This chapter is for Lanfear, simply for being a kindred spirit. No further
explanation needed.
~~~~~
As Shalimar moved to give Emma's shoulder a good shake in attempt to snap her out of her trance, Jesse quickly stopped her. "I think we're frightening her."
"We don't have time for this. I say either I toss her over my shoulder or we drag her out of here, but we need to get moving right about now," Shalimar said while staring at her friend who seemed to be a million miles away, completely lost in her own thoughts. "What's wrong with her anyway?"
Resting his hand on her arm, Jesse pulled Shalimar back away from Emma so that they could talk. "I think she's in shock."
"From what?" Shalimar tossed her hair over her shoulder as she turned back to face Emma once more. Other than a couple faint bruises, there wasn't a mark on her.
Jesse looked down at the floor and took a deep breath, shuddering as he breathed out. It all made sense now. "She was there when they killed Brennan," he said slowly. Her governor obviously wasn't active or she couldn't have contacted him and Adam. Which meant she wasn't necessarily the one who was injured, at least not physically. What was to say she hadn't gotten a hit off Brennan as well? "She felt everything."
Shalimar looked about to say something in reply, but then she merely remained silent. She was now concerned about both Emma and Jesse. He seemed a bit pale, and something about the way Jesse had just said that made her feel like he'd witnessed it as well.
However, they still needed to get Emma home. "Let's get her out of here," she suggested, taking a step forward. As she did so, a wall of fire suddenly surged into existence, dividing the room in half.
"It's not real," Jesse offered quickly, trying to calm Shalimar who'd suddenly jumped back away from the flames. However, real or not, he knew it would pose a daunting obstacle for the Feral. They'd need to cross it in order to reach Emma.
Leaving Shalimar's side, Jesse tried to mentally prepare himself. The fire was only in his mind. After taking several breaths to even his breathing, he walked up to the barrier, feeling the heat. "There is no spoon," he mumbled before sucking in another breath and then holding it while ghosting and stepping directly into the fire.
For something that wasn't there, it still burned as though it were real. By the time Jesse was through it, he practically collapsed. Shalimar could only watch, frightened and unable to summon the strength of will required to follow.
Emma pulled her knees to her chest and starting rocking herself while chanting a chorus of, "Go away, leave us alone, go away, go away..."
"Emma..." Jesse tried to soothe her, fighting against the onslaught of pain that reared up inside his mind. Before he knew it, he'd gone down to his knees.
"Leave us alone." Emma's tone was firm. Not recognizing the presence as being Jesse, she threw every horror she could conjure at him, assailing his mind with all her strength.
Shalimar shrieked as Jesse fell completely to the floor on the other side of the flames. "Emma, stop it!" she shouted, wanting to rush to Jesse's side but still not able to compete with her fear of the fire.
Jesse now lay motionless, and Shalimar started to panic. Whatever Emma was doing to him, she was still broadcasting it. "Emma, look at me! We're your friends, we want to help you." She stared beseechingly through the barricade at her distressed friend. "You just hurt Jesse."
Emma couldn't stop herself from crying. "Leave us alone..."
"Us?" Jesse repeated, struggling to keep from blacking out. Was there actually a chance Brennan was still alive? Or was Emma fully immersed in a post-traumatic state?
"Go. Away." With that, the fire dropped, Emma too weak and confused to hold it. Why did her captors care about Bren?
As the flames went down, Shalimar sprinted to her friends' sides. "Emma, it's me, Shal. Jesse and I are going to get you out of here, okay?" She wanted to comfort her, but also feared crowding her and scaring her again, so she bent over Jesse instead. "You need to undo whatever you put in his head. Emma, please..."
She finally looked up at them. Then Jesse felt the pain rush out of his body, although his breathing was still shaky. It took him a minute to get up.
Emma merely clutched her head again once they were all standing. "It hurts."
"I know. But we're here with you now. We've got you." Jesse was surprisingly quick to offer support considering what she'd just done to him. "Where are you hurt?"
She shook her head. "It's not me..."
-----
He heard the footfalls before he was ready. Somebody had entered the lab and was approaching him, but Brennan was still busy trying to lock the outside out. He no longer wished to see, hear, or feel it. Yet he needed more time; his senses weren't entirely numb yet.
He hated Emma for what she was doing to him. He needed her to hold the madness at bay, and for that he was grateful, yet it wasn't worth the cost of her constantly forcing him to confront reality. If she would only let him go, he'd be lost forever, and he could accept that. Because unlike her, he didn't believe there was still a chance that he could survive this. He no longer wanted to survive it.
When Adam found him, Brennan was lying still, but clearly in great pain. His eyes were tightly closed, and Adam touched his face. He let his head roll to the side but otherwise didn't respond.
"Brennan, wake up," Adam encouraged him with a hushed whisper, trying to fully rouse him without drawing attention.
"No..." he whimpered. His mental wall wasn't complete yet. They were going to cut him, and it wasn't fair that they force him to wake. Why couldn't they just sedate him? Why did they insist upon awareness?
Quickly, Adam tried to assess Brennan's condition. "Brennan, I need you to try to get up," he ordered, wondering if it was safe to move him yet having no choice.
"Why won't you just kill me?" His voice was weak and desperate, and he didn't care. They wanted him broken. Well, he was broken. If they needed him to beg for his own death, then he would beg them. They'd stolen his pride long ago. "Please..."
Adam couldn't believe that he'd been hurt so badly that he was pleading for someone to kill him. "It's me. I'm not going to hurt you." He scanned the papers and folders that were laying on the nearby counter, searching for any notes that would tell him what Brennan was being used for.
"Adam?" The familiar voice sparked an awareness inside of Brennan. It was the voice of a man he'd once called a friend.
He stopped and took a moment to actually look at Brennan. His eyes were now open, yet he truly didn't know who was with him. Adam waved his hand in front of him and there was no response. Christ. Brennan was blind.
"Yeah, it's me," he eventually said. "Shalimar and Jesse are here as well. They'll find Emma."
Brennan nodded weakly in reply. They'd finally come to rescue Emma. He knew Adam valued her too highly to leave her in the hands of Eckhart. "You too," he mumbled. "Go get Emma. That's why you're here."
As Adam began releasing the restraints, he added, "We came for both of you." After finding some tape to wrap Brennan's wrists, he carefully slid the thin poles until they cleared the skin and Brennan's hands were free. He was stunned that Mason would have used such a terrible form of restraint. Then he saw the dried blood in Brennan's palms and was appalled further. He must have had his fists clenched so tightly that his nails had actually pierced his skin.
After stopping the bleeding, Adam tried to help Brennan sit. Brennan made no effort to do so. "I'll help you stand," Adam offered. "Lean on me."
"I can't walk," Brennan stated flatly.
Adam pulled Brennan's arm over his shoulders. "You're going to have to try."
He jerked away. "I *can't* walk," he repeated, emphasizing it strongly.
Suddenly apprehensive, Adam let him go and then picked up the folder he'd shuffled through earlier. There were x-rays inside it. Dreading what he'd see, he held one of the pages of film up toward the light. He quickly returned his gaze to Brennan who was staring blankly at nothing. "Why can't you walk?" he asked slowly, not wanting to hear the answer.
Brennan's expression remained stoic. He'd heard Adam pick up the folder. He knew he'd seen. "Why are you asking? You already know those x-rays are mine."
Holding up the next x-ray, Adam didn't want to believe it. "My god..." he murmured almost silently. He shoved the entire folder into his jacket, deciding to take it with him.
Brennan arched one eyebrow slightly, listening. Had Adam just snatched his charts? Why would he do that if he didn't care about the results of the experiment?
Realization gradually dawned on Adam that it was Brennan's pain he'd felt earlier, not Emma's. She'd been linked with them both. She'd needed him to stop this and he hadn't found them in time. "Brennan, I'm sorry."
What was he apologizing for? Brennan's mind irrationally supplied betrayal. Adam was with him now because it was Adam who was responsible for putting him here in the first place. He'd allowed this. How else could he be here? As an enemy, Eckhart's men would never have let him get this far. And this wasn't even the normal Genomex building, yet Adam had somehow known how to get here. Maybe he'd been being briefed about the testing so far. Maybe he'd been in the loop the entire time.
Maybe now he'd decided to take an active role. Brennan knew of Adam's love for science. This was like his Holy Grail. What if Adam hadn't come to rescue him? Instead he was here to take over the experiment.
When Adam touched him again, Brennan automatically lashed out against him. Eckhart was allowed to cut him and do his cruel experiments, but not Adam. Adam didn't have that right. He wouldn't let himself be hurt by his "friend." His fist made solid contact with flesh. Then his hands were caught and held firmly. Adam was repeating his name over and over, trying to get through to him, telling him not to fight.
When Adam pulled him close so that Brennan was pressed tightly to his body, he felt it. The material of his clothes separated him not from flesh but hard metal. Adam was carrying a gun.
Only the GSA carried weapons. Never Mutant X.
Stillness reigned for a moment, then Brennan threw everything he had at Adam, using any remaining strength to free his hand and make a grab for the gun. He'd wanted Eckhart, but if he could only kill one person, Adam was even better. He'd blow him away and then turn the gun and eat a bullet himself. If he got lucky, neither of them would ever wake up afterwards.
As Brennan caught the gun and pressed it up under Adam's chin, a voice inside his head yelled at him to stop. "So you're my conscience now?" he asked her, his tone somewhat sarcastic. He had his very own Jiminy Cricket.
*You can't kill him, Bren.*
Making sure to cock the gun with one hand, he kept the finger of his other on the trigger. He needed both hands on it to steady his shaking. "Why the hell not?"
*Because it's paranoia. You don't know what you're doing. Adam is our friend.*
Not sure what was going on, Adam tried to talk Brennan down, keeping his tone very calm.
"Shut up!" Brennan snapped, not listening to a single word. Emma's voice momentarily quieted as well as Adam. "Not you. I want you to keep talking so that I know where you are. I can't have you rewiring anything in there."
Adam was completely at a loss now. "Brennan, listen to me..." he said slowly.
"I won't listen to him," he argued with Emma who was telling him the same. "He's one of them! And I am not paranoid or schizophrenic," he added, knowing what they were both thinking since Emma was reading everybody and thoughts were splashing around wildly inside his head.
He couldn't take any more of this. Pushing Adam away from himself, since Emma didn't want him dead and some part of him could never hurt her, Brennan turned the gun and pressed it to his own temple. "I have to make it quiet," he explained. "And you're coming in a bit too loud and clear, so you might wanna vacate the premises when I do this, babe."
"Brennan, give me the gun," Adam said softly, sensing that Brennan was waiting for something, listening to voices that only he could hear.
His hesitation gave Emma the chance she needed to paralyze him, then her presence disappeared. And the next thing Brennan knew, Adam was taking the gun away from him. With his hands suddenly empty, he figured out what she'd just done. She froze him, and then the little bitch had hopped heads. She'd momentarily swapped over to Adam's mind and warned him, told him when to act.
*How could you?* he asked her, feeling betrayed. Then he felt her warmth again. Her answer was simply that she'd had to.
As Adam discarded the gun, Emma was shoving Brennan's mind full of thoughts of peace and serenity. Brennan despised them both. He threw Emma's tranquility right back at her, banishing the artificial calm. He had no desire to accept her meddling. He'd been ready to take his own life, and he deserved the dark thoughts that accompanied the action. He wanted silence, he wanted to scream, he wanted it all to just stop - he wanted the true solace that would only come with death and that Emma could never give him.
Adam returned and tried to comfort him, and Emma begged him to still trust her, but he didn't know what to feel. He didn't know if anything he was feeling was even real. He didn't know friend from foe. Adam had saved his life in the past, and for that alone Brennan hated him. If he'd known about the experiments, Brennan hated him. If he was here to stop them, Brennan hated him for coming too late.
And if they truly meant well, then he hated both Adam and Emma for thinking everyone could be saved. If they lost him, he'd be another strike against the glorious record of perfect saves by the noble Mutant X, and Adam was far too arrogant to allow that. He and Eckhart were locked in an ongoing game of chess, both omnipotent in directing their pieces, taking risks, and making sacrifices. They made all the hard calls. Now the game was getting serious since the generals themselves had taken to the battlefield. The Kings were shifting squares. And neither liked to lose.
At least Eckhart would eventually let him die. He had no desire to protect the pawns. Brennan wondered when Adam would realize that knocking over players didn't matter. Lose the battle, win the war. Of course Adam would make sacrifices and retreats when absolutely necessary, but never before that, never early while greater damage was preventable. In the end, it wouldn't matter. Nobody ever counted the number men left on the chessboard. All that held importance was which side called the checkmate.
Brennan was sick of it all, of the game. Screw it. Suck it up, topple his knight, say good night, and the hell if he cared. He didn't even know whose side Adam was on. There was no good and evil, no heroes and no vicious nemesis. There were only the vigilantes versus the rogue government agency. Hailing from the side of Mutant X certainly didn't make Brennan a champion. It made him a statistic when he would finally fall. Well, score this one for the GSA. Because he wanted out - he wanted to die.
So he merely struggled all the harder, breaking free of Adam and feeling blindly for anything he could use as a weapon. Hatred raged inside him. There was truth in what Eckhart had said about the worst betrayals coming from close friends, family, and lovers. To him, Adam had been both of the firsts. Yet he couldn't lie to himself and believe there'd ever been a chance of Emma being the third.
And he still wanted to either hurt the man who was closer to him than his own father, or kill himself in a way brutal enough to leave him dead. If Emma cared about him at all, she'd allow him that!
In his state of pure panic, Brennan managed to roll himself off the table and fall hard to the floor. He screamed out from the pain. Adam was quickly holding him, comforting, swearing that he wouldn't hurt him.
Exhaustion weighing heavily upon him, Brennan ceased fighting and sobbed. He was acting so foolishly. How had he allowed his faith in Adam to be destroyed? He knew he still trusted Adam enough to lay down his life for him, although at the moment that wasn't saying much. Adam was the one person in the world who he felt truly protected with.
He was just so angry. At everyone.
Brennan wondered what the hell was wrong with him, and decided that - despite Emma - the torture must have driven him insane. Despair and rage most surely shouldn't accompany each other, so perhaps it was merely madness. He wondered if Emma could truly fix him. If Adam did rescue him and take him home, would he still want to die? What would he do with freedom if the suicidal thoughts remained?
*Lie to me,* he pitifully requested once more of Emma. She could tell him yet again how it would all be fine. Adam would have his victory over Eckhart, and they'd return to Sanctuary where Brennan could curl up in his own bed, with Emma snuggled safely beside him, and he would sleep for a week. When he awoke, the drugs would be gone from his system, the time he spent incarcerated here would feel like nothing more than a bad dream, and life would be normal again instead of harsh and unjust. Everything would be as it was. Except Emma would still be at his side.
So she told him all of that was true. Then he passed out in Adam's arms.
"Adam," Shalimar's voice suddenly interrupted through his com-link. "We found Emma and are headed back to the Helix, but... She keeps spacing out, and she almost just collapsed. There's something wrong regarding Brennan."
Shifting the body in his arms, he touched his ring before replying. "I know, I'm with him."
"So he is alive?" The question carried an air of trepidation.
Adam looked down at Brennan who was still unconscious and showed no signs of stirring. He definitely wasn't well, but his breathing was steady and his pulse strong. "Yes."
"Thank God. Adam, how is he?" Jesse's voice this time.
"I don't know yet." That was the best answer Adam could offer at the moment. "I'll meet you at the Helix."
Emma spoke next, sounding a bit dazed. "Adam... he's confused right now. He doesn't..." She trailed off, sniffling. In the background he heard Jesse comforting her and assumed she was crying. "Just don't let him harm himself, okay?"
"I'll keep him safe," Adam promised. "And, Emma, thank you."
He flicked his ring once more to close the com-link, then he returned his full attention to Brennan. In his disoriented state, he could have very easily injured one of them if it hadn't been for Emma's help. Adam prayed the drastic behavior shift was due to whatever drugs Brennan had been given and wasn't a more deeply routed problem. But he'd need to wait until the group returned to Sanctuary to figure things out.
Seeing no other option for moving his passed out team member, Adam hefted Brennan's limp form over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. Getting him all the way back to the Double Helix was going to be quite a strain - he was getting too old for this - but when Adam considered Brennan's own condition, his discomfort at lifting Brennan's weight seemed rather insignificant in comparison.
-----
Emma suddenly stopped walking and pulled away from her worried friends. She rested her shoulder against the wall, feeling worn and practically numb to the constant buzzing inside her mind. She leaned her head to the wall and pressed her hands to it as well, needing the support before closing her eyes and listening. She could hear them like the rumble of an approaching train.
If they were to make it back to the Helix, she, Shalimar, and Jesse would need to leave this hallway and cross through an open section of the complex. Unprepared, they wouldn't make it past the waiting ambush alive.
Having no other choice, she opened herself fully to the hum of what felt like a thousand voices. Jesse was saying something to her, and she covered her ears. She could hear his thoughts, and she didn't need it in surround sound.
She lowered her hands. "I'm okay," she told her friends without actually knowing what words they'd spoken aloud. Their concern would drown her without the reassurance that she was fine.
Focusing, she kept her lock on Brennan and Adam, then she picked out fourteen others from the crowd. That was what they'd be facing.
She couldn't cloak herself, Jesse, and Shalimar. She was too weak from her struggles with Brennan to hold that large of an illusion against over a dozen men. She settled on an easier task and sent out the wave.
"Move," she told her two friends who'd remained stopped with her. She purposefully marched forward. "They've lost their guns; we can take them."
Jesse and Shalimar followed quickly behind her, both somewhat stunned to discover the fourteen men which blocked their path. Yet they'd gone against worse odds and won. All three of the team readied themselves for battle.
They'd be required to fight their way out, a situation that would have been much easier with Brennan's aid. His was the most active power of them all. And Eckhart had been preparing to give it to Emma if the tests had continued...
Emma closed her eyes for a moment and focused. She didn't need science to give her Brennan's gift in order for her to be able to use it. She only needed to make her enemies believe.
-----
"Stop."
Adam paused at the sound of the voice, and footsteps echoed off the floor behind him as someone approached.
"I can't allow you to take him." Jordan nervously cocked his gun. He'd been almost to DeLauro when the alarm had sounded and he'd changed his course. He wasn't certain why he'd abandoned seeking out the girl in favor of returning to check on Mulwray. Maybe he sought to prolong being forced to make his decision of whether or not he could kill her. Maybe he just wanted to be sure that if one the prisoners was rescued, it wouldn't be Brennan who was taken. "Put him down, then raise your hands over your head."
Slowly, Adam turned around. The source of the demand wasn't much more than a kid. He briefly wondered if Eckhart had started recruited people fresh out of high school. The boy couldn't have had more than a couple years of college at the most. The hand that held the gun was shaky, and the white lab coat labeled him as a doctor or a technician, not a security agent. Adam took an educated guess on doctor.
Adam sighed. He was too fresh, too young. Gambling that he wasn't also too eager to take the shot, Adam made a hasty dash to get himself and Brennan around the corner and out of the line of fire.
Anxiety more than anything made Jordan pull the trigger. His target slipped out of sight and he heard the sound of a body - or two - hitting the floor. He quickly prayed that he hadn't accidentally shot Brennan. Practicing on a shooting range was very different than taking aim at an actual person. He took a moment to collect himself.
Blood from the wound to Adam's side mixed with Brennan's where the bandaging on his wrist had been dislodged. Adam carefully touched his own injury. It was a flesh wound, not overly serious. He did a fast check on Brennan before readying himself to deal with the young doctor who'd just shot at them.
Brennan was partially conscious now, roused slightly from oblivion when he'd suddenly impacted with the floor. He didn't think there was a single place on his entire body that didn't hurt. He felt Adam rest a hand on his arm, and he stilled himself, silently waiting. The touch was soft, yet also firm, tense. Brennan translated it as a warning to not move. He cautiously listened, trying to figure out what was going on and if he even cared.
When Jordan rounded the corner, Adam swept out a leg in the hope of knocking him off his feet. He somehow managed to avoid going down, and Adam lunged for him, attempting to grab the hand which held the gun.
There was something wet and sticky on the floor, and Brennan wondered if it was his blood or Adam's. He could hear the sounds of a scuffle, which likely meant Adam was still able to fight. Then he heard something drop heavily and skid across the floor in his direction. His mind instantly identified it as a gun. The next sound he heard was something he desperately hoped wasn't the sound of Adam's head striking the wall. Whatever it was, the noise of fighting ceased.
He blinked his eyes tightly then tried frantically to see. Everything was still just a blurry haze of white. But the fact that there was a blur to see was encouraging. He prayed that it meant this was only temporary as he had no guarantees about whether repeated doses of the chemical would actually wear off.
Something inside his mind told him he was in danger - instinct or Emma, he wasn't certain.
Quickly, he began feeling for the weapon, but instead his fingers met with flesh as another hand grabbed it first. Good guy or bad? The contact lingered for a split second. Then he had his answer as whoever was in front of him suddenly tried to snatch the gun away, but Brennan held firm.
"Jordan..." It wasn't a question. He just knew. He remained still and they were close enough to feel each other's breath. Brennan pondered whether to risk continuing to talk. Common sense told him to let the gun go as a show of good faith, of friendship. If they fought for it, he couldn't win. But he could play this out; he knew Jordan would back down.
Yet he also knew that he wouldn't. Emma and his subconscious were both giving him warnings, and he didn't find it strange that he couldn't tell the two apart. Caution won out, and he kept his grip tight. "Please, Jordan, don't do this. You can come with us instead. We'll grant you asylum and protect you from Eckhart. I promise you. We'll protect you."
"I can't," came the hesitant reply.
Brennan wished he could meet Jordan's eyes, but he was also somewhat relieved that he couldn't, because his eyes might reflect too much. He stared down instead, speaking softly. "I'm not asking you to trust Mutant X. I'm asking you to have faith in me. No teams, just you and me, okay? Both of us on the same side, our own side, and we'll sort out our loyalties later."
Jordan could hardly believe he was actually considering it. Considering giving up his position with the GSA. But who had the power to judge what was right and what's wrong, to say who the good guys are and who's evil? That was something Jordan needed to decide for himself, and something inside him said that what had been done to Brennan wasn't right regardless of his criminal past. And he could never kill Emma either.
But he'd wanted to. He'd been contemplating it, trying to talk himself into it, and his physical nearness to Brennan had allowed those thoughts to pass into Emma's proximity. She was so intently focussed on him that she could read scattered traces from everybody around him.
And so she'd already warned Brennan... as ever so slowly, Jordan let go of the gun. He honestly couldn't say why he did it. There was a part of him that still believed in the research he was doing. Yet looking at Brennan, he seemed so... shattered... as if more hopeless than desperate. Science had destroyed him, all trace of his cockiness and spirit gone. He held no confidence in his request. Outlaw or not, seeing him broken like this was just... Eckhart might as well have asked him to kick a puppy.
"Okay," he said slowly, listening to some inner voice that was gently prodding him to lower his hand and back down, leaving the gun in Brennan's possession. He wasn't defecting to join the ranks of Mutant X, since Brennan never said he had to switch teams. He wasn't being forced or coerced into anything. He was merely setting Brennan free, and everything else they could work out later.
However, once the gun was solely in Brennan's hand, he didn't hesitate even a second to fire it. Jordan had allowed himself to become vulnerable, and Brennan grasped the opportunity to cease control without mercy. Several more shots followed the first in quick procession. "You would have killed her, you son of a bitch, you'd have killed her..."
In a complete state of shock and disbelief, Jordan looked at the blood that ran down his left arm from the bullet wound. The other shots had all impacted the wall at his side. He remained perfectly still, breathing shallowly, aware that Brennan could only aim based on sound and not sight. He then turned his gaze to Brennan, the fact that he'd fired hurting more than the bullet itself.
"Why..." he whispered in confusion, forgetting to be silent. Or maybe he remembered but needing an answer was more important.
He wondered if Brennan would turn on him yet again, the thought terrifying. He wondered what horrible things the DeLauro girl was whispering inside his head. Had she made him do this? His aim had been to the left, and Jordan wondered if he'd been trying for his heart.
Brennan offered no answers. He kept the gun trained on Jordan, listening to his breathing in between his own breaths that were coming deep and fast. Yet his aim was steady and sure. Jordan was the one who was trembling.
Using the momentary adrenaline rush that distracted him from the pain, Jordan surged forward with sudden anger, wrestling the gun from Brennan and then pistol whipping him across the side of his face. "I can't believe you shot me." The words didn't come out as harshly as he intended them, rather they served to make him sound small and afraid.
Brennan pressed his hands to the floor to support his weight as he spit the blood from his mouth. Jordan's blow had split open his lip. He didn't make a move to defend himself from any attack that might follow. He couldn't exactly get up and fight with his legs broken.
Seeing him helpless and in pain, Jordan felt oddly guilty, yet at same time bitterly betrayed. He figured he should have felt more upset, but there was only a deep ache. He held his left arm close to his side, trying not to move it. He had been thinking of killing the girl, and without her governor, she could have known. He wanted to strike Brennan again but held back. "Tell me that she made you do this!"
Brennan's offer had sounded so sincere, but if it were all lies, he'd hurt him back, hurt him for using him like this, and then deliver him back to Eckhart... Deliver him back into a fate less merciful than death.
He held the gun tightly as he stared into Brennan's blank eyes. Then the eyes closed and Brennan whispered an almost silent, "I'm sorry." Jordan wondered if the words were meant for him or Emma, and then Brennan sagged fully limp to the floor.
Hatred turned to automatic concern and Jordan leaned forward. Brennan's breathing was too uneven for sleep or unconscious. He'd merely collapsed. Half suspecting a trick, Jordan touched his cheek, careful to avoid where his strike would soon leave a deep bruise, and he received only a small moan. The skin under his fingers was abnormally warm.
Before Jordan could consider the situation any further, he heard a stirring behind him. Adam was coming around from the stroke of dumb luck that had allowed Jordan to knock him out.
Brennan was vaguely aware of Jordan shifting to leave his side. He had a sinking suspicion that the gun was now being pointed at Adam.
With that knowledge, he willed himself to pass out before he could witness Adam's death. And he finished building the mental barrier that shielded him completely from all external stimuli and also all emotion.
He wrapped Emma's psionic net about his box, picturing his mind in the same way as she did, and the surfaces morphed, giving him safety in its strength. He wished the walls impenetrable, and the seams vanished as his layer of protection shifted and became a perfect sphere around him, locking him in and all else out.
There would be no more pain.
-----
"NO!" Emma screamed - silently or aloud she wasn't certain - losing her grip on Brennan.
With her open eyes, she saw Shalimar and Jesse move forward without her and take on the first of the agents, beginning the fight. Thanks to her, none of them used their guns. But her friends still needed her at their side to lend aid, yet her mind was elsewhere entirely, and she stood frozen, a defenseless statue while she tried to save Brennan.
On some level, she was still receiving the impulses that informed her of what was happening around her, yet she felt torn, stretched over two places at once and hearing the thoughts of the nineteen individuals she was required to focus on all assaulting her mind simultaneously.
The fight continued on without her. Dodge, strike, attack, feint, kick, recover, move... She could see every blow and every counter before it happened. Shalimar's thoughts were on fire, wrapped in the heat of the moment, lost in the game. She was doing very well. Jesse was struggling, but holding his own.
She was having no luck at all getting through to Brennan. Mehler and Adam were just more turmoil. The fourteen agents, downed to eleven conscious, were merely a pain in the ass.
Somebody moved to strike her down, but she remained motionless, safe in the knowledge that Jesse saw him. He massed and shielded her with his own body, continuing to protect her as the fight raged on.
But then he took a hard blow that came from behind. She'd sensed it, he hadn't. He went down, sprawling roughly, not quite catching himself as he hit the floor. The tremor of pain she picked up on was far too strong.
What the hell? Jesse hissed at the stab of pain which laced through his back, biting back his cry. Was he bleeding? There was no way the hit had been that bad, yet the response from Jesse's mind made it seem like his back had practically been ripped apart. And he wasn't getting up.
Shalimar was too occupied with the swarm of men upon her to notice that Jesse had been taken out of the fight. He was barely hanging on to consciousness, struggling desperately to cling to wakefulness. Damn it, he was a sitting duck. And now so was Emma.
Influencing the other situation as much as possible, Emma reluctantly pulled back. She returned herself to where she physical stood, abandoning the minds which remained in some distant part of the building from her.
Two more men had entered, their minds clear, having not been present during Emma's psionic wave. One of them forced a still struggling Jesse to his knees, and then he held his gun to the young man's head. Emma was afraid that, since he'd still been too dazed to put up much of a fight, he wouldn't have the energy left required to phase either.
-----
TBC...
Hmm, I didn't do anything overly cruel to Shalimar this chapter, and I feel kinda bad for leaving her out. However, considering my mood lately, she's safer this way. If I put her in harm's way, I'd likely just kill her since she's fairly insignificant to the overall plot of this story. Be glad I ignore you, Shal!
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the extra long chapter. I figured I owed you one. Sadly, you should expect more delays from me, as my life has become a bad screenplay as of late. Wait, scratch that, actually it would make a rather good screenplay. It just sucks for me because I'm not a fictional character. But on the bright side, I can use my experiences for a subplot in a novel some day. Or if I don't, maybe Lanfear will! *grin*
But I can always use reviews and e-mails to cheer me up and keep me writing. Your feedback means the world to me right now - in whatever form it comes. I appreciate both the kind support and the death threats for if I stop writing. It's nice to know you care enough to still be reading after over 85,000 words.
~~~~~
As Shalimar moved to give Emma's shoulder a good shake in attempt to snap her out of her trance, Jesse quickly stopped her. "I think we're frightening her."
"We don't have time for this. I say either I toss her over my shoulder or we drag her out of here, but we need to get moving right about now," Shalimar said while staring at her friend who seemed to be a million miles away, completely lost in her own thoughts. "What's wrong with her anyway?"
Resting his hand on her arm, Jesse pulled Shalimar back away from Emma so that they could talk. "I think she's in shock."
"From what?" Shalimar tossed her hair over her shoulder as she turned back to face Emma once more. Other than a couple faint bruises, there wasn't a mark on her.
Jesse looked down at the floor and took a deep breath, shuddering as he breathed out. It all made sense now. "She was there when they killed Brennan," he said slowly. Her governor obviously wasn't active or she couldn't have contacted him and Adam. Which meant she wasn't necessarily the one who was injured, at least not physically. What was to say she hadn't gotten a hit off Brennan as well? "She felt everything."
Shalimar looked about to say something in reply, but then she merely remained silent. She was now concerned about both Emma and Jesse. He seemed a bit pale, and something about the way Jesse had just said that made her feel like he'd witnessed it as well.
However, they still needed to get Emma home. "Let's get her out of here," she suggested, taking a step forward. As she did so, a wall of fire suddenly surged into existence, dividing the room in half.
"It's not real," Jesse offered quickly, trying to calm Shalimar who'd suddenly jumped back away from the flames. However, real or not, he knew it would pose a daunting obstacle for the Feral. They'd need to cross it in order to reach Emma.
Leaving Shalimar's side, Jesse tried to mentally prepare himself. The fire was only in his mind. After taking several breaths to even his breathing, he walked up to the barrier, feeling the heat. "There is no spoon," he mumbled before sucking in another breath and then holding it while ghosting and stepping directly into the fire.
For something that wasn't there, it still burned as though it were real. By the time Jesse was through it, he practically collapsed. Shalimar could only watch, frightened and unable to summon the strength of will required to follow.
Emma pulled her knees to her chest and starting rocking herself while chanting a chorus of, "Go away, leave us alone, go away, go away..."
"Emma..." Jesse tried to soothe her, fighting against the onslaught of pain that reared up inside his mind. Before he knew it, he'd gone down to his knees.
"Leave us alone." Emma's tone was firm. Not recognizing the presence as being Jesse, she threw every horror she could conjure at him, assailing his mind with all her strength.
Shalimar shrieked as Jesse fell completely to the floor on the other side of the flames. "Emma, stop it!" she shouted, wanting to rush to Jesse's side but still not able to compete with her fear of the fire.
Jesse now lay motionless, and Shalimar started to panic. Whatever Emma was doing to him, she was still broadcasting it. "Emma, look at me! We're your friends, we want to help you." She stared beseechingly through the barricade at her distressed friend. "You just hurt Jesse."
Emma couldn't stop herself from crying. "Leave us alone..."
"Us?" Jesse repeated, struggling to keep from blacking out. Was there actually a chance Brennan was still alive? Or was Emma fully immersed in a post-traumatic state?
"Go. Away." With that, the fire dropped, Emma too weak and confused to hold it. Why did her captors care about Bren?
As the flames went down, Shalimar sprinted to her friends' sides. "Emma, it's me, Shal. Jesse and I are going to get you out of here, okay?" She wanted to comfort her, but also feared crowding her and scaring her again, so she bent over Jesse instead. "You need to undo whatever you put in his head. Emma, please..."
She finally looked up at them. Then Jesse felt the pain rush out of his body, although his breathing was still shaky. It took him a minute to get up.
Emma merely clutched her head again once they were all standing. "It hurts."
"I know. But we're here with you now. We've got you." Jesse was surprisingly quick to offer support considering what she'd just done to him. "Where are you hurt?"
She shook her head. "It's not me..."
-----
He heard the footfalls before he was ready. Somebody had entered the lab and was approaching him, but Brennan was still busy trying to lock the outside out. He no longer wished to see, hear, or feel it. Yet he needed more time; his senses weren't entirely numb yet.
He hated Emma for what she was doing to him. He needed her to hold the madness at bay, and for that he was grateful, yet it wasn't worth the cost of her constantly forcing him to confront reality. If she would only let him go, he'd be lost forever, and he could accept that. Because unlike her, he didn't believe there was still a chance that he could survive this. He no longer wanted to survive it.
When Adam found him, Brennan was lying still, but clearly in great pain. His eyes were tightly closed, and Adam touched his face. He let his head roll to the side but otherwise didn't respond.
"Brennan, wake up," Adam encouraged him with a hushed whisper, trying to fully rouse him without drawing attention.
"No..." he whimpered. His mental wall wasn't complete yet. They were going to cut him, and it wasn't fair that they force him to wake. Why couldn't they just sedate him? Why did they insist upon awareness?
Quickly, Adam tried to assess Brennan's condition. "Brennan, I need you to try to get up," he ordered, wondering if it was safe to move him yet having no choice.
"Why won't you just kill me?" His voice was weak and desperate, and he didn't care. They wanted him broken. Well, he was broken. If they needed him to beg for his own death, then he would beg them. They'd stolen his pride long ago. "Please..."
Adam couldn't believe that he'd been hurt so badly that he was pleading for someone to kill him. "It's me. I'm not going to hurt you." He scanned the papers and folders that were laying on the nearby counter, searching for any notes that would tell him what Brennan was being used for.
"Adam?" The familiar voice sparked an awareness inside of Brennan. It was the voice of a man he'd once called a friend.
He stopped and took a moment to actually look at Brennan. His eyes were now open, yet he truly didn't know who was with him. Adam waved his hand in front of him and there was no response. Christ. Brennan was blind.
"Yeah, it's me," he eventually said. "Shalimar and Jesse are here as well. They'll find Emma."
Brennan nodded weakly in reply. They'd finally come to rescue Emma. He knew Adam valued her too highly to leave her in the hands of Eckhart. "You too," he mumbled. "Go get Emma. That's why you're here."
As Adam began releasing the restraints, he added, "We came for both of you." After finding some tape to wrap Brennan's wrists, he carefully slid the thin poles until they cleared the skin and Brennan's hands were free. He was stunned that Mason would have used such a terrible form of restraint. Then he saw the dried blood in Brennan's palms and was appalled further. He must have had his fists clenched so tightly that his nails had actually pierced his skin.
After stopping the bleeding, Adam tried to help Brennan sit. Brennan made no effort to do so. "I'll help you stand," Adam offered. "Lean on me."
"I can't walk," Brennan stated flatly.
Adam pulled Brennan's arm over his shoulders. "You're going to have to try."
He jerked away. "I *can't* walk," he repeated, emphasizing it strongly.
Suddenly apprehensive, Adam let him go and then picked up the folder he'd shuffled through earlier. There were x-rays inside it. Dreading what he'd see, he held one of the pages of film up toward the light. He quickly returned his gaze to Brennan who was staring blankly at nothing. "Why can't you walk?" he asked slowly, not wanting to hear the answer.
Brennan's expression remained stoic. He'd heard Adam pick up the folder. He knew he'd seen. "Why are you asking? You already know those x-rays are mine."
Holding up the next x-ray, Adam didn't want to believe it. "My god..." he murmured almost silently. He shoved the entire folder into his jacket, deciding to take it with him.
Brennan arched one eyebrow slightly, listening. Had Adam just snatched his charts? Why would he do that if he didn't care about the results of the experiment?
Realization gradually dawned on Adam that it was Brennan's pain he'd felt earlier, not Emma's. She'd been linked with them both. She'd needed him to stop this and he hadn't found them in time. "Brennan, I'm sorry."
What was he apologizing for? Brennan's mind irrationally supplied betrayal. Adam was with him now because it was Adam who was responsible for putting him here in the first place. He'd allowed this. How else could he be here? As an enemy, Eckhart's men would never have let him get this far. And this wasn't even the normal Genomex building, yet Adam had somehow known how to get here. Maybe he'd been being briefed about the testing so far. Maybe he'd been in the loop the entire time.
Maybe now he'd decided to take an active role. Brennan knew of Adam's love for science. This was like his Holy Grail. What if Adam hadn't come to rescue him? Instead he was here to take over the experiment.
When Adam touched him again, Brennan automatically lashed out against him. Eckhart was allowed to cut him and do his cruel experiments, but not Adam. Adam didn't have that right. He wouldn't let himself be hurt by his "friend." His fist made solid contact with flesh. Then his hands were caught and held firmly. Adam was repeating his name over and over, trying to get through to him, telling him not to fight.
When Adam pulled him close so that Brennan was pressed tightly to his body, he felt it. The material of his clothes separated him not from flesh but hard metal. Adam was carrying a gun.
Only the GSA carried weapons. Never Mutant X.
Stillness reigned for a moment, then Brennan threw everything he had at Adam, using any remaining strength to free his hand and make a grab for the gun. He'd wanted Eckhart, but if he could only kill one person, Adam was even better. He'd blow him away and then turn the gun and eat a bullet himself. If he got lucky, neither of them would ever wake up afterwards.
As Brennan caught the gun and pressed it up under Adam's chin, a voice inside his head yelled at him to stop. "So you're my conscience now?" he asked her, his tone somewhat sarcastic. He had his very own Jiminy Cricket.
*You can't kill him, Bren.*
Making sure to cock the gun with one hand, he kept the finger of his other on the trigger. He needed both hands on it to steady his shaking. "Why the hell not?"
*Because it's paranoia. You don't know what you're doing. Adam is our friend.*
Not sure what was going on, Adam tried to talk Brennan down, keeping his tone very calm.
"Shut up!" Brennan snapped, not listening to a single word. Emma's voice momentarily quieted as well as Adam. "Not you. I want you to keep talking so that I know where you are. I can't have you rewiring anything in there."
Adam was completely at a loss now. "Brennan, listen to me..." he said slowly.
"I won't listen to him," he argued with Emma who was telling him the same. "He's one of them! And I am not paranoid or schizophrenic," he added, knowing what they were both thinking since Emma was reading everybody and thoughts were splashing around wildly inside his head.
He couldn't take any more of this. Pushing Adam away from himself, since Emma didn't want him dead and some part of him could never hurt her, Brennan turned the gun and pressed it to his own temple. "I have to make it quiet," he explained. "And you're coming in a bit too loud and clear, so you might wanna vacate the premises when I do this, babe."
"Brennan, give me the gun," Adam said softly, sensing that Brennan was waiting for something, listening to voices that only he could hear.
His hesitation gave Emma the chance she needed to paralyze him, then her presence disappeared. And the next thing Brennan knew, Adam was taking the gun away from him. With his hands suddenly empty, he figured out what she'd just done. She froze him, and then the little bitch had hopped heads. She'd momentarily swapped over to Adam's mind and warned him, told him when to act.
*How could you?* he asked her, feeling betrayed. Then he felt her warmth again. Her answer was simply that she'd had to.
As Adam discarded the gun, Emma was shoving Brennan's mind full of thoughts of peace and serenity. Brennan despised them both. He threw Emma's tranquility right back at her, banishing the artificial calm. He had no desire to accept her meddling. He'd been ready to take his own life, and he deserved the dark thoughts that accompanied the action. He wanted silence, he wanted to scream, he wanted it all to just stop - he wanted the true solace that would only come with death and that Emma could never give him.
Adam returned and tried to comfort him, and Emma begged him to still trust her, but he didn't know what to feel. He didn't know if anything he was feeling was even real. He didn't know friend from foe. Adam had saved his life in the past, and for that alone Brennan hated him. If he'd known about the experiments, Brennan hated him. If he was here to stop them, Brennan hated him for coming too late.
And if they truly meant well, then he hated both Adam and Emma for thinking everyone could be saved. If they lost him, he'd be another strike against the glorious record of perfect saves by the noble Mutant X, and Adam was far too arrogant to allow that. He and Eckhart were locked in an ongoing game of chess, both omnipotent in directing their pieces, taking risks, and making sacrifices. They made all the hard calls. Now the game was getting serious since the generals themselves had taken to the battlefield. The Kings were shifting squares. And neither liked to lose.
At least Eckhart would eventually let him die. He had no desire to protect the pawns. Brennan wondered when Adam would realize that knocking over players didn't matter. Lose the battle, win the war. Of course Adam would make sacrifices and retreats when absolutely necessary, but never before that, never early while greater damage was preventable. In the end, it wouldn't matter. Nobody ever counted the number men left on the chessboard. All that held importance was which side called the checkmate.
Brennan was sick of it all, of the game. Screw it. Suck it up, topple his knight, say good night, and the hell if he cared. He didn't even know whose side Adam was on. There was no good and evil, no heroes and no vicious nemesis. There were only the vigilantes versus the rogue government agency. Hailing from the side of Mutant X certainly didn't make Brennan a champion. It made him a statistic when he would finally fall. Well, score this one for the GSA. Because he wanted out - he wanted to die.
So he merely struggled all the harder, breaking free of Adam and feeling blindly for anything he could use as a weapon. Hatred raged inside him. There was truth in what Eckhart had said about the worst betrayals coming from close friends, family, and lovers. To him, Adam had been both of the firsts. Yet he couldn't lie to himself and believe there'd ever been a chance of Emma being the third.
And he still wanted to either hurt the man who was closer to him than his own father, or kill himself in a way brutal enough to leave him dead. If Emma cared about him at all, she'd allow him that!
In his state of pure panic, Brennan managed to roll himself off the table and fall hard to the floor. He screamed out from the pain. Adam was quickly holding him, comforting, swearing that he wouldn't hurt him.
Exhaustion weighing heavily upon him, Brennan ceased fighting and sobbed. He was acting so foolishly. How had he allowed his faith in Adam to be destroyed? He knew he still trusted Adam enough to lay down his life for him, although at the moment that wasn't saying much. Adam was the one person in the world who he felt truly protected with.
He was just so angry. At everyone.
Brennan wondered what the hell was wrong with him, and decided that - despite Emma - the torture must have driven him insane. Despair and rage most surely shouldn't accompany each other, so perhaps it was merely madness. He wondered if Emma could truly fix him. If Adam did rescue him and take him home, would he still want to die? What would he do with freedom if the suicidal thoughts remained?
*Lie to me,* he pitifully requested once more of Emma. She could tell him yet again how it would all be fine. Adam would have his victory over Eckhart, and they'd return to Sanctuary where Brennan could curl up in his own bed, with Emma snuggled safely beside him, and he would sleep for a week. When he awoke, the drugs would be gone from his system, the time he spent incarcerated here would feel like nothing more than a bad dream, and life would be normal again instead of harsh and unjust. Everything would be as it was. Except Emma would still be at his side.
So she told him all of that was true. Then he passed out in Adam's arms.
"Adam," Shalimar's voice suddenly interrupted through his com-link. "We found Emma and are headed back to the Helix, but... She keeps spacing out, and she almost just collapsed. There's something wrong regarding Brennan."
Shifting the body in his arms, he touched his ring before replying. "I know, I'm with him."
"So he is alive?" The question carried an air of trepidation.
Adam looked down at Brennan who was still unconscious and showed no signs of stirring. He definitely wasn't well, but his breathing was steady and his pulse strong. "Yes."
"Thank God. Adam, how is he?" Jesse's voice this time.
"I don't know yet." That was the best answer Adam could offer at the moment. "I'll meet you at the Helix."
Emma spoke next, sounding a bit dazed. "Adam... he's confused right now. He doesn't..." She trailed off, sniffling. In the background he heard Jesse comforting her and assumed she was crying. "Just don't let him harm himself, okay?"
"I'll keep him safe," Adam promised. "And, Emma, thank you."
He flicked his ring once more to close the com-link, then he returned his full attention to Brennan. In his disoriented state, he could have very easily injured one of them if it hadn't been for Emma's help. Adam prayed the drastic behavior shift was due to whatever drugs Brennan had been given and wasn't a more deeply routed problem. But he'd need to wait until the group returned to Sanctuary to figure things out.
Seeing no other option for moving his passed out team member, Adam hefted Brennan's limp form over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. Getting him all the way back to the Double Helix was going to be quite a strain - he was getting too old for this - but when Adam considered Brennan's own condition, his discomfort at lifting Brennan's weight seemed rather insignificant in comparison.
-----
Emma suddenly stopped walking and pulled away from her worried friends. She rested her shoulder against the wall, feeling worn and practically numb to the constant buzzing inside her mind. She leaned her head to the wall and pressed her hands to it as well, needing the support before closing her eyes and listening. She could hear them like the rumble of an approaching train.
If they were to make it back to the Helix, she, Shalimar, and Jesse would need to leave this hallway and cross through an open section of the complex. Unprepared, they wouldn't make it past the waiting ambush alive.
Having no other choice, she opened herself fully to the hum of what felt like a thousand voices. Jesse was saying something to her, and she covered her ears. She could hear his thoughts, and she didn't need it in surround sound.
She lowered her hands. "I'm okay," she told her friends without actually knowing what words they'd spoken aloud. Their concern would drown her without the reassurance that she was fine.
Focusing, she kept her lock on Brennan and Adam, then she picked out fourteen others from the crowd. That was what they'd be facing.
She couldn't cloak herself, Jesse, and Shalimar. She was too weak from her struggles with Brennan to hold that large of an illusion against over a dozen men. She settled on an easier task and sent out the wave.
"Move," she told her two friends who'd remained stopped with her. She purposefully marched forward. "They've lost their guns; we can take them."
Jesse and Shalimar followed quickly behind her, both somewhat stunned to discover the fourteen men which blocked their path. Yet they'd gone against worse odds and won. All three of the team readied themselves for battle.
They'd be required to fight their way out, a situation that would have been much easier with Brennan's aid. His was the most active power of them all. And Eckhart had been preparing to give it to Emma if the tests had continued...
Emma closed her eyes for a moment and focused. She didn't need science to give her Brennan's gift in order for her to be able to use it. She only needed to make her enemies believe.
-----
"Stop."
Adam paused at the sound of the voice, and footsteps echoed off the floor behind him as someone approached.
"I can't allow you to take him." Jordan nervously cocked his gun. He'd been almost to DeLauro when the alarm had sounded and he'd changed his course. He wasn't certain why he'd abandoned seeking out the girl in favor of returning to check on Mulwray. Maybe he sought to prolong being forced to make his decision of whether or not he could kill her. Maybe he just wanted to be sure that if one the prisoners was rescued, it wouldn't be Brennan who was taken. "Put him down, then raise your hands over your head."
Slowly, Adam turned around. The source of the demand wasn't much more than a kid. He briefly wondered if Eckhart had started recruited people fresh out of high school. The boy couldn't have had more than a couple years of college at the most. The hand that held the gun was shaky, and the white lab coat labeled him as a doctor or a technician, not a security agent. Adam took an educated guess on doctor.
Adam sighed. He was too fresh, too young. Gambling that he wasn't also too eager to take the shot, Adam made a hasty dash to get himself and Brennan around the corner and out of the line of fire.
Anxiety more than anything made Jordan pull the trigger. His target slipped out of sight and he heard the sound of a body - or two - hitting the floor. He quickly prayed that he hadn't accidentally shot Brennan. Practicing on a shooting range was very different than taking aim at an actual person. He took a moment to collect himself.
Blood from the wound to Adam's side mixed with Brennan's where the bandaging on his wrist had been dislodged. Adam carefully touched his own injury. It was a flesh wound, not overly serious. He did a fast check on Brennan before readying himself to deal with the young doctor who'd just shot at them.
Brennan was partially conscious now, roused slightly from oblivion when he'd suddenly impacted with the floor. He didn't think there was a single place on his entire body that didn't hurt. He felt Adam rest a hand on his arm, and he stilled himself, silently waiting. The touch was soft, yet also firm, tense. Brennan translated it as a warning to not move. He cautiously listened, trying to figure out what was going on and if he even cared.
When Jordan rounded the corner, Adam swept out a leg in the hope of knocking him off his feet. He somehow managed to avoid going down, and Adam lunged for him, attempting to grab the hand which held the gun.
There was something wet and sticky on the floor, and Brennan wondered if it was his blood or Adam's. He could hear the sounds of a scuffle, which likely meant Adam was still able to fight. Then he heard something drop heavily and skid across the floor in his direction. His mind instantly identified it as a gun. The next sound he heard was something he desperately hoped wasn't the sound of Adam's head striking the wall. Whatever it was, the noise of fighting ceased.
He blinked his eyes tightly then tried frantically to see. Everything was still just a blurry haze of white. But the fact that there was a blur to see was encouraging. He prayed that it meant this was only temporary as he had no guarantees about whether repeated doses of the chemical would actually wear off.
Something inside his mind told him he was in danger - instinct or Emma, he wasn't certain.
Quickly, he began feeling for the weapon, but instead his fingers met with flesh as another hand grabbed it first. Good guy or bad? The contact lingered for a split second. Then he had his answer as whoever was in front of him suddenly tried to snatch the gun away, but Brennan held firm.
"Jordan..." It wasn't a question. He just knew. He remained still and they were close enough to feel each other's breath. Brennan pondered whether to risk continuing to talk. Common sense told him to let the gun go as a show of good faith, of friendship. If they fought for it, he couldn't win. But he could play this out; he knew Jordan would back down.
Yet he also knew that he wouldn't. Emma and his subconscious were both giving him warnings, and he didn't find it strange that he couldn't tell the two apart. Caution won out, and he kept his grip tight. "Please, Jordan, don't do this. You can come with us instead. We'll grant you asylum and protect you from Eckhart. I promise you. We'll protect you."
"I can't," came the hesitant reply.
Brennan wished he could meet Jordan's eyes, but he was also somewhat relieved that he couldn't, because his eyes might reflect too much. He stared down instead, speaking softly. "I'm not asking you to trust Mutant X. I'm asking you to have faith in me. No teams, just you and me, okay? Both of us on the same side, our own side, and we'll sort out our loyalties later."
Jordan could hardly believe he was actually considering it. Considering giving up his position with the GSA. But who had the power to judge what was right and what's wrong, to say who the good guys are and who's evil? That was something Jordan needed to decide for himself, and something inside him said that what had been done to Brennan wasn't right regardless of his criminal past. And he could never kill Emma either.
But he'd wanted to. He'd been contemplating it, trying to talk himself into it, and his physical nearness to Brennan had allowed those thoughts to pass into Emma's proximity. She was so intently focussed on him that she could read scattered traces from everybody around him.
And so she'd already warned Brennan... as ever so slowly, Jordan let go of the gun. He honestly couldn't say why he did it. There was a part of him that still believed in the research he was doing. Yet looking at Brennan, he seemed so... shattered... as if more hopeless than desperate. Science had destroyed him, all trace of his cockiness and spirit gone. He held no confidence in his request. Outlaw or not, seeing him broken like this was just... Eckhart might as well have asked him to kick a puppy.
"Okay," he said slowly, listening to some inner voice that was gently prodding him to lower his hand and back down, leaving the gun in Brennan's possession. He wasn't defecting to join the ranks of Mutant X, since Brennan never said he had to switch teams. He wasn't being forced or coerced into anything. He was merely setting Brennan free, and everything else they could work out later.
However, once the gun was solely in Brennan's hand, he didn't hesitate even a second to fire it. Jordan had allowed himself to become vulnerable, and Brennan grasped the opportunity to cease control without mercy. Several more shots followed the first in quick procession. "You would have killed her, you son of a bitch, you'd have killed her..."
In a complete state of shock and disbelief, Jordan looked at the blood that ran down his left arm from the bullet wound. The other shots had all impacted the wall at his side. He remained perfectly still, breathing shallowly, aware that Brennan could only aim based on sound and not sight. He then turned his gaze to Brennan, the fact that he'd fired hurting more than the bullet itself.
"Why..." he whispered in confusion, forgetting to be silent. Or maybe he remembered but needing an answer was more important.
He wondered if Brennan would turn on him yet again, the thought terrifying. He wondered what horrible things the DeLauro girl was whispering inside his head. Had she made him do this? His aim had been to the left, and Jordan wondered if he'd been trying for his heart.
Brennan offered no answers. He kept the gun trained on Jordan, listening to his breathing in between his own breaths that were coming deep and fast. Yet his aim was steady and sure. Jordan was the one who was trembling.
Using the momentary adrenaline rush that distracted him from the pain, Jordan surged forward with sudden anger, wrestling the gun from Brennan and then pistol whipping him across the side of his face. "I can't believe you shot me." The words didn't come out as harshly as he intended them, rather they served to make him sound small and afraid.
Brennan pressed his hands to the floor to support his weight as he spit the blood from his mouth. Jordan's blow had split open his lip. He didn't make a move to defend himself from any attack that might follow. He couldn't exactly get up and fight with his legs broken.
Seeing him helpless and in pain, Jordan felt oddly guilty, yet at same time bitterly betrayed. He figured he should have felt more upset, but there was only a deep ache. He held his left arm close to his side, trying not to move it. He had been thinking of killing the girl, and without her governor, she could have known. He wanted to strike Brennan again but held back. "Tell me that she made you do this!"
Brennan's offer had sounded so sincere, but if it were all lies, he'd hurt him back, hurt him for using him like this, and then deliver him back to Eckhart... Deliver him back into a fate less merciful than death.
He held the gun tightly as he stared into Brennan's blank eyes. Then the eyes closed and Brennan whispered an almost silent, "I'm sorry." Jordan wondered if the words were meant for him or Emma, and then Brennan sagged fully limp to the floor.
Hatred turned to automatic concern and Jordan leaned forward. Brennan's breathing was too uneven for sleep or unconscious. He'd merely collapsed. Half suspecting a trick, Jordan touched his cheek, careful to avoid where his strike would soon leave a deep bruise, and he received only a small moan. The skin under his fingers was abnormally warm.
Before Jordan could consider the situation any further, he heard a stirring behind him. Adam was coming around from the stroke of dumb luck that had allowed Jordan to knock him out.
Brennan was vaguely aware of Jordan shifting to leave his side. He had a sinking suspicion that the gun was now being pointed at Adam.
With that knowledge, he willed himself to pass out before he could witness Adam's death. And he finished building the mental barrier that shielded him completely from all external stimuli and also all emotion.
He wrapped Emma's psionic net about his box, picturing his mind in the same way as she did, and the surfaces morphed, giving him safety in its strength. He wished the walls impenetrable, and the seams vanished as his layer of protection shifted and became a perfect sphere around him, locking him in and all else out.
There would be no more pain.
-----
"NO!" Emma screamed - silently or aloud she wasn't certain - losing her grip on Brennan.
With her open eyes, she saw Shalimar and Jesse move forward without her and take on the first of the agents, beginning the fight. Thanks to her, none of them used their guns. But her friends still needed her at their side to lend aid, yet her mind was elsewhere entirely, and she stood frozen, a defenseless statue while she tried to save Brennan.
On some level, she was still receiving the impulses that informed her of what was happening around her, yet she felt torn, stretched over two places at once and hearing the thoughts of the nineteen individuals she was required to focus on all assaulting her mind simultaneously.
The fight continued on without her. Dodge, strike, attack, feint, kick, recover, move... She could see every blow and every counter before it happened. Shalimar's thoughts were on fire, wrapped in the heat of the moment, lost in the game. She was doing very well. Jesse was struggling, but holding his own.
She was having no luck at all getting through to Brennan. Mehler and Adam were just more turmoil. The fourteen agents, downed to eleven conscious, were merely a pain in the ass.
Somebody moved to strike her down, but she remained motionless, safe in the knowledge that Jesse saw him. He massed and shielded her with his own body, continuing to protect her as the fight raged on.
But then he took a hard blow that came from behind. She'd sensed it, he hadn't. He went down, sprawling roughly, not quite catching himself as he hit the floor. The tremor of pain she picked up on was far too strong.
What the hell? Jesse hissed at the stab of pain which laced through his back, biting back his cry. Was he bleeding? There was no way the hit had been that bad, yet the response from Jesse's mind made it seem like his back had practically been ripped apart. And he wasn't getting up.
Shalimar was too occupied with the swarm of men upon her to notice that Jesse had been taken out of the fight. He was barely hanging on to consciousness, struggling desperately to cling to wakefulness. Damn it, he was a sitting duck. And now so was Emma.
Influencing the other situation as much as possible, Emma reluctantly pulled back. She returned herself to where she physical stood, abandoning the minds which remained in some distant part of the building from her.
Two more men had entered, their minds clear, having not been present during Emma's psionic wave. One of them forced a still struggling Jesse to his knees, and then he held his gun to the young man's head. Emma was afraid that, since he'd still been too dazed to put up much of a fight, he wouldn't have the energy left required to phase either.
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TBC...
Hmm, I didn't do anything overly cruel to Shalimar this chapter, and I feel kinda bad for leaving her out. However, considering my mood lately, she's safer this way. If I put her in harm's way, I'd likely just kill her since she's fairly insignificant to the overall plot of this story. Be glad I ignore you, Shal!
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the extra long chapter. I figured I owed you one. Sadly, you should expect more delays from me, as my life has become a bad screenplay as of late. Wait, scratch that, actually it would make a rather good screenplay. It just sucks for me because I'm not a fictional character. But on the bright side, I can use my experiences for a subplot in a novel some day. Or if I don't, maybe Lanfear will! *grin*
But I can always use reviews and e-mails to cheer me up and keep me writing. Your feedback means the world to me right now - in whatever form it comes. I appreciate both the kind support and the death threats for if I stop writing. It's nice to know you care enough to still be reading after over 85,000 words.