I spent the night wandering the ship. Well, I say night, but time doesn't work in space. Whatever, it felt like a night. It was, at least, a couple of hours of just aimless walking like I had done when I first got onto this ship. What a ride it's already been, huh?

I won't lie when I say I was rather… Frustrated. I kept kicking things that were on the floor whenever I found them. Things haven't really gone my way, or any semblance of my way. I originally thought, 'Hey, Korak sounds like a swell fellow!' and then what happened? It turned out to be an extremely scary, sadistic, and careless monster that killed whatever it wanted, when it wanted, how it wanted.

But maybe that's not so bad, right? Wrong. I get a friend who I kind of trust, and this friend really likes and supports me. But, nope! I'm not allowed to have the nice things, am I? I don't even know why we can't have the nice things. Killed by the race that I despise. Oh trust me, I dislike a few of the races in Warhammer, but a staple throughout the fantasy world is my hatred of elves.

Then what the fuck happens, huh? I get to live with one. Fantastic, am I right?

I kicked an empty can to the side of a hallway. I've been up for several hours without sleep of any kind. I know this was normal and expected of me in the guard, but I don't think it's ever gotten this bad. I felt like falling over, and my limbs served only to weigh me down. I haven't exactly been sleep deprived too much before, anyways.

Now, I won't say I'm irresponsible and choose a rather precarious place to fall asleep. No, I am far better than a guy who falls asleep in the middle of a hallway. I made sure to move off to the side and then collapsed onto the floor. I think I hit my head though.

I woke up with a splitting headache in a very strange place. It's not every day I wake up in the middle of a corridor. Actually, it was more like the side of the corridor. I got up, albeit slowly, and seriously wondered just where the fuck I was. Normally, I remember things halfway decently, but I just can't recall why I'd be in this corridor.

Whatever. I looked around for people, but seeing none, I kept going down the halls, following bends occasionally. I eventually found a guy who knew the way to C3. I somehow fell asleep on an entirely different level of the ship, G8.

Now to make things short, it was a long ass trek back to my section. Also, why do people use the word ass to make something seem more major? Long ass, hard ass, stupid ass, I don't get it. I like my fair share of ass, but that's just ridiculous.

Back on track, I was before my door. The stupid elf better not be in my room at this hour. It'd be incredibly inconvenient for me, to put it simply. I opened the door, and lo and behold, the room was all to myself. Thank god.

I looked to the desk, which had a piece of paper that was written on. Or drawn on. When I moved closer to confirm which of those it was, I saw an amazing graphite drawing. I dipped down closer to get a better look. What I saw was some guy I didn't recognize with a melta gun, holding it aggressively.

One of his hands was very robotic looking.

I moved myself up from the drawing. It was weird, and I felt strange looking at it. Like, it was really good, but uh… I dunno, a guy with a meltagun? Come on, you can do way better than that. The only art with a melta gun in it is the rule book with pictures of weapons. Honestly, nobody cares for the things, not even me.

I took off my holster that had Clare's laspistol and threw it onto the bed. No need to be armed at the moment, right? Unless another thing wants to attack the ship. It'd be just my luck.

Speaking of things that would ruin my day, the door opened to the sight of the eldar. "You're back," she carelessly noted.

"Happy to see me?"

"No, I just needed my helmet." She then took her helmet then left.

Well that was quick and painless. Sleep, here we come.

It was at that point I remembered that I didn't need to sleep. So I opted to take the laspistol and headed off down the halls again. You ever get that feeling when you enter a room then realize you didn't know what you were gonna do? Yeah, that happened to me.

So what's the first thing I do? That's right, I go to the closest bar to go have a good time. It's been a couple of days since my last drink. Or maybe it was a couple months ago. Whatever, I haven't had a drink in forever.

Once I arrive in the designated bar room, I saw just who the bartender was: a large green gorilla-like big toothed ork with a massive grin. Oh fantastic. Either he lets every fight go on, stops every fight single handedly, or joins every fight.

When I pull up, he immediately notices me and stops doing that thing every bartender does, which was needlessly cleaning a glass for way too long with a rag. He comes over to me, and is the first to speak. "'aven't seen you around 'ere. You'z givin' me real weird vibes."

I slammed my arm down on the table. "Give me da strongest grog ya got," I said in my orky accent.

The bartender laughed right in my face for a solid seven seconds. I counted. "Now I getz it! You'z is da orkiest zoggin' 'umie eva dat I've been hearin' about." He then moved for perhaps the largest bottle in a little rack of disgusting bottles, grabbed it, then put it right in front of me. "Dis un'z on da 'ouse."

Now something peculiar caught my interest immediately. "Wait, orkiest 'umie? And just wot is dis stuff!?"

"You'd 'ave to be stoopid not to 'ave 'eard of Kaptin Swagloota's claims recently. 'e sayz there'z some 'umie who calls 'imself Kaptin Jokah. Dey 'ate each otha, so 'e sayz. 'ow would I know, though? Neva met 'em." Ah ha! Bar gossip. Lovely. "Oh, and dat'z fightin' juice. Real good stuff, Jokah."

"I neva told ya my name, ya daft git!" His smile was even greater. "But yeah, I'm da Kaptin Jokah." The ork started laughing again.

The humans at the table looked mortified. Well, except for this blonde chick in dark armor, but- wait a fucking second. She started to get up, an interested look on her face. Now, I swear I've seen that body before.

"So… Captain Joker, huh?"

"Yeah? What's it to you?"

"Quite a powerful title," she practically purred, edging closer to me. Now I know where I've seen this chick. She was that chick who got decked by Clare. She deserved it. "I wonder where your friend is. Wouldn't want you to get stolen."

"The fuck are you on about?" I knew full well what she was on about.

"Well, we've got a decent looking guy who just so happens to be a 'captain' alone at a bar. That bitch with half a head of hair would be horrified to learn that captain's jumped ship…" She was officially laying her hands on my shoulders.

"She's dead," I commented, moving my hand towards the bottle. This bitch goes too far, this bottle is crushing her face.

"Oh really?" she asked, surprised. "Well, ain't that a shame. Are you not doing anything right now?"

"No?" I replied. I think she was drunk.

"Wanna start doing something?" she asked, slightly falling onto my back. While this would be nice, she's in really hard armor, which is sort of a turn off in reality. Now, bear in mind, I do appreciate a woman in armor. That's hella hot. But when you actually consider it, it really isn't that great.

"Let me think about it," I said, taking the bottle in my hand. I was ready to bash the chick, but… Well, I wouldn't want to waste this 'fighting juice'. I dipped the cap into my mouth, and suddenly a rush of heat sprung in my mouth. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Too spicy, too hot.

It was so fucking hot, my vision actually started turning red. Well, it was too yellow to be red. I guess it was orange. Either way, god damn, my mouth burned. For some odd reason, it was a nice enough taste. It was interesting.

So, since it was nice enough, I chugged that shit down. Once I was done, I slammed that bottle down to let the ork know I appreciated it. "Hell yeah!" I roared to let everyone know I was having a good time.

"I'll take that as a-"

"Fuck you!" I yelled in retaliation. There was some dumb bitch holding on to me. I brought my head forward, then whipped it back. I felt a bit of pressure and heard a loud crack, but all round, pretty good! I got up from my seat, and turned to the person that assaulted me.

Yeah, this bitch wanted to die. She tried to choke me out! "You'z wanted to kill me!" I accused, rightly so.

"What?! No!" she spat back in complete disgust. Wow, how violently she refuses to be guilty. She obviously did it, why fight it? Just more of a reason to break her stupid face, I guess.

"WAAAGH!" I boomed, running headfirst at the chick. I was ready to football tackle my foe down to the ground. That was the plan. Well, actually, here's a better plan! Here's the new plan: I beat her to a pulp. If I die, I didn't follow the plan, so it's my fault.

The problem was that the chick actually grabbed me and threw me to the side. I heard a thud as I hit a wall. How did I not see that wall there? It's real big! I gotta get my eyes checked after this. Now, my anger wasn't directed at the wall. Oh no, it was the person who threw me into it.

I looked at my opponent, who was running at me, looking to be in some sort of combat stance. What is she, a soldier? I'm a big soldier! I got me a robo arm, so I'm obviously gonna win here. Speaking of winning, hasn't that been what I've been doing? I'm pretty good at it, huh. Maybe I'm real good at it, the best even

I moved closer to the opponent of mine, who started lifting her leg, presumably to kick me. Of course, that won't work. I rushed at her, launching myself at her. I grabbed her armor and had a decent grip when I felt something push my side. We both tumbled down to the ground subsequently.

"What is wrong with you?!"

I didn't acknowledge such a stupid question. Nothing was wrong with me. Just for asking that, I smashed my fist into her face. In fact, I don't think she got the point, so I got my other fist to try and tell her.

She stopped my fist mid-speech, and hit my face. Or did she? I barely felt a thing, maybe it was just a fly. My head immediately went back as pressure and a small bit of pain blasted my face. Hey, that's not cool!

I looked down, but was met by a floor. I looked back up just in time to see a leg collide with my head. I rolled off to the side, but only because I chose to. I also chose to replace the orange haze with complete darkness. It's going to stay as long as I want!

I had a terrible pain in my noggin once again, and I had no idea why. Did I fall asleep in the hall again? I looked around, and could only see my room. I was on my bed, and it was quite comfy. Didn't help the fact I was in quite the bit of pain. Fuck, did I smash my head with a hammer something? Is that why they call it getting hammered? It makes so much sense now.

"So, did you make any friends?" a feminine voice said.

"I guess, dude. Fuck, you know what happened last night?"

"No. All I know is somebody dragged you in here and you're taking up the bed." What, are you my room mate?

"It's my bed," I claimed.

"It's also mine, as little as I need rest."

I got a great joke "Dang, can you go all night?"

"Yes. Multiple nights in a row, actually."

"Dude, that's hardcore," I murmured. I then asked the voice, "Hey, where are you?"

"The desk." I moved my head towards that general direction, and I could see the eldar in armor, minus helmet. My head immediately went back to the pillow.

"God damn it."

"You missed my ceremony."

"Good!" I spat.

"There was food."

"Fuck!" Damn it, it's always the places you think you'd hate that you love. Also, ow, I shouldn't shout. The eldar giggled at that.

"You'll have to tell me exactly what that means one day."

"Ask somebody else," I groaned.

"Nobody else uses that word. There are only very ancient records of it, and I do not know its definition."

"What are you, a fucking nerd?" Big talk from me, I know. But hey, I liked the spiky marine boys, so I'm cool. I also liked the super scary warp daemons, so I'm obviously cool.

"No, I just know more than you do." Like hell you do. In fact…

"How many companies are in a Space Marine chapter?"

"Ten."

"Who was the guy who stood up to Horus when he was about to serve the Emperor?"

Her silence answered that for me. "What?"

"Exactly! I know more than you do."

"Is that so? Do you know the main form of war transport for my people?" Please, I've played enough games to know. Cheese serpents, with their absurd shit. Honestly, have you tried to kill those things? Fucking impossible without like eight meltaguns.

That said, they do make for a great innuendo. "Hey, baby, wanna ride the wave serpent?"

She scoffed, "Did you just say that?"

"What, you got a problem?"

"You do if you think you got a chance, mon'keigh."

What the fuck was I doing? Maybe I have some serious brain damage. Also, I'm still getting a hell of a migraine. "Hey, I'm going to ignore you and sleep for the next several hours, kay?"

"What, done talking already?"

"Hell yeah," I said rather unenthusiastically. Time to snooze off a concussion.