*banging head against wall* Why-do-people-always-review-AFETR-I-want-them-to?! On that note, thank you for the wondrous support. TomatoBastard, we're already planning to do one, we just…haven't had the time for ANYTHING lately. Guest, thank you very much for the cyber cupcake. I shall now eat it and laugh at all my other readers who do not have cyber cupcakes. *munch munch munch* Haha, haha. *nom* Mm, good cupcake. Baby Bear, I cannot tell you whether or not I am planning to do so, as such information would spoil my plotline. If you have any suggestions for such an event though, hey, have at it. It's sort of a loose concept at this point anyway, so more specific ideas would be welcome. And Singular Poisonous Ashes (hello again by the way), I am not PLANNING for there to be any pairings, but if you all ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NEEEEEEEDsuch-and-so to be paired with such-and-so, I'll try to squeeze it in. (That goes for all of you.) Unfortunately for the greater part of this particular fanbase, I cannot write any yaoi or yuri pairings. Romance ain't my strength (in fact, it's more of my weakness) when it comes to writing, so I tend to avoid writing it as much as my sappy younger sister will let me. And since I have absolutely no experience writing in the homosexual category of romance, I'm going to stick to my ever-so-slightly-more-familiar side of relationship construction.

(This means no FrUK, USUK, GerIta, FrUS, RoChu, Spamano, and so on, and so forth, and suchlike.)

March 1, 2015

Arya's POV:

I whimpered and rubbed my stinging wrist.

"Kesese~! C'mon fraulien, get back over here!" Prussia crowed, waving his wooden practice sword in circles above his head.

I pointed the hand that wasn't bruised and battered beyond all recognition at him vehemently. "Hell no! You're going to cut my hand off! Hell, its halfway of already!"

He sweatdropped, as did Hungary and Austria, who were watching.

"You do know it is a wooden sword, ja?" Austria asked, taking a sip of his tea.

A gloom cloud hovered over me, still pointing at Prussia. "For that freak of nature, it doesn't seem to matter." I muttered, and Prussia dropped his sword and advanced upon me, rolling up his sleeves.

"No! Nononononono! I don't wanna!" I screeched as he grabbed me and began to pull, both hands on my ankle.

"Kesese~! You are going to hit me, fraulien, like it or not! Get over here!" he cackled, and a rather comical tug of war ensued between me and the nation.

"NOOOOOO! Let me go! I wanna go back to Roomsky Kornerkov!" I shrieked, my nails gouging furrows in the ground as Prussia steadily walked backwards.

"Nein! Get over here, und stop naming parts of the room!"

"NEIN! IE! NO! NO! BACK YOU ALBINO MEANACE TO SOCIETY! BACK!"

***Time Skip***

"…"

Poke. Poke poke.

"You know West, I think I broke her."

"Vell, you did go all-out in training, didn't you? Look at her hand."

"…"

Poke poke poke poke.

"Scheiße, not you too! It vas just a few taps!"

"Her hand is black and blue."

Poke poke-

"…r…s…"

Prussia stopped poking me with a gasp. "Eh?"

"You…are…an…asshole…" I whispered venomously, and he broke out into his usual wild laughter.

"Kesese~! See, she's fine, West!" he called over his shoulder. I saw Germany facepalm from behind the counter.

A deep gloom cloud lay over me as I curled up in the corner of Germany's kitchen. "Go on, eat lunch without me. I'm just going to sit in a corner and loathe humanity." I deadpanned, and both Germanic nations sweatdropped.

"Maybe it's her time of the month?" Prussia hazarded as he stroked his chin, and I cocked my head in expectation. Sure enough, about two seconds after that particular statement, there was a loud CLONG, and Prussia was laid out flat on the linoleum, a large bump on his head and swirls going around in his eyes.

Hungary Wins Again! Flawless Victory! I thought as another sweatdrop appeared over my own head. She has better aim with those things than Batman does with his gadgets.

Germany scooped up the frying pan and left the kitchen. "Hungary, I know my Bruder's a bit of un idiot, but please stop throwing zese around." he said, his voice muffled by the walls, before he came back, without the frying pan and his brawny arms folded.

"Arya, I'm not good vith talking about zings, but is something wrong? Something to do with your family?" he asked awkwardly, and I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

"No…"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Um…so…vat is it?" he mumbled, shifting from foot to foot, and I sighed again, resting my forehead on my folded arms.

"The whole thing with the 2p!s, man…" I mumbled, and he frowned.

"Vat about zem?" he asked worriedly, and my shoulders slumped even more.

"Dude, I can barely keep up with Prussia, I have no idea how to wield the titchy little pocket knife I keep waving around, I don't know any magic, I have no idea on how to wield a gun-"

He sighed and put a hand on his forehead. "So basically, you're saying you're insecure because you have no idea how to fight the 2p!s in an actual, one-on-one fight with no chance of you running away?"

I nodded, scrunching up further into my self-hating little ball. Germany knelt and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Aryana, the chances of that happening are very, very slim at this point. You're resourceful, you're clever, und you're good at making allies, so even if they drag you over to their world, you can still probably get away. Just because you aren't a trained fighter doesn't make you helpless." he pointed out, and I sucked in a deep breath.

"Yeah…I guess you're right, Deutschland." I said with a slight smile, and I yelped as Prussia suddenly scooped me up under the armpits and dragged me towards the dining room.

"Damn straight! Now get over here, Austria's gonna claim mein seat at the table!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A SEAT ANYMORE, YOU DISGRACE OF UN EX-NATION!"

"Stuff it up your ass, Austria! I'll seize your vital regions agai-"

CLONG!

K.O! Finish Him!

Romano's POV:

Peace…peace is good… I thought with a contented sigh, stretching my limbs out as I swung gently in the hammock fastened on the back porch of my villa. I squinted one eye open to check my watch, then relaxed again. It would be time to pick up the krautlet in an hour, but until then, siesta time.

I didn't have to run around facing off the psychopathic incarnations of my own kin, nor take care of an American citizen who was also half of that-annoying-potato-bastard-who-must-die-a-painful-and-slow-death, nor worry about when I would be replaced or attacked by said psychopathic nations. Life was good.

I let out another contented sigh, the ever-present scowl that was plastered on my face relaxing slightly as I snuggled into the hammock, making it swing slightly. Life was progressing nicely: Aryana had a basic understanding of Italiano, not as much as her understanding of German, but hey, that would hopefully soon be fixed.

I lazily reached down and picked up a delicious red tomato, lifting it up to my mouth and taking a hearty bite.

Buono tomato buono tomato buono tomato oo! I thought happily, squirming about in joy as I devoured the succulent red fruit.

I sighed again and stretched as I finished, putting my hands behind my head and crossing my legs lazily, fully prepared to loaf the rest of the day away until I could rescue my 1/4th citizen from the heinous grips of the potato bastard and his family.

The sun was warm, and there was just enough of a breeze that the heat was pleasant rather than stifling, and the hammock was comfortable, so it wasn't too long before I drifted off into a light doze, rocking gently on the breeze.

Footsteps made me peek one eye open, but I scowled and closed it again when I saw Veneziano walking by, carrying a similar basket of tomatoes and whistling cheerily.

Little idiot, doesn't he know it's too hot out to do work? I thought irritably, sighing through my nose as I readjusted myself slightly in the hammock, the tension draining back out of my body. The door opened and closed, and I let my scowl slip back into my more neutral expression, shifting again to gain a more comfortable position.

A shadow fell over me, and I felt something hard against my throat as I squinted my eyes open in irritation. "What the hell are you doing Veneziano?!" I spat, and he smiled slightly. Then my sleep-fogged vision realigned, and I froze as I stared into the wrong eyes.

"Ciao, mio fratello." Luciano purred, waggling a knife between the fingers of his free hand. It was only then that I realized what was against my own throat, and swallowed hard, feeling the cold metal prick at my skin.

"C-ciao…" I mumbled around a plastic smile, a drop of sweat sliding down my chin. "And now, if you don't mind, arrivederci!" With lightning-fast reflexes, I lashed my foot out and caught him square in the chest, sending my brother's murderous double back a few feet as my own landed on the Italian turf. Without another word in parting, I ran, dodging around tomato vines and farming implements.

I felt a slice of pain as he threw a knife at my heart, hitting it, and my knees buckled momentarily, but then I was yanking it out of my chest and streaking off again at a dead run. They couldn't kill me, and I was more than reasonably certain they wouldn't dare try, but that didn't mean they couldn't do some God-awful damage in the meantime.

"Bastardi, cazzo!" I spat, feeling my newly-repaired heart pound in my chest as he ran after me. Though it was a close race between two Italian cowards –the bastard had my brother's body, still– I was the faster, perhaps because I was more used to running in my own body, while Luciano had to work with someone else's. My heart leapt as I pulled farther and farther away, dust fading behind me as I flashed along the old road leading to my villa. At this rate, I could totally-

THUD.

"Dannazione, scendere la strada!" I swore as I bounced backward, landing on my ass. I looked back up at my soon-to-be-roadkill obstructer, about to swear some more about standing in the middle of the fucking road, and froze for the second time. Fuchsia eyes gleamed at me with all the loving friendliness of a hawk about to pounce on a mouse, and the potato bastard Germany's double grinned down at me from his gargantuan height, his brawny arms folded across his chest.

"Hallo, Italien. Going somewhere?" he chuckled deeply.

I gulped and began to scoot backwards. Was I outnumbered?

Something sharp and cold stabbed into the ground on my right, and I gave a yelp and jerked away. Blood-red eyes stared down at me without a trace of emotion, and 2p!Japan jerked his sword from the ground and laid it across his shoulders, watching me for the slightest sign of movement.

I gulped again. I was way outnumbered.

"L-listen, I don't know why you guys are after me, but I-" I began shakily, then snapped my mouth shut as Lutz pulled out a gun and aimed it at my skull.

"We'll talk later, Italien, but right now the rest of us have places to be." he said with an ominous grin, and my eyes widened, my fingers gripping the nice, warm, Italian dirt beneath my like claws. I felt tears well up in my eyes as he stepped forward, bringing the cold muzzle of the gun in contact with my forehead.

Goddammit, why am I always put in these kinds of situations?! First that jackass Spain, and then the real potato bastard in both world wars, and now fucking this!

He thumbed the trigger, and I gulped once last time.

"M-mi dispiace–"

BANG.

11.56 AM, USA Central Time