Mass Effect Abridged

Chapter Thirty Six: Matriarch Benezia

This was it - Matriarch Benezia was in the next room, and once Commander Shepard captured her, she would be able to learn all of Saren's secrets, including what the hell this Conduit thing was, and how it was connected to the Reapers. This also meant that the situation needed to be handled with extreme care and caution, since they both needed the Asari alive, and she didn't want to lose any of her own people as well. A good, solid plan was essential at this crucial stage of her mission, and the slightest hasty step could very well spell disaster for the entire galaxy.

"Forward, A Team!" Presley ordered. "The element of surprise is ours!"

"No, wait!" Shepard called after them as they took off.

The four Commandos ignored her completely as they charged down the hall, and once the door to the room Benezia was in opened, they struck a Sentai pose before drawing their weapons. The older Asari pretty much ignored them as they slowly moved into the room with their weapons aimed at her head, but then her interest finally seemed to be piqued when Shepard and Liara caught up to the others.

"I thought as much." Benezia said as she slowly turned to face them. "So, what was your plan, hmm? Bring my daughter here and then slowly murder her in front of me to weaken my resolve?"

"You bet your big blue ass, it is." Presley replied. "Do it, Wrex."

"You got it, Presley." Wrex said as he took a cheese-grater off his belt. "Okay, Liara, come over here and hold still."

"We are not doing that." Shepard interrupted as she pushed the Krogan back. "Matriarch Benezia, under authority of the Council, I'm placing you under arrest for suspicion of cooperating with the rogue Spectre, Saren. Will you come quietly?"

Benezia just shook her head, and turned away so that she was now facing what looked like a very large fish tank that was covered with a sheet. She then pulled the sheet away, making the whole party gasp as they saw what looked like one of those creatures that had attacked them near the VI Core, only a lot bigger and scarier.

"Behold the Rachni." The older Asari said as she turned back toward them. "This last queen was found still in her egg on an ancient vessel from the Rachni Wars, and her children were to be a grand army used to crush Saren's enemies - however, they're all retarded or something, and just attack everything they see instead of following orders. Such a waste of time and resources - I knew that we should've just gone with the Krogan, but no, my boss has to be an incorrigible dunder-fuck."

"Enough talk." Shepard replied sharply. "Now are you going to surrender peacefully, or are we going to have to get physical?"

Benezia was silent for a few seconds, and then snapped her fingers, causing about a dozen Asari Soldiers to slide down from the ceiling on ropes. Shepard's group was now outnumbered, and the Asari quickly surrounded them with weapons aimed.

"Have you ever faced an Asari Commando unit before?" Benezia continued. "Few humans have, but I assure you that they are without mercy. Now it is you who will surrender, or else the women will be killed, as will the men - but not before they are given the shocker."

"Wait a second." Garrus interrupted. "You can't give a man the shocker."

"Oh yes - you can!"

Shepard's whole party gasped and jumped a little at Benezia's reply, and then all the Asari in the room except for Liara began to laugh as they each put one hand in the shape of the shocker. Part of her wanted to know how exactly it was possible to give the shocker to a man, but then she decided that it was probably better to just not think about it."

"Oh yeah, well we're not scared." Presley replied suddenly. "You may have numbers on your side - as well as better weapons - and a hat that really scares me for some reason - but we have Kaiden! Get her!"

Without wasting another second, Kaiden let out a karate yell as he leapt over the others in the group, and kicked the nearest Asari in the head, knocking her off her feet as her rifle flew out of her hands. The others all aimed their rifles at him, but by this time he was already at the next Asari, causing the others to shoot her when he jumped out of the way. His jump turned into a forward roll that made several shots miss him as he jumped to his feet between two more Asari, and then he ninja-kicked one over a guard rail while at the same time grabbing the other and kissing her while bending her backwards.

"That's my boyfriend." Liara said while smiling with pride. "Isn't he great?"

The Asari Commando went cross-eyed and fainted once the kiss was broken, and Kaiden allowed her to fall to the floor as he went after the remaining three. They tried to overwhelm him by attacking at the same time, but a few quick karate chops later they were on the floor like the others, and now there was no one between him and Benezia.

"Not bad for a human." The older Asari said as she got into her own fighting stance. "Come on, then."

Kaiden did another flying kick as he leapt at her, but Benezia ducked out of the way in order to counter attack, but instead gasped as he was already on her. She was able to block a few of his chops and kicks, but then he kicked one of her legs out from under her and followed up with a spin kick to her chest, knocking her off her feet. Benezia recovered quickly and got to her feet, only to cry out as Kaiden gave her a chop to the side of the neck before grabbing her by the shoulders and head-butting her so hard that she stumbled backwards.

Even Shepard was cheering for him as he walked toward her and gave her another head-butt before she could recover, and another, and another, until the older Asari fell against the wall. She didn't look like she was doing too well, so Kaiden went for another head-butt, but at the last second her feet slid out from under her. This caused her to fall to her hands and knees, and the cheers stopped as Kaiden head-butted a fire extinguisher instead, causing a metallic clang to echo throughout the room as he collapsed to the floor.

"Aw, crap." Shepard said as Benezia started to recover. "Get her!"

Presley was the first to react to this order, and he ran across the room to attack Benezia, but was stopped abruptly as the older Asari brought her knee up into his groin when he tried to grab her. She then punched him in the side of the head, making Presley stumble sideways before falling over, and Benezia responded to the next threat by putting out her hand so that it was on Wrex's forehead. The Krogan grunted in frustration as her hand kept him far enough away so that his wildly swinging punches couldn't reach her, and then she let him go while stepping sideways.

His effort to overpower her caused the Krogan to run forward once she moved her hand, and he was unable to stop himself before he rammed into the same fire extinguisher as Kaiden, joining him on the floor a second later. Garrus was up next, but instead of attacking, he backed off at the last second and ripped off his clothes in one movement like a Chippendale's dancer, leaving him wearing only a banana-hammock as he flexed his bod.

"Oh yeah, baby, get an eye-full of Garrus." He said confidently as he did several different poses. "Is your body temperature rising? How about now? Do you suddenly need to wring out your panties? What you're feeling is normal, Benezia - now why don't you forget about this whole evil villain nonsense, and pay attention to more important things - like me? Come on, baby - just put your hands on my body, and you'll feel all better."

Benezia just stood there for a couple seconds, before coming forward and wrapping her hands around his throat. Garrus gasped for breath as she lifted him into the air and started to shake him until he began to turn a little blue.

"Look at that, you were right." The older Asari said while tightening her grip. "Putting my hands on your body does make me feel better."

A few more seconds of this and she dropped him, allowing the Turian to fall to his hands and knees as she reached down and picked up one of his boots. He was just starting to catch his breath, when the older Asari began beating him over the head with it, hitting him several times before dropping it at the same time that he fell to the floor unconscious.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Benezia asked before turning to face Shepard. "Now - which one of you wants to know what it feels like to have the foot of a Matriarch rammed up your ass at about twenty miles per hour?"

Liara quickly pointed her finger at Shepard, but apparently today was not her day as Benezia came leaping toward her. The younger Asari turned to run away, but was not fast enough to avoid getting a powerful kick in the rear that both lifted her off her feet and sent her sliding across the room's floor where she came to a stop against the wall. Liara was now no longer moving, and as Shepard took a look at all of her fallen comrades, she was just now realizing that she was alone.

"Well, well, look at this." Benezia said as she turned to face her. "It appears that the contest is now between you and I - actually, that's not fair - calling it a contest would imply that you have even a snowball's chance in hell of winning - which you don't."