"Who knew that when left alone Priss the Prefect transformed into the Grumpy the Grouch", Lily's visitor said with a grin, from where he leaned nonchalantly against her door frame.
"What do you want?" Lily asked with an edge to her voice.
"Aren't you going to invite me in? Honestly that's a bid rude, Evans."
"Oh, pardon me, Black," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "You're right I'm the one being rude. Oh wait, no I'm not! You're the one who just showed up on my doorstep completely unannounced!"
"Think of me as a Christmas package, just arrived." Sirius said as he made his way into Lily's flat.
"There bloody well better be a receipt," Lily grumbled as she closed the door.
"Who knew the prefect was such a slob?" Sirius said as he surveyed the flat.
"I wasn't exactly expecting guests, or intruders for that matter." Lily said waspishly. "What are you doing here, Sirius? Potter's kick you out?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "My Uncle Alphard lives a few streets over with his house elf, Dixie. I always stay with him the first couple weeks of summer, just to see how he's doing and all."
"But I thought…"
"I hated my family? Yeah, I do. But Alphard's different. He didn't really come around much when I was a kid. He's my mother's brother and they never really got on all that well. Anyway when I was sorted into Gryffindor it was a family emergency. Mother summoned everyone; she was in such a state of hysterics. Uncle Alphard thought the whole thing was hilarious. He was a Slytherin himself, but he's always been a bit of an oddball, a free spirit, so I guess he related to me. When mother would barely speak to me that year at Christmas holidays, he let me come and stay with him and Dixie, and we've been pretty close ever since. "
"I don't think I ever heard Andromeda mention him before?" Lily mused.
"She never really liked him to be honest. He's a bit of an acquired taste. Suppose it comes from all those years of living alone."
"So it's just him and his house elf?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, Dixie's great. Wish my family's house elf was a nice as she is. Kreacher is well, he's a creature alright. They're actually siblings," Sirius said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that mother got on well with Kreacher, seeing as she's a bit of a creature herself; and I guess Alphard was always closest with Dixie. Anyway he freed her when he turned 17 and left home, but she's stayed with him all these years. The two of them are a pair these days, both as senile as can be, always forgetting where things are, neither one of them can hardly see worth a damn. I offered to stay with them, or to find someone to stay with them, Merlin knows he has enough money, but they're both as proud as can be and won't hear of it. It's always been the two of them and that's how it'll stay."
Lily nodded. It was an interesting story but it still didn't answer her question as to why Sirius was here in her flat.
"Well aren't you going to go change?" Sirius asked after a moment.
"Excuse me?" Lily asked, the edge returning to her voice.
"Well I suppose no one will really be looking at you when you're with such a fine specimen as myself, but still I think it's important that our prefect's keep up an appearance of superiority."
"Who said I'm going anywhere with you?" Lily asked pointedly.
"I did. Just now, weren't you listening?" Sirius said with a rogue grin. "You know there's no point in arguing, flower, I can be very persistent. Besides, I'm like herpes once you've got me you can't get rid of me."
"I thought the saying was like mold?"
"Yes, but what's life without a little sex?" Lily didn't answer and turned to grab clothes out of her dresser before marching off into her bathroom. "The question wasn't rhetorical? Really how is life without sex, virgin flower?"
"Fuck off," Lily called over her shoulder as she slammed the bathroom door behind her. And then a moment later she opened back, peeking her head and glaring at Sirius. "Call me 'flower' again and you'll be forced to live the rest of your life without sex, and if you even think about trying to undo the locking charm I'm about to place on this door, your life will be significantly shorter than you ever hoped for."
"You were right before," James said as he stepped inside the doorway of Daphne's bedroom the next morning. She was curled up on her bed, her face and hair seemingly the only thing that was not covered in lavender.
"I know," she said. Her voice betrayed no emotion, and neither did her face as she turned to look at him.
"I wouldn't hesitate if Lily asked me not to fight. My answer would still be the same."
"I know that, I guess I was just mad." Daphne answered.
"But why? It's not like this is something new. You've always known I was going to fight once we got out of school. I don't see why you're angry or what Lily has to do with anything."
"Because before you were just a child," Daphne said. "You wanted to fight because it was exciting and an adventure! You wanted to prove you were a Gryffindor through and through and not just in name only, but now you're fighting for a different reason. You're fighting for Lily Evans. You said so yourself just last night. You have to fight because they almost killed her."
"I didn't say that was the only reason. He tried to kill my parents! His people killed innocent people like Benjy Fenwick and his entire family! And yes his damned Death Eaters nearly killed Lily Evans and if given the chance would kill any other person of her blood status."
"But you're not risking you're life for every single muggleborn. You're risking your life because you don't want her to be in danger."
"I don't understand what your point is," James stated, confusion evident in his voice.
"My point is that I'm in love with you and I want more than anything else in this world to have a future with you. You asked during the last week of term what I had been thinking about under the tree by the lake to make me have such a look of complete contentment on my face and that was all it was. I was just imagining our future; nothing grand, no extravagant riches, or fame, or power, just love. I saw us lying under a tree. You were reading the paper and I was resting my head on your lap. Our children were playing tag running about the yard around us, and we both laughed as we felt the little baby inside me give a gentle kick. I guess I just hoped that you would realize that when you make your plans to go off to battle it's not just your life you're risking, it's mine. And I support you completely, but I guess I just wish you were leaving me and risking our future to fight to protect that future, and not for some other girl who you have some idealized notion of just because she was the subject of your first wet dream when you were eleven years old."
He nodded. He didn't quite know how else to respond. He didn't know or understand his feelings for Lily well enough for his own mind, never mind trying to explain them to Daphne. He had not forgotten the anger and pain he had felt following his last conversation with Lily months ago, but neither had he been able to completely close the book on his feelings for her. And so in answering Daphne's statement he focused only on the first part of her declaration, ignoring the latter part about Lily, although he knew that he could not avoid that discussion for much longer.
"I never knew you thought about things like that, like the future and stuff. I'm sor…" He began but Daphne cut him off.
"You don't have to apologize. You're a 17 year old boy; I don't expect you to be dreaming of a family. I just needed you to understand why this is so difficult for me."
"I'm glad you told me how you feel. It helps to understand better." And it did. And he understood all too well. He understood just how much Daphne loved him, and just how broken she would be if he could not be the man she wanted him to be. And he felt sick with self loathing. He had never fully appreciated until that moment how badly he had misused Daphne by trying to forget his feelings for Lily and forcing his mind to amplify his feelings for Daphne beyond those which his heart genuinely felt.
Lily grudgingly followed Sirius out of her loft and down the winding staircase out on to the London street below.
"So do you have a destination in mind or is your plan just to drag me around London all day?" Lily asked as she followed Sirius down the street.
"Do you always have to know everything, Evans? Can't you just wing it and act on impulse?" Sirius asked with a laugh.
"Number one, yes I like to know where I'm going when I'm being led off by some strange boy, and number two you should be glad I'm currently denying my impulses because were I to give in to them you'd find yourself dealing with the ramifications of a nasty hex."
"Touché, Evans," Sirius said with a mock gesture as though he was tipping his non-existent cap to her. In truth he was glad that she was reverting to her sarcastic side, because it was better than the alternative. It was true that he was in the neighborhood visiting his Uncle, but his visit to Evans' flat was anything but an accident. Sirius knew what it was like to suddenly find yourself without your family, to be on your own, without your parents, for the first time. And while it was true that he made do with the Potters and had felt more at home with them than he ever had with his own family, he still understood what Lily was facing. The sight of her disheveled appearance and seemingly ransacked loft that had met him upon her answering the door this morning had only confirmed in his mind that he was right to get her out of the loft for the day. "There's a place not far from here, I thought we could grab a bite to eat for lunch. And then I'm yours for the day you can do whatever you want with me," he said with a rogue grin in her direction.
"Don't tempt me Black, you may yet find yourself attached to something heavy floating to the bottom of the Thames; or even better, in the Channel heading out to open sea!"
"Such a lovely girl," Sirius said sarcastically as they made their way around the corner and up the block before turning in to the small restaurant that Sirius had mentioned. "And a great personality, always saying something sweet and kind to everyone."
"And to think, I thought I'd never find someone to bug me as much as Potter, but you're coming awfully close." Lily said as they were led to an open booth by the hostess at the restaurant, who added an extra sway to her hips as she took in the sight that was Sirius Black. Lily rolled her eyes as she slid into the booth, she honestly didn't see the attraction. Black was almost too pretty to be attractive, but she knew that she was in the minority, the vast majority of girls at Hogwarts would give their right arm to be noticed by Sirius Black, and Lily knew that many of them had given Black a lot more than that.
"James can get away with more because you and I don't have the same chemistry," Sirius said with a wink. His comment pulled Lily out of her thoughts.
"I do NOT have chemistry with Potter," Lily said indignantly.
"Yeah, and the hostess didn't undress me with her eyes when we walked in here," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.
"Wow, and you're even more conceited than Potter. It's amazing Gryffindor wins any Quidditch matches, considering our Keeper and one of our Chasers have such large heads it's amazing their brooms can rise more than a meter off the ground."
"I agree, it just makes us all the more impressive that we're able to fly with such big heads, practically forces us to defy gravity."
"What can I get for you today?" The waitress asked, clearly trying to ignore Lily and speak only to Sirius. After they had given her their orders, she hovered needlessly for a few moments as if hoping to engage Sirius in conversation, but upon failing at this she skulked back to the kitchen dejectedly.
"Unbelievable," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.
"Jealous, Evans?" Sirius asked with a laugh.
"Not even close," Lily replied honestly. "More that I just lost respect for my gender."
"Ah, don't be too harsh on them. They can't all be as steadfast as you and resist this pretty face," he said with a cheeky grin. "And besides it's not like you've never had a guy make a complete fool of his self trying to impress you." He continued before she could interject her answer, which he was sure would contain fireworks. "And now that we are back onto the topic of my best friend and your fine self, you can admit that you and James have undeniable chemistry."
"Clearly not, since I just denied it. And there is no topic of me and Potter, because there is no me and Potter! There is only me, Lily Evans, and then totally separate there is James Potter."
"So are you in the habit of stunning men who you have no chemistry with, while they are naked?" Lily felt her traitorous pale skin blush red. She tried not to think about that morning, as it tended to cause a huge set back in her attempts to get over, and forget, whatever foolish feelings she had once had for James Potter. But at Sirius' words came unbidden in her mind the image of James, lean, yet muscled from years of Quidditch, sexy as hell, standing before her completely naked, and her pulse quickened. She shook her head, seemingly answering "no" to Sirius' question, but really just trying to pull herself back together.
"No, not yet. But if any other's try and sneak in on me while I'm taking a shower, I most certainly will." Lily said.
"Ah, but you're overlooking one important point, flo…" he trailed off at the look on Lily's face, "I mean Lily. You weren't actually taking a shower, were you? It was all a clever ruse designed specifically to get my besotted best friend naked." Lily had to laugh, she had no choice, it had been perhaps the sole moment in her life where she had pulled off an actual prank.
"He deserved it," Lily said after a moment.
"Ah, yes, that's right; it was an act of revenge for an encounter the previous evening." Sirius said with a wink towards Lily. Lily however, had no desire to remember this particular encounter, and merely rolled her eyes at Sirius, before breaking up his walk down memory lane.
"We both know what happened that summer, so why don't you go on and get to whatever ridiculous point you are trying to make?"
"Me? Ridiculous? Never!" Sirius said with a laugh before continuing. "I spent all last summer with the two of you under one roof, and you cannot possibly deny the existence of chemistry between you and James. You both were constantly either fighting, or playing mind games with the other, or flirting," he arched his eyebrows as if daring Lily to challenge the term, but she did not, "or whatever else you two got up too." Lily considered for a moment. She could deny it, again, but that would just provoke Sirius to embark on another series of remembrances that would just cause her to relive her heartbreak, and she did not want to risk his bringing up what had happened over Christmas break.
"Okay, clearly you are like a dog with a bone and are not going to give up, so how's this. We'll compromise. I'll tell you what you want to hear, within reason, and you get off of this ridiculous topic. I will agree with you that last summer, confined in close quarters, Potter and I did share some fireworks, but it was a purely in the moment type of thing. I don't think you can possibly deny," Lily added turning Sirius' words around on him, "that whatever chemistry existed between Potter and I, it certainly has evaporated, after all Potter and I haven't spoken in months on end."
"No, you haven't," Sirius agreed solemnly. He waited for a moment as if hoping Lily would elaborate more but she did not, and he knew better than to try his luck with this clearly contentious topic.
They spent the rest of the afternoon amicably wandering in and out of the muggle stores that lined the streets back toward Lily's loft, and Sirius kept his word, not bringing up James again. It was clearly a sore spot, as it was for his best friend, which gave him hope, on James' behalf. When they arrived outside of Lily's loft she hesitated for a moment.
"Thank you," she said sincerely, before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, "for everything."
Sirius nodded in response. He knew in that moment that she knew now or quite possibly had known from the very beginning, she was incredibly bright after all, why he had come today. It had never been about a quick excursion from his Uncle's or even a fact finding mission for James, he had come because he knew and understood what she was being forced to face for the first time in her entire life: emptiness. He had somehow known that she would need to be rescued from herself, need someone to force her outside and back into the world, to remind her that it was still there, waiting for her, and so he had done it. Lily understood all those things and tried her best to communicate in that simple embrace her thanks for it, because Sirius Black, whatever else he may be, and she had a long list in her head of choice words that he certainly was, had thrown her a life preserver today that ensured she would be able to weather the tides of grief and loneliness.