This was originally going to be two chapters, but because I didn't want to give you guys yet another cliffhanger, I made it into one really massive one instead. Plus, I'm going to be starting my new story very soon. Interrupting the climax to start something completely different would be a whole new level of cruelty. Even I'm not THAT mean.

Chapter 35: Sayonara

"...Where am I?"

Po was beyond confused. He thought what he had just went through was surreal enough. Now he wasn't even sure if he was in the Valley anymore.

Once the white smoke finally cleared, he found himself in what appeared to be some kind of Japanese rock garden. He had heard of such places before, but dismissed them as one of those weird Japanese myths, like yokai and sushi. Well, myth or not, he had to admit it was kind of nice. The garden was split into two sides by a stone path, winding off far into the distance. Even more stunning was that the entire place seemed to be stuck in a perpetual sunrise. The sun could be seen clearly through the arches of a massive shinto gate, and standing underneath that gate, with his back to him, was Danzaburo.

Po had completely failed to realize that he was no longer holding the tanuki until just now. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked somberly, still facing away. "Welcome...to Japan."

"Woah, you can teleport too?!"

"No, you idiot! This is just an illusion, no more real than the audience we were just performing for. I merely wanted to reflect on my home for a bit before I return to it." Po looked around uneasily. "Don't worry, I got rid of all the clutter. I don't want anything to interrupt our final duel. This is the land where true warriors fight, Dragon-san. Consider it an honor that I allow you to glimpse it before I take your life."

He spat the leaf from his mouth and caught it as it returned to katana form. "Now then...shall we begin?" He finally turned around, pointing the blade towards him, eyes blazing with determination. "I will show you the true power of the tanuki clan!"

Shifu zipped around the area, scooping up as many civilians as he could manage and escorting them to safety. It was steady progress, but far too inefficient for his liking with the sheer number of people that needed to be rescued. The Emperor of China was being more effective just by shouting orders. He didn't need to do anything else. The Five may have struggled to get some people to listen to them, but the Son of Heaven had no such difficulty. Shame that even his booming voice couldn't carry very far over the panicking crowd.

It was a good thing then, that the Five were being so active in the evacuation effort. Especially with the Dragon Warrior temporarily out of commission. He wasn't pleased when he heard the news, but it wasn't like there was much he could do about it now. He only hoped that his student was alright. He could just barely see the Jade Palace from his position, and even from there he could tell that something truly bizarre was going on. First, it was an unscheduled fireworks show, and now it looked like a good chunk of the arena was completely engulfed in some kind of giant cloud. It was the work of Danzaburo, no doubt about that, but he couldn't begin to fathom what he could be up to.

Whatever it was though, he trusted that Po would to be able to handle it. Somehow.

Po was already prepared to counter when Danzaburo rushed him. But like anything involving the spy of a thousand scents, it wasn't that simple. Danzaburo suddenly split into three, and those three converged on Po from different sides. Not knowing which was the real deal, Po was forced to dodge all of them, as a katana blade flew past his head, over his arm, and then under his legs. Undeterred, the three Danzaburos rotated and tried again.

This time Po was ready. When he dodged again, he intentionally allowed his attackers to just barely touch him. He lost a bit of fur and flesh off of his right arm for that, but the physical contact made the two fakes disappear instantly. Danzaburo, caught by surprise, only just avoided Po as he tried to punch him. The tanuki fled on all-fours and Po chased him as he ran around one of the large rocks.

Only to suddenly find that rock right in front of him. Po freaked out and shielded himself reflexively, only remembering that it was an illusion when he passed right through it. When he uncovered his face, he had lost his target. "Hey, I know that rock wasn't there before!"

"It's my memory, I can alter it however I please," his voice echoed from behind him. Po dived out of the way as a trio of shuriken flew over his head, passing through the same rock.

Po looked around the garden, not seeing any sign of the spy before he had to dodge another wave of shuriken. Now he saw what was going on here. If the rocks were all illusionary, then Danzaburo could use them to conceal himself while still being able to attack through them. It made Po really wish he had learned to use shuriken himself. He had enough of them still hanging around his room after all.

Well no time like the present to give it a whirl. Literally. As Po ducked more shuriken, he snatched one off of the ground and hurled it at the rock it had come from. He smiled to himself when he heard a cry of pain from the other side, and wasted no time in running up and launching a flying kick straight through the rock.

Danzaburo flew out of the other side and landed hard on his back, right under the shinto gate again. "That was...unexpected."

"You're telling me. Even I didn't think I was actually gonna hit you with that thing."

"You hit me in the shin," he growled. "And not with enough force to puncture."

"...It worked, didn't it?"

Danzaburo reigned in his temper and sighed. "So it did. Let's try something different then."

The smoke started to condense again. "Trust me Dragon-san, you will run out of tricks long before I do..."

Crane soared over top of a family of bunnies as they fled the arena, shielding them from debris like an umbrella. His back got pretty bruised in the process, but his sense of honor dictated that this own pain was inconsequential as long as he got these people to safety. That was all well and good up until a much larger rock came down, too big to withstand.

Before Crane could be crushed, Mei Ling flew in and busted the rock open with a kick. Thoroughly freaked out, the bunnies managed to make it the rest of the way themselves. "Thanks for the save," Crane said, wiping his brow.

"Was that really your entire plan? Block rocks until you get your skull caved in?" Mei Ling shook her head. "I swear, you're too helpful for your own good sometimes. How do you think I'd feel if you got yourself killed, huh?"

"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly. "Oh, that reminds me..."

Without warning, he lunged forward and wrapped the Asian golden cat up in a hug. By the time he let go, she had completely forgotten she was mad at him. "Uhhhh...what was that all about?" she asked. Not complained, but asked.

"Er, I'll tell you later," he said, blushing slightly.

"Hey guys, enough with the chit-chat! We have a job to do!" De Lu shouted, busting apart a boulder with his fist.

"Right!" they nodded, quickly joining him.

Back-to-back, the Lee Da masters continued to fight.

When the smoke cleared again, Po was somehow beyond even beyond confused.

Now he was somewhere he didn't even recognize. A large expanse of white stretched out before him, surrounded by rows of snow-covered mountains. It was easy to tell it was all fake though, given that he didn't feel any change in temperature. It was good that he couldn't smell anything either, as he could also see the unmistakable forms of burning wood and dead carcasses littered about the area. There was no cold, but he still got a chill up his spine.

"Ah yes, this seems more promising already." From behind one of the burning piles, he saw a familiar black shape leap up and land in front of him. It was De Lu, or rather, it looked like De Lu. Po had seen enough to not be fooled anymore.

"You know I already beat this guy, right?"

"Yes, when your bleeding heart convinced him to be merciful," replied "De Lu", smiling menacingly. "I assure you that I will not be so generous, Dragon Warrior. But your heart will be bleeding...all over this snow!"

"De Lu" attacked, swiping his claws at Po, who just managed to block. He then jumped up and launched multiple kicks at his face, knocking Po back slightly. Po tried to kick him back, only for the wolf to jump away. So this guy really was emulating De Lu's fighting style. His really really annoying fighting style.

As "De Lu" continued the offensive, Po realized that he was slowly being herded backwards, towards one of the flaming wrecks. But trying to attack now would be futile. Reminding himself that the flames were not real, Po ducked another kick, and threw the spy over his shoulder.

He now knew for sure what this place was. It must have been the mountain range where De Lu and his comrades had fought Lord Shen's forces...and lost.

"Wait, how did you make all of this anyway? There's no way you've actually been here."

"I didn't need to be," he said, rising back up. "I read the reports, studied the wolf, and learned his background. From that, I created a detailed representation of what that environment must have been like. It's much the same as that old shack I made, just more 'personalized'. Do you like it?"

"Sure, I guess," Po shrugged. "Show off," he muttered to himself.

"The tanuki's true talent is not merely changing, but copying. We are masters of mimicry. Even the most advanced techniques I am able to replicate if I simply observe them for long enough. For example..."

The wolf fell into a familiar stance, drawing his fist back. Po froze when he saw his shadow vanish. "Oh, cra-!"

Po was Shadow Punched clear across the mountain. It wasn't quite as strong as the real De Lu's, but boy did it still hurt.

"De Lu" hunched over, panting. "Ugh...that is a taxing technique. Too risky for my purposes. No, this will not do."

"Hey, don't you-!"

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

Tigress sprinted across the arena on all-fours, ferrying civilians on her back. An adult sheep was screaming her head off and a few bunny children were doing the same, but for decidedly different reasons. In any case, it was starting to hurt the feline's sensitive ears.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." She saw Reidak suddenly run up beside her, carrying his own load of spectators. At the sight of the tiger, her passengers all screamed louder.

"Are you sure about that?" she groaned.

"Da. It's something you adapt to when you have a large family."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure that's something I want to adapt to," Tigress mumbled.

Amazingly, Reidak still her heard over all the noise and laughed. "I imagine not, but you may not have a choice in the matter."

Before she could ask what he meant, Tigress had to jump away to dodge a falling boulder. Reidak did the same, jumping over the boulder instead. "I suppose this is a conversation best left for later."

Tigress veered to the left to avoid another boulder. "I would say so, yes."

Coming together again, the two tigers took off through the shower of rocks.

Now Po was in some kind of courtyard. A courtyard surrounded by cinder block and a couple of grown trees. Around that, he could see a dozen small huts and a big stadium that was probably used for training. Or so he assumed. The place looked like an academy anyway.

It was interesting, but he only had a few seconds to ponder it before a katana nearly took off his head.

"Stay focused, durak. I don't want this to end too quickly," the face of "Reidak" smirked at him.

"How are you imitating a blind guy?"

"Like a regular guy, but without the seeing part."

Great, he copied Reidak's snark too.

He dodged the next swing and struck back, punching "Reidak" in the throat. He reeled back and gagged, making Po recall the first time he had ever met the tiger, when he had somehow managed to make him sick. Unfortunately, he never really understood what happened there, so forming any potential strategy from it was out.

What he did know was that his opponent was now physically blind, so he rolled around to his backside and launched a kick at his head. "Reidak" whirled around and deflected it with the katana. "Still, you underestimate me. Do you think I am not prepared to fight like this? Nyet, I have become intimately aware of Master Fearless Shadow's style, and now I have the form to replicate it."

"Reidak" charged again, stabbing at Po. The panda sidestepped the blade, grabbed the spy's arm and aimed an elbow at his face. The tiger's ear twitched and his head moved out of the way. He struck back by kicking Po in the stomach, hard enough to actually hurt. While Po was stunned, "Reidak" grabbed him by the head and kneed him in the face. "Do you see now why I am so valued as a spy? I have overwritten my own style with that of the tiger's. I am like a blank slate, able to replicate whatever I need whenever I need it."

"Yeah? Well let me show you how much you need eyes."

While saying this, Po swept his leg out and tripped the spy, completely unprepared thanks to his untrained ears. He rolled away and got back to his feet, glaring in his general direction uneasily.

"Still not enough. This form is too inefficient. No matter, I will try another."

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

"Down there!"

Yin Bei pointed into the arena frantically. Master Rooster was trying to find a good place to land and help with the evacuation, so he was a little confused as to why his pupil was making the decision for him. At least until he saw Master Viper, struggling to pull a rock off of a trapped piglet.

"Works for me," he said, diving down into the chaos. He didn't even bother touching the ground, just letting go when he was close enough so that Bei would drop down safely, then moving on to assist elsewhere. He also left her behind because he didn't want to listen to her constant nagging about his kunai wound. She should know by now that something like that wasn't going to stop him, even when it probably should.

"Hold on little guy, I've got you," Viper gasped, straining to pull the rock off of him. Thankfully, it was held up with smaller rubble, so the piglet was not too injured, but very firmly stuck.

"Need a hand? Or an ear?" To her surprise, Bei landed right next to her, as if literally falling out of the sky. Before she could question it, the hare wrapped her ears around the rock and pulled. With her help, they were finally able to move the rock away. The piglet cried and quickly wrapped himself up in one of those ears, snuggling it like a security blanket.

"Don't laugh," Bei said. Viper was trying very hard not to. "Now let's get this kid back to his parents and go help out."

"You didn't look too good up on the summit. Do you think you're gonna be okay doing this?" Viper asked, concerned.

Truthfully, she still felt a little weak, but Bei grinned and gave her a thumbs up anyway. "Of course! I'm just fine!"

Maybe she and Rooster had more in common than she thought.

At least this next place was kind of nice. Po was in a big cathedral with two rows of pillars on each side. The entrance was a large red door with gold lining and handles, with depictions of gold flames on it. Opposite the door was a giant throne made of the twisted branches of a tree, complete with leaves on the armrests, back, and seat. Sitting in the throne was the charred corpse of a giant bird, which took a bit of the niceness away granted, but above that was a beautiful orange stained glass window, with an image of the Phoenix in all of its fiery glory.

"Woah..."

"This one was trickier than the others. This place isn't around anymore, you know. All thanks to me. Well, not me exactly." The small form of Yin Bei walked towards him, looking a lot more evil than usual.

Po cringed. "Come on, the cute little bunny too? That's just wrong."

"I would like to inform you that my current species is not properly classified as a bunny." She materialized two kunai knives in her ears and attacked, stabbing out with them. It looked a bit silly, but was very much lethal.

Po stood his ground, deflecting the ears left and right until he finally caught one, then the other. "Ha! What are you gonna do n-OW!"

"Bei" leapt forward and kicked him in the belly. Losing his grip, the ears got free and wrapped around his arms. The hare threw him over her head and slammed him into the ground behind her. She then used her ears as leverage to lift herself above Po and plant both feet hard into his belly, which was getting seriously bruised at this point.

Po finally managed to scrunch up and kick her off of him. The spy landed a few feet away, suddenly getting a concerned look on her face. "Oh no! Did I hurt you too much, Master Po? Do you want me to help you out?" It sounded perfectly genuine. Almost scarily so.

"You're really going all out with the innocent act, aren't 'cha? Is this part of your 'blank slate-ness' too?"

"Of course it is," she giggled. "Appearance and mannerisms are one thing, but an undercover spy's most important job is to match the target's personality. Otherwise, any disguise will fall apart in no time. That's why I was trained to be this way."

"What, trained to be an emotionless tool?"

"Bei" threw out her ears in his direction, flinging a whole arsenal of concealed shuriken at him. But even as Po did a backflip over all of them, she did not seem upset. "Emotions are of no use to me anymore. All they do now is get in the way of my mission, and anything that impedes my mission must be eliminated. Including you!"

Po reflexively sidestepped the hare's next kick, then reached out and grabbed her by both ears. He didn't think this would actually be that effective until he suddenly realized he wasn't being attacked anymore. He held up the spy by the ears, watching as she comically tried to punch and kick him, her stubby limbs not even coming close to reaching his body. She then attempted to throw a shuriken at him, which Po immediately kicked out of her paws. "Huh. That was easier than I thought."

"Damn this tiny body!" "Bei" swore, taking more wild swings at him.

"It's bigger than your normal one, you know."

Finally giving up, the spy stopped struggling and just glared. "Do not get cocky. I am not finished yet."

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

Kuai sprinted through the crowd, trying not to lose his cool at the near-apocalyptic scenario going on around him. It was no problem for him of course. He was fast, the fastest ever. These rocks would never touch him.

That attitude served him well up until a rock suddenly fell right in front of him and he had no time to stop himself. The cheetah tripped and rolled along the ground a few times. Still dazed, Kuai sat back up, only just noticing another rock heading straight for him at the last second. Screaming in terror, he closed his eyes and held up his arms to shield himself.

All he heard was the sound of shattering stone. He opened his eyes hesitantly and saw the massive shape of Dun standing over top of him. "Hey."

Kuai shot up as another rock hit Dun's back, making him clench his teeth in pain. "Dun! What are you doing?! Your armor isn't healed yet!"

"No problem," he said, struggling to talk. "Anything. For a friend."

"Dun..." Kuai didn't know what to say for a moment. Then he gave his usual cocky smirk and stood back up. "Well I can't let you have all the fun! Let's do this!"

Kuai leapt up and kicked the next rock away. He dropped into his battle stance, now inadvertently helping with the evacuation effort.

"Lee Da Academy? Sweet, I've always wanted to come here!"

Po was standing in the middle of Lee Da's main arena, which he noted was not quite as impressive as the Jade Palace's. Around him he could see the other buildings of the academy, as well as several students doing forms down below. Given that they were all illusions, they didn't even acknowledge his presence, continuing to practice away in their own little made-up world.

"Oh, I'm so happy I could make your dream come true."

Po jumped away as "Dun" rolled past him. The pangolin rolled to the edge of the arena, turned around and unfurled himself. His cold stare was actually pretty appropriate for once. "Hey, that's out of character!" Po protested. "Dun doesn't talk that much!"

"He can talk just fine. He just prefers not to."

"Dun" curled up and shot at him. Po dodged him again. He wasn't even going to waste his energy trying to hit him back. He had lost enough energy already. This whole thing was turning into one heck of an endurance match, and endurance was never really his strong suit.

Maybe there was another way. "Look Danzaburo, you don't have to do this. I know what happened to you. I know what you-"

"You know nothing!" The pangolin rolled past him again, more aggressively this time, running over the panda's foot. While Po hopped on one foot in pain, "Dun" barreled straight into him, knocking him on his back. He just barely got out of the way in time to avoid being run over completely. "You don't even know about the fate of your own species, let alone mine!"

"Yeah, I do. They're all dead," Po replied, a bit miffed. "You didn't have to bring that up again."

He laughed bitterly. "As I said, you know nothing. Not about yourself, and certainly not about me. So spare me the heroic speech!"

"But, Danzaburo-"

He laughed again, louder. "You think that's my real name? It's a code name, given to me after a legendary tanuki from Japanese history. It's as fake as anything else about me." The pangolin rolled at him again, but as Po went to dodge, he jumped at the last second, trying to come down on top of him. Po raised his arms above his head and managed to catch him, but despite his strength, the guy wasn't exactly light.

"Then...what is your real name?" He strained to ask.

Befitting his form, the spy's response was brief, and blunt. "No idea."

Po was so shocked he lost his grip for a moment, and "Dun" bowled him over again. The pangolin turned around and came at him yet again.

Welp, it was worth a shot. Why did the bad guys never listen to him?

It seemed that one way or another, he had to take him down. Just as he did in the Trial of Water, Po stood his ground and caught the spinning pangolin. With only slightly more difficulty, he threw him up into the air and watched as he came down on his backside, embedded in the stone of the arena, the real one. "Urrrgh! So this is how you bested Master Rolling Fortress before, is it? Very well then."

"Hold on, just stop this already! I-"

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

"Po! Po, where are you?!"

Mr. Ping ran around the crumbling arena frantically. Unfortunately, no one had found the time to fill him in on where his son was. This was making things difficult for Xingfu, who had entrusted herself to watch over the goose in Po's absence. "Mr. Ping, please slow down! I'm sure he's fine! You know how bodaciously awesome he is!" The vixen shrieked and launched a blast of wind to blow apart a rock that nearly flattened the goose. He didn't even seem to notice.

Firing wind behind her, she finally caught up with him, wrapping Ping up in her arms. He wasn't taking that without a fight and flailed widely, screaming for his son. "Please Mr. Ping, you have to calm down! Po will be fine, I promise! But he won't be fine if he comes back and finds that you've been flattened into a bird pancake!"

He slowly calmed down. "I...I know." Abruptly, the goose put his wings around her and sobbed into her shoulder. "Oh Po, why do you have to keep doing this to me?"

Xingfu felt a little uncomfortable, but at least she could keep him safe now.

She turned her head and caught sight of Zhi Ming standing several feet away. The tortoise was making no effort whatsoever to avoid the deadly rocks. "So the end of the world has come? Took it long enough."

Xingfu growled in frustration and ran after him. Was this how Po felt as a protector? She didn't think it was possible, but somehow she had come to appreciate the guy even more.

"Oh geez, why did you have to take me here?!"

Po didn't want to describe the place he was in now. Nevertheless, it was a darkened bedroom lit by only a few candles. That was not the disturbing part. The disturbing part was all the pictures, action figures, and merchandise of himself. Especially since half of them had distinct lipstick marks on them. It took little imagination to guess who's bedroom this was. "You know, I'm starting to think that you're the stalker here."

"What are you talking about Po?" asked "Xingfu", smiling cheerfully. "I'm not a stalker, I'm your biggest fan!"

He shuddered. "Never do that again."

Her expression abruptly changed. "As you wish." Apparently prepared for this situation, she drew a pair of bladed war fans and charged.

Creepy as this was, Po remained focused and sidestepped the first slash, then ducked under another. He was starting to get really sick of all this. "So let me get this straight. You really don't remember your own name?"

"Xingfu" backed off and started circling him, looking for an opening to strike. "I remember what is necessary. I remember my clan, my parents, and our history. My own identity has no meaning anymore. Ironic, isn't it? The one person I know least about is myself."

Po frowned in sympathy, which the spy evidently mistook for pity. "Xingfu" started shooting wind blast after wind blast at him with little attention to where they were going. And even though they were all missing, she didn't let up, only getting more frantic. "I don't need a name! I don't need emotions! I don't need an identity! I don't need anything except my knowledge!"

Po took the last attack head on, but held his ground. "You want some knowledge? Then know this: the Dragon Warrior is about to lay the smackdown!" Po jumped over the last blast and landed a flying kick directly in her chest.

As the vixen flew back and hit the ground, it seemed that Danzaburo had reached his limit. Po saw the smoke shield around them shudder, then dissipate completely. Before he knew it, they were back at the Jade Palace arena. Not that they had ever technically left in the first place.

Danzaburo, back in tanuki form, was down on one knee, breathing heavily. Po approached him, cautiously.

"Soooooo...ready to surrender yet?"

He glared.

Monkey dashed around the arena wildly, only partially focusing on the evacuation. His real concern was with his friend Mantis, who had completely disappeared after failing to hit Danzaburo during the trial. "Mantis?! Mantis, buddy, where are you?!"

"Down...here..."

Monkey stopped. "Mantis, is that you?! I can hardly hear you over the crowd! You sound all muffled!"

"Get...off me..."

"Get off? What do you mean by-oh, whoops!" Monkey lifted his foot, finding a thoroughly buried Mantis underneath. "Buddy, I'm so sorry!"

"No no, it's okay. I'm used to getting stepped on."

Monkey gingerly lifted him out of the self-made crater. "How did you survive?"

"Tough exoskeleton, and because I refuse to die by anything other than head-eating. So what'd I miss?"

"The mountain is collapsing, Danzaburo escaped, Po went after him, and now everyone's helping to evacuate the spectators. Like, literally everyone."

"Po did what now?"

"Yeah, it wasn't too smart, but that's Po for you. I wouldn't worry about him though. Not when he has great friends like us on his side."

Po ducked as "Mantis" flew over his head. The bug managed to hit a single nerve point in his shoulder, making his right arm go numb. While he tried to bring it back to life, "Viper" wrapped around his legs and tripped him. Po raised his good arm and fended off a flurry of punches and kicks from "Monkey", taking several blows to the face in the process. He grabbed hold of the simian's tail and flung him into the air. He barely got back up when "Crane" dove down at him, beak-first. Po fell back, letting the bird fly over him, then shot back up and kicked him in the stomach, sending him back to the ground. He readied himself as "Tigress" charged at him, launching her signature double-palm strike. Po struck first, nailing the spy in the face and knocking him back into tanuki form.

Danzaburo staggered a bit, weak, but still standing. "I...will...not...surrender!"

Po was tackled to the ground by the fearsome feline form of "Tai Lung". Blocking the leopard's frenzied attacks as best he could, Po finally got feeling in his other arm back and smacked him across the muzzle, then shifted momentum to roll on top and flatten him. He didn't get to celebrate for long as he felt a sharp pain in his belly. He yelped and jumped off of the sharpened talons of "Shen", then dodged those same talons as they came at him in a series of kicks. Po grabbed his leg and turned him around, only to get the peacock's tail feathers in his face. When he shoved the feathers out of the way, the "Wolf Boss" attempted to bite him. Po grabbed the lupine by the jaw and clamped it shut, then shot his leg up to punt him straight into the air. The wolf went flying up, and the tanuki came back down to meet the ground.

He was clearly exhausted now, but Danzaburo stayed on his feet and snarled viciously. "Just die already!"

He only had the energy left for one more transformation, but he made it count. Po was now facing an identical copy of...himself. "Get ready to feel the thunder! Wait, I'm from Japan, so how about you get ready to feel the sun! ...No, that doesn't have the right feeling to it. Just sounds like I want to give ya sunburn. Okay okay, I got it. Get ready to feel the sunder!"

Po was horrified. "I do not talk like that!"

Po and Po squared off, walking around each other slowly. But given how impatient he was, this couldn't hope to last for very long.

And it didn't.

"SHAKABOOEY!" they both shouted, leaping at each other and striking with their bellies. The two pandas bounced off of each other and landed back on the ground.

"FEET OF FURY!" They charged forward and assaulted each other with a rapid-fire stream of kicks. Again, they were merely deflected off of each other.

They came at each other one more time, both extending a paw towards their adversary.

"SKADO-"

They froze in place. Po and Danzaburo looked at each other apprehensively, having each ensnared the other in the Wuxi Finger Hold. Their pinkies were raised, ready to come down at any moment. "Oh, so you know this hold?" Po asked, sighing. "Fantastic."

"I don't understand!" Danzaburo growled. "I know your style, your techniques, your ridiculous catchphrases! How is it that I cannot find a form to defeat you, Dragon-san?!"

"That's the thing. It's not about the knowledge," Po smiled. "You think you can just carbon copy someone's kung fu and become an instant master? Sorry buddy, it takes a lot more work than that. Work, and real, actual experience. You just can't fake being a kung fu master, no matter how hard you try."

"How dare you-!"

"Don't believe me? Then let me show ya an example." Po was outright grinning now. "For one, even if you do manage to beat me, I bet you'll never beat the one opponent even I have never overcome."

"Is that so?" Danzaburo asked, laughing. "And who would this 'opponent' be?"

Po glanced over the spy's shoulder. "The stairs."

"...What?"

Without warning, Po raised his leg and kicked the other panda square in the belly with enough force to propel him backwards. Danzaburo flew through the doors of the arena, hit the thousand stairs, bounced off, then bounced off again...and again...and again...

It was an endless shower of pain and humiliation. And now he couldn't even change forms. "HOW! DO! YOU! STOOOOOOP?!"

"What, you don't know that?"

Po watched as Danzaburo bounced down the stairs and out of sight, his screams echoing up the mountain. "And that's how it's done!"

"We did it!"

Viper cheered as she and the Five came back together. The mountain had finally crumbled for good, now nothing more than a pile of harmless rubble. "One of the sacred Wu Dan Mountains...gone," Shifu sighed, shaking his head. He turned to his students and smiled. "You have done well. Thanks to your efforts, the civilians have all been evacuated safely."

"Thank you, Master," Tigress bowed. "But it was not just us that helped out."

"Of course not," said the Emperor. Behind him, the other competitors and ex-competitors (and Mr. Ping) were gathered, along with Rooster and Mei Ling. "China thanks you for your great service today. We are in your debt." Getting any kind of recognition from the Emperor was an unfathomable honor, and so they all bowed back to him in respect. Yes, even Kuai.

"Hey, where's Po?" asked Yin Bei, worried. "He did make it out okay, didn't he?"

"Po!" Shifu gasped, whirling back around on the Five. "There is no time for celebration! We must hurry back to the Jade Palace at once! He needs our help!" Shifu paused as he took notice of the palace once more. The giant cloud he had seen before was gone, and now he could see nothing at all over there. The sight filled him not with dread, but with a profound sense of peace.

He smiled. "Actually...no. I don't think he does."

Back at the Jade Palace, there was indeed nothing of interest happening. Nothing except a very sore panda trudging slowly down the stairs, being extra careful not to trip.

For at the bottom of those stairs, lying amidst a rain of falling leaves, was a beaten, battered, and unconscious tanuki.

There? See? Solid subplot resolution. You can put the pitchforks and torches away now.

First off, massive thanks to all the authors of the guest OC's for directly and indirectly giving me everything I needed to do the single craziest fight scene I will probably ever write. It is much appreciated.

Durak - Fool or moron.

Despite his general jackassery, Kuai does genuinely care for Dun and Mei Ling. This is his one redeemable quality.

Bet you thought I had no more surprises left, huh? I've wanted to delve more into Danzaburo's backstory for a while now, but never really had the opportunity to do so before. I admit this revelation wasn't foreshadowed very much. The only points I can think of were in Chapter 9, where he tells Tigress that she may "call him" Danzaburo, and throughout Chapter 16, which isn't so much HIS backstory as the tanuki clan's. He's also blatantly lying to himself about not feeling emotions.

The next update will be my new KFP3 fic. Look forward to that. And the movie itself of course. :)