Yes! I grossed nearly everyone out with only a paragraph! Sco-ore!

...sorry for the breakfasts I ruined, but I'm pleased. If I made you people cringe, I did my job right. I think I'll go celebrate now...

I wonder if you all will cry as well during the parts that I've cried writing. Though it could be I am so deeply into the words and the scene I have playing in my head to describe that I can't help it. I guess when the time comes we'll see.

Anyway, an "early" upload, because otherwise I won't have time later to put this up until nearly late afternoon my time. And I am not so cruel. At least not today.

Chapter Thirty Seven

It was late afternoon for Edward, and just after noon in Amestris, when he was finished talking to Al, Winry, and even Izumi. All three had had much to say to him, and he them. After all, one did miss their family, albeit an odd one, when they were hundreds of miles away in self exile.

Yet he still had another phone call to make, and he dialed the direct number to Roy's desk. He was one of the few people privileged enough to have it. Strange as that may be consider how off and on they had been when it came to getting along.

And he waited while it rang, hoping it would be picked up. For some reason the thought of leaving a message with Hawkeye made him snort and shake his head. He could just see her disguising the note to read:

Call Edward back- he has challenged you to a duel for his freedom. Else he wishes you and your soldiers the best of luck in finding him in the remote wilderness.

But as it were, that was not necessary.

"Mustang."

"Well duh, it is your office I dialed. Who else would it be?" Edward smirked into the phone.

"Ed!"

"Well no, not exactly. But good try."

"Oh shut up, you know what I meant. You're okay? You're safe?"

"Safer." Ed sighed, and rolled over onto his stomach. "Just a few lingering bruises and some minor pain, but I'll be fine."

"Last we spoke you were better, what happened?"

"I got slammed into a tree, and had a few explosions tossed my way. But nothing I can't handle." Edward reassured.

"Edward?"

Oh how well Ed knew that tone of voice. The one that quite plainly said 'tell me the whole story'. And Edward laughed lightly, "Roy?" He teased back in a sudden impish flair.

Roy had always been able to take his mind off of whatever was bothering him. And right now it was working yet again. And really, he'd missed Roy's voice. Just being able to talk to him left him feeling as if his shoulders weighed considerably less, and his mind was easing into peace.

"Edward."

And there it was, the slight reprimanding tone, and he could almost see the raised eyebrow. "Do you recall that bounty hunter I told you about who I convinced that I was a poacher?"

"I do."

"She caught up with me when I was en route to the capitol city. The car was destroyed, and the driver killed. I managed to get out with Kang. She attacked, used a few explosions here and there, and eventually one on herself. However she survived, which I discovered today, and ended her life lest she continue to suffer. One of the explosions however sent me into a tree. But I'll heal within the next few days."

"Are you sure nothing else happened? That you're fine?"

"I promise, nothing is broken, missing, sprained, or otherwise. Just bruised up. The hot baths here will help immensely to speed the healing, especially once I go down and visit the herbalist to get some salts to put in the bath. However since you are being so nosy, as usual, I did have to put out a forest fire."

"I'll bet that was a dirty affair."

"You've no idea." Edward grumbled, clearly still uneasy about how he had done it. He did not feel comfortable wielding so much alchemic power. He knew Roy would feel the same. And in light of that, he'd not even told Izumi about his recent acquisition of control of creating water out of even the driest of air. If he ever told anyone about this, it would be Roy, but the best time was certainly not over the phone. "And by the way, Kang set out this morning with an envoy. I transmuted a document giving official permission for the Xing party to pass through Ishbal and Amestris, both with your signature, and my own symbol."

"You forged my signature?"

Edward chuckled at the amusement in Roy's voice. "Yes, I willingly admit to you that I forged your signature. The only crime I have ever committed beyond human transmutation, and creating gold."

"I'll overlook all of that in light of the fact you don't make it a habit."

"Don't worry, I would never want to cause you more problems than I already have."

"You're worth it though, you know. I'd not do all I've done for anyone else."

"And you know that I really am grateful for all you're doing."

"Yes… but Ed, I need you to tell me something honestly, and this may sound strange."

"Yes?"

"Have you been having any strange dreams? Where you're in a hospital, or running, or in a forest?"

Edward blinked, clearly wondering if Mustang had finally cracked. The guy was right, this did sound strange. "No. I've been too mentally drained at night to dream I guess. Why?"

"It's nothing, just something that's been happening to me lately. Don't think too much about it… Anyway you should know about some of the things that have gone on lately."

"Tell me."

And so he was told, and Edward every now and then would roll over to change positions on the bed, but remained silent as was filled in from everything interesting to the mundane. His mind was already processing things, and filing at a rate to keep up with Mustang as he rattled things off.

"Tomorrow I'll be able to go to the library, and I can commandeer a computer at that point. It's too late here by now, I'd want to spend all day and right now that's just not possible."

"Call me from a phone there once you're ready and we can get you the data from the hard drive."

"Yeah… did I ever tell you to give that woman a raise? Because seriously, give that woman a raise." Edward said quite seriously into the phone, though he wore a flicker of a smile.

"Yes, she was one of your better finds of a worthwhile human being, as you'd put it. Don't worry, between the money I'm footing Sheska, and the money I'm slipping Gisela and Doctor White under the table, I'll be nice and bankrupt just for you."

Edward smirked, knowing Roy wasn't serious. "But as you've said, I'm worth it."

"So true."

Edward looked up at the knock on his door. "Hold on, I have to be "Master Elric" for a moment." He said into the phone, and turned away from the mouthpiece to call out an "enter."

"Master Elric," one of the many maids greeted as she came in with a bow, "General Orthis has arrived, and upon hearing you are here, he wishes to see you."

"No doubt so he can attempt to pick my brain again about the Gate only knows what this time." Edward groaned to himself, though the maid gave what looked like a sympathetic smile. "After I've come back from dinner, you may check with me then to see if I am feeling up to having a leech try and siphon away some of my remaining patience. However also extend to him that I am not here on mere holiday and thus may not find time in my schedule to speak to him for a few days."

"Shall I send some apologies as well?"

"Yes, make them interesting sounding." Edward allowed, knowing she'd not get carried away.

"Yes, Master Elric." She bowed and made to retreat before Edward called her back again.

"Has the herbalist moved her rooms since I was last here?" He asked now.

"No, sir. She is still in the same quarters as she has been for eight years."

"Thank you, that is all." Edward nodded to her, and watched her bow and leave the room before turning back to the phone. "All right, what were we talking about?"

"How great an alchemist I am. Who's this person that's like a leech?"

Edward groaned audibly, "General Orthis. Thank whatever it is you pray to my non-atheist Fuhrer, that you have no generals like him. Because I'd not restrain myself from bashing them on the head."

"That bad?"

"There are a few people that while I am here, I hoped I wouldn't run into again. Orthis is one of them. He's about as delightful for me to talk to as a cactus is to hug."

"And your emperor friend won't let you do this?"

"Oh he probably would if I did, but for some reason he likes the guy. So I have to be careful I don't piss Orthis off too much."

"You? Being careful with that razor tongue of yours? Shocking."

"Whatever doesn't get said aloud gets thought, and that's enough to tide me over. That and being thankful I don't have to see much of him, considering he's only a blip in the entire scope of my life."

"Don't make yourself sound so old."

"I am old." Edward sighed, and ran a hand tiredly through his bangs. "I've lived more than one life, in more than one way. I've seen and done things no one should ever have to see or do. And if I still manage to have a soul at the end of this, I hesitate to think about how old it might be."

"You know, I once told you that you could come to me with anything. Are you sure you don't want to talk some about whatever it is that you and Al keep to yourselves?"

"I do…" Edward admitted openly, "But not over the phone. I know myself well enough to know that were I to ever tell you, and you were not able to actually physically be there with me, I'd not be in a good state afterwards. I spoke to him today, and he agrees that perhaps I should let you in a bit." To finally allow me to heal. Edward finished in his thoughts.

"Then we will deal with it then. You spoke to Al?"

"Yes, so you don't need to call him afterwards. I also smoothed things over between you and Izumi. She's much less angry now, although I rather did get my ear chewed off."

"Better you than me."

"I also got a talking to by Winry… that was fun." He remarked dryly. "But at least Al was pleasant to talk to. I told him that I had better be an uncle one of these days soon, or I was going to teach Winry German."

"Eh?"

"The language I most commonly went off swearing in that you could never understand."

"Dare I even wonder what you were saying?"

"Things that had I said them in words you could understand, would have probably forced even you to court martial me."

"I'd court martial you myself… no one else is sufficient to deal out punishment to you."

"So true, but as you have no proof, you'll have to overlook it." Edward smiled, and didn't mention the fact that he thought he'd enjoy being punished by Roy. He was sure there'd be a way to make it… interesting.

"Unless the next time I just court martial you for suspicion of you being rude."

Edward actually laughed at that, and smiled at the laugh he heard on the other line. "I'd get at least a few hours of amusement out of that. Though I might be fairly annoyed with you by the end of it."

"And you think I would care?"

Edward smiled gently at the teasing tone. "Yes. Wouldn't you?"

"Always… out of anyone I know, Ed, you deserve to be happy. I want that for you."

"I like you better like this, you know." Edward remarked casually, though inside he was feeling nothing but casual.

"This?"

"Getting along with you, you being nice to me. It's very nice."

"It just took me some time to get my priorities straight. Now I will do my best to make up for my less than adequate times of treatment towards you in the past. I want us to be able to move on from all that and become two people who don't act like mortal enemies at times. We have enough real ones out there."

"So very true. Though I wager I have more than you." Edward noted as he considered all the non-friends he had. "I've got people from two worlds who would want me dead. That's definitely one up on you I'd say."

The conversation continued until Roy had to go, he had a meeting to attend to. As it was, Edward didn't have much longer anyway until he would be deigning to join the emperor for dinner.