A/N
Hey Guys! Thanks for all the reviews :) Here's part two. ENJOY!
Short because it's a second part.
CHAD POV
"What?" I coughed out and looked at Penelope. Did she just say that Sonny was bulimic? I don't believe that. "Sonny's not bulimic,"
"She doesn't eat. When she actually does, she eats and eats and eats and eats. In other words; she binges. Then she goes to the bathroom and throws it up right after." I shook my head.
"That- How did that even start? I've never... she's never shown any signs of Bulimia." I sat up my chair and spat out. Sonny's bulimic. Why?
"I don't thin-"
"Just fucking tell me, Penelope."
"Every time you hurt Sonny, it was with someone... skinner than her. Then Hanna came and she instantly compared herself to her. Chad, Sonny hates Hanna. She told me that when Hanna came back, it was the way you looked at her. It made Sonny think that she wasn't good enough. That she was fat and disgusting. Sonny thought that you didn't want someone like her. She just… never felt good enough for you. Sonny would come to school complaining that her throat hurts and at lunch she just wouldn't eat or she'll take a few bites and that would be it." A heavy lump formed in my throat.
I practically made Sonny hurt herself. I couldn't bear to think about it. I didn't want to believe it. I've never seen Sonny showing... symptoms. Why would she do that to herself? I love Sonny exactly the way she is. I don't want her to change. God, I feel horrible. I felt like crying. I drove her to cause destruction on herself. But then I started noticing. She wouldn't eat breakfast and when she did, she was sad. She'd take two bites of her dinner and that was it. She hid all that with a smile.
"W-When's the last time?"
"Yesterday in school. I tried to tell her that she was hurting herself but she wouldn't listen to me. I'm sorry."
"Shit," I mumbled, putting my face in my hands.
I can't believe I drove her to that. I feel like shit. I'm the biggest asshole ever. I'm more than an asshole. I deserve to be hit by a bus. Grady switched seats with Jake and put his hand on the back of my head. I didn't care. I cried a little, I cried because despite the fact that she forgave me, I was still hurting her. Sonny just wasn't saying anything. That time she didn't want to eat the food in my apartment and she wolfed it down only to throw it up when she got home. I'm such a fucking idiot. I inhaled a tremble and quietly sobbed into my hands.
"Way to go, Chad. My sister's is basically killing herself over you." Jake sneered. I can imagine him balling up his fists. I wouldn't care if he hit me. I deserved to be hit.
"Stop it, Jake," Connie spat at him.
"No, it's his fault. Sonny was never like this until she met and had sex with him."
"Jake, he's already feeling bad. Stop..." Derek stated.
"No, he deserves to feel this way. I don't give a fuck about his feelings. He deserves to know how he made her feel. He treated her like shit and he should be this way. He wouldn't have hurt her if he actually loved her."
I removed my hands from my face. "You don't think I love your sister?" I exclaimed in a sob and shook my head. "I love your sister more than anything. She's my world and I already feel like shit knowing what I was doing to her. I still feel like a jerk for hurting her all those times. I'm trying to make it up to her every fucking day. Sonny never deserved to feel this way and I made her do that to herself. I'm the biggest ass in the world for it and I hate that I made her do that to herself. I would take it all back just to avoid hurting her. So before you say anything else, shut the fuck up because you don't know what you're talking about," I damn near screamed at him. He just clenched his jaw and looked away. I exhaled, wiping my face and slumping back in the seat. It was quiet for about ten more minutes. I had stopped crying by then.
"Monroe," A doctor in blue scrubs came out with gloves in his hands. We all got up, standing in front of the doctor and waiting for him to speak. "She's fine and the baby is okay," He first stated. Thank God. Now what's wrong with her? "Sonny has a mild ulcer on the right side of her stomach. We're going to keep her here to monitor her and give her the right foods and nutrients to help. We asked her what she's been eating but when we checked her mouth for any signs, she's had redness on her throat and her saliva glands were swollen. That's usually a sign for bulimia. That is our probably cause. Self induced vomiting; the acid was eating away at her stomach lining. We're going to keep her on mandatory rest for a month so no strenuous activities what so ever. I'm sorry to say but if she keeps going on like this, we're going to have to take the baby at the worst. You can see her if you like." We nodded, following him to the room they had moved her to. She was lying on the bed in a hospital gown and the TV on in front of her.
"Chad, you should go first." Connie stated. Before I could protest, they left the room and closed the door behind them. I pushed my hands in my pockets and hesitantly made my way up to her. There was... a sudden wave of anger that washed over me.
"Hi..." She breathed out, giving me a small smile. I couldn't even smile back.
"Hey,"
"What's wrong?" She tilted her head.
SONNY POV
I have a stomach ulcer. Great. Just great. I probably gave it to myself by throwing up so much. I'm just glad I'm okay and I'm glad my baby is okay. I was more worried about him than I was myself. The doctors told me that I was going to be staying her but I didn't want to. They would have to make sure I ate but even then, I probably wouldn't. He explained to me that I was putting stress on the baby and if I keep doing what I'm doing, they're going to have to take him out of me. I don't want them to kill my child. My family's here but they left Chad in the room. He looked kind of mad or stressed or maybe both.
"Hi..." I said with a small smile. He just made his way to the bed and sat on it.
"Hey,"
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You're bulimic." Shit. "You've been making yourself throw up,"
"Cha-" He just held up his hand for me to stop. I closed my mouth and lowered my eyes to the cold bed sheets in front of me. His jaw clenched a few times.
"Why were you comparing yourself to Hanna or every other girl I was with?" I wanted to cry. I could tell he's been crying because his eyes are red. I never wanted to find out because it would start problems with us. "Sonny, I love you for you. I love you just the way you are. Why don't you see that? Why were you hurting yourself over me?" I guess he knows since my mom and Penelope told him. I might as well tell the truth. "Tell me. Don't hide it from me,"
"I don't feel like you want me sometimes. It seems as if they're always better gi- women than me. At your party- you know all these tall, gorgeous, girls and I'm short… and thicker. There are some things I can't offer you that they can." I said softly, trying to keep the tears from coming out. "I... I'm never good enough. They're always skinner and prettier."
"Sonny, you're good enough for me. Most of the time I think you're too good for me. Those girls mean nothing to me but you- you are everything and I can't stress that enough to you. I'm sorry I made you feel the way I did but you have to stop. You have to stop hurting yourself over me. Please..."
"It's just… every time I see you look at Hanna, it's like you want her more. She's insanely pretty and she's your ex girlfriend. You look at Hanna like she's the greatest thing in the world and you would… sleep with her in an instant. I heard you talking with the guys and Bryce said it makes Hanna seem perfect and then you said yeah. Obviously yo-"
"I said that to shut him up. He was rambling and I needed him to be quiet. I feel absolutely nothing for Hanna. I see her as a friend and nothing more. I'll always want you, Sonny. There's no lie in that. I fucking love your curves, your ass, I love everything. You have the most perfect body ever. Why would you try and make yourself skinny. You weren't made to be skinny. You'll always be curvy and I love that."
"I don't know..." A tear made its way down my face. "I'm gonna get all big… and round. I won't look the same. I'll still feel like you won't want me once I start… gaining weight."
"Sonny, I will always want you. I don't think I'll ever not want you. I want you all the time," I'll still feel disgusting when I eat. He just sighed and shrugged his shoulder. I didn't want to tell him that I also heard him say that he only imagined having kids with Hanna. "You have two choices, Sonshine." I ran my hand through my hair and raised my brows. "You can either go into treatment or stop throwing up with help from everyone that loves you,"
"Treatment?" I asked in disbelief. He wants to put me in a psych ward?
"For your eating disorder because you do have one. You can't deny it. You need to get help from someone that can understand more than I do." I scoffed loudly and looked at him like he was crazy. I'm not going to some… metal ward.
"Fuck you, I'm not going into treatment," I spat out, folding my arms. "All I have is a mild ulcer that'll be gone in a week and a half."
"And then what's after that? Your hair starts falling out, your heart starts having problems, or the worst: you have a miscarriage? I understand that it's your health but it's my kid that's growing in you and… I don't want you to lose him. What you do to yourself, affects him." He announced. Chad actually wantsthe baby. Wow, I thought he was just putting up with it because it was me. He wanted to yell but he kept himself from doing that. "You need help, baby, so please... let me help... or let your family help. Just please,"
"But I'm fine. The ulcer will go away soon."
"No, Sonny. That's not what I'm saying. There are a thousand health risks that come from being bulimic. Especially when you're pregnant. Think about our baby. You're hurting him by throwing up and not eating. He needs food to grow and you're depriving him," Chad put his hand on my stomach and looked at me. "I know... that you want this kid to be healthy just as much as I do. I know you don't want the doctors to take him away,"
"That's the last thing I want..." I croaked out.
"Then, do this for him; for yourself." I have to protect my child. I have to do this for him. I'll just kept telling myself that. Everything I do, I do for him. I nodded and wiped a tear from my cheek.
"I'll want help but I'm not going to treatment,"
"Okay," He nodded and exhaled heavily. "C'mere..." I heard him murmur. I carefully got to my knees and hugged him back when he hugged me. He didn't wrap his arms around my waist because he didn't want to hurt me to much. Chad kissed my neck, inhaling and exhaling.
"I'm sorry." I muttered on the side of his head. It's early in the morning and it's still my fault. I feel like an idiot. When I leaned back, he kissed my lips shortly and let me lay back down. "My mom's here?"
"Yeah. Jake, Derek, Grady, Penelope and your mom," My dad still doesn't care.
"Why is Penelope here?"
"I don't know..." He got up and walked over to the door. He opened it up, letting everyone in one by one. It was quiet and awkward. Jake just looked pissed at Chad. They aren't ever going to get along.
"I'm sorry..." I said to my mom. "Are you mad?"
"Did you throw up after we went to lunch?"
"Yeah," My voice broke. She huffed a breath of air and yawned. "I want help and... I can't do it without you guys. Penelope, don't be mad at me."
"I tried to tell you." She yawned. "I was only looking out for you,"
"I know... and I'm sorry. You were just trying to help and I shouldn't have gotten mad at you like that,"
"It's okay." She kissed my cheek and laughed. "But I'm gonna punch you next time you yell at me like, okay?"
"Okay." I chuckled and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "Mom, I'm gonna get help. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I know it's not going to be easy,"
"We're all here for you like always..." I nodded and turned my head when a nurse opened the door.
"Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt but Sonny needs her sleep and we're going to move her to recovery." She smiled and made her way to the bed. She put the guards up on the side of the bed, making sure I was safe and okay.
"Bye, guys..." I said lowly.
"Don't worry. We'll be here tomorrow to cheer you up." Grady patted my leg as the nurse wheeled the bed out of the room. I don't know how to recover from being bulimic. They might just force food down my throat. I just want the baby to be okay. That's all I care about now.
CHAD POV
I had Sonny's things in my hand when I opened up my apartment door. It was going to be a little weird with Sonny lying next to me for a week. I'm glad she's choosing to get better. I know that... it'll be hard and weird but I put her in the position so I'm going to help get her out of it. I put her clothes on the edge of the bed and made took off my shirt. I'm tired and I have to work in the morning. Then I'll go see Sonny and how she's doing. I wonder what her schools going to say about her not being in for a week. I know Connie is going to call up there and deal with the principal. I got on the bed and put my face in the pillow. I didn't want Grady to say I told you so. I messed with Sonny so much and made her feel so had about herself that she got an eating disorder. I'm a fucked up man. I'm so fucked up. I have to make this right. I have to do right by her.
SONNY POV
I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I then ran my hand over my torso. My stomach wasn't going to be flat anymore. I was going to be big and found and weird looking. He's going to think I'm so fat. I'm going to look nasty. Chad is going to hate me. A small sob erupted from my chest. I can't get fat. I don't want to be round and pudgy with a belly. I know it's going to happen but I really don't want it to. I hate this...
A/N
So… like, love, hate, bored? Review! Did you like it! I seriously hope you did. I tried to get as much emotions out as I can. 20 reviews=update. Please tell me what you thought of it. I really need detailed, critical feedback. Thanks :) Chapter 38 coming soon…