Commander Karra Shepard, Alliance marine, Council Spectre and all round hero was unsure. She was also happy, giddy and a little overwhelmed, but mostly unsure. But it had nothing to do with the Reapers, the war or anything else military related. Kaidan had proposed and she had accepted, without thinking about it, just following her heart. Shooting things, handling missions, taking care of her crew and her ship, these things she could deal with without hesitation. Getting married maybe having a family, these things made her nervous, unsure.

He was gone when she awoke which was disappointing but she was thankful as she appreciated the rest. She rolled over and could still smell his scent on the pillow, with a grin she pulled it into her arms and curled up against it, her nose buried in its folds.

Reality hit for moment as she thought about the future. Why had she accepted his proposal? If she died would he be able to keep going, move on. It had been hard enough for him last time when their relationship had been new, how hard would it be knowing they had planned a future together. Had she done the right thing? She knew there was a good chance she would die before this was over, she didn't want to but realistically, the odds were against her.

But what if she didn't, what if Kaidan died. Oh god, even the thought broke her heart. Could she go on? Of course she could, she was Commander Shepard, good at keeping her emotions in check, not letting people see how she hurt, how she was tired or scared. Inside she would die, she knew that, just as he had when she died. But there would be no-one to bring him back, there would be no-one to bring her back either. Death was final, it was supposed to be and should have been. But damn she was glad she'd been given a second chance.

She shook her head at the direction of her thoughts, why couldn't she be happy. The most wonderful man she had ever met had asked her to be his wife and she had accepted. They had to have a future, she needed to believe that, she was fighting for that. With a sigh she rolled over stretched. She needed to get out of bed, get her commander face on and go to work.

'How we doing, Joker?' she wandered into the cockpit with her coffee and looked out at the fleet around them, a mix of Quarian and Geth ships sharing the same space in silence. No guns blazing, no destruction, something she had never thought to see in her lifetime.

'The Admirals are working on gathering survivors and seeing what's salvageable and they're doing it with help from the Geth.' He spun his chair to face her, 'You know I was here and I still find it hard to believe that you stopped a three hundred year old war without one side having to die. You really are an amazing woman, Shepard.'

'Thanks,' she smiled and met his eyes. 'But I didn't do it alone, I have this amazing crew and a hot shot pilot that helped.'

'No, I think you did this all by yourself. You took on a Reaper, alone and on foot. You entered the Geth collective, you talked down Admirals determined to destroy the Geth at all costs.' He chuckled, 'we won't mention that you punched an Admiral and knocked him on his ass.'

'Yeah, not one of my better moments,' she laughed.

'Oh, I don't know, someone will pay good money for the footage,' he wiggled his eyebrows and her and she glared at him.

'Joker,' she growled and he laughed. 'Do you know where Kaidan is?'

'In the comm room,' he turned his chair forward.

'Shepard, is it true,' Tali came rushing towards her.

'What?' she looked at her in confusion.

'Kaidan proposed and you accepted.'

'What?' Joker spun around quickly. 'You didn't tell me, I thought we were friends, Shepard.'

'I didn't know we were telling anyone,' she shrugged, 'but yes, it's true. It won't happen until after all of this is over but yes, I agreed to marry him.' She couldn't stop the smile that lit up her face.

'Congratulations, Shepard,' Joker stood up and hugged her, 'I'm really happy for you.'

'Congratulations, Shepard,' Tali gave her a hug, 'but we don't know if we're going to survive this war, you may never get married.'

'Thanks for the vote of confidence,' Karra raised her eyebrows at the Quarian who suddenly became very flustered.

'No…, I….., sorry….., I didn't mean to imply…' she wrung her hands and shook her head, 'I only meant.'

'It's okay, Tali,' She laughed. 'I know what you mean.'

'I'd better get back to work ,' Tali turned quickly and left.

'I really wish I could see her face sometimes,' Joker chuckled.

'Me too,' Karra grinned and headed for the communication room.

'Understood, sir, and thank you,' Kaidan ended his conversation as Karra entered the room and he turned to face her, a smile on his face that took her breath away. He urged her into the corner of the room so they couldn't be seen, 'Morning,' he pulled her into his arms and kissed her lightly.

'Why didn't you wake me?' she wrapped her arms around his neck and met his beautiful amber eyes.

'I thought you could do with the sleep, you were pretty exhausted after yesterday.'

'I just thought that after last night we may have had things to talk about,' she tried to step back but he held her against his chest.

'About you agreeing to marry me,' his eyes held amusement as she scowled at him.

'I did, didn't I,' she looked away and she felt Kaidan stiffen.

'Have you changed your mind?' there was panic in his voice and he released his hold on her, his eyes seeking hers but she stared at the floor. 'Karra?'

'There are so many complications,' she said softly, she didn't see the colour drain from his face. 'We can't serve on the same ship, we'd never see each other.' She sighed and he felt the world fall away beneath him as he stepped away from her.

He backed up until he was resting against the communication console, his hands shaking, his mouth dry and his legs just managing to hold him up, his stomach churned and bile burned his throat as he fought the urge to throw up. His dreams tumbled down around him and he couldn't see a way to stop them.

'So,' she finally raised her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes, 'I guess you'll just have to resign and be a Spectre on my ship.' She was grinning but when his legs gave out and he collapsed against the console she realised that he had misunderstood, he had thought she was calling it off, changing her mind. Her heart broke at the hurt and pain in his eyes and she moved quickly to put her arms around him and hold him up.

It took several seconds before her words sunk in and he felt her arms around him. He took a deep breath and pulled her down to the floor, his arms holding her tighter than he thought possible.

'Kaidan, I'm sorry,' she whispered against his chest and he could feel moisture seeping into his shirt. 'Of course I'm not changing my mind, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' She looked up at him, feeling his heart racing and his hands shaking where they held her.

'Shit,' Kaidan cursed softly, his legs coming back to life and his heart slowing. 'Don't you ever do that to me again, ever, you hear me.' He croaked and swallowed hard. He leaned over and kissed her deeply, desperately, his tongue tasting her lips as she tasted his.

'Yes, sir,' Karra whispered when they came up for air. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.'

'Scare me, you almost killed me,' he groaned as he moved to stand up and help her to her feet. 'I can't live without you, Karra. The thought that you didn't want to marry me, didn't want to be with me…' he shuddered and she touched his face softly. 'You can be a cruel woman sometimes, you know that,' there was no malice in his words as he rested his forehead against hers.

'I won't scare you like that again, I promise,' she looked at him innocently and he kissed the top of her head.

'I offered to help organise the hangar deck so I'd better go,' he took a deep breath and stepped back. 'We managed to restock at the Citadel but nothing's been sorted yet and Steve is complaining about the mess down there. I'll meet you for lunch in the mess.'

Karra watched him leave and sighed as she sat on the step in the war room and looked at the image of the Crucible floating before her. She had her doubts about it working. This was their only plan, what if it didn't work.

'EDI, talk to me about this Crucible.'

'What would you like to know, Shepard?'

'Is it going to work?'

EDI commenced her explanation but Karra couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something. Someone or something intelligent had built the Reapers and possibly designed the Crucible, why would any race build something that could give their enemies the power to destroy them? Her, 'something's not quite right' bump was itching but she wasn't sure she wanted to scratch it.

Karra stepped off the elevator and smiled before moving to lean against a bulkhead. Kaidan, James and Steve were moving crates around the bay, that was nothing unusual but all three had their shirts off and Karra couldn't help but admire the play of light on the sweat that highlighted each muscle on their well-toned physiques.

'Enjoying the show, Lola,' James chuckled as he hefted a crate.

'Most definitely,' she grinned.

'Hey, none of that, you're an engaged woman now,' Kaidan walked over.

'Thought I'd come and get you for lunch,' she ran her hand across his glistening chest and he gasped.

'Let me grab my shirt.' He shivered as her breath brushed across him.

'Hey, wait a minute,' James suddenly turned towards them, a smile on his face. 'Did you say engaged woman?"

'Yes, Lieutenant' Kaidan couldn't wipe the grin from his face as he stared into Karra's eyes, 'I did.'

'Way to go, Major,' James laughed and crossed the shuttle bay, pulling Karra into a hug before turning to shake Kaidan's hand. 'Congratulations.'

'From me too,' Steve joined in the hugs and hand shakes. 'So when is the wedding?'

'That will have to wait until all of this is over,' Karra sighed, 'it will give us something to look forward to.'

'How come we weren't told,' Garrus marched out of the elevator and pulled Shepard into a hug before slapping Kaidan on the back.

'Congratulations,' Dr Chawas smiled and hugged them both. 'It's great to have some good news.' She looked at the group around them and shook her head, 'I need to come down here more often if this is the view.'

'You're welcome anytime, Doc,' James chortled. 'I'll give you a show.'

'I'm sure you would, James,' she sidled up to him, her voice like honey, as she ran her fingers down his arm, 'and I'd be happy to watch.'

James almost choked as he tried to spit out his words in response, his face colouring and his eyes as wide as saucers as he tried to backtrack.

'It's alright, James,' the doctor laughed, 'you're not really my type.' Everyone burst into laughter at the relieved look on James's face as he took a deep breath.

'Shepard,' Liara rushed at them from the elevator. 'I need to talk to you urgently.' The tone of her voice and the worry on her face told Karra that she wasn't there to congratulate them.

'Back to work, people, Major, with me.' Karra took Liara's arm and with Kaidan following headed for the elevator, fun time was over and lunch would have to wait.