Chapter 37 - Goodbyes

They woke up the next morning, and Hitori inwardly cursed at herself. She had so much that she still needed to do but it was past 9am already. She slowly sat up and realised that Itachi was already awake, judging by how alert he appeared when she looked over her shoulder at him.

"How long have you been up for?" she asked quietly, voice raspy from sleep.

"A while." he replied evenly, but seemed more awake than she did. "When do you need to leave?"

She twiddled her thumbs in her lap, and stared at them for a moment before she finally built up the courage to speak.

"As soon as possible. You got the notification yesterday, didn't you?"

"How long?" he answered, even softer than his normal voice. She knew that was his way of keeping a lid on strong emotions that he was trying to control.

"I'm going to Kiri to train field medics. The program is 2 years long." She didn't bother hiding her hesitation and cautiousness in her voice.

"2 years?" He took a breath in and out before he nodded calmly. Hitori could tell he was holding it in, and wanted him to tell her how he felt, but didn't want to force it. He would say whatever he felt comfortable saying. She had learnt that a long time ago, and slowly he had become more open since they'd met.

"Hopefully I'll get through the program quickly, and I can come back earlier. But there's no guarantees. The Mizukage requested that I stay for 2 years though." Her voice was low and quiet, almost a whisper.

"The Mizukage asked for you?" Itachi asked with a hint of confusion.

"Yeah, do you remember my mission report from ages ago where we came across injured Kiri ninja on our way home?" He nodded after a moment. "Well, she requested for 'the female medic who saved their lives' to come and teach her field medics." She made air quote marks with her fingers and watched as Itachi smirked over her referencing what the Mizukage had said.

"One of your random outbursts got you noticed then?"

She burst into giggles at his comment, the mood lightened significantly. It was good that he was being so good about it all so far, even making jokes too. They both shared the laugh together, but Hitori felt a wave of sadness, knowing that it was going to be the last time they got to do this for what may end up being 2 full years. Sure, they would write to each other and they would keep in touch, but it wasn't the same. She would roll over in the morning in her bed at the fancy diplomat building in Kiri and find herself alone. Every night, she would come home from a long day of teaching to an empty apartment, and eat her dinner alone. She would lay around in her free time, and read a book, all alone.

Itachi noticed her change in mood and moved to sit behind her, his legs on either side of her, and then slowly leaned her back into his chest, placing his arms around her. He knew her well enough to figure out that she wasn't feeling great, but she knew that they had come to a point that she needed to make it clear what her thoughts were.

"Itachi…" She could feel her momentum and mental preparation for this moment crumbling, but forced herself to continue. "I'm sorry that I have to go, and I understand if...if you don't wait for me." She held her emotions in as best she could, even when she felt Itachi flinch rather violently at her words.

"Hitori." She held up a hand to stop her from talking, but she ignored him.

"Two years is a long time. I have no guarantee that I'll be able to have a break to come and visit, and I know that I'll be busy. Although we can write and keep in touch, it doesn't mean it won't be hard." She actually became more confident as she spoke, but tried not to let on in case that discouraged him.

"Hitori. I know I'm not exactly experienced with these things, and I know it will be hard. But I have no problem waiting for you. I…" He took a breath to steady himself before he kept going. "I know that I won't find anyone who is half the woman you are."

She was glad that he couldn't see her expression from their position, until she took a moment to breathe before she turned her body slightly so she could look at him. His expression was open and vulnerable, and it made her heart thud so hard in chest, she figured it might explode. She was certain that he was 100% genuine in his words, and trusted him implicitly.

"Thank you." She smiled and looked over at the clock to see if read 9.52AM. She didn't want to, but she had to leave to get herself packed, see the landlord and pick up a supply pack from the hospital as well. She wanted to leave before dark as well. She estimated that if she left in the early afternoon, she would arrive in the early evening to Kiri. She had heard rumours of how far it had come from the terrifying days of the 'Blood Mist Village', and hoped that they were right.

"Do you need to go?" he asked softly, sounding sadder than she expected him to. Her heart constricted so tightly within her chest that she wouldn't have been surprised if it's stopped beating.

"Yeah, I've gotta pack up my stuff. The people from the orphanage will be taking my furniture, but if there's anything you want, help yourself. You should probably take the lounge. I'm surprised yours is still in one piece."

They both looked out of the open bedroom door at the sad and ancient single seater in the corner of the small living area. It was so old that the leather was a completely different colour in different spots. He didn't even know what colour it started off as. A laugh escaped them both before Hitori moved to get up, Itachi followed behind her like a lost puppy until they reached his front door. He watched her quietly as she awkwardly slid her shoes on.

"I have to go to HQ today, so I must say goodbye to you here." Itachi broke the silence, for which Hitori was thankful.

She turned and faced him with the brightest smile she could muster. He raised a critical eyebrow since he knew she was forcing it, but smiled back anyway; his own just as forced. He extended his arms, and she stepped into them, and wrapped her own around his middle as tightly as she dared. For at least a minute, they just stood there, holding each other and it surprised her, but Hitori pulled back first. She looked up at him before she stepped back, and Itachi's body instinctively followed her forward before his mind caught up and righted himself. His expression was very calm, despite the situation, and she knew that he was doing that for her sake. Not even his eyes held a hint of what he was feeling, and she only just minutely registered that his eyes had begun to swirl with red, burning the moment in his mind permanently.

"I'll write as soon as I arrive safely, okay?" she spoke cheerily, trying not to leave on a sad note.

"I'll be waiting." He replied, and she got the feeling that it was referring to their conversation earlier, not just this moment. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, lingering for a moment before he pulled back.

She smiled a real smile and turned to leave, shutting the door behind her. Once she left, she headed straight to the hospital and into Sakura's office, holding it together the entire time. Her friend's eyes were wide as saucers when she barged in and shut the office door behind her and began to cry.

"What the fuck Hitori?!" Sakura exclaimed loudly, concerned and confused in equal portion.

"I said goodbye to Itachi. It was so hard...I-I never realised…" she said between sobbing and Sakura's expression and demeanour immediately changed. Her own eyes went glassy with unshed tears, as she understood well how Hitori felt right now.

She came around and hugged her friend who cried quietly in her shoulder for a minute before she took some breaths and began to calm down. They sat down and Hitori blubbered about what happened.

"I stayed at his place last night, and even though I knew he'd already received the notice removing me from active duty, I still didn't have the courage to talk to him about it. When we woke up this morning he asked when I had to leave and we talked a bit about the mission and how long I would be away for. I told him that I didn't expect him to wait for me, but he told me he would. How could anyone think the man to be heartless?" Hitori stared at her hands in her lap as she spoke.

"He may have pretended to be, but he's a good man despite the reputation he gained trying to save our village." Sakura replied wisely, understanding very well the circumstances surrounding all that happened.

"This is exactly the reason I never bothered pursuing anything romantic. This shit hurts." Hitori dried her tear tracks and stared at the office ceiling, cursing the powers that be.

"Don't I know it." Sakura said with a knowing huff and Hitori stared at her for a moment.

Sakura knew better than anyone the pain that caring for someone could cause. She had tried so hard all those years ago to help Sasuke and stop him from going astray, but her efforts had been in vain. It had been a long saga, things had worked out in the end and Hitori wondered if she regretted anything. She knew that although Sakura still deeply cared for Sasuke, was it tainted with painful memories?

"Sakura. Do you regret everything that happened with Sasuke? And do you still feel pain or upset over it?" Hitori asked hesitantly, hoping she wouldn't upset her friend in the process of her questioning.

"Some days were and are worse than others. I don't regret anything, mostly because I doubt that no matter what I did, even if I could go back and change it, it wouldn't have helped. I think that everything would have played out the exact same way... It still hurts sometimes, but a lot of things from the past are painful. That's how we learn and grow, from the past and mistakes we've made. Scarcely much point in dwelling on it." She replied and then shrugged lazily. Hitori was momentarily surprised by Sakura's profundity and nodded after a deep breath.

"That makes sense. I hope that Itachi is okay while I'm gone. Make sure you drag him out for social gatherings sometimes. If he is allowed to, he will hide away in his apartment and read an entire library's worth of books. If he didn't work at HQ, he probably would forget how to talk to another human being." She chuckled softly and Sakura smiled.

"It'll be okay. Itachi is the last thing you've got to worry about. I'll keep his check ups consistent and update you on anything. I'll make sure he stocks up his migraine meds too." Sakura tried his best to comfort her friend.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate it." Hitori replied as gratefully as she could.

"Ah, your pack. I almost forgot." Sakura moved around to the other side of her desk and pulled a small backpack out and handed it to Hitori, who stood up. Sakura put the bag on the chair and stepped closer to her friend, her arms extended.

"You're the best. I'll miss you." They hugged tightly, for the last time in 2 years.

When they pulled back, both girls were glassy-eyed once more. Hitori bit back the tears since she had done enough crying for today. She picked up the backpack and slung it over her shoulder lazily. Sakura was mentally stronger than she appeared, after all she'd been through, and didn't let her own tears fall either. They would be in contact frequently anyway, so it wouldn't be so bad.

"I'll write when I've arrived safely." Sakura waved as Hitori walked out and shut the door behind her.

Hitori headed back to her place, as she mulled over what Sakura had said. She was right; our pasts all have pain in them, but it's how we learn from it and shape ourselves afterwards that counts. She stared at the sky, scuffing her feet as she walked, lost in her thoughts. Itachi had sacrificed so much and it made sense that he would want to wait for her, not wanting to lose anything or anyone else. Knowing that the bond between them was special enough to make him feel that way warmed her heart, and she was glad to know that he valued and cared about her enough to feel like that. Once she reached the door to her building, she snapped herself out of her reverie and went straight to her landlord's apartment on the bottom floor. After knocking, she waited patiently and gave a forced half smile when the door opened.

"What?" She asked in her usual short, and clipped fashion.

"Charming as always. I'll be vacating the apartment today. Someone will be collecting my furniture shortly and they'll return the key to you." Hitori informed matter-of-factly.

"You're leaving?" Mizuho replied with a calm tone.

"Long term mission." She nodded in answer.

"Oh, okay. Well, if I have an apartment free when you get back, it's yours." Her expression changed, and her kindness was somewhat out of character, but Hitori appreciated it. She probably didn't expect her to come back at all, but it was still nice of her.

"Thank you." Her smile was real this time.

She headed back upstairs and finished her packing. Itachi was already at HQ, since his place was empty and she carried over a stack of kitchen items for him to have. All of her appliances, her cutlery, bowls and plates and most of her food. The only things she took for herself, was a few personal items, such as her tea and teapot, her favourite set of chopsticks, a small bag of rice and some instant noodle packets. It only took her about an hour to tidy up everything else and she lugged her lounge over to Itachi's place too. He probably wouldn't have done it himself, since he would prefer it to go to the orphanage. He would be appreciative later though. She put all of her clothes, toiletries, shoes, weapons and other bits and pieces in a few storage scrolls. Although she wasn't expecting trouble, she still armed herself in a more relaxed manner than she would if she had a combat mission. Kunai strapped to each thigh, shuriken in her pouch, and her ANBU ninjato on her back. Since she was going quite far away, she knew that she would feel more comfortable with her ninjato close at hand. She adjusted her clothing until she was comfortable and nodded to no one when she was happy. Her backpack was full and ready to go, and she did a last minute once over before she took a last look and left.

Swinging by the markets, she grabbed something to eat and packed a few onigiri in her pack and some fruit to get her through the rest of the trip. It would take her roughly 4 days to get to Kiri, especially since it was her first time and she wasn't familiar with the route. She hoped that she would get a day or two to rest when she arrived, as she planned to push herself a bit to get there quickly. It would gradually get more humid on her way there, so she wanted to try and find a place to stay overnight that had a laundry she could use. She hoped to be somewhat presentable when she met the Mizukage. She had heard that the Mizukage was a beautiful woman, and expected that she would feel self-conscious in her presence. Even though she would be living in Kiri for two whole years, she expected that it would take her a long time to feel comfortable. Not only that, but she hoped that her hosts were good and she would be okay. It took her weeks to settle into her apartment in Konoha and she would have to start that whole process again and once more when she got back. That was a future Hitori problem though.

Once she had eaten, she took a breath and headed out the village gates, starting her journey to Kiri…