Update Time!
Sorry if you have been waiting lovely reader! I have been very busy over the last couple of months. We have moved house and adopted a beautiful gorgeous puppy! I am feeling sooo zen now that all the boxes are unpacked and the little one is in a routine.
Time to get back to my writing! Woohoo!
Chapter Thirty-Six:
I remember falling asleep that Saturday night quite difficult. I found myself thinking about how Edward had overcome a lot of adversity in his life. Granted we had different perspectives on how he should channel some clearly pent-up anger and self-image issues, besides the fact that he had mother issues… But it was somewhat impressive that he had managed to be as normal as he was. Well, 'normal' in the context that he was a celebrity and that they were renown to be very unstable. And not a lot of British gentry had the best mental stability. Or actors – even before they became famous. I spent quite a lot of time coming to the realisation that it was impressive that Edward had a shred of common sense or recognition of normalcy at all. A nagging part of my brain pointed out that I had been worrying over my employer until two in the morning.
"I'm just concerned over the emotional state of Mr Rochester… So I can do the best job I can in supporting him and Adele. Because I am a good employee," I debated to myself in bed. The nagging part of my brain told me that that was a pretty weak excuse to obsess over one guy so intently. "I'm allowed to be concerned about his well-being," I argued back. "He is the father of the little girl I care about. And we are friends as well aren't we? I would be a horrible person to not take an interest in a friend." I felt satisfied that I had convinced myself that his new found curiosity and attentiveness in Edward was nothing more but a platonic, amicable friendship and let sleep overtake me.
That Sunday morning was uncommonly cool. We were now in the midst autumn and the chill in the air let us know that we would soon have to prepare ourselves for the onslaught of winter. I looked at the time and saw that I had slept in than I usually would. This became very evident when I came downstairs and saw Alex preparing tea. "Good morning!" I greeted. When Alex didn't say it back, I knew something was wrong. "Don't look at me like that darling – You'll make extra wrinkles for yourself," Alex joshed at my expense. Even though my friend was joking about, I could tell that something was on his mind. He gestured to the seat next to him – which made my growing anxiety worsen. "Sit down next to me and I have to let you in on a little secret… It's about Edward you see…"
Alex, carefully, put in plain words that he expected Edward to leave within the week. Apparently, our employer never stayed at Thornfield Hall more than a fortnight since he went off to boarding school – and since he had been here for sixteen days, Alex expected Edward to depart any day now. Our boss typically didn't like the winter weather and would jet off somewhere else for months at a time. Alex went on to explain that he might need to leave to go with him if he wanted to go back to his other house in the U.S. My face must have shown my shock at this news, and Alex immediately assured me that he was mostly based in Thornfield Hall, so any trip he took would be short.
Just when I was recovering from all this news, Alex let me know the biggest implication to Edward leaving. One of my responsibilities would be consoling Adele when she realised that her uncle wouldn't be staying with us. Alex patted me on the hand as he told me to mentally and emotionally prepare Adele as he expected Edward to leave soon and not return for a few months - or even perhaps a year. My companion at the kitchen table started describing all the locations that Edward visited and how long he was typically away from. While most of it blurred together, the logical side of my brain realised that Alex's calculations were true. Between filming commitments, red carpet and celebrity appearances, as well as publicity events, Edward hadn't visited Thornfield in the last eleven months. He had also missed every Christmas that Adele had arrived at the grand house.
The emotional part of me though was a muddle. As Alex continued with the reasons why our employer wasn't at his own house, my heart continued to sink. I couldn't understand why anyone who had their own house, their own family, would choose to spend so much time overseas. And then I thought of Adele… that precious little girl having to celebrate Christmas in this big house without any family either.
Diary, you know that I'm rather sensitive. I worked myself in such a state that I needed to moment to myself. I excused myself from the table, saying that I was going to wake Adele up. I walked rather slowly to her room, trying to draw in extra deep breaths so that my heart rate would slow. All too quickly, I found myself at the little girl's door. When I saw her little sleeping frame in her Disney sheets, I couldn't help but curl myself around her and draw her into a snuggle. I had flashbacks to my own childhood – the bottomless sense of loneliness. Without family or Christmases or affection. I realised then that I saw so much of myself in Adele – and how much I wanted her to have a childhood full of laughs and fold memories.
Diary – I had no idea back then how I was going to handle this situation. I had so much going through my mind. I remember that I tried to distance myself away from Edward… but I failed terribly at it.