.

"Thank you so much," she said.

Edward stood in front of the door until the mother had dragged her child inside the room. She had begun crying and Edward motioned for me to get inside to. I pointed at myself in surprise.

"Yeah," he said.

"But..." I started, looking nervously around. "It's your job."

He scowled. "No, it's not. I made an exception."

"I'm not good with children," I said.

"It will only take a moment."

"I never know what to tell them," I hissed once I stepped closer to him. "Kids are scary."

Edward laughed freely and grabbed my arm to pull me in.

"Like a said, it'll only take a moment."

"A moment could take forever," I mumbled.

The girl refused to sit on the chair.

"Look, look," Edward said, quickly and smoothly, walking away from me to talk to the other girl instead. The girl looked up in surprise and suspicion again. Edward grabbed my shoulders and for a moment, we had eye contact.

What are you doing?

Trust me.

No.

Bella, trust me.

Fine, I trust you!

Edward smiled triumphantly and I glared at him. Stupid Edward.

He pushed me towards the chair and pushed me down, forcing me to sit down on it.

I swear to God...

Trust me.

No.

You just said you would.

Whatever.

Edward chuckled. It was as if we really could talk to each other by just looking in each others eyes.

"So, look, this girl over here will not yell or cry at all and she definitely won't feel any pain. Just look."

Edward put an elastic band around my upper arm and tapped on a vein. I closed my eyed and wondered if he really was about to stick a needle in my arm. He was quick at pulling out the needle out of it's original packet and I gulped. Why did I have to be a guinea pig just for some girl?

He placed his fingertips on my left arm and gently held it steady. I looked up and Edward noticed my discomfort.

"Don't worry, it's okay," Edward said softly and for once I didn't care if the people next to us could here us.

He pushed the needle in my arm and I felt it poke inside a vein.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"You've improved," I mumbled.

"First time with you I was a little nervous," he murmured back.

My eyes shifted up to him, but he was busy doing something else, searching for something.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

The woman grabbed her child's ears and looked angrily at me. I looked up at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking back at Edward. He was taking a deep breath.

Edward Cullen is never nervous. How could he be? He's Edward.

But then he grabbed a tube and filled it blood and all rational thoughts flew out of the window.

Hey! That's my blood. Don't take my blood!

Edward chuckled when he saw my expression.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Just sounded funny, I guess, along with the cute expression of yours." Edward nudged the little girl while he was still taking blood from me.

Four.

Five.

Yeah, take it all. Take all the blood I have.

"Isn't she funny?" Edward asked her.

"Misses Cullen, did it hurt?"

I stared at the girl, feeling that my eyes were wide and it was eerily quiet around us.

Edward's voice was the first to interrupt it.

"Did it, Bella?" Edward asked. I didn't look at him.

"No," I said, looking at the girl instead. She was blond and had big, blue eyes.

Finally he pulled out the needle and put a plaster on it.

"There, all pretty again. Next patient!"

"No," the girl said, shaking her head.

"Look," Edward said. He grabbed a new needle and pulled up his sleeve. He quickly pushed it in the pit of his arm, and then pulled it out, showing her the one single drop of blood on it. "It's as simple as that. Okay?"

The girl nodded her head. My mouth had dropped. The woman beside me was just as speechless.

"Can you come and sit here then for me, please?" Edward asked.

Oh, he was mean. He was using his charms and green eyes on the little girl. She was bewitched as she sat on the chair and let Edward quickly take some blood, after he had scanned through the papers the mother had given him.

"All done, little one," Edward said, smiling at her.

She jumped off the chair and practically ran out of the room.

But not before she yelled her parting words.

"Goodbye, Misses Cullen and Mister Cullen!"

"Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

The woman left quickly and I glared at the door.

I blurted out the first thing that I thought off.

"Why did you take my blood?"

Edward stood up from the chair he was sitting on. He was amused.

"We are not married," I continued when he didn't answer quick enough. "Why didn't you correct them?"

"Why didn't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why didn't you?" I asked angrily.

He sighed. "Does it matter?"

I nodded my head in disbelief. "Yes!"

He shrugged. "Don't let it bother you. It's nothing."

Really, that was much easier said then done.

I didn't get it. I still didn't. Was it normal to just be a doctor... so quickly?

"Weren't we going outside?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Yes, right now," Edward said, opening the door and grinning.

I walked out of it and left Edward behind.

"I'm sorry," he said from behind me.

"I'm not angry," I said.

I was angry with myself, actually, not him.

All those stupid people in the waiting room were gawking at us. Jeez.

He quickened his step until he was walking by my side.

"I'm sorry for annoying you then," he said with the hint of a smile in his voice.

"You're not," I said angrily.

"Sure, Izzie. Now tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing," I murmured. "Which way is outside?"

"There," he said, pointing to the left. I saw another elevator and stood in front of it after I hit the button. "Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," I said.

There's too much too tell and if I don't tell you now, I'll burst.

"Bella, it's obvious that something's on your mind."

"No."

Yes.

I walked to the door that led to the stairs and quickly walked down.

"Don't run away," Edward said in his now ghostly voice from behind me.

"Shut up," I said. The stairs sucked. I was out of breath when I got down and felt my heart beat frantically. I had to stop and put my hands on my knees.

"Bella, we're on floor six now, don't be stubborn and let's take the elevator," he said.

"No." I was going to be stubborn.

"Why?"

"Because I can walk down the stairs."

I started going down for another floor, but was even more tired after that flight.

"I know you can, but at the moment it's not a matter of being physically able, Bella," Edward quickly said. "You're worn out and it's a medical riddle as to why you're still alive. Maybe you'll die tomorrow and maybe you'll die right on the spot."

He put his hand on my back and bended down to put his other hand behind my knees. I let him lift me up and put my arms around him, my head on his head. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My nose was touching his temple.

"But if you even dare to quicken that process, just because you think you know better, don't look up strangely when I'm there to stop you," he continued. He started walking down the stairs and I almost fell asleep.

I didn't let myself though, because I wanted to remember this moment. I had begun to care for Edward, to miss him when he was away, to feel pain for him when he was in pain and...and I had begun to love him back.

I love Edward.

I sighed deeply as a few tears started to fall and I realized that he was only one of three people in this world that I loved.

Mom and Dad were the only people that I loved. Though, since recently, I wasn't sure about that. Maybe there was only one person that I really loved.

It didn't matter that he hurt me so often and it didn't matter what other people thought. The drugs didn't matter, the harsh words didn't, the cutting and the vomiting, undressing me, forcing me, because he was being somebody... I needed. It didn't matter, because right now everything felt alright, nice, fine and comfortable.

I wanted this to last for a very long time.

"Don't leave me," I said. I brushed my face on his doctor's clothes, getting rid of the tears. He wouldn't mind.

"I thought that was the thing that I was supposed to fear."

"How come?"

"The odds are likely that you'll leave me. But if it is a comfort, I won't leave you, even though I do believe that this is something I have told you before."

"I won't leave you," I said. It sounded so strange, the way he said if it is a comfort. If. He believed that I didn't want him around. Sure we had gone to places where it was darker then any place the both of us had ever been, but we had been there together, and at times when we weren't in the dark, we were surrounded by bright lights, so bright they almost blinded us.

I guess both those places aren't good.

You have to be able to see all the time, right?

"You're gonna die and that's the same as leaving."

"I won't die," I said.

"You will die," Edward said. "Within the week."

Say what? "I won't-"

"You will, and it will happen before the ending of the next week," Edward said, interrupting me. "You refuse to eat, so your brain refuses to work. You are already talking very slow and it's hard for you to think. You might not notice it, but I do. Your kidneys are failing on you, you are low on potassium, magnesium and sodium. Your liver is damaged. Dead. It's irreversibly damaged. Your blood is low on all kinds of cells. Just like AIDS, you've lost a lot of white blood cells. They're supposed to help your body against infections."

With eyes that were closed, I listened to Edward's voice, and I learned.

And I fought.

That's what I wanted to tell him. That I was fighting. And that I was not going to die.

But I also wanted to yell. The way Edward was talking, made me think if he even cared. He sounded non-caring. He sounded like a robot.

"The worst of it all is the loss of potassium. It causes an irregular heart rhythm."

Then again, he wouldn't go through all this trouble, if he didn't care, even just a little bit.

Or I was his big, fun guinea pig. I was the mystery, alive girl, the one that should have died weeks ago.

"Hello, Edward," a concerned male voice said. "Is she alright?"

I was too tired to lift up my head and see who had talked. Apparently we had made it to the first floor.

"She's okay," Edward said. "I'm taking her outside."

"You can page me, you know, if you need any help." I heard a pager go off. "I've got to go!"

"Thanks," Edward mumbled while I heard the quick footsteps of the other man walking away from us.

The sun was shining, because I felt the heat of it on my skin. Still, I didn't open my eyes.

I felt Edward sit down, because I was now sitting on his lap.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't really want to die."

"I don't really believe you anymore."

"I really don't," I said. "I'm not lying. You have to believe me." I was starting to get desperate, but Edward already thought that I was suicidal.

"It's all out of my reach," Edward said. "I've tried everything." He was scowling deeply when I looked up at him. "And nothing worked."

His expression seemed like he was in livid pain. He was there alone and I had to watch him. "Edwa-" I began.

"I'm just sorry I put you through all that pain and humiliation, Bella," he said, his eyes dropping to mine. "I was hurting you and then cutting you..."

"Edward..." I said, looking into his green eyes. "It's okay."

"Is it?" he asked.

"Yes."

"But you are dying," he said slowly.

I was feeling very weak. It was as if Edward's words had really made my body even more tired and... as if it was giving up on life.

"Maybe..."

Maybe I should...

I sighed deeply, while looking in his beautiful green eyes.

"I don't want to die..." I mumbled, putting the side of my head on his shoulder. This way I could still see his face. "Edward? Do you think I'll have more time if I eat?"

He looked down at me, calculating me. Suddenly, he flashed me a bright, cheerful smile.

I could almost smile back and be happy.

I didn't want to die and I didn't want to eat.

But if I had to pick, would I choose food over dying?

"No."

"Okay, then I'll ea- Wait, what did you say?"

Now I put both of my hands on his chest to raise myself up and to look at his face.

"I-I th-thought t-t-that-" I stuttered nervously until he interrupted.

"Your problem's up here, Bella," he said, tapping my head. His finger went over my cheek, down, until he kept it at the side of my chin. His eyes were sad. Mine were desperate.

I let my head drop on his and our foreheads touched.

Beautiful, hypnotizing green against ugly brown.

"Edward, help me," I said.

I must have gripped his shoulders way too tight, but he didn't budge and he didn't complain.

"Please," I said, closing my eyes as the world drawled for a long time over my lips. "Please, Edward." He put his hand on the back of my head and I leaped forward, as I opened my arms wide and pulled his chest close to mine.

He was hugging me back and it felt perfectly nice. If he wasn't holding me back, I'm sure I would have broken down right in front of him.

Because...

"I need you."

I wasn't really sobbing, but I felt like somebody I loved had just died. It felt like experiencing somebody that close to you was dying.

"Please, Edward, please help me," I pleaded. "I need your help. I need you."

"After everything I did to you?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yes. And I want you."

"You say that because you're scared and I'm the only one not tying you on a bed or sending you to shitty clinics. You don't want me the way I want you."

"Yes, I do, Edward," I murmured in his clothes. "I don't know what comes first, need, want or love, but this messed up universe threw all three of those things to me and now I need you and I want you and I-"

"Bella, shh, I'll help you, but don't feel forced to say anything, you know-"

I was looking at his with an open mouth, because those three words I had been about to see couldn't have been more real then a true lie and Edward thought I felt forced to say them. He's an idiot.

"You know, Edward," I said, interrupting him this time. But I didn't know what to say. He had managed to shut me up.

"I'll help you, Bella, I'm just afraid you'll die in the end," he said softly. "And I... I don't want to lose you."

"You won't get rid of me that easily," I said.

His eyes almost twinkled at the sides.

I let my head drop on his shoulder again.

I didn't like the seriousness of the conversation anymore and Edward, I guess, agreed with me.

"I hate you, Bella," Edward said. "I hated you the day you entered my life."

"Now you shouldn't feel obliged to-" I was pushing against Edward's shoulder to lift myself up, but Edward had put his hand on my back to stop me, and interrupted me.

"I told myself never to love somebody again after my parents died, because it hurts when you lose them," Edward said close by my ear. "I managed well, with the help of drugs, wrong friends and a bad ass attitude. And just when I thought everything was going well, you showed up and messed up all my plans. I didn't do a good job with that deal I made with myself, because I fell for you."

My eyes were wide open because of the truth Edward just told me.

What have I done?

I wanted to apologize. But I also wanted to tell him it wasn't my fault. Love happens. But whatever I wanted to say, words weren't enough to express how much it meant to me that he had told me the truth. Everyday I got to know Edward a little more.

I leaned a little forward until my lips touched his neck and I kissed him there. I felt the tiniest movement there and I realized it was his artery. I was moving so fast that it made me giggle.

Edward looked down at me with a scowl.

I was still giggling and he must have thought that I had really lost it now.

"It's moving so fast," I tried to explain, touching his artery.

He rolled his eyes and looked back down at me. "That's the first thing you can come up with after what I just told you?"

"Actually, no," I said, drawling out the word. "The first thing I was able to come up with was to kiss you."

"You couldn't resist yourself, could you?" he asked with a grin while looking straight in front of him.

"I couldn't resist you," I said.

Edward looked down at me and lifted my head up with my chin. He was staring at me eyes.

"Are you high?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "What did you give me?"

He scowled and then rolled his eyes again. He changed the subject.

"Will you tell me now what was bothering you before?" he asked.

"Yeah. Okay. I don't understand how you became a doctor."

"I already told you."

"Yeah, and you also told me that I can't think straight and talk anymore either."

"That's not what I said. Anyway, I told you. I go with little sleep. And in those hours of boredom, when I'm not drinking, doing drugs or partying, I study."

"You know, I don't believe you," I said. He looked down and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't believe you," I repeated.

"Yeah, I heard you. Why not?"

"I just don't believe you do so much bad stuff as you make out you do. I hardly ever see you drinking, and you said so yourself that you started to dislike drugs. I mean, you wrote it down in the diary you stole from me."

He narrowed his eyes as he looked at me, but not in a way that he was angry. He was thinking and wondering, but I didn't know about what.

"True," he eventually said.

"So you must have had a lot of free hours," I said.

He nodded his head.

"If I didn't do something... I would have done bad stuff instead, as you just called those things bad stuff. And I'm hardly a doctor, Bella."

"Yeah, you are," I said.

"This is just my first year and it's not like I'm doing surgery."

"Yeah, what ever, Edward," I said, looking away.

He nudged me and I looked back at him, smiling. I still had to look up. And he was holding most of my weight in his arms.

"What drug do you like?" I asked.

"Guess," he said as he looked away from me.

"I don't know."

"I'll tell you. But first I have to tell you something else."

"What?" I asked quickly.

"I've sent in some of my blood to check if I was a candidate for you. Turns out, I am, but we have to wait for at least three days until all the XTC I took yesterday is out of my system. Then I can give you my liver."

My body swayed a little, but Edward had gripped unto me again.

Blood...

Candidate...

XTC...

His system...

His liver...

"What are you talking about?" I asked with wide eyes. My head was having some sort of an error, like the one that you sometimes have with your computer. I wasn't sure though if this error was fixable.

"I'm saying... Bella, I'm saying you're liver needs to be replaced, partly."

"No, no, no..."

"And I'm saying that you can have mine."

"How do you want to live without a liver?" I said, almost yelled at him.

"Only partly," he said very calmly. "It'll grown back."

"Liver's don't grow."

"Liver's grow, sweetie."

"Whatever. What's wrong with mine?"

He smiled, but wasn't looking at me. "Does it matter?"

"Does anything matter?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes." He got up and pulled me up with both my hands. "I love you. That matters."

My mouth opened and slowly we began walking towards the hospital again.

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, stopping. He turned with my hand still in his. "There's XTC in your blood?"

"Yeah, it's noticeable for a few days. Takes a while until it's completely out of my system."

"Tough luck. So that's the love drug?"

He nodded.

"The one you love?"

"Loved."

"Oh," I said, rolling my eyes. "You found a new drug. From which I still don't know what it is."

"Yes," he said.

I was trying to come up with a witty remark. Yes, I wanted him near me, but I never asked for drugs.

Edward, though, had stepped closer to me and bended down, while looking very strangely at me. Then I knew, he was going to act.

Don't believe him.

He's an actor.

Don't believe the actor.

"This drug is stronger then anything else I've ever tried. You know, all that other crap is nothing compared to you."

Oh...

My eyes widened. "What?"

Edward chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, scowling and smiling confusedly at him. "You're crazy. I'm not a drug."

"Then how come I'm addicted to you?" he asked while looking down at me.

I had no other comeback.

A/N: Are we finally getting somewhere? Since Bella's time is up.

There's something I want to know! If you are reading Mistreated as well, did you read first this story or first Good at it (since I updated both at the same time)? I did that on purpose, so let me know!