Sam listened to what his brother was saying but Dean never really explained anything. It was all snippets and innuendo, memories of Sam in an examination room with his brother behind a curtain and the long healing. Listening to Dean cry in his sleep, the harsh words about their father followed by loving memories.

When Sam beat Dean with the belt he had a hard time dealing with it after that. Sam felt he was no better than John taking advantage of a damaged person begging for more. It was all a lot for Sam to deal with sometimes, life was too much too soon for a Winchester child.

"Dean tell me how you really feel, everything is so jumbled up with you. I hit you and force you…and you like it. That's awesome, I like it to a point but I feel like I'm really hurting you in here." Sam massaged his brother's temples with his thumbs.

"You know all about it Sam, dad fucked me up big time. I get tired of thinking about it and explaining it to you will make me look like a big goddamn cry baby. The good thing about it was John never fucked me, never penetrated except for his tongue."

Sam sat up and took a beer for himself and drank it down quickly like water, "See you have this "glass half full" memory with dad and I don't get it. If it was me I would have cut his fucking throat."

Dean smiled and shook his head, "No you wouldn't have, you would have just taken it like I did. If the best thing I get out of all of the memories is dad was a great hunter and he didn't butt fuck me I think I'm doing pretty damn good."

"You don't understand that I have to take the good stuff with the bad otherwise I would just give up. It protects me Sam, he started after mom died and that was his sick way of coping with it. Hitting me made him feel better, the apology afterward swearing to never do it again."

Sam started to cry listening to him, Dean grabbed his hand, "Hey don't cry, you wanted me to really talk so stop it and listen. Me limping off to school the next morning so I could have a school lunch and an adult pay attention to me or taking care of my baby Sam were my escapes."

Dean pointed to his heart, "I'm done with him here Sammy," Dean pointed to his head, "But sometimes not here. I think about it and put a sexual spin in it, I think how he was planning on banging me on my birthday and sick part of me regrets it not happening because I fantasize it as being this awesome bonding thing."

Sam put up his hand, "Ok Dean..I don't think I want to hear it."

"I told you all this before I'm sure but I guess you need to hear it again Sam, shut up and listen because I'm not doing this again. I might want you to do it down the road, maybe I'll call you daddy, maybe I'll do it to you and make you call me daddy…so that's it. I get hard, I love it and if I'm a freak well I don't have to tell you that's par for the course Sam."

Sam tried to wrap his mind around it all, "So you just felt..sort of..emasculated by me but you would want to do it again?"

"Yes Sam I would. Not right now but if we are going to have a relationship, someday then that will happen. Accept me fucked up or don't at all. We have a smoking hot dad and sometimes he gives me wood and I want to act it out."

Dean pushed Sam down on the sleeping bag, "But remember…no matter who is on top or bottom I will always being thinking of you doing it, the fantasy is a catalyst for the act with you. Don't ever think I'm using your body and thinking of someone else….unless…never mind."

Dean sat up and put his back to Sam. Sam's heart was breaking his brother looked so sad, "Come on babe you can tell me…unless what?"

Dean smiled wickedly, "Unless its that hot guy off Bobby's soap opera." Dean clapped his hands and starting cackling.

"You jerk."

Dean did a predator crawl over to Sam and kneeled over him, "So enough with touchy feel conversation, I am so over it Sam."

Dean yanked the robe down so Sam's arms were trapped, he leaned over and bit a silk strap on the gown, "Now its time for show and tell…tell me Sam, you like wearing this for me don't you, it has nothing to do with thinking I want a girl does it?"

Sam blushed and was glad his brother couldn't tell, "Some of it but I do kind of like being your girl. Let me up and I'll show you my girl power and get this birthday going babe."

Sam pushed him on his back and stripped down to a little pair of panties, he pressed his crotch against Deans and started the music, "I Want Candy" started to play. The drums started and Sam rubbed his dick over Dean's with just the silk between them. Sam rolled his hips and sung out loud…

"I know a guy who's tough but sweet
He's so fine, he can't be beat
He's got everything that I desire
Sets the summer sun on fire
I want candy, I want candy"

Dean looked horney and a little crazed, "Son of a bitch…. Samantha rub it raw…sing it to me."

"Go to see him when the sun goes down
Ain't no finer boy in town
You're my guy, you're what the doctor ordered
So sweet, you make my mouth water…."

Sam pulled a cherry sucker out of the panties and popped it in his mouth, "Holy shit…that was in there the whole time?"

Sam ignored is question and sang around the sugary enticement.

"Candy on the beach, there's nothing better
But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater
Some day soon I'll make you mine
Then I'll have candy all the time…"

Sam rode the sliver of silk, whipping his hair about like a stripper. He slowly stood up, his eyes were dripping sex. Out popped the sucker and he pointed at Dean, "You wont fuck me will you?"

Dean groaned, "Noooo I can't yet, you're so young…I'm dying baby." Sam turned around and pulled the panties off, he tossed them to Dean, "Stuff them in your mouth."

Dean sucked the crotch and tried to touch himself but Sam took his foot and pushed it away. "Don't suck my cock spunk off it, I said stuff…them…in ..your mouth now!"

Dean pushed them in with just a silk string hanging, Sam took his toes and pushed the string in, "Sloppy little boy aren't you?" Dean's green eyes were huge, he couldn't stop watching his confident baby take charge.

Sam pushed his groaning, thrusting bitch Dean on his belly then pulled him open, Dean pushed his cherry ass toward Sam and at that moment he would have let his brother fuck him till he bled through the sleeping bag.

Sam tongued his ass, he really had no idea what he was doing, but with Dean he could have gone all night. Dean pushed against him and spit out the panties, "Do it Sammy…you can do it to me."

Sam stopped tonguing him, "No, you wont pop my cherry then I'm not popping yours…I am soooo young Dean I have to wait."

Dean growled, "You fucking bitch…when I do you I swear I'll put you in stitches."

Sam slapped his ass, "Big talk, I'll believe it when I see it."Sam pushed the sucker stick in Deans ass, Dean gasped. It wasn't size of it, the stick was very small but it was the surprise violation.

"Now, I'm going to finish this and when its gone I'll pull the stick out with my teeth then eat you out until you hump that sleeping bag to death…then you suck off the come…you got that birthday boy?"

Sam didn't get half way through the sucker when his brother shot onto to sleeping bag, he took pity on the birthday boy and pulled the stick out.

Dean got on all fours and licked it up like a dog. Sam sat next to him and watched, when Dean was done he patted him on the head, "who's a good boy?"

Dean rolled onto his back and smiled, "I'm a good boy, but only for you Sammy."

Sam cut the cake but picked off huge butter cream rose in the center and pushed it into Dean's mouth.

"Here babe you get to eat the rose…I had my fill of yours already, it tasted wonderful. Happy birthday Dean, I love you."

Dean sucked the frosting off Sam's finger, "Best birthday ever…I love you too baby boy."

TBC