#35 Hold my hand
What happened…?
I hurt… all over… my skin… so sore…
I can't see…
Bandages?
Oh… she figured it out, stopped the final part of the mystery…
Damn her…
How dare she solve it? Even with his help? How dare she solve the puzzle that was meant specifically for him?
"Don't try and move."
I know that voice. It's been years since I heard it though.
"Approximately 70 percent of your body is covered in third degree burns." It says calmly. "Your hair was burnt off."
I feel so broken.
I can't even look like him anymore…
How can I be who I am if I can't be L?
"Does it hurt very badly?"
I can't move my lips. He must know that, surely.
"Sorry, that was inconsiderate and stupid, of course it hurts, and you are incapable of replying."
L…
God, I missed you.
"You're going to spend the rest of your life in jail." He sighs. "BB, why? You could have done wonderful things with your mind. You're incredibly intelligent."
I whine. "Not… nuff."
I almost hear him smile. "You were always intelligent enoughBb. Completely barking crazy as well, but that doesn't mean you're not intelligent."
A gentle hand on my head, on top of the bandages. A fingertip slips underneath the cloth just a little bit and I can feel that cool, familiar skin on my damaged nerves.
If I try, I can smell his unique scent too, over the bleach of hospital floors and I.V. fluid.
Strawberries and sugar. Cotton and denim. He's eaten something with butterscotch in it recently.
"BB…" He whispers. "…I feel I ought to congratulate you. The puzzle was extremely clever, I doubted I would solve it at times. Very well done."
…He's flattering me, I know.
But in this state, all I can do is take the compliment.
Take it and feel tears try to force out of the eyes that are so, so sore and painful that the salt burns.
I hate this. I hate it.
I hate that he can do this to me.
I never ever submit to anyone.
Except L.
I manage to make what's left of my hand twitch.
He blinks, then sighs, "Poor Beyond."
And he holds my hand.