Prompt 42: Espo and Ryan accidental baby acquisition

set pre-series, so that they can't just go to Castle for advice haha

(Ryan)

They are fucked. Fully and truly fucked. Oh God, should he even be thinking swear words in front of a baby?

"This is all your fault," he accuses his partner. Espo avoids his glare, manages to look slightly ashamed. Which he should, because it's completely his fault that they're in this position. If he'd just kept his mouth shut, if he hadn't brought up maternal instincts, Beckett wouldn't be punishing them by making them take care of the baby they found at the crime scene.

Neither of them know a thing about babies. Yeah, Ryan has a couple nieces and nephews, but his job has pretty much guaranteed that he's never had to babysit.

They are so screwed.

The baby starts whimpering, and they turn to each other in panic.

"Bro, what did you do?" Espo asks.

"Nothing!" Ryan insists. "You're closer to him than I am. What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

The baby's whimpers turn into a drawn out wail, loud, piercing, and never-ending. Ryan rushes to the carrier and starts rocking it gently.

"Shhh buddy," he murmurs. "It's okay. You're okay, right?"

The rocking and shushing do nothing. Oh God this sucks.

"Is he hungry or somethin'?" Javi asks.

"I don't know, man," he replies. "I know as little about babies as you do."

There's a scoff from the doorway, and they both turn to find Lanie watching them with undisguised amusement. "You two are pathetic," she says, moving Ryan out of the way. She plucks the baby from his carrier and cuddles him, bouncing him a little. He quiets almost instantly, even gurgles happily as he reaches to grab at her hair.

"See? He just wanted a little attention," she coos. They both stare at her soft, baby voice, but she just rolls her eyes and keeps talking. "Beckett needs you two in the field, so I volunteered to take care of this little guy for a while."

"Thanks Lanie," Ryan says sincerely. "You're a lifesaver." He means it. He'd probably give her a hug if her arms weren't full of baby.

"Yeah, thanks," Javi repeats. "We owe you one."

"No you don't," she says as they go to leave. "Just try not to piss Beckett off again."