Chapter 37

Natsu never realized how hard it would be to not talk for hours on end.

There were several instances when he almost blew his cover that night. As he and Lucy repeatedly wiped out foe after foe on the festival battlefield, running the booths dry of prizes… he wanted to woop in excitement and laugh maniacally but… he had to be silent.

A voiceless stranger.

And man did he hate it.

"I almost feel bad," Lucy admitted as they dropped onto a bench at the end of the night. She placed all of the prizes she had won down beside her and leaned back with a sigh. "I mean… we really cleaned everybody out. I didn't think we'd be some kind of magical wonder duo," she laughed. "Nobody even stood a chance against us!"

I knew we'd be some kind of magical wonder duo, Natsu thought sourly.

She stretched her feet with a groan, "Oh man. My feet are killing me! I'm gonna sleep well tonight!"

I probably won't.

She looked up into the sky. "Wow, the stars are so pretty tonight." They observed them for a moment before she sighed. "That reminds me… I wonder where my friends got off to…"

Happy's probably still ogling those fish… Natsu scratched the back of his head.

Lucy glanced over at him and smiled wide, "Thanks for hanging out with me tonight! I had so much fun! More fun than I've had in a long time."

He hesitated and then gave a nod. She looked back up at the stars, but Natsu continued to watch her. Her red yukata was covered in little orange flames.

Lucy looks good in fire, he thought. His eyes wandered up her bare neck to her slightly smiling face. Her eyes were closed and a small breeze ruffled her blonde hair. Natsu's chest tightened and he forced himself to look away. Too good, he rubbed his collar. Those flames are makin' me hungry.

They sat in silence for long, long minutes. Natsu's eyelids were demanding to slide shut, and he fought to keep them open. So tired… His head bobbed and he shook it rapidly. And she's right there… He wanted nothing more than to drape himself right over her lap and fall asleep. But she'd probably give him a good Lucy kick and send him flying.

"Hey…" Lucy's voice startled him awake.

He glanced over at her. She was staring down at the ground, pushing a rock around with her feet.

"This might be weird," she murmured. "But… I was wondering if I could just talk at you for a little bit?" She looked up at him. Her brown eyes locked on the place Natsu's gaze peered through the mask. "It's just… There're some things that are on my mind. And I can't find the courage to tell the people I'm close to… so since you're a stranger… I thought it might help if I talked to you…"

Natsu hesitated, but then gave her a nod.

She gulped and looked away again. "Well… you see… I ran away from home. I work in a guild, and I'm really close to all of its members… but I just left and didn't tell anybody where I was going. I'm sure they're all really worried about me…" her voice lowered, "Especially since I haven't really been myself lately…"

She reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear. "But I have just been feeling like… like I am having a hard time belonging." She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again, looking down at her hands. "No… No… that's not true." She turned her right hand over, examining the pink guild mark branded there. "If there's one place I belong… it's Fairy Tail."

Relief flooded through Natsu's chest.

"But…" she tugged on her yukata. "I'm the cause of a lot of pain. I caused a lot of trouble for my guild in the past and I always somehow got through it. My friends fought for me and kept me close and made me feel wanted… And it didn't matter that I was a problem magnet. Because they never blamed me. And that helped me not blame myself." She sighed, "But something happened recently that affected me and someone I'm really, really close to." She closed her eyes. "Probably the person I'm closest to in this world."

Natsu swallowed the lump in his throat and scratched the back of his neck.

"Something terrible happened to us and I'm the cause of it all. It's my fault and my fault alone that we had to go through hell."

It took everything he had to keep from arguing.

"And this time…" she went on, "the blame won't go away. Even though everyone insists to me every day that it's not my fault… there was nothing I could do… all that matters is that I'm safe…" She leaned over and held her head in her hands. "Even though they say that… I just… can't force myself to believe it. And every day I see my friend struggle with the results of my mistake and it kills me inside. Every time I see his face, I'm reminded of how I failed him. And so…" she looked up. "I ran away. Just like the coward I am. Even though he's hurting. Even though he can't sleep at night without me around. Even though I'm sure he's going crazy looking for me… I ran away." Tears filled her eyes and her voice turned to a whisper. "And I don't know how to force myself to go back. I'm too selfish… too selfish to let myself see him and feel the guilt again. Because I don't want to hate myself." She reached up and wiped at her eyes. "I'd rather he hate me. Because once I hate myself, there's no point to even being here anymore, is there?"

Natsu stood suddenly.

Lucy looked up at him in surprise.

He moved in front of her and held one hand up.

"What…" she blinked at him.

He pointed at her and indicated at the bench. He held both hands up and slowly backed away.

"You want me to wait here?" she asked. "Okay… but…"

Natsu turned and ran off down the street.

Once he reached the bustling festival once more, he yanked the dragon mask from his face. His teeth were clenched, causing a vein in his cheek to bulge.

"Stupid," he muttered. "Why are you so stupid, Lucy?" he made his way through the crowds until he found the booth he was looking for. He quickly pulled down a simple moon mask and paid the man behind the counter.

"Thank you for your patronage!" he called as Natsu turned and stomped back in the direction he came. He pulled the moon mask on and adjusted it so that it was comfortable.

"Stupid," he grumbled again. As if he could ever hate her. Just the thought pissed him off. When she finally came home, he was going to give her a piece of his mind. Or the entire thing, the thought flashed through his mind. He didn't stop to wonder at what it meant.

He hurried back to the bench. Lucy looked up expectantly as he rushed over. At first, she seemed to grow nervous at the sight of the unfamiliar mask, but then her eyes wandered over his outfit and she recognized him.

"What did you—"

Natsu paused in front of her and held the dragon mask out. Lucy stared at it for a moment and then slowly took it.

"What's this for?" she whispered.

You better deliver it to me in person, Natsu thought. He stood there for a few more moments until he saw the understanding cross her features.

She hugged the mask to her chest, new tears rising in her glossy brown eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Natsu nodded and then turned. He walked away just as the first of the fireworks exploded in the sky above.

Author's Note: Well everybody, the thing was okay! It was actually pretty fun. Everyone was really attentive and asked me easy questions. So YAY! But also wahh because I worried for nothing. Laaaaame. Anyway, I'm watching the Road to El Dorado right now and so won't waste any more time yammering down here.

Tracks to listen to:

"Don't Let Them See You Cry" By Manchester Orchestra

"Shallows" by Daughter

And that's all! Love you all!

Love-Moo