It didn't take Sasuke long to find his comrades. All he had to do was listen for the soft sound of crying that echoed through the eerily empty hallways.
He didn't bother knocking when he opened the door to the wide waiting room, and no one turned to acknowledge his presence either. No one except for Hinata, who stood by Ino's side, holding her hand and crying quietly, trying hard to comfort the nearly hysterical blonde.
Guiding her to a chair, Sasuke watched as she uttered a few words to her, receiving a nod in reply. Then, releasing her hand he watched her approach him. It wasn't until she reached him when he noted Naruto's absence.
"Where did Naruto go?" He asked, his eyes scanning the room, noting the absence of Kiba and his dog as well.
"To meet Shikamaru at the front gates," she told him, wiping the tears from her face as she did so, "they're doing another run around the outside of Konoha, to look for Sai, Hanabi, and Hana." Out of the blue she grabbed him by the sleeve and gently led him back toward the doorway. "Naruto will be waiting for you there. Now go."
Deciding he didn't need to be told twice, Sasuke was out of the hospital and at the front gates in under a minute. His eyes scanned across the various ninja that crowded the entrance; he could feel the panic flowing through them. He was sure word about Kakashi was spreading, and quickly.
"Sasuke," he heard Shikamaru call from the gates, beckoning him to join him.
"Where'd Naruto go?"
"Right here."
Turning around he watched as the orange Hokage approached, Kiba and Akamaru trailing behind him, alongside a few other ninja he didn't recognize.
Before Sasuke could ask Naruto what was going on, he produced a few shadow clones, immediately beginning to give orders.
"Everyone, split up into three groups. East, west, and south. Don't turn back until sundown. If you are attacked, I'll know." Dismissing the ninja, Sasuke watched as a little over a dozen various shinobi left in a flash, a shadow clone following each separate group. "Shikamaru," Naruto called, walking up to stand directly beside Sasuke, "you got things from here?"
He nodded in confirmation, "You two better get going."
"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked Naruto, following him closely as he began to briskly walk out of the village. Just after exiting through the gates, he stopped, Sasuke almost running into him as he did so.
"You and I are going North." Naruto said, opening his eyes as he activated sage mode. He looked at Sasuke for a fleeting moment, just long enough for him to see the unshed tears in his eyes. "Come on," he beckoned, starting up his run.
As he followed his old friend through the forest, he pretended not to notice the trail of tears he left behind him as he ran, instead focusing on searching through every inch of forest with his sharingan. He wasn't going to let a single thing slip by him. He wasn't going to let these monsters win. He needed to find Hana. He had to find her.
Letting the severity of the situation fall upon him all at once, Sasuke felt panicked, desperate, empty…
As if he were in a small, windowless room, all the walls closing in around him. For a moment he felt like he was in a dream.
Because Sasuke knew that there was no way this could really be happening.
When the sun had finally set, enveloping them in darkness, Sasuke pushed himself farther.
When the air grew still and cold, and when the moon came out of hiding to stand silently above them, he ran faster.
It wasn't until after minutes of pleading and begging, when he finally stopped running, letting Naruto grab hold of the back of his cloak, and physically tug him backward.
"Sasuke," his voice was shaky. "We need to turn back." He could tell that Naruto was on the verge of tears, he refused to look at him. He didn't want to see them.
He had no defiant words left to scream at him. No other energy left in his body to protest.
Hana was gone. She was gone and he didn't know what to do. She was gone and Kakashi was dead and god fucking damnit Kakashi was gone and he'd never fucking see him again.
With that thought he let Naruto tug him backward a little more, no longer having the urge to continue. Everything was falling apart, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Weakly, he fell to his knees, looking blankly out into the dark forest. They'd been running for hours and there had been no sign of Hana… no sign of anyone.
He was supposed to keep her safe.
And he failed.
He didn't realize what was going on until he felt Naruto wrap his arms around him, embracing him tightly. It was only then when he realized that he was crying; his tears slowly streaming down his face and falling to the dirt beneath him. Reaching up he wiped his sleeve across his face, desperate to get the disgusting display of emotions under control, but when Naruto tightened his hold on him only slightly, he lost all control.
Sasuke had never been an emotional man, and had never been the kind of person to seek out comfort. But for some reason, he did not snap at Naruto. He did not yell at him to go away or storm off in an angry rage. He just sat there, in the dirt and grass, and cried.
He would never thank him for it. He would never acknowledge it again. But he knew that Naruto wouldn't ever force the topic again either. He'd always been a good friend.
And like always, Sasuke had never deserved it.
Hours later they found themselves a few miles away from Konoha's main entrance. Neither of them had said a single word since they turned around and started heading back. At one point, Naruto faltered slightly in his movements, stumbling on a tree branch before catching himself and resuming his run.
"What was that?" Sasuke asked, noting the surprised look on his face.
"They found Hanabi and Sai," he said, eyes forward as he began to push his legs a little harder.
"What about Hana?" Sasuke asked, almost desperately. "Was she with them?"
"I…" Naruto frowned, not making eye contact with him, "The shadow clone disappeared too quickly. I don't know. But I do know that they're just west of us, and we can intercept them on the way back to Konoha."
Sasuke tried not to get his hopes up; really, he did. It was just so hard when you had two options to choose from: either assume that she's missing and gone, or hope that maybe she's somewhere out there, completely alright.
So when they caught up with one of the search groups, Sasuke's eyes quickly found his two comrades. Sai was unconscious, being carried by a couple of ninja, and bleeding heavily from a head wound that a medic-nin was wrapping up as they ran. Hanabi on the other hand was fully conscious and looked to be alright for the most part as she sat on top of Akamaru, saying something to Kiba. It wasn't until he noticed her ankle twisted at an unnatural angle when he realized her injury.
They only took notice of him when Naruto called out to them all, asking them if everyone was alright; Sasuke stopped paying attention to him when he ran up to the medic-nin treating Sai and started to ask questions.
"Sasuke?!" Turning his head away from the Hokage, he watched as Hanabi's eyes widened at the sight of him. "I thought you had run off somewhere?"
With heavy footsteps he approached them, trying hard not to lose his composure in front of his teammates. As he walked closer he could see the sudden realization in her eyes; confusion and shock quickly gave way to fear and anguish.
"No…" he heard her whisper, watching as her eyes shot quickly to Kiba and back to Sasuke, "please tell me you found them."
"Where's Hana?" he forced the words out in a hollow, empty voice. In the back of his mind he prayed that she'd understand; that she'd hear the desperation that plagued him. He needed her to know that finding them was his last hope. Hana had to be with them. She had to. She had to.
"She…" Hanabi started to speak before clearing her throat, trying to collect herself, "she was with Sakura and Kakashi. We got split up." She paused again, biting her lip as she watched him with careful eyes. "She's not with us."
Sasuke stopped moving altogether once her words fell upon his ears.
She's not with us.
She's not with us.
She's not with us.
She was gone.
He followed the team back to the village, not looking at any of them or saying another word. A painful silence had fallen upon the shinobi upon realization that the young child was still missing. After entering the village they dispersed, the ninja heading in all different directions.
Sasuke followed behind Naruto closely, not paying attention as he barked orders and gave instructions to the ninja that greeted them at the gates. He couldn't focus on anything. Hana was gone.
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.
He followed Naruto all the way to the hospital, watching blankly as nurses and doctors and various medical ninja directed Hanabi and Sai in different directions to get their injuries healed. As they walked through the halls they were intercepted by Hinata, her hopeful look dissipating after one glance toward the distraught pair. She said nothing, but walked by Naruto's side, grabbing his hand within hers and giving him an empathetic look.
A few minutes later, Shikamaru approached them, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Sasuke could tell that he'd already been informed of the situation; he asked no questions, instead jumping into conversation with Naruto about their next course of action. Sasuke was idly paying attention, his mind clinging to words like "retrieval team", "ANBU", and especially "need to depart soon".
As he watched them talk, the sound of a door squeaking open gained his attention, yet he did not turn his head until he heard the soft sound of bare feet hitting the tiled floor.
Just a few feet to his left was Sakura, staring at him with wide, teary eyes as she stood just outside the doorway to her hospital room.
"Sasuke…"
The sudden sound of her voice halted the conversation, everyone instead turning to look at Sakura in surprise.
"Sakura," he breathed in relief. Without hesitation he walked up to her quickly, placing a hand on her back. She looked so small—so fragile—as she stood there in her hospital gown. He kept his hold on her loose, in fear that if he held her too tightly, she'd shatter completely under his touch.
"Did you…" she looked at Sasuke before glancing at her teammates. Looking back to Sasuke she stared up at him fiercely, the tears in her eyes already pouring down her cheeks.
Sasuke didn't say anything. He couldn't. The only thing he could bring himself to do in reply was shake his head slowly while watching Sakura's composure completely give way.
"No no no," she whimpered, falling to her knees with her hands pulling at her hair. "She can't be gone she just can't."
Sasuke knelt beside her, letting her cry as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto's voice cracked slightly as he moved forward, reaching down and grabbing her hands, "we're gonna find her, okay?"
"We have to go," she whispered, pulling her hands out of his grasp and standing back up on shaky legs, "we have to leave now."
"Sakura-chan—"
"We have to find her!" She cried weakly, covering her ears with her hands as her breathing grew more and more erratic.
"And we will," Naruto said louder, still not moving from his spot in front of her, "But we can't go now."
Hands moving from her head to hold her midsection, she leaned over slightly as she cried, the tears rolling off her cheeks. "Why? Why not? She could be out there somewhere! She could… she could…"
"We know, but we have to prepare ourselves before we leave. We can't leave yet. It wouldn't be smart." Naruto reached out again, placing his hands on her shoulders. "It wouldn't be safe."
"I don't give a damn," she spat out, stepping backward out of his grip, "Naruto, she's out there somewhere. Don't you understand? Hana is missing!"
Flinching back slightly as she yelled, Naruto ran a hand over his tired face, letting out a long, exasperated sigh. Shooting Sasuke a sympathetic look, he shook his head. "You need to rest for now. We'll talk more about this in the morning." Before he turned around, he stepped up to her once more and embraced her lightly, releasing her and smiling sadly at her. "You don't know how happy I am to see you, Sakura-chan. We found you and Hana once before, I'm sure we can find her now."
With tears in his eyes he smiled brightly—the same, over-enthusiastic smile he'd always had—and turned away, motioning towards Shikamaru and Hinata to follow him. Sasuke finally tore his eyes off their retreating forms after they turned a corner and left his sight.
"She's gone," Sakura whimpered from beside him, directing his attention back toward her, "she's gone, Sasuke." Looking up at him with red, watery eyes, she whispered broken words to him. "I want her back, Sasuke. I need her back."
He couldn't bring himself to promise anything to her. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he felt the same way. He couldn't bring himself to shed a tear or to yell out in frustration or to vocalize his pain in any form.
So he did what he could, holding her close as she cried.
Looking down on her as she slept fitfully in her hospital bed, Sasuke frowned, caressing the side of her face with the back of his hand each time she cried out or started shifting around in her sleep. It hadn't taken too long to wear herself out with her sobs, soon enough she was exhausted and Sasuke had to just about carry her to the bed, tucking her under the covers and holding her hand until she finally succumbed to unconsciousness.
He had things to do; lots of things. He needed to find Naruto and demand to know what plan he and Shikamaru had conjured up. He needed to start preparing himself for departure. He needed to prepare himself to kill these men. He needed to eat. He needed to find Karin and Jugo. He needed to sleep too, probably.
But he couldn't do that. No, he could do it. But he couldn't leave Sakura's side. At least not yet.
It was just before sunrise when Naruto finally reappeared, sneaking silently into Sakura's hospital room; seemingly materializing out of nowhere beside him.
"What next?" Sasuke asked quietly, not moving his eyes from Sakura.
"We can't leave tomorrow. We aren't ready yet."
"Then when?"
"The day after tomorrow. Before dawn."
Sasuke nodded. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it would have to do. As Sakura shifted slightly, turning her head away from them, Sasuke tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before turning toward Naruto.
"Is Jugo still in the village?"
Naruto raised a curious eyebrow but responded anyways. "Yes. He hasn't left it once since he's been here. But he usually stays either in or around the hospital though. I think he may even be here tonight…" he trailed off, thinking to himself slightly. "He's had quite a few more outbursts than usual since Sakura left with Hana."
"What?" Sasuke asked, now facing Naruto fully. "Why's that?"
Naruto looked surprised, his shock soon fading as he rubbed the back of his neck and let out a quiet laugh. "Oh yeah. I forgot that no one probably told you."
"Told me what?" He was growing impatient, his curiosity getting the best of him.
"Granny Tsunade has been working with him since he came back with everyone at the end of the war. I only saw it happen a few times, since he practically lives in the hospital basement, but I mean I'm not usually here very often to see. And I've been pretty busy since she stepped down and I became Hokage and—"
"Naruto," his voice was laced with annoyance, "Get to the point already."
"Oh yeah," he shot him a sheepish grin, "well after Hana was born, word got around pretty quickly to who her father was. One day, I think when Hana was a few months old, he asked to meet her. At first Tsunade didn't even pass along the message to Sakura since she knew it was too dangerous. But he kept asking for months so then she finally listened." Crossing his arms he thought to himself, digging through his memories. "She was about six months old when we—Sakura, Ino, and I—took her down to see him. He didn't ask to hold her or even touch her; he just looked down at her for a little while. It made us nervous as hell! Well, not Sakura though. She handled it really well. But after a couple of minutes he thanked her and then that was it."
"And?"
"Jugo used to have fits a few times a week. After that day? He went almost six months without a single one."
Sasuke's face gave away his genuine surprise. Jugo had always been loyal to him, offering his services even after Taka had been disbanded and he'd left everyone without a single goodbye. He just never thought that the effect would carry over with his daughter.
"Once Tsunade realized what was going on Sakura started bringing Hana over once every couple of months just to say hi and see how he was doing. Before this Spring he'd gone almost an entire year without an outburst, but after Sakura and Hana left, and especially after word about their disappearance hit us, he was back to the way he'd been when he arrived."
"I want you to take me to him."
"Uh, Sasuke. It's 4 o'clock in the morning. He's probably asleep."
Biting his tongue he held back his impatient retort, instead nodding once. "What about Karin?"
"Shikamaru's actually already put her on the team."
"The team?"
"To look for Hana."
Sasuke found himself pleasantly surprised that Naruto seemed to be on the same page as him for once. But as he thought quietly, he found himself growing angry at one thought in particular. "Why didn't you use her to look for Sakura and Hana when they were missing?"
"Oh man, we would've loved to do that. Trust me. But she'd been away for a couple of months on an S-rank mission with a few others and we would've never been able to get a hold of her even if we tried. That tracking ability of hers really comes in handy."
"So she's back then?" Sasuke nodded to himself as he realized that things were coming together perfectly. Just one thing was left to plan. "What about this 'team'?"
Naruto sighed, "We're trying to keep the amount of people to as few as we can, but it's getting kind of hard."
"I want in."
"Don't worry," Naruto grinned, "I already knew you would. I counted you first when Shikamaru proposed the initial idea to me."
"Good," Sasuke leaned back in his seat, relieved. Although truthfully even if they hadn't thought of putting him on the team he would've gone anyways. No one would get between him and finding his daughter. "Who else?"
"So far? You, me, Karin, Kiba. Hanabi definitely wants in and we definitely want her too, but it depends on if we can get her injuries healed today. Same goes for Sai. And then I think Ino, too. But I'm not sure, I'll have to double check with Shikamaru later."
"You're going?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think the Hokage was allowed to do things like this."
Naruto puffed his chest out, holding a fist against his chest. "The Hokage can do whatever he wants." He paused momentarily. "Well, to an extent."
He wouldn't admit it out loud. But Sasuke was glad that Naruto would be there; they'd always worked and fought well together. He was sure this wouldn't be an exception.
"I didn't hear my name on that list," a voice chimed in suddenly.
Heads turning toward the bed the two men watched as Sakura sat herself up in bed, a glare etched into her tired features. Slowly she threw the covers off of her before throwing her legs over the edge of the bed.
"Careful," Sasuke said quickly, reaching out towards her. Before he could grab hold of her arm to help her support herself, she grabbed his forearm, stopping him from grabbing her.
"I'm fine. My chakra's fine."
He was reluctant, yet pulled his arm back regardless, placing it back at his side as he watched her anxiously.
"Don't worry, I wasn't going to count you out," Naruto assured her, smirking slightly. "You'd probably kill me if I tried keeping you out of this."
"Probably," she agreed, nodding. "What time is it?"
"A little after four," Sasuke answered. He knew she was most likely alright at this point, but it didn't stop him from worrying about her. She may have made a lot of progress since they'd found her back with Nori, but she was still too thin, and the bags under her eyes were still far too prominent.
For a moment he found himself frustrated that he couldn't overlook those tiny details and instead focus fully on what mattered at the moment, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted her to be alright.
"When are we leaving?" She asked Naruto. As she spoke she reached across the bed, picking up a bag and opening it; Sasuke could see the fresh clothes inside of it. Tsunade or Shizune must've brought it for her. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Naruto brace himself for her reaction.
"Not until tomorrow morning."
There was a long moment of thick silence as the two men waited for her to reply.
"Why aren't we leaving today?" She asked, her voice surprising Sasuke by being so calm.
"We aren't ready yet," Naruto said simply. "We're still working on a plan—well, Shikamaru is—but we still have to get everyone together and go over it enough so that everyone will know what to do. We can't screw up with this, Sakura."
As Naruto spoke, Sasuke watched as she gripped the sheets of the hospital bed tightly, her knuckles turning white and her hands shaking. Yet her expression remained stoic as she sat silently and listened.
"We have to find her," she whispered after another silent moment.
"I know, Sakura-chan. I know. And we will." Naruto reached out hesitantly, placing a hand on her knee. When she didn't make a move to swat at him or stop him, he continued, "We're going to find her. Things are going to be alright."
"What if he has her?" She said, her voice lowering, her words becoming nothing more than a pained whisper. "What if he has her, and if he—if he hurts her?" Biting her lower lip Sasuke watched as she blinked back tears, losing her battle as they began to spill down her cheeks.
"She won't—"
"You don't know that!" She yelled angrily, "You weren't there! You didn't see him! You didn't watch as he—" her outburst was cut off by the sound of her own sobs. As she began to hysterically cry, Sasuke moved quickly to her side, sitting on the bed and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He had to remind himself to be calm. No matter how badly he wanted to hold her and release his own emotions, he knew he had to be strong. If not for his own sake, then for Sakura's. For Hana's.
To his credit, Naruto kept his hand firmly on top of her knee—Sasuke could see the emotion heavy on his own face—not even moving as she screamed at him.
After a short amount of time, Sakura wiped at her face and lifted her head to look at them both with red, puffy eyes. "You…" she bit her lip, her voice still small, almost meek in a way, "you didn't see what he… what he did to him."
Sasuke suddenly felt his chest ache with an emotion he hadn't felt since he was a young child. He couldn't help but think about Kakashi; his sensei, his mentor, the man who taught him his most important jutsu.
Just another one of the people you've disappointed.
Just another person who's died before you reconciled with them.
As he laced his fingers in between Sakura's, holding her hand tightly as she cried, he hoped she wouldn't be able to feel himself shaking.
"I tried," she whispered, tears still flowing, "I tried so hard but it wasn't good enough."
"No," Sasuke spoke suddenly, his deep voice causing her to jump slightly, looking up at him through her tears. "It's not your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself."
"I wasn't strong enough to save him," she said desperately, "I couldn't do it, Sasuke. I couldn't save him!"
"Sakura-chan… please. You did all that you could."
"No," she replied harshly, "If I hadn't been so focused on healing myself, I would've noticed him lying there sooner and I would've been able to heal him and he would've been fine and he would still be alive!"
"Then what?" Sasuke said, raising his voice slightly, forcing her attention back on him. "Then you would've neglected your own injuries and bled-out instead? Sakura, if you hadn't healed yourself, you would've died. Then not only would you have not been able to heal Kakashi, but then instead of just one of you being gone, both of you would be gone!" Pausing, he stopped himself once he realized he was beginning to yell. Taking a deep breath he shook his head, trying to calm himself and get his emotions under control. He wasn't used to this. To feeling this way about people. Feeling anguish and heartbreak and helplessness all at once.
It was hell.
"You see how this feels?" He spoke again after calming down enough. "The fact that he's gone; you feel that right? Well imagine if it wasn't just him. Imagine if you had died, too? It would've left everyone twice as devastated. Imagine what it would do to Hana?"
What it would do to me…
"Sasuke's right," Naruto agreed, moving to sit on Sakura's other side, grabbing her other hand within his, "I know that Kakashi-sensei is… is gone. But he died doing what he did best."
"What?" she asked, looking up at him confused.
Naruto let himself smile slightly, "Don't you remember? 'I will not allow my comrades to die,'" he recited. "He would've given his life for any of us, at any point in time if it came down to it. We've known that—all of us—since we were kids." He paused for a moment, the smile falling from his face as he thought to himself intently. "I think that's why this happened. Kakashi must've known that it was either going to be him or you, and he made the choice to keep you alive."
As he spoke, Sakura began to whimper once more, clinging to both of them tightly. "When we were fighting," she spoke in a shaky voice, "after we got split up I lost sight of Hana but… but I was on the defensive so I couldn't do anything about it. And I was so worried about her that I couldn't focus I just wanted her safe and I wanted her to get away but I wanted to know where she was too and I was scared I was going to lose her again. And then I got knocked off a tree and landed wrong and broke my ankle and before I could register anything I had a kunai lodged in my leg and there was so much blood I couldn't do anything and that's when—" she stopped, blinking back more tears as she tried to steady her voice, "that's when Kakashi showed up out of nowhere and grabbed me. I still don't know what he was throwing me out of the way of, but that's how my shoulder got dislocated."
"He wanted you safe," Naruto said, nodding his head at her words. "And that's what he did. To make sure you'd be alright. So that you'd live."
"Sakura," Sasuke said, "I know it was him—Masaru—who attacked you, but was it only him? Or were there others?"
Inhaling deeply, Sakura wiped more tears away as she worked to steady her breathing. "There were more. I don't know exactly how many, but Kakashi and I were fighting at least five others. I don't know how many Hanabi and Sai were up against, but it was enough for us all to get split up."
"Any familiar faces?"
She shook her head, "No. But if I saw them again I'd know. I won't forget their faces."
"Do you trust me?" Naruto asked quietly. "Because I'm not lying when I say we're going to find her."
"I know you're not a liar and you know that I trust you, you idiot," she said, wiping at her face again as she regained control over herself, "but you both know that something like that can't be promised."
"Well, I'm promising it right here and right now," Sasuke said abruptly, irked at Sakura's uncharacteristic pessimism. "We're going to find her. And bring her back home."
Sakura bit her lip as she broke eye contact with him. "I hope," she said in a small voice, squeezing both of their hands tightly. "I need her to be alright."
They were silent for a long time after that, until the silence was broken by Naruto laughing as he reminisced on old times together as children. Until sunrise he talked and talked, telling story after story—most of them centered around Team 7's antics and Kakashi—making Sakura laugh a few times and even making Sasuke smirk once or twice.
Their time together came to an abrupt end as a shinobi stopped by, informing Naruto that Shikamaru was looking for him. During their final moments together that morning, Sasuke tried to absorb as much of the Hokage's positive energy as possible. This morning would be it for them—for any positivity that they'd shared with one another. From here on out it would be nothing but work, pain, and tears.
They had a job to do.
A/N: WOW, I'm really sorry it took so long to update; I meant to post this before the New Year, but then Christmas happened and I got back together with my boyfriend and decided to stop fucking working and real life is a busy pain in the ass sometimes. But I'm counting all of it as a good thing, since my moods generally affect the way I write. (Sad moods equal sad stuff. Good moods equal good stuff.)
Hope you liked it. Please review.