Part 36 - The Only Hope for Me is You

I woke up from my horrifying dream, only when I felt someone trying to shake me awake, and quickly my ears were able to pick up on the voice of the one person that I had been searching for. Had been so desperately looking and longing for. "Brixta! Brixta, wake up! It's just a dream! It's all over!"

Hearing Toby say that last sentence, caused me to bolt upright into a sitting position on his bed, my movement so abrupt that it shocked him a little when it happened. "NO! No, it can't be over!"

"You don't want the dream, that's been causing you to toss and turn, along with mumble in your sleep, to end?" He raised an eyebrow in doubt, and I silently sat where I was, thinking for a while, allowing my brain to catch up in time. To catch up with reality.

"The dream...it's over...You were talking about the dream?" I asked, trying to convince myself that that had been what he was really talking about. My eyes catching notice of the slight tremor running through my hands as I spoke. How long had I been sitting there...shaking?

Slowly Toby placed his hand over mine, his eyes wide with worry, "Yes, the dream...You were saying things like 'You're wrong' and 'I'd never leave him for you'. Tell me, what were you dreaming about that was so horrible that it'd make you toss and turn like you were?"

"I was getting married...Only I didn't know the person that I was getting married to...In the dream I told him that I was already seeing someone, when I said your name, he told me that I had left you...to be with him..." I looked down at my knees, and began to draw them close to my chest, the image of the man still so very vivid in my memories.

Brown hair, nearly dark enough to be black, blue-green eyes like mine, black framed glasses, he'd been about five to six inches taller than me, bushy eyebrows, and then there was the obvious fact about him. He wasn't Toby.

"He told me that not only had I moved on, but that so had you...And when I left him, to go and find you...No matter how hard I looked...No matter how far I searched...You were no where within my dream...No where..." I could feel his arms enveloping me in a warm embrace, which, somehow, helped me to feel better. More safe. More convinced that it had been just a dream that I'd had.

Sighing, as he sweetly kissed the top of my head, quietly I heard him begin to whisper, "It's true, we may not get to the point where we'd consider marriage, but that still doesn't mean that I don't care about you, or that it couldn't ever happen. Right now, I'd say that we could both agree that it's just too soon for us to even think about it, or for us to even really know how things will go with us. For now, however, I am here by your side, at this very instant, that's all that I can really promise you." Once more he pressed his lips to my head.

"I know, but I'd still like to be married to someone that I at least know, and not feel like I'm in an arranged marriage with some complete stranger." I looked out of the window, the moon still out, and getting off of the bed, felt the need to stand and stretch my legs out some.

At my side within a second, Toby asked me finally, "You okay? I mean, how are you feeling today? Better?"

Nodding my head, my feelings getting back to where they normally were, "Yeah, must've been some twenty-four to forty-eight hour bug, but I'm better, thanks." I decided to take a deep breath, but only ended up exhaling all of the air that I had just taken in, out of my lungs a second later. Slowly realizing that the thing that I really needed to fully calm myself was music, I had to listen to at least just one song to become normal again. "Toby, do you mind if I see your laptop for just one moment, please? My nerves are completely shot, and music is my only tranquilizer."

He looked over at his closed laptop, answering me with a smile, "Sure, let me log in, then it's all yours." Making his way to where he'd left his computer, next to his couch, and set on top of a portable table, he booted it up, glancing back over at me while he waited for the log in screen to pop up. "So, it really was that bad of a dream?"

"You have no idea! It all started off okay. We were in Kentucky, about to go and visit my favorite bookstore of all time! Then right before we actually get in, all of these homeless people appear out of no where, all of them were sleeping on the hard blacktop. Well I start freaking out, bouncing all over the place like a jack rabbit..."

Laptop booted, Toby laughed and with just as amazing speed as before, typed in his password. "Anything else happen? Or was that all?" He got out of the way, allowing me to take his spot.

"Four words for you: World's Best Stocked GameStop!" Opening up Internet Explorer, I went to YouTube's page, typing into the search bar the name of a song, any song that came to my mind. "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" was what I settled on, and hearing the slow dance style of music, my body began to relax itself.

"Late dawns and early sunsets

Just like my favorite scenes

Then holding hands and life was perfect

Just like up on the screen

And the whole time while always giving

Counting your face among the living."

I couldn't help but to smile as the song continued to play on, the voice of my favorite singe filling my head with the colorful emotions conveyed through the lyrics. "It's the only song that I've heard about zombies that I've actually liked. Then again..." Laughing quietly, I whispered, "I've never really found a song by them that I didn't care for."

Listening to the song, I could tell that Toby was on the fence when it came to deciding how he felt about it. I could see that that he wasn't able to chose if it was good...Or not. "Do all of their songs have to do with zombies?"

The randomness of his question made me laugh again, and as the song came to an end, I began to type in the name of another, speaking softly, "You might like this one better." Clicking on the third link, I watched as Toby slowly smiled, hearing the music fade in to the point where it could be heard, then when the singing started, he nodded his head, showing that it had earned his seal of approval.

"If there's a place that I could be

Then I'd be another memory

Can I be the only hope for you?

Because you're the only hope for me.

And if we can't find where we belong

We'll have to make it on our own

Face all the pain and take it on

Because the only hope for me is you alone."

Setting down beside me, the second verse now playing, Toby hugged me gently, "I love you, and I know that your dream was unsettling, but that's really all that it was. A dream. As long as things continue to work between us, then I'm here for you. Even if we do go our separate ways, I'm still going to be there for you."

I slowly looked up at Toby's face, "I know, I just don't understand where the dream came from..."

"Who knows? Sometimes the one's that come out of no where, are the weirdest it seems."

Narrowing my eyes, I quietly muttered, "You're telling me, I used to have this dream when I was a kid, that I was getting chased around by a giant dime...Then one where my cat was on a stair climber exercise machine...Now that one was weird..."

We both looked briefly at each other, broke out laughing, then hand in hand we stood up. Somehow coming to the same decision simultaneously to dance there in his living room, even long after the music had ended. Twirling in circles, neither knowing what to do.

Yet we didn't care about that. We were in it for the fun, and that was all.

After twirling, and after all of our laughter, Toby wrapped his arms around my waist, his eyes on me. "Well since we're both feeling better, would you like to go anyplace today?"

"But it's still night out..."

Smiling, he whispered, "Check again."

Looking out of the window again, I saw that the sun was indeed rising once more. Marking the start of a new day. How long had we been awake dancing, and listening to music? I didn't know, but taking a second to think, I eventually said, "As long as we're doing something together, then it really doesn't matter to me what it is." Smiling I stood up stretching, "So do you have anything in mind?"

With a little wicked smile on his lips, Toby whispered out, "Maybe."