Hello, my lovelies.

I apologize for the long absence. I'm sure you all know how it goes; life throws you for a loop ... and that morphs into a never-ending downward spiral and before you know it you're in a back alley doing dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.

Wait. Didn't happen to you? Me neither. Ok then. On with the show.

I'm finally working through my edits of these later chapters, and again I apologize for disappearing. I will thank my lovely betas and pre-readers as is customary, but I'd like to take some time out to give special mention to the readers that very politely poked and prodded. Even in the midst of my self-centered depressive acts, it was nice to be reminded that there are some who still believe in me. So specific gratitude and bows go to JordynnEm, VeThena, and MissJanuary, and the patient-and-always-kind-and-REALLY-never-gave-up-on-my-lazy-ass mention goes to the wonderful DutchGirl01. Though I may have been a prat over the past year, know that I did hear the message and I did appreciate it.

This story is written in the first-person point of view, and sometimes switches between characters by scene or chapter. (Please do not panic; I do not repeat each scene from various points of view.) I do not label my chapters with character names, subsequently, your key is thus: Chapter titles that are short & succinct are Bella's, long witticisms are Esme's; song titles are in quotes, belonging to Edward, and Rose's are questions, finished off with an interrobang (‽).

Reminder: a couple members of my usual team may be missing occasionally because I've hastened my posting schedule and I'd therefore like to make it clear that any screw ups are entirely my own.

The team of greatness: cookEgawd, Blackjacklily, Detochkina and MunkeeRajah.

*double muah* to KayMarieXW

Chapter Thirty-Six: "What the Water Gave Me"

Hours later, after my siblings spirited Bella away from the scene, after the fire trucks had gone and long after we finished spinning our thrall-enhanced tale to both campus and city police officers, I found myself locked down onto Bella's beloved black leather chaise back at the house. It took Rose two hours to get through the story of how things had gotten to the point they had, and throughout the whole time Esme and Carlisle held me down onto the chaise with loving but firm grips that I could have sworn were superglued to my shoulders. They didn't understand that in spite of my visible anger, there was no need to worry about the possibility of my temper exploding. My fear overrode my anger, and even if it had not, the last thing I wanted to do was disturb Bella. She was sleeping deeply in her bed, only a few feet away from us. I was not incredibly keen on having the particular conversation at hand in her room, but the alternative was unacceptable: I would not leave her side until I was one hundred percent certain that every part of her was fine—aside from her singed hair.

I could hear the unelaborated plea in Rose's voice as she spoke, but even if I had not been able to grasp her subtle begging, I could not have missed what crossed her mind.

Please, Edward, don't kill me. I was trying to help. I tried to do what she wished, and considering our track record with taking her wants into consideration, well, can you really blame me?

Yes, yes, I can.

Regardless, I tried to keep as stoic an expression on my face as possible. Unfortunately, every time I began to relax, Rose would get to a new point in the story where she reveal yet another happening that I should have been informed of. Some detail that put my love in danger; it made my muscles tense and anger flare. Carlisle and Esme would clamp down a little harder each time.

When she finally finished, all heads turned to look at me. I said nothing.

"Well then." Esme began to stroke my arm in her attempt to comfort me. Even my ingenious mother could think of nothing to say in response to what had transpired today. It did not matter. They did not yet realize that I had placed the blame squarely on my own shoulders.

I closed my eyes trying to recall every single domineering thing I had ever done. "Am I that bad, Rosalie? Have I been so horrible that she did not feel she could tell me she was in danger? Was she afraid of my reaction? Was it fear that I would leave her, or did she suspect my methods of protection would be overbearing?"

"Both, I think." Rose started to visibly relax until I shot her a still-angry glance. Emmett stroked her back while she spoke, busy in his attempt to calm his mate. She went on.

"—But it's more than that. And it's not like she thinks you're horrible for trying to protect her. She didn't even want me involved, really. We kinda forced ourselves back into her life and immediately took the role of protectors, and she didn't like it. Didn't want it. I understand where she's coming from, actually. She'd managed, what, three years without us? Then here we come acting like we're the only solution to the pain-in-the-ass that was Victoria. She wanted to prove that she could take care of herself. She needed to prove it."

Though Rosalie looked at me, the rest of what she wanted to say remained unspoken. I closed my eyes in acknowledgement to the message she was sending.

Alice whispered from where she sat on the bed, her arms curled around a still sleeping Bella. "Jeez, Bella. You lived after slamming straight into a whole heap of rock, and you've managed to survive being around us and our screw-ups for far longer than anyone should have reasonably expected. None of us ever thought you were weak. I don't know if I've ever met anyone stronger, I swear it."

Jasper shrugged. "I can't say the plan was foolproof, but we've gotta give her credit: she did manage to get rid of the problem, even if she did nearly burn a building down in the process."

"Oh, la mia pace, don't exaggerate so." Esme smirked at Jasper. "Though I must say that we should be thankful; this could have gone a lot worse, indeed."

Carlisle wasn't much more pleased than I at today's turn of events. He released his hold on me and spoke with a stern note underlying his words. "I, however, think we still have a lot to discuss as a family regarding any lasting repercussions that we might face from this. Bella, naturally, should be included, so I will wait until she is awake and ready."

Esme squeezed me in a gentle side-hug before standing and addressing the whole of us. "Well. With that, I think all that needs to be said for now has been said. Let's leave Bella to rest."

She nodded at me before walking out, her subtle way of letting me know she had no expectation that I would follow them. I took Alice's place beside Bella. I lay beside her for a long time, listening to the sound of her breathing and waiting to catch the slightest hint of a hitch or delay. Checking to make certain her heartbeat was steady and strong. I never thought anything could make me want to accelerate time to the day I would have to turn her, but now I knew better. As indestructible as I might have been, she was my kryptonite. She had been in danger yet again, and I absolutely would not allow the possibility to occur one more time.

Bella began to stir and soon thereafter, her eyes stared up at the ceiling, her expression blank. I waited for her first words.

"Before I ask this question I want you to note that I'm still breathing.

"The question, then?"

"Are you mad at me?"

A laugh escaped me. "Yes, but it hardly matters."

Did she not realize that the only thing of importance to me at this point was that she was here, alive and whole?

"Are you angry with Rose?"

"Absolutely. Again, that is not what matters. How do you feel?"

She patted herself down, but did not fret until she felt the top of her head.

"Yes, love; Alice is ready to give you a haircut of your choice when you're ready to head downstairs."

She tried to pull the covers up over her head, but I could still hear her muffled words with perfect clarity.

"How bad is it?"

"Not that bad, I promise. Besides, your hair is—also—not what matters." I yanked the covers back down so I could see her face.

I wasn't certain what had occurred to her then, but her right arm grabbed at her left in a desperate attempt to check that it was still there.

"Bella—?"

"My arm. It should be burned. I—I jumped into the fire, and I couldn't keep it covered; my jacket slipped, and I couldn't—how ..."

Her fingers fumbled until they reached the armlet.

"No way," she whispered.

"What?"

"You think that perhaps this thing I never got a chance to ... talk to you about ... actually saved me from injury?" She pointed to the armlet.

I should have asked what it was that we needed to discuss in regards to the armlet, but I refused to ask stupid questions, especially when I already knew the answer. I wasn't in the mood to haggle over the propriety of expensive gifts.

"I have no idea. I would, however, suggest you keep it on. Better safe than sorry, no?"

"I guess so." She looked as if she were in a state of shock. I pulled her closer, and it seemed to have brought her out of her daze. She gasped loudly.

"I'm ... alive, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." Something inside me wanted to prove it. I needed to feel her, my fingers trying to reaffirm that she was, indeed, here and sans any major damage. I began to pull her into what I intended to be a deep, long, passionate kiss, but she pulled back.

"Oh gawd, what time is it? What day is it?"

"It's Tuesday evening. Why?"

"I have to pack! I was too busy and I slacked and I didn't pack and don't we leave in the morning? Oh no, I have no idea what I'm going to bring and—"

"Bella."

"—I need Alice up here. Wait. No I don't. She'll just pack a whole bunch of skimpy stuff and I'll have nothing to wear around my dad—"

"Bella!"

"—huh?"

"Let's think back on today's events, shall we? Attack, fire, burning, hard slam to the floor. Any of that ringing a bell? Don't you think you need some rest? I'll re-book our flights for later this week, we can go straight to Forks, and we'll leave our side-trip for another time."

"Edward, you'll do no such thing. This is the only thing I've been looking forward to for weeks, and if you cancel, I'll end up doing nothing but agonizing over the tongue-lashing I expect to get from Charlie the moment I walk through the door. So either help me pack or go get Alice—please."

She climbed over me and out of the bed. As much as I wanted to protest, it had not escaped me that postponing the trip might also delay my own plans. If we remained here in Pennsylvania, Alice would have a harder time finishing the tasks necessary to pull things off seamlessly, and I might never hear the end of her whining about it. Still, I could not let her jump directly back into any truly strenuous activity after all that had happened.

"Bella, please. Let's make a deal. You get back in bed, tell me what to pack for you, and I won't make any calls to the airline."

She turned around from her open set of dresser drawers. "I don't even know what to pack, considering you won't tell me where we're going. Anyway, I feel perfectly all right. I just got plenty of rest, and it's not as if packing is much of a physically taxing thing to do—"

I held up my cell phone and pressed a button that caused it to light up and await the entry of whatever number I chose. I made sure the phone was pointed towards her so that she could hear the loud beep that accompanied the first number I pressed. "I am not ignoring you here. I believe I've offered a fair compromise. Work with me, love."

"Fine." She nearly spat it, but she stopped tossing clothes all over the floor. "As long as I'm somewhere beautiful and relaxing by this time tomorrow."

I stood and motioned to the bed, making it clear she was to get back under the covers. She had to walk up to me in order to pass and climb back into the bed, and when her proximity allowed me a glimpse into her eyes, what I found there betrayed her recalcitrance. I saw uncertainty. I saw fear.

I reached out and pulled her close.

"Come to me, love. Am I upset? Yes. I am disappointed that you did not share with me these things you were afraid of. I am saddened that you did not trust me to act reasonably, and I am certainly not pleased that you felt you had something, anything, to prove to me. I, more than anyone else, know something of what it must have felt like for you over the years. Only I have an idea just how much hurt you felt. You have nothing to prove. I am absolutely livid that your life was in danger yet again. But mostly I am ... grateful. Completely and joyously grateful that you are fine. So whatever it is you feel right now, let it go."

I kissed her on the forehead. "Let it go."

I could feel her muscles relax between my hands, which were lightly curled around her forearms. I kissed her again before I swept her up to place her on the plush sheets.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I'm gonna make it through my last semester, right? I mean, you can't miss the fact that the opportunity for some serious irony is ripe, you know? Survive multiple vampires, angry bears, slamming into ragged rock, all to manage to fall into some nefarious trap right before I'm supposed to be turned."

I had begun packing her favorite CMU sweatshirts into her suitcase, and I refused to turn around; I would not risk her being able to see the tortured expression that crossed my face. I thought about what I wanted to say, and immediately realized it was exactly the wrong thing. My mindset had reverted for a moment:

The six months that followed would be an exercise in how not to let her out of my sight without her knowing I was giving her no space. I knew that would be the only way I could guarantee the statement I wanted so assuredly to make to her: Nothing on this earth will take you from me, Bella. I swear it.

That, however, was not what I said. I came to my senses, for I had learned a lot earlier that day. For all of Bella's strength and for all her determination to show me said strength, she was tired. Both the act and the need for it had drained her. What she needed now was proof that I saw what she had done, and that I understood. What was needed was an assurance that we were in this together, and that I was her partner. I had finally understood.

"We will all do our parts to make sure that doesn't happen. That includes you informing us all of any threats and not taking any unnecessary risks. That includes my listening to what you have to say and how you think we should approach things. We will figure this out together, and together, nothing will get past us, I promise you."

"Okay." She yawned. Her words came out rather drowsily for someone that had so soon before claimed to not need any rest. For all of gravitas I used for my grand vow, she was really too fatigued to really grasp most of it. My head drooped and I sighed, hardly able to believe my poor timing.

Bella managed to hold her eyelids open for a final moment . "Are we going somewhere warm? Do I need a snorkel? Pack a snorkel if I need one. Wait, you wouldn't have a snorkel around; I mean, I'm the only one around here that needs to breathe ... well, what about snowshoes? Oh, and don't forget ..." Her voice faded into silence, but I clearly heard the sound of her slowing heartbeat and the steady, quiet breathing that told me she had fallen asleep.

Five minutes later, while deep in sleep:

"Yeah. No snorkel. Stupid idea. But hey, Alice, make sure you pack my ..."

A very long pause followed, during which I stood stock-still, waiting to find if she would continue. I didn't want to miss anything she felt she needed to bring.

"... my prettiest underwear, mmkay? Not butt floss, but pretty. I'm gonna seduce Edward even if it kills me."

I had to honor her wishes. I had no right to do otherwise, regardless of my gut reaction to the idea of her seducing me. I still shuddered to think of following through on the task itself, however, so I made a note to ask Alice to pack any delicate or feminine items once I was done.

It made me wonder if there was yet another epiphany I had not yet had. So many times I had asked Bella to trust me, trust my ability to protect her, asked her to wholeheartedly believe the decisions I made for her and for the both of us were all for the best. Had I ever returned the sentiment in kind? Had I ever trusted her judgement? Perhaps it was truly that simple. I would place my faith in her conviction, and I would stop doubting her strength.

All of these lofty goals were easier said than done. I knew then that it would be the longest two-day trip ever.