Kylo wiped at the excess bacta dripping from his skin. He hadn't given the medicine time to heal him entirely, so he hid himself from anyone who knew he wasn't supposed to be out of bed rest. When he was mostly dried, he threw on the nearest clothes—simple grey shorts and wrapped top, loose and made of thin fabric—before creeping his way through the Resistance ship towards prison quarters. His footsteps were light, his head bowed. Anyone he crossed nodded their acknowledgement but said nothing.

The guards outside the bars of her cell stood solid, unyielding. They faded into nothing in Kylo's sight when he saw Lilac. His heart swelled with joy, even as she lay crying on a bare steel bench.

General Organa had allowed the cell to remain unlocked for Lilac-and her frequent visitor, Hux—to come and go as she pleased (though Lilac remained under watch at all times). From what Kylo had heard, Lilac didn't move much on her own; if she didn't have to leave the bench, she'd stay sobbing all day. She didn't look up when someone entered, and Kylo guessed she was expecting another meal she intended to ignore.

Kylo sat on the edge of the bench next to her hip. For a long moment he just watched her body wrack with quiet sobs. Then he sat his hand on her shoulder, and she stilled immediately.

"Hux?" She croaked out, voice raw with emotion.

"No," Kylo told her softly, "not this time."

Lilac sat up, her wide eyes brimmed red, and stared at him. "Kylo? You're okay?" She looked him over, piece by piece, searching for something, anything, that might be wrong. "You're okay." She repeated, answering herself.

Kylo raised a hand to her face, cupping her cheek. "I'm okay." He gazed into her eyes, so alive and soulful. He grazed her lips with his thumb, mesmerized. The last time he'd seen her, if he'd known any of what was to pass, he would have sat with her like that, remembering every detail about the woman he loved.

This woman, this version of Lilac, was hard as stone and cold to the touch. She had bruises all over her skin, and light burns along her cheeks. Her scars, along her head and along her wrists, were raised and irritated. There were others, small and healing, that Kylo knew were not there before.

"Your hair has grown," Kylo muttered. The purple locks fell below her shoulders, straight and silken.

Several tears dropped from Lilac's eyes before she spoke, "I'm so sorry."

Kylo shushed her, pulling her against his chest. He pet her hair and rocked her back and forth as she shook. "I know, Lilac. I know you are. And I know you were forced into it."

Lilac pulled back suddenly, her hands keeping him away, "What?"

"Jona. You said he told you to. I felt his influence in your mind." Kylo grimaced. "That worm burrowed into your thoughts and made you believe you wanted what he wanted. He fed off your anger and your desire to make slave traders pay for what they did, and he made you train for that purpose until you bled for it."

"But I wanted-"

"When you were willing to do whatever he said," Kylo continued without pause, "he made you want to kill me."

"I did kill you-"

Kylo took her face in both of his hands, and she was unable to stop him as he forced his lips against hers. Kylo kept his face close to hers as he spoke, "I forgive you."

Lilac closed her eyes, melting against him. "You can't. You can't ever forgive me. I might do it again."

Kylo held her in his arms while his mind continued to reach out and search hers. Jona was still there, in patches, like a disease or a fungus that could only ever be reduced but never fully eliminated. "You're safe now, Lilac. I am safe with you."

He didn't want to tell her what he really thought, which was that Jona's influence, somehow, would never leave her. One day she could wake and have the urge to stab Kylo several times with a toothbrush, and it would not surprise him one bit. She didn't need to worry about that. He would do all the worrying for her.

Lilac clung to him. "I killed you, Kylo, you can't forgive me for that."

"I'm alive." Kylo assured her.

They sat together for a long while, silently feeling their hearts heal in each others presence. They ached and mourned the time they lost. Quietly, Lilac resolved to give in to him. He was a smart man, and a strong man. Lilac loved him so, so much.

All the time Lilac was alone, she wished and prayed that some day something would change so that she could be with him again. Lilac would do anything to be safe and happy with Kylo again, and she'd needed a reason to have a chance at that. Having his forgiveness, having his love and attention after everything she'd done, was reason enough to think that they could go back to normal.

Lilac stood up, brushing hair away from her face. Kylo stayed seated, adjusting his tear stained top. Lilac looked back at him before starting to pace.

"Kylo, you know, I haven't had a day of rest since I...left the Finalizer. I was running and fighting and trying to find myself. I think I know, now, who I am and what I want. The problem is that you didn't find me like that. You found me in an alley trying to kill you and Hux because that's who I became, instead of who I tried to be. I know I'm rambling, but you have to know that I'm not just one person. I haven't been, and I don't think I can be."

"Then who are you?" Kylo asked patiently, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands folded together.

Lilac faced him, drawing herself up to her full height. "I never knew love while I was a slave. I think...I think I understand it now, and I want it. I want love. With you, and with...Hux."

Kylo didn't so much as blink, understanding that there was something between them. He'd come to accept it, since seeing how far Hux would go to protect her. There was no easy answer, but Kylo wasn't against having that conversation. "Go on."

Lilac nodded. "Okay, great. But I've tried to kill you both, and very nearly succeeded. That's a problem. For me, and for the Resistance that you're apparently a part of now, and it should be a problem for you."

"Many people have tried to kill me before. I have even tried to kill many people that are now invaluable to me. Hux included."

"Your mother thinks differently. Right?"

Kylo looked down at his hands. "Right. Everyone here has proven themselves. Taking down slave markets is one thing, but she has the belief that you did it for the wrong reasons."

"Revenge?"

Kylo nodded.

Lilac laughed bitterly. "Revenge is a bad reason? You've taken revenge. Hux has. I've heard lots of stories about your mother, and all the big wigs in the Resistance. Revenge is a great motivator. It gets shit done."

Kylo stood up, taking her in his arms. "I know that. The Resistance has better ways."

Lilac looked away, holding in a laugh. "I never could have imagined you saying that."

"I'm saying it now." Kylo gripped her chin, turning her face to look into his eyes. "I'm serious, Lilac. I have seen the plans. I've spoken to the leaders. The Resistance is better. You'll learn that."

"And if I don't?"

"Then," Kylo kissed her gently, "we will have a very long conversation about you going on to live a very uneventful life away from these battles and these people."

"So I either fight for the cause or I don't fight at all?"

"Pretty much."

Lilac considered it. If she tried to join the Resistance, she could potentially do a lot of good with them. That's what she thought with the First Order, though. They seemed almost interchangeable, as long as she could fight the battles she was passionate about. "And what if I fight for you?"

Kylo tilted his head, thinking about it.

Lilac smiled. "Yeah. I was going to be by your side when you were with the First Order. I can be by your side now. I just don't think...No, I know I don't belong with the Resistance. Not in any official capacity. I'm not like them. I don't give a shit about a galactic war. I give a shit about the people in the gutter with no better way to survive than to sell their bodies. The Resistance doesn't have a slave rescue task force, does it?"

"Not that I know of," Kylo hummed. "We could start one."

"And divert resources away from the galactic war?" Lilac huffed dramatically. "No way."

Kylo frowned. "I'm sorry."

Lilac shook her head at him, "Don't be. Don't ever be. I'm the one that's sorry. I'll follow you anywhere, Kylo, I just need to know that you won't let me get away with being a bitch again."

They searched each others' eyes for a long moment. Kylo already forgave her. He trusted her. There was no question in his mind that she belonged at his side. Resistance or not, they could be together.

"I think," Kylo smiled gently, "it's time for you to meet my parents."

"Kylo-" Lilac warned.

"Just let me take care of everything. We'll sit for dinner, and they'll love you. We can figure everything out later."

Lilac wasn't so sure that it was a good idea. "Aren't I an enemy of the Resistance?"

"We're being cautious with the woman that's torn down entire slave markets and attacked one of our own. Two, actually. Hux."

"Hux." Lilac nodded. "I attacked two Resistance members. I feel like- Like I might do it again. I don't want to, exactly. There's just..." She made a clawing motion at her head, unable to find the words.

"You've been starving yourself. Barely sleeping. You need to rest. You'll feel better, I promise." Kylo took her hand and kissed it.

"If I'm so unwell, maybe dinner should wait."

"Agreed. Until then, you will stay with me."

Lilac glanced at the guards. "And them?"

"You will remain under watch. Just ignore them."

"If I can..." Lilac rested her head against Kylo's shoulder. "I love you, Kylo. Why can't things just be simple?"

Kylo rubbed her back in slow circles. He couldn't answer her in any reassuring way, so he kept his mouth shut. There was little he could do to make their lives simpler. All he could do was to keep their love alive and protect Lilac with everything he had. Kylo prayed it would be enough.